Everything is just stressing me out :( - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 07-10-2010, 08:14 PM - Thread Starter
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As if having bouts with horrible Braxton Hicks lately isn't enough, it seems like every tiny or huge thing is just stressing me to the max!

My husband lost his license about 8 years ago when he was still a teenager, DUI & it was a felony because he was under age. He is now trying to get it back, taking the required classes, getting an eval, etc... He is doing good with it, then his dad has to butt in & tell him he's wasting his time doing all this when he can just hire a lawyer to do it all for him. Well WE don't have the upwards of $3000 that it would cost for a lawyer, we can't even afford a midwife for the birth of this baby, but his dad is willing to pay for a lawyer for him. This really pisses me off because my husband has been catered to all his life by both parents where as I have had to work for everything in my life. When he was in college his parents paid all his living expenses, rent, food, EVERYTHING! And back when he did get into trouble as a teenager of course they paid lawyers to make everything go away. It really pisses me off they aren't willing to make him work for something for once.

Then we got a dog back in December, a Chihuahua, and while I love the dog, she is a dog, but my husband treats her like a kid sometimes better than our kids. He thinks we have to take her everywhere with us even if it means that we have to go into a store & leave her out in the 90+ degree heat, he feeds her our food when we can barely afford to feed ourselves rather than making her eat her dog food, and he insists that she sleep in bed with us which causes me to get no sleep & I am afraid it will cause problems once the baby arrives with co sleeping.

Sorry for the vent, I've tried talking to my MIL because she does not approve of his dad paying for a lawyer, etc... but then she will talk to him & he just argues with me saying I don't want him to get his license back, which is the furthest thing from the truth, I hate driving & wish I didn't have to do it all, it's like having another kid you gotta drive everywhere around plus he hasn't been able to get a lot of jobs because of not having a license. If anyone has any coping suggestions please let me know, I'm about to rip my hair out!

Mrs. (28) Wife to the Mr. (26) Mama to K (10g) & J (5b). Expecting #3 10/10. Hoping for a HBA2C.
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#2 of 6 Old 07-10-2010, 10:30 PM
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I'm not sure you'll like my suggestion...

Let it go on the lawyer front. Breathe. Let it go. In the end, if you can let them baby your husband through this, it will be less stress for you because there will be two licensed drivers. And it doesn't sound like your husband has been completely without putting in hard work to get his license back - sounds like he's already taken some classes and such?

With the dog...I'd take issue with that one, especially if the dog is causing you stress. I'm the one that is home all day and therefore has majority of responsibility for the dogs - so we only have one dog now. DH was very opposed to getting rid of the one at first, but then he realized that *he* wasn't there to take care of the dog and relieve my stress (even though he offered to give the dog extra TLC when he was home, etc).

And I hear you on Braxton Hicks. I had them like crazy last time, so I don't worry about them this time. But if I went by the 4-in-an-hour guideline I would be calling my OB daily!

B, happily married to M. Mother to two boys: B (3/08) and A (9/10)
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#3 of 6 Old 07-10-2010, 10:33 PM - Thread Starter
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I'm just gonna let the lawyer thing blow past, but I'll throw it in their face when they find out we UC because we can't afford a midwife.

The dog he is so attached to because when we got her I worked full time & he was laid off, now I only work PT & it's more me taking care of her because he has classes 4 days a week. I don't mind taking care of her, but I don't want to take her EVERYWHERE, especially when we already are gonna have to deal with 3 kids when we go out places.

Mrs. (28) Wife to the Mr. (26) Mama to K (10g) & J (5b). Expecting #3 10/10. Hoping for a HBA2C.
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#4 of 6 Old 07-11-2010, 01:37 AM
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And leaving the dog in a car in 90 degree weather is not only a good way to kill the dog but also could get you in trouble with the law for animal abuse/neglect. I take my dogs "everywhere" but not out to the store or on errands. Leave the dog home for those kinds of trips, less stressful for you and her.

smartycatpartners.gif quasar.  Mommies to two boys.
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#5 of 6 Old 07-11-2010, 01:56 PM
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I totally empathize. I've got tons of stress right now, too.
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#6 of 6 Old 07-13-2010, 01:55 PM
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I empathize, too. We had a contractor who was supposed to start work on our house yesterday to put up a wall in our huge master bedroom to make it two rooms so we'd have a room for the baby (it used to be two rooms, and the old owners knocked it out). Well, he bailed on us (he let us know 2 days before he was supposed to show up that he wasn't coming, and that he wouldn't be able to come for at least another 6 weeks--but we can't have him come then, because it is right before DH has to take a huge exam and we can't have our house under construction interfering with his studying then, so now we're looking at mid September before we can get the work started, and it might take 2 weeks to complete, and lord only knows, the baby might be here by then!!!), and I've seriously spent the last 3 days crying and fuming and gnashing my teeth over the situation. DH and I got in a fight because he doesn't see why I'm making such a big deal over this, and that made me even more upset. I was counting on the room being done by the end of this month so that I could start getting furniture, baby clothes, etc. and have someplace to put them. I'm a nester 100% of the time, but pregnancy puts me in overdrive, AND apparently makes me so emotionally fragile that issues like this put me over the edge. I don't remember it being this way last time. It's really hard to just breathe and let things go--it all seems so critical. In your case, I agree with letting the lawyer thing go, but drawing the line at the dog. Dogs aren't supposed to sleep in bed with you anyway--it can cause dominance and aggression issues. How will your DH feel if the dog starts to snap at the newborn because it's in the dog's space (i.e. the bed)? I love my dogs too, but they need structure and rules in their lives just like children, or you could be asking for problems.

Mom to sweet DD 8/08, and adorable DS 10/20/10
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