An Update... - Mothering Forums
October 2010 > An Update...
chely7425's Avatar chely7425 07:31 PM 09-03-2010
We are working on getting settled at my parents so I wanted to give you guys an update. The kids are doing pretty well, they are little and have tons of attention here. I have no idea what is going on with me and hubby. We haven't really talked much, he says he needs time to think so I am trying to give him that but apparently that means not talking to the kids much and basically acting like an immature selfish jerk. I am almost embarassed at this point... for him for acting like this, and for me. For being pregnant with 2 toddlers and living back at my parents house because he bailed. I don't know.. I just want to have this baby already.

southernmommie's Avatar southernmommie 08:05 PM 09-03-2010
Lots of hugs momma. That's all I have. I have no words of wisdom for you. Sorry. I hope you two do get to work things out.
Eresh's Avatar Eresh 09:51 PM 09-03-2010
I'm so sorry. That sounds pretty rough.
CherryBomb's Avatar CherryBomb 10:09 PM 09-03-2010
I'm so sorry
mcimom's Avatar mcimom 10:44 PM 09-03-2010
sorry mama. that just stinks.

lots of prayers for you!
mistymama's Avatar mistymama 10:18 AM 09-04-2010
I'm so sorry.

I personally don't know that I would ever be able to get over someone leaving me pregnant, with two toddlers at the end of my 3rd trimester. Not calling your children - not caring that you are not seeing them and getting ready to deploy for an extended period of time .. that's just so selfish and don't feel bad if you get to the point you DO NOT want to work it out.

I know this is so hard for you right now - but in all honesty, he may be doing you a big favor in the end. You deserve so much better.

Know I'm thinking of you and wishing the best for you and your boys.
southernmommie's Avatar southernmommie 12:47 PM 09-04-2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by mistymama View Post
I'm so sorry.

I personally don't know that I would ever be able to get over someone leaving me pregnant, with two toddlers at the end of my 3rd trimester. Not calling your children - not caring that you are not seeing them and getting ready to deploy for an extended period of time .. that's just so selfish and don't feel bad if you get to the point you DO NOT want to work it out.

I know this is so hard for you right now - but in all honesty, he may be doing you a big favor in the end. You deserve so much better.

Know I'm thinking of you and wishing the best for you and your boys.
I tend to agree with this statement. However, you do what you feel it best. But this may be the best. It opens a door for a man out there that is better for you and the kids. *Lots of hugs right now*
chely7425's Avatar chely7425 12:57 PM 09-04-2010
Thanks guys... your support really means so much. I know you (Candace especially) are probably tired of hearing me talk about all this crap but I appreciate it more than you guys know. I know it is ok if I decide I don't want him back, I guess right now I am trying to just... not close that door. Give him space and take care of me and the kids. When he feels like talking we can talk... I do want to work things out for our kids and because I love the moron but it would take some BIG changes on his part for me to trust him again.
MaybeJ's Avatar MaybeJ 01:22 PM 09-04-2010
Thinking of you...I can only imagine how you must be feeling right now. I'm happy you have your family for support during this time.
mistymama's Avatar mistymama 01:42 PM 09-04-2010
I will never get tired of hearing you talk about it .. it's what you need to do to get through this.

You don't have to make any fast decisions, just take care of yourself and your boys. Know I'm thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way.
chely7425's Avatar chely7425 01:57 PM 09-04-2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by mistymama View Post
I will never get tired of hearing you talk about it .. it's what you need to do to get through this.

You don't have to make any fast decisions, just take care of yourself and your boys. Know I'm thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way.
Thank you Getting input from someone who has BTDT with a similar-ish situation has been SO great!
Green_Ma_4's Avatar Green_Ma_4 06:22 PM 09-06-2010
hugs and support mama.
BaMo's Avatar BaMo 08:40 PM 09-06-2010
I'm sorry you are going through this mama. Have you found a counselor for you? I think it would be great to have a 3rd party to bounce things off and talk about all that you are going through. Tricare will cover it.
chely7425's Avatar chely7425 09:12 PM 09-06-2010
I am going to call Monday about finding a counselor... someone who lives around here gave me the number for a place on post that only sees dependents, so I think I will call them and if that doesn't work than military 1 source or Tricare.
lunamegn's Avatar lunamegn 03:25 AM 09-07-2010
So sorry to hear that you are going through this so late into your pregnancy. Find ways to take time for yourself, take care of yourself and even pamper yourself.
belchers1's Avatar belchers1 08:49 PM 09-07-2010
Oh Rachel! I haven't been active here on MDC at all lately, and I deactivated my FB (but have since returned). I am so sorry about all of this. I will be praying that your husband will see what he's doing, and that things turn around for your family.
chely7425's Avatar chely7425 08:54 PM 09-07-2010
So, I called today and I have an appointment with a couselour type person on the 20th. The same clinic I guess also does marriage counseling so hopefully at some point DH will go with me, maybe on RnR or something. Still not sure what is going on with him... but I am trying to figure out how to be ok with whatever happens, even if it isn't what I want. I really just hope he wakes up and does the right thing.
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