Will you find out the sex in advance? - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-01-2010, 09:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We did with DD and I liked being able to prepare. Then we decided we wouldn't for the next babe.

But now I kinda feel like I might want to find out after all. I've got so much girl stuff, and I'd like to able to sort it to keep or give away. Hardly have any unisex stuff. But then another part of me wants to be the one to announce what sex the baby is at birth. That'd be so cool.

What are you doing?

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Old 03-01-2010, 09:11 PM
 
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I'm not a big fan of gender stereotyping and I have a hard time understanding why anyone would want to know what their baby's sex will be if *not* for gender stereotyping purposes - so I don't want to know mainly because I don't want anyone else to know. I don't want to end up with a bunch of blue stuff or pink stuff.

The only reason I've heard for someone wanting to know their baby's sex other than for gender stereotyping is because knowing the baby's gender somehow makes the baby seem more real. I guess I can kinda understand that, a little, but I think, in general, I'm still opposed.

My partner wants to know because we need to pick out names. I think we could just pick out a few names and see what fits when we meet him or her!
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Old 03-01-2010, 09:42 PM
 
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We have found out all three times so far. This time I thought about not finding out since we have boy things and girl things. This is our last baby so I thought it might be fun to not know until the end. My DH really wants to know though. I don't really care that much so we will find out unless we have a shy little bean. lol

We always keep the name a secret until the baby is born though so there is something for people to wait for and anticipate.

Aimee - Wife to one hard working DH, SAHM to DD - Sunshine (5), DD - Cupcake (3), DS - Boo (1), and expecting a Surprise - Oct 2010!
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Old 03-01-2010, 09:46 PM
 
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We're finding out the sex. (you can't actually find out the gender, just the sex) I would be fine with not finding out ahead of time, but DW just *has* to know. We're not into pink and blue and will ask for things to be in yellow, green, browns, etc. anyway. We (she especially) really want to be prepared ahead of time as to the sex. We'll probably incorporate some decorations with the name, so we'd like to have that ahead of time. And our families are already completely pressuring/asking us if we're finding out. So, I think it will be a lot of unneeded stress if we didn't find out, because of those family members. But really, we just want to know. For us, it'll be a fun mid-way point thing to be excited about.

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Old 03-01-2010, 09:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Monarchgrrl View Post
(you can't actually find out the gender, just the sex)
Good point. I'll change it, thanks

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Old 03-01-2010, 09:56 PM
 
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I want to find out so I can tell my other kids and they can get excited about having a brother or sister and which of them will be getting a new roommate. Plus I gave away most of my baby stuff so I need to buy some more clothes or get some hand-me-downs if it's a girl. I don't mind gender-neutral things but it's hard to get a lot of those. I felt the same way about all the blue/pink stuff with my first and wanted to avoid that but I ended up doing a lot of pink/purple for DD and blue or army greann for DS. Really in the long run, it makes no difference whatsoever. My DD loves cars, trains, and princess stuff and my DS loves car, trains, and princess stuff. They both dress up in princess dresses and spiderman costumes when they play dress up at home. And DS loves the color pink.

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Old 03-01-2010, 10:07 PM
 
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Heck yes! I'm really looking forward to it too.

It's such a personal decision though, I'm not going to try to convince you with my reasons. If you decide to not find out, I hope you get your wish to be the one to announce the sex at birth.

Girl #1: 2/14/08
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Old 03-01-2010, 10:11 PM
 
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no - and mostly for the reasons a pp stated. I don't like the idea of frilly pink stuff or lots of "champ" and "slugger" logos for a baby or even for a young child.

We didn't find out with DS, and I was beyond caring what parts he had by the time he was born (just wanted a healthy baby).

Anyway, in the end we have lots of unisex stuff, and much boy stuff can be worn by a girl (especially baby stuff) - but NOT the other way around. So, we've got a decent amount of stuff that could work for either gender (and, in this case, I think gender is appropriate because I'm referring to gender norms in fashion?) with some added skirts, dresses, and frilly stuff that I'm SURE our families would gift her!

In any case, as much as I am a planner, I have to let go of a lot of that in my pregnancies and - oddly - not knowing the gender is nice. Having a variable that will be invariably happy and exciting is sort of calming.

B, happily married to M. Mother to two boys: B (3/08) and A (9/10)
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Old 03-01-2010, 10:54 PM
 
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well, i like to find out and it certainly has nothing to do w/ stereotyping or whether to buy frilly pink or baseball blue stuff. (and i never get gifted w/ any baby things either, so i'm not affected by others knowing)

i like to know because i can; because it helps narrow down my daydreams of the future that i spend so much time doing, as we all do during pregnancy.
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Old 03-01-2010, 11:27 PM
 
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I am 90% sure we will be finding out this babe's sex as well. We did for DD, and it was such a powerful important time for me in my pregnancy. I KNEW she was a girl...and the trust I had in myself that I was "right" was just magical. It was so beautiful, and I bonded with her that much more inside of me because I knew.

We will find out with this babe too, and if it's a boy, our third will be a surprise. I really WOULD like to experience a surprise as well!!

For those of you who are finding out, when are you finding out? At 20 weeks or earlier than that?

Tara, mama to Addison (4/07) and brokenheart.gif 03/20/10, brokenheart.gif05/27/10, and our newest addition and  rainbow1284.gifbabygirl.gif Emerson Rae (4/27/11) uc.jpg, married to John
 
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Old 03-01-2010, 11:46 PM
 
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We have chosen a girl name and a boy name and I am already ready to start calling it by one of those names, but I don't care which one.
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Old 03-02-2010, 12:03 AM
 
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No. I won't be having prenatal care so no U/S's for me. We didn't find out with the last one either and when she came out I honestly didn't even think to look. The sex was just so irrelevant we didn't even think about it until my mom asked several minutes after she was born. I had U/S's with my first two and the doctor showed me my son's vagina and labial folds , needless to say HE WAS WRONG and everyone was surprised but me. With my second baby they asked if I wanted to know and I said "you can tell me but I won't believe anything unless I see a penis", they are only about 80% accurate if they say girl *sigh*

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Old 03-02-2010, 12:48 AM
 
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Yes, we will be finding out the sex. For us it is fun and a good way to bond before the birth. Plus... DH really loves finding out!

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
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Old 03-02-2010, 01:27 AM
 
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I'm not. I'll probably be passing on any ultrasounds anyway, but if I have one I still don't want to know.

I always thought I'd want to know, because why not? If the info is there, I'd like to have it. Dh and I actually talked about this back when we were dating and he was adamant that he would not want to know. Now that I've thought about it, I totally agree with him. I prefer gender neutral clothing for kids anyway.

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Old 03-02-2010, 06:58 AM
 
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I generally forego the ultrasounds anyway so we haven't found out the gender with either of our two girls. We won't this time either. Most of my friends are adamant about finding out, but not knowing suits my dh and me...We'll love the child no matter what, I'm not terribly concerned with knowing and I believe not knowing (at least for me) helps me to not prejudge my child based on my own expectations/hopes/dreams, etc. And I really do hate all the frilly pink vs. sports jersey baby crap. If I have girls, I love to dress them in pink, but, I like to buy it myself mostly and my sons won't be wearing sports team wear or any such thing (No. WAY. NOT happening).
so..find out, don't find out...personal decision. I just feel awful when moms or dads get so incredibly disappointed when they set their hopes on having one and end up with the other...that's the worst! There's a 50/50 chance you're going to have the one you "don't" "want" - so don't get pregnant if you're not willing to fully embrace either one! JMO...

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Old 03-02-2010, 12:10 PM
 
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Heck yes! I'm really looking forward to it too.

It's such a personal decision though, I'm not going to try to convince you with my reasons. If you decide to not find out, I hope you get your wish to be the one to announce the sex at birth.


We're definitely finding out We didn't with dd2 but have with our others.
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Old 03-02-2010, 12:11 PM
 
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For those of you who are finding out, when are you finding out? At 20 weeks or earlier than that?
As soon as I can I think with dd3 I had my u/s at 18 weeks. I'm pretty sure it's a girl, though!
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Old 03-02-2010, 01:14 PM
 
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Not sure yet.

I found out with my first 2 (one girl and one boy) and #3 was a surprise. Everyone, including myself, was CERTAIN that it was a boy. I even had complete strangers walk up to me and say I was carrying a boy. We were all VERY surprised when "he" came out a girl. LOL!

This pregnancy is different, in that it is my bf's first (and maybe only) baby and he doesn't want to find out the sex.
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Old 03-02-2010, 01:16 PM
 
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No, we aren't finding out. We didn't find out last time either. I'm in the camp where I don't want to get a lot of sterotypical girl/boy colors. I like to keep things as gender neutral as possible.

Wife, mom to DS (4), DD (2) and baby heart 2.7.13

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Old 03-02-2010, 04:44 PM
 
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We're undecided. DH wants to, I'm on the fence, leaning towards not wanting to. It's not a dealbreaker for either of us.

Me+DH+DS1+DS2+Dog=me and a house full of guys, which is really just peachy, thanks.
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Old 03-02-2010, 05:52 PM
 
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I don't think we will. We didn't with DS and the surprise was wonderful. I never felt impatient or curious to know, it was as if it wasn't even an option though we did have a 20-week ultrasound. Our families gave us heck (there are some shopaholics on DH's side who were particularly miffed) but in the end they were excited about the surprise too. It's not as if you can't shop after the baby is born.

EVERYONE told us that DS would be a boy because of how I was carrying (straight out in front like a torpedo). Somehow I never let it sink in though and I never had a strong feeling one way or another and so I was still surprised when he arrived.

This time though I'm starting to feel that this one is a boy. If I get too fixated on that, then maybe I'll change my mind and find out. My cousin was convinced her baby was a boy and she had a hard time adjusting when she turned out to be a girl. She wasn't disappointed, just weirded out for a few days. I don't want to go through that.

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Old 03-02-2010, 06:37 PM
 
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Definitely finding out. We're way to neurotic not to know. We plan to do mostly gender-neutral jewel tones for most stuff, but that's not the point for us. We have our names picked out and want to start using one or the other! Plus, DP thinks it will help her bond before the arrival. Finally, if we get a Sophie, there will likely be some giraffe stuff I want to do in the nursery, and I want that all done before the arrival.

(And, for the record, I'm pretty sure it's Sophie in there. Lol!)

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Old 03-02-2010, 06:48 PM
 
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i am so on the fence with this one. dh wants to and i'm 50/50, so theirs your indecisive answer from me, lol

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Old 03-02-2010, 07:35 PM
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I agree about the gender stereotyping, but we are still finding out. I just won't tell anyone I suspect will buy me a lot of gender-extreme items (like my completely mainstream extended family). We've already picked up a few cute articles of clothing, but they are mixed, gender-wise. Some are blue and have little baseballs on them, some are yellow with cute little eye-lashed giraffes. I also got a cute green coat that is "for girls." Just nothing pink because I am not a fan of pink stuff. I want to know so that we can finalize a name choice, and so that I will know which of my friends and family were right when they guessed.
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Old 03-02-2010, 08:36 PM
 
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Yes, I will find out. It has nothing to do with buying for a certain sex - and for me, everything to do with bonding. I want to be able to call this baby by his/her name and visualize life with him/her. Knowing the sex helps me bond.

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Old 03-02-2010, 09:47 PM
 
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Yes, I will find out. It has nothing to do with buying for a certain sex - and for me, everything to do with bonding. I want to be able to call this baby by his/her name and visualize life with him/her. Knowing the sex helps me bond.

Tara, mama to Addison (4/07) and brokenheart.gif 03/20/10, brokenheart.gif05/27/10, and our newest addition and  rainbow1284.gifbabygirl.gif Emerson Rae (4/27/11) uc.jpg, married to John
 
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Old 03-02-2010, 10:40 PM
 
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yeah, as some have mentioned, it will be so much easier to stress over just one name instead of two. i know it's early still, but i'm so clueless at this point and i'm actually pretty worried about it!
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Old 03-03-2010, 12:22 AM
 
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We won't. We havn't with our other 4 and won't this time. It's just so much fun to see it with your own eyes in person. With our first my husband got to carry him into the Nursery and unwrap him and show everyone! It was a lot of fun!

We just pick out 2 names and take a gender neutral outfit to the Hospital and thats that!!!

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Old 03-03-2010, 02:01 AM
 
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Not really sure yet, DH really wants to know but I dont we found out with our DD at 21 weeks that she was a girl. I would like to be able to say "its a boy" or "its a girl" at the birth I think that would be amazing but if we find then we find out I guess.

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Old 03-03-2010, 03:15 AM
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I can hardly wait until 20 weeks, I want to know NOW!!!! lol. I really don't know how people wait--I'll second the "I'm too neurotic to wait" sentiment. On a practical level, I'm obsessed with names and DH hates discussing them, so it will really minimize friction if we only have to discuss gil OR boy names. I also want to start getting the baby's room ready, and I don't want to be limited to gender neutral stuff. I was also on the "I hate pink and blue" wagon last time. When we found out we were having a girl, I told everyone not to buy pink stuff or frilly stuff--I always hated pink. And actually, after we found out she was a girl, we painted her room blue. It's so relaxing and pretty--I love it. I really wanted to stick to basically gender neutral stuff--but the thing is, there just doesn't seem to be a lot of stuff out there that is really gender neutral--plain pastel green and yellow and white just get boring after awhile, to me, anyway. And if you try to go beyond pastels, it mostly seems that what's out there is violently ugly pinks and purples for girls and annoying primary colors for boys anyway. Most things have flowers or butterflies or baseballs or dinosaurs on them--these things are made with the explicit intent of NOT being gender neutral, making the "gender neutral" pickings pretty slim. It's super annoying. I don't know--it just seems that, by knowing the sex, you can start getting the least objectionable gender specific stuff, rather than filling the drawers with all yellow and green. And you know, people didn't listen to us, and DID buy our DD pink stuff--but some of it's not too bad. Pink is actually growing on me. lol.

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