Join Date: Jun 2009
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caution: one-handed nak
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I just wanted to offer hugs. I can't offer any real personal experience because I am risked out of homebirth, but would LOVE to have one otherwise.
My sister and I were born at home in 1978 and 1981. My parents were told by various OBs never to set foot in their offices again if they were planning to birth at home. But they did it, and I used to watch videos of our births and see pictures - birth has always been a very normal thing in my mind, rather than a scary medical procedure (though, for me personally, it is actually somewhat medical).
Some ideas of things to ask your MIL:
Has she never seen sick babies from the hospital? How about babies who are premature due to being induced or c-sectioned before they are ready?
Remind her that she will only ever see homebirth babies that have some kind of issues because the vast majority of healthy ones never enter the hospital. Also, can she really say that those babies have problems because of the location of birthplace? Or would they have had them anyways?
XM,: mama to ds (5/08), dd (9/10) and ds (6/12) ! :C.H.S & M.
In some ways, it may be better to know what your up against and train yourself not to care. It would be great to have support, but there are just some people from whom you are never going to receive it, no matter what. Giving her all the information is great, but I know a few NICU nurses (no family connection) who were pretty awful to me during my first pregnancy because they just felt they had to "protect me". I imagine it is a lot worse when it's family.
My take is: Find support where you can in friends and family, and cut anyone off if they start to be obnoxious. You can always rebuild those connections later after the baby is born and their negativity wont be harmful to your mental state.