freakout last night - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 09-22-2010, 01:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Is anyone else having freakouts? Last night I started crying b/c I know I've gained too much weight, I'm not nearly as attractive as I was and I just feel so gross. It didn't help I was wearing a paint stained shirt and old shorts b/c it was hot and that was the only thing that fit. Then before bed i started to freak out about labor. My chest was tight, I was crying and I was breathing too fast. It was ridiculous and took DH 15 minutes to calm me down and get me to breathe like a normal person. I have no idea what was wrong with me. I'm incredibly freaked out by labor (this is my second), but this was a bit much even for me.

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#2 of 14 Old 09-22-2010, 01:51 PM
 
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My emotionas and hormones are all over the place. I feel you on the weight thing. I've gained about 29 pounds, which isn't bad, but I was 230 to begin with It's really upsetting to me. I'm the heaviest I've ever been. I was 250 when I had dd2 and I lost over 80 pounds after she was born, I worked so hard and I've just gained it all back and it's frustrating. I know I can lose it again, but still. I feel huge anyway, and then when the have to move me to 250 on the scale to weigh me I want to cry!
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#3 of 14 Old 09-22-2010, 01:57 PM
 
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I remember last time I had a huge freakout over getting so huge and my clothes not fitting right around 36 weeks. I gained about 40 lbs with DS and it all came off easily over the next 10 months. DH finally talked me down by reminding me how my OB had commented at one of our first appointments how I'd be outgrowing my clothes by the end. It's totally normal -- getting huge and the freakout. Both totally normal

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#4 of 14 Old 09-22-2010, 02:10 PM
 
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i think i cried 3 times yesterday over things i can't even remember now. that's how i always know labor's close.

but yeah on the feeling huge and unattractive. what's awesome about having the baby is getting to watch your body shrink daily. so fascinating. that's where i try to put my mind--not the temporary condition it's in now.
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#5 of 14 Old 09-22-2010, 05:09 PM
 
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I had a pre-natal with my midwife yesterday and it was of course wonderful, she's wonderful and assured me my gain was perfectly normal (36 weeks). But after she left I lost it! I felt like a huge disappointment that the baby wasn't here yet and that she was gone and just freaked and cried. Didn't help that the kiddos thought that since she was here that the baby would be born so I got their disappointment too....
So you're not alone for freaking out. It's a regular thing for me

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#6 of 14 Old 09-22-2010, 06:34 PM
 
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Pregnancy freakouts are the worst! Recently I was trying a new crochet pattern for a winter hat and I couldn't get it to work--the hat was too big and floppy where it should have been tight. For some reason this pushed me over the edge and I sat and bawled these huge sloppy tears for maybe 10 straight minutes while DH did his best to comfort me. It was so ridiculous but I think hormones coupled with late pregnancy anxiety turn us into emotional puddles at the slightest provocation. So sorry you're going through it too, mama.

If it's any consolation at all, I think I broke a filling or tooth yesterday and when I discovered this jagged edge on one of my molars I had a full-fledged panic attack. Heart racing, nausea, wanted to crawl out of my skin or run screaming out of the front door...I haven't had one of those in years and am still not quite calmed down. Normally I'd try to shrug it off but I keep dwelling on these negative feelings and they perpetuate themselves...awful.

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#7 of 14 Old 09-22-2010, 10:22 PM
 
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Gawd yeah, freak outs! I feel like crying and losing it every day now! Bad thing is, much as I give myself permission to do it, nothing happens, so it's this under-the-surface constant aggravation!!

I put on make-up the other day for the first time this pregnancy. I just needed to feel better!! Then I didn't end up leaving the house!
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#8 of 14 Old 09-23-2010, 01:07 PM
 
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I've been driving around and crying lately. I don't even know why or what about. It just feels strangely good.

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#9 of 14 Old 09-23-2010, 01:19 PM
 
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I had a sobbing freakout this past weekend because the hinges for the closet door for the nursery (that DP lovingly and wonderfully re-painted) were old and beat up, and had old nasty paint on them, and I DID NOT WANT THEM IN HER NURSERY ON THE NICE FRESH DOOR THAT HAD JUST BEEN REPAINTED.

??!!

I totally lost it.

Poor DP.

She went and got new hinges post haste.

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#10 of 14 Old 09-23-2010, 02:08 PM
 
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Yep. Started with my doula explaining prodromal labor and telling me how bad her contractions hurt. and here I've been all Ina-Maying, Hippobirthing, Orgasmic Birthing and trying to be serene, calm and confident about it. And she comes at me with PAIN PAIN PAIN. I know she just wants me prepared so I don't run off to the hospital for an epidural with the first contraction in case all that serene stuff doesn't work out for me... And it would sound ridiculous to any normal person that I'm freaking out because my doula told me labor will *probably* be painful, and could stop and start for days. And days. and maybe even days. so just expect it.... but I lost it.

And then mean people on facebook coming at me with dead baby cards and making "how about you just go out in a field" comments... which is nothing particularly new... but I sobbed uncontrolably ALL day... and hubby had nice people over for a cookout and I should have been playing hostess but instead I was a hormonal puddle unfit for pleasant company...

But that was two weeks ago and I've been fine since.
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#11 of 14 Old 09-23-2010, 02:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by LadyJade View Post
Yep. Started with my doula explaining prodromal labor and telling me how bad her contractions hurt. and here I've been all Ina-Maying, Hippobirthing, Orgasmic Birthing and trying to be serene, calm and confident about it. And she comes at me with PAIN PAIN PAIN. I know she just wants me prepared so I don't run off to the hospital for an epidural with the first contraction in case all that serene stuff doesn't work out for me... And it would sound ridiculous to any normal person that I'm freaking out because my doula told me labor will *probably* be painful, and could stop and start for days. And days. and maybe even days. so just expect it.... but I lost it.

And then mean people on facebook coming at me with dead baby cards and making "how about you just go out in a field" comments... which is nothing particularly new... but I sobbed uncontrolably ALL day... and hubby had nice people over for a cookout and I should have been playing hostess but instead I was a hormonal puddle unfit for pleasant company...

But that was two weeks ago and I've been fine since.
Wow, mama, that was super insensitive of your doula. I'm so sorry. Did you tell her how her "warning" made you feel? How awful.

And dead baby cards? Maybe it's time to do a little Facebook culling. No mature adult should joke about that, especially not to a pregnant woman. Ugh!

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#12 of 14 Old 09-23-2010, 02:58 PM
 
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Wow, mama, that was super insensitive of your doula. I'm so sorry. Did you tell her how her "warning" made you feel? How awful.

And dead baby cards? Maybe it's time to do a little Facebook culling. No mature adult should joke about that, especially not to a pregnant woman. Ugh!
She didn't mean it that way. Hubby kept saying after - Um... she looks really young. Like REALLY young. - as in inexperienced. I don't know what to think about her... Trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. Must be frustrating to watch one of your mothers run off to the hospital for an epidural because they weren't prepared for the pain at home... I dunno.

The dead baby thing was not a joke. It was some random woman I barely know breezing onto my wall leaving a comment on my homebirth article post saying "My babies would have died had they not been in the hospital" That's it. No explanation. I left her a kind of smart aleck response and then she finally explained she went into premature labor with twins at 26 weeks. I'm like ... okay.... anyone would be in the hospital under those circumstances, I'm PRETTY sure. Because that's what hospitals are for. But they are not for me, normal, healthy, singleton. But thanks for breezing by and dropping the dead baby card on me at 32 weeks. That was really nice. No apology. Yeah, she was defriended.
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#13 of 14 Old 09-24-2010, 05:20 AM
 
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Honey, I'm so sorry! This is my 3rd baby and I've had a freak out with each pregnancy around this time (I'm 36 weeks). My baby is breech and I'm scheduled for an external cephalic version tomorrow. My DH couldn't get off work to come with me so I freaked out the other night when I realized I'll be there all alone (I asked my Mom to watch my kids) and if something were to happen and I was rushed in for an emergency c-section, I'd be alone and what if my baby was out before anyone could get there and had no one to hold him/her? I had a mild panic attack.... I realize that A. It is VERY rare for an ECV to cause enough trauma that the baby needs to be out right away and B. My DH's work is 5 minutes from the hospital I'll be at so it wouldn't take him very long to get there. However, pregnancy freak outs aren't about logic, are they? They're about emotion and hormones and SO many things we carry around every day but don't necessarily let ourselves think about or face.

You're NOT alone! And remember that you're beautiful and your body is doing the incredible task of bearing human life! You have every right to be in comfy, paint stained clothes. You will go back to normal and be able to wear your cute stuff again. And SOON! And you'll have your precious baby to hold while looking like a hot mama.

I feel better after sharing this! Maybe we should have a sticky "What I freaked out about today"!

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#14 of 14 Old 09-24-2010, 02:31 PM
 
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Oh Mamas! I am so with you in the freakout stage. The type where you think you can't *possibly* make it the next 24 hours being pregnant much less -4 weeks. Especially when a long night of insomnia awaits and everything from your once favorite/now despised materinty top, to the cracks in the plaster, seems so out of proportion. So dearies if you are up freaking at 11pm or between 1-3am EST, take comfort that another Momma with an end of October due date is with ya!
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