Introduction and a question about sex. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 03-02-2010, 06:24 PM - Thread Starter
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Hi, I have been a lurker for a while, and I finally need to ask a question, so I thought it was time to come out of hiding.

I believe I'm seven weeks, but I haven't had my first OB appointment yet. This is my second pregnancy, but the first ended in a miscarriage at six weeks in December of 2008.

From the day before I found out I was pregnant, I was having mild menstrual-type cramps, and they continued for a couple of weeks. At one point, last Monday, they got bad enough for me to call the OB. There was no blood, and from reading on here, I expected the nurse to tell me that cramps are normal, nothing to worry about.

I was wrong. She said that every time I have them, I am supposed to abstain from intercourse and try to lie down and put my feet up. This was ridiculously difficult, considering I was having them pretty constantly and I have a full time public service job. Since my husband and I had sex the day before I called, we decided to abstain completely until the cramps stopped.

It's been at least a couple of days since I had any, do you think we could resume our normal sex life at this point? If not, is it just vaginal intercourse that could aggravate the problem, or any orgasm? I don't want to risk causing any problems, I'm super paranoid about it, but I also don't want to go without for no reason.

Thanks in advance.
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#2 of 8 Old 03-02-2010, 06:30 PM
 
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I have only managed a couple orgasms since I got pregnant (because I feel awful and don't want to be touched) but every time, it sets off a round of bad uterine cramps. My OB assured me that it wouldn't hurt the baby.
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#3 of 8 Old 03-02-2010, 06:45 PM
 
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I'm the opposite - I had a pretty low sex drive before pregnancy, but since, I have been very into orgasms.

I had the exact same thing, where it made me have really bad cramps after, but that seems to have gone away in the past couple of weeks...it stopped maybe around 7 or 7.5 weeks.

Orgasms will not hurt the baby! I'm really surprised by the advice the nurse gave you. Generally, there's nothing you can do to prevent a loss at this stage, which seems hard, but the flip side is that there's nothing you do that will cause a loss.

I'm very sorry for your previous loss. The fact is that most people who have had a loss go on to have a successful pregnancy after. it's very scary, but hang in there!

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#4 of 8 Old 03-02-2010, 06:50 PM - Thread Starter
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I have been told that so many times, about there being nothing you can do. The logical side of me knows that you are right, but the paranoid side of me sees that I cramp after sex, and associates cramps with my previous miscarriage, and....well, it just runs wild from there.

I think just hearing (reading) the reassuring comments will help ease my mind. The nurse was a little...less than attentive, but she never actually said that the cramps would hurt the baby/cause a miscarriage. She just said that lying down/laying off the sex would ease the cramps...so maybe she was just trying to placate me, since the cramps were scaring me?
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#5 of 8 Old 03-02-2010, 07:44 PM
 
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Yeah, it's possible she was trying to just give you advice so you wouldn't be in pain!

I know I eased off the orgasms, because it just wasn't pleasurable to have an orgasm and then immediately be in pain for the next twenty minutes.

Hopefully it will ease off for you too!

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#6 of 8 Old 03-02-2010, 08:37 PM
 
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Poor DH..i haven't had an orgasm since I found out I was pregnant....like over 2 weeks ago...

I just remember with DD that whenever I'd have an orgasm in the beginning, I'd get HUGE PAINFUL cramps that would last quite a while. That was NOT fun. It was like shooting pain down there. I waited a while longer and then they didn't seem to occur anymore.

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#7 of 8 Old 03-02-2010, 09:48 PM
 
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i know that orgasms cause braxton hicks, but wasn't aware they cause menstrual like cramps. hmmm. i think the nurse was trying to placate you and just giving you a stock answer.

to my knowledge, not much can be done about early cramping. it's totally normal, and as you read here, naturally worrisome as well. BUT, as far as bh's, drinking lots of water to stay hydrated and avoiding stress (and orgasms, too, if you have a history of pre-term labor) are key. i just don't see (and have never heard) of a connection between sex and miscarriage. it almost sounds absurd.
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#8 of 8 Old 03-02-2010, 11:28 PM
 
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IME (fifth pg now) cramps are caused by pressure on the uterus or dehydration. When you feel cramps go pee/poop, drink more water, and check the waistband of your pants and undies to see if they are tight at all. I can totally eliminate my cramps by doing these things. And please have sex with your husband lol. Orgasms do NOT hurt the baby or put you at risk for m/c unless you are already high risk b/c of incompetent cervix or something.

It's quite possible that the pain many women are experiencing with sex is round ligament pain and not just cramps from the orgasm. Try DTD in a position that doesn't stretch and work your abs so much and see if that helps. You'll probably still cramp but maybe it won't hurt so bad. I'm all about pg sex, nothing compares to those orgasms

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