What If I Don't Like My Baby... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 09-26-2010, 12:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I feel horrible saying this... but what if I don't like this baby... what if with everything going on I don't like him, or bond with him, or whatever. What if I resent him... I feel so disconnected from everything lately, especially the whole being pregnant thing. I just want to get it over with. Mommy fail...

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#2 of 13 Old 09-26-2010, 02:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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#3 of 13 Old 09-26-2010, 03:40 AM
 
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Rachel

You've been through so much lately, it's not surprising your having these thoughts, and it doesn't make you a bad mama either. Are you seeing a counsellor or someone?

Our post birth hormones are amazing, so I believe you'll fall in love with your little man in no time at all. But talking these feelings over with someone now I think would be beneficial, so it's not eating you up and making you miserable.

Big hugs x

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#4 of 13 Old 09-26-2010, 04:31 AM
 
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If you don't like him, you just pretend you do. Over time, you'll love him. It really does work that way.

A few of these feelings are normal. If it's overwhelming or keeping you from sleeping, that reminds me of depression, as it affects mothers. Depression in pregnancy is a weird animal.

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#5 of 13 Old 09-26-2010, 09:17 AM
 
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I'm willing to bet hormones are going to take over, and you will be head over heels in love with him in no time at all. If not, like Apricot said, you pretend and seek help - and it will come in time.


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#6 of 13 Old 09-26-2010, 09:37 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mistymama View Post


I'm willing to bet hormones are going to take over, and you will be head over heels in love with him in no time at all. If not, like Apricot said, you pretend and seek help - and it will come in time.

Ditto!

Big hugs, mama. How are things going? Have you found a counselor yet?

Wife, mom to DS (4), DD (2) and baby heart 2.7.13

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#7 of 13 Old 09-26-2010, 12:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I found a counselor on post... my first appointment is the 1st, we will see if I like her or not. I have never really seen someone like this before so I don't really know what to expect. Other than that I have NO idea how things are going. I know I really want to work things out with hubby but... I don't know how to trust him again after this IF he decides he wants to work it out. I feel so guilty for putting the kids through this. And I can't help thinking that if I had stayed back in Louisiana he would have been forced to deal with the situation as opposed to ignoring it. But.. would that have been any better?

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#8 of 13 Old 09-26-2010, 12:51 PM
 
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I totally know what you mean, lately I feel a strong urge to spend time with my other children because I know this baby is gonna consume me & I don't want them to feel any more left out (they already do since their dad & I divorced 3years ago). My husband has called this baby a "replacement" for them at times and that really ticks me off because I don't want it to be that & I don't want to have any resentment or issues towards this baby because of that. My kids have such a hard time as it is being 50/50 with mom & dad that I feel this baby is going to get all the attention, etc... & I don't want it to be like that. I feel like I have such strong bonds with my other children that I may not bond as well with this one, not that I couldn't, but that I might kind of push it away.

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#9 of 13 Old 09-26-2010, 12:58 PM
 
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I think it's common to begin with, and especially in your circumstances. I worry about this, too. Having three girls, I've always been afraid of having a boy. I really don't like most of the little boys I'm around, they make me nervous. I felt really guilty when I miscarried my first boy, like not wanting one made it happen.
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#10 of 13 Old 09-26-2010, 01:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks guys... I think I am also worried that I will resent this baby because all this bad stuff happened while I was pregnant. Not that being pregnant caused it but it kind of feels like that sometimes, which is stupid but true.

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#11 of 13 Old 09-26-2010, 01:40 PM
 
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^^ I totally understand that.. I feel like I've been treated very poorly by some of the people closest to me since I've been pregnant.. In the first 2 trimesters I had quite a few days where I blamed the ill treatment on the pregnancy.. but as time has progressed somehow it has changed and now I feel like this baby is the only person in the world who hasn't disappointed me.. I feel like once the baby is born I will have a really hard time not ignoring everyone else and choosing to give all of my love and attention to the baby.. I don't have other children so I won't have the guilt that might bring but maybe this new life will give you something else to focus on when so much of everything else may seem out of your control

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#12 of 13 Old 09-26-2010, 04:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am also really worried about nursing this kid... I have NEVER liked nursing, I did it till both my older kids weaned around 9 months (probably due to me being pregnant) but I HATE it. Like... it makes me want to crawl out of my own skin. I will do it for at least 6 months but the thought of having to do it one more time is so not working for me right now. I just sound horrible all around these days... I swear I am really not a bad mom!

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
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#13 of 13 Old 09-27-2010, 08:25 AM
 
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nursing made me wanna scratch my own skin off, literally made my skin crawl and felt all icky but yeah i persisted until DS was 6 months, and i'll try to do it for a year this time as it's what's best 'n all... physically it felt awful but the little happy baby afterwards who was packing on weight the way nature intended mentally felt really good.

just keep talking, being honest and seeking out support, don't be hard on yourself or force things, ur not a bad mama ur just having a bad time, it will pass things will get better x

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