Is this normal? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 12 Old 03-05-2010, 12:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I know that hormones are all wonky right now but is bawling my eyes out and suddenly thinking that there is no way I want a baby right now normal? I feel fine and then suddenly it all hits me. I dont feel anxious or depressed just all of a sudden incredibly unsure that Ive made the right choice.
Is this a phase? Am I going crazy?
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#2 of 12 Old 03-05-2010, 12:34 AM
 
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You are totally normal. I've gone through that phase with all three of my pregnancies... last week I was freaking out and crying about what this third one will do to my perfectly fine family I already have. My hormones have always balanced out a bit in the second trimester. I also started taking some flower essence to help "connect" with my little bean. HTH.

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M

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#3 of 12 Old 03-05-2010, 12:39 AM
 
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You're not crazy, I think we all do that. I always get scared AFTER I get pregnant and decide that a baby is a bad idea. Also IME in early pregnancy you can very often be "fine" and then something will hit you and you are a sobbing mess. With my second I once sobbed because I realized that there would never be another Star Wars movie made and I was just eating breakfast.........
It's totally normal to think twice (or multiples times) about having made a baby and whether or not it was a good idea, it's a HUGE thing.... but I don't know anyone who says that they regret one of their kids

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#4 of 12 Old 03-05-2010, 12:50 AM
 
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I have not had that feeling (yet) but this baby is the only thing in my future that I'm sure of, it didn't come easily, etc. I think this means that when I do get that feeling, it will hit me harder than most.

Most of my friends have been through it, right near the end of the first tri, the emotions are INTENSE. I cried today because they didn't have soup at the cafe I stopped into specifically to get a specific broccoli cheddar soup. I mean, if I can cry over that and have it be normal, you can totally have doubts and issues and tears.

We need to have a new normal, there's normal, and then there's pregnancy normal, and they often bear no resemblance to each other.

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
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#5 of 12 Old 03-05-2010, 09:05 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KristaDJ View Post
With my second I once sobbed because I realized that there would never be another Star Wars movie made and I was just eating breakfast.........
oh man thanks for the laugh, i needed it this morning

Mama to DD1 4/08fly-by-nursing1.gif and DD2 10/10 bfinfant.gifcd.gifcat.gif
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#6 of 12 Old 03-05-2010, 12:03 PM
 
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You are SO "normal" mama!! I was THRILLED the minute I found out I was pregnant....and then about an hour later I sobbed off and on all day about how it would impact my beautiful little DD who will be 3 in April. I cried about how she won't be the only baby any more and how she won't have ALL of our attention. I was really upset about it. Then I read a poem someone had posted about loving two children, and it really helped, and I started looking at the pregnancy as a gift to my DD instead of something she would be upset about. And she is SO excited!!!! Her face lights up when we talk about how she can help with the baby.

So what I'm saying is it's so very common to feel the ups and downs and "what did I do's!?!?!?!?"

FTMPapa....you are so right....there is normal..and there is pregnancy normal...

Tara, mama to Addison (4/07) and brokenheart.gif 03/20/10, brokenheart.gif05/27/10, and our newest addition and  rainbow1284.gifbabygirl.gif Emerson Rae (4/27/11) uc.jpg, married to John
 
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#7 of 12 Old 03-05-2010, 12:53 PM
 
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I'm in the same boat, we wanted this baby so badly, started ttc right after we got married, unfortunately my husband lost his job 2 weeks after we got married so things were rough, but I still had a great job at that point and could support us. My job was seasonal, but usually I am offered a position over winter drumming up sales for them for the next year however the former manager had come back because the new manager they hired needed more training so they basically had a mgr & asst. mgr and that bumped me down eventhough I had the highest seniority for my particular position. Soooo I went back to where I worked before my son was born & unfortunately they were only hiring through temp now, but I got on & my job was guaranteed through the end of January, I was happy when they exetended it through Feb, but didn't get so lucky & the "assignment" recently ended. Now my husband is in the hospital with mental health issues & I am a wreck, my anxiety is just horrible & I want what is best for my baby, but I've been thinking at times that the best thing might be to not bring the baby into this situation. It scares me to death, I know a lot is hormones, but I've also been off my anti anxiety meds since being pregnant sooo I got a lot to deal with. It is normal to feel like this though, its a big thing that is happening to us physically & mentally and I don't think you can ever be truly prepared for what is to come, even if it is a planned pregnancy.

Mrs. (28) Wife to the Mr. (26) Mama to K (10g) & J (5b). Expecting #3 10/10. Hoping for a HBA2C.
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#8 of 12 Old 03-05-2010, 01:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you x infinity! It's especially good knowing that it hits near the end of the first trimester which is exactly where I am.

It's so overwhelming and emotional. It was one thing to be crying over sappy commercials but to suddenly realise that after 11 years it wouldn't just be me and my husband I lost it and have been losing it about twice a day since! Fun!

Shellbell- What flower essences are you taking?

KristaDJ- OMG too funny about Star Wars! (although you never know there could be another one!)
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#9 of 12 Old 03-05-2010, 01:59 PM
 
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I PM'd you

Michelle, Happily married to first crush 4/2005, SAHM to DD 7/2006 , DS 8/2008 ,angel1.gif 4/2010, DD 3/2011, expecting DS 8/2013. 

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#10 of 12 Old 03-05-2010, 02:33 PM
 
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Pineapple Head- I must be in the pregnancy-normal stage too. We planned and plotted for years on the exact perfect time to start trying and then we get a BFP (allbeit way faster than I thought we would!) and all of a sudden I'm freaking out! WHAT HAVE WE DONE!!??? Parents? Uh...not so sure about that one. Then the next second I'm deliriously happy. It was just all hypothetical before. I kind of liked it that way. I would "plan" it all. Now, there's really a human being growing inside of me that is relying on me from now to...um...forever? YIKES!!! I just can't believe it's not hypothetical anymore.

So, I'm glad you asked your question. I don't feel so alone in this now.

Beth- WOHM slinggirl.gif  -Madly in love with my Wife- SAHMhola.gifandbabyf.gifSophia, born 11/2/10, at home! homebirth.jpgExpressing love, one ounce at a time!  1pump.gif

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#11 of 12 Old 03-05-2010, 03:49 PM
 
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I was reading on one of those pregnancy websites that a lot of women start experiencing doubts and overly-emotional fears between eight and twelve weeks and that it's entirely normal because of hormones and I was thinking "Huh, not *me*! I'm happy about this baby, I've been trying for ten years, how could I possibly doubt?"

Yeah. The very next night, the doubts and anxiety hit hard and my poor partner had to hold me while I cried about how hard this was and how if I'd known it was going to be like this I would never have done it and how I was so scared that I was changing our lives forever and being utterly stupid and selfish for ever thinking I could handle this kind of repsonsibility and... yeah.
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#12 of 12 Old 03-05-2010, 03:54 PM
 
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I'd say you were abnormal if you didn't have those feelings. It's all a part of the process.

Nik! Mama to Evelynn Rose 08/19/08 and Autumn Lily 11/02/10
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