How are your other kid doing? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 13 Old 10-06-2010, 01:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
chely7425's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Washington
Posts: 3,649
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 2 year old is still acting pretty much the same... My 16 month old is a whole different story... He has never been big on sleeping with us, he likes his own space and all that. The past couple nights he has refused to sleep except cuddled right up on me! I'm sure he can sense that somethings changing soon... But I can't say I'm a huge fan!!

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
chely7425 is offline  
#2 of 13 Old 10-06-2010, 08:36 AM
 
rparker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: deliberately offline
Posts: 752
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 35 month old has been on a "I'm a little baby" kick for months now. Everything with her has, uh, escalated in the past week or so though. Her daytime behavior is absolutely awful and usually she's a pretty easy kid. She was also pretty much night weaned and sleeping most of the night in her own bed and now she comes into my bed by 3 a.m. and attempts to initiate non-stop nursing sessions.

I've been trying really hard to NOT make a big deal out of the new baby, but she's still insecure. I'm hoping that it will settle down and be easier for her to deal with once the baby is here and no longer and an abstract concept? My (neurotic, tiny) dogs have also been acting funny for the past few days fwiw...

daughter #1 10/13/07
daughter #2 10/08/10
rparker is offline  
#3 of 13 Old 10-06-2010, 09:17 AM
 
CherryBomb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Indiana
Posts: 8,143
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
My 9 year old is getting tired of waiting! My 5 year old doesn't seem to care, but she's disabled so I don't really know how much she understands. She talks about the baby in my tummy and asks questions (like what kind of clothes he's wearing ) but I don't think she considers things like how it will change our family or anything like that. My 2.5 year old is really excited and LOVES babies, but she's also insistent most of the time that she's still a baby. She loves the idea of having a baby brother, but I don't know if she'll like it once he's actually here!
CherryBomb is offline  
#4 of 13 Old 10-06-2010, 10:59 AM
 
sheashea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 238
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 26 month old is generally excited for the baby to arrive. He pats my tummy and says, "baby come out" or "Neave born" (We refer to our baby by name as Neave. Hope that ultra-sound got the sex right ) He's excited to see pumpkins for sale because we've told him the baby will be born at pumpkin time.

There are a couple of 1-year-olds at his daycare and he definitely thinks of himself as a big boy, not a baby. He is very interested in babies and met a newborn last weekend. He just stared and stared.

BUT, last week, one of the youngest kids at daycare had a bad day due to teething pain. The same day, another younger child bit him. He came home that day and told me, "No baby. Babies cry. I don't like it." We read the "I'm a Big Brother" book that evening and he seems to have forgotten it. At least he's prepared for the reality that babies sometimes do cry.
sheashea is offline  
#5 of 13 Old 10-06-2010, 12:34 PM
 
kJad29's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Fairfax, VA
Posts: 1,015
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yeah, my 21 month old knows something is up. Whenever we start talking about the baby he says "No..." and shakes his head. It's like he doesn't want to have a little brother. I've been preparing him for the baby by telling him that Bitbit (our nickname for the baby) is going to need milkies all the time and will need a lot of attention, but that I'll make sure to give him lots of hugs and kisses and attention too. I think he gets it because he's so much more cuddly that usual and we still bedshare with him. He wants to sleep right up under me like every night and I know that this isn't going to fly when the baby comes. We even got a crib and made it into a sidecar for him, but he still would come out of it to cuddle with me. So I decided to put the baby in the crib next to me and keep my toddler in the middle of the bed between my husband and I so that it's safe for the baby. I sure hope he is okay after Bitbit comes out.

Kemi wifedreads.gif to Jeffdh_malesling.GIF mommy to Rohan h20homebirth.gifROTFLMAO.gif 1/3/09 and Narenhomebirth.jpg(transfer to hospital) blahblah.gif  10/22/10. Pregnant with stork-girl.gif

****5****10****15****20****25****30****353rdtri.gif***40 (Hospital BC w/CNMs due to GD)

kJad29 is offline  
#6 of 13 Old 10-06-2010, 02:40 PM
 
Annemarie42's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 241
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 8.5 yo is very emotional and also getting impatient. "Will you have the baby TONIGHT?" My 6 yo is having a hard time-- someone asked if he wanted a boy or a girl and he thought a minute and then said, "nothing." He looks longingly at the baby things and talks about how "I wish I could sit in that carseat." He is having some mild behavior issues that I think are adjustment related. All in all, things are okay, but everyone is geared up for change.

Anne-Marie
expecting #3 October 26, 2010
Annemarie42 is offline  
#7 of 13 Old 10-06-2010, 03:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
chely7425's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Washington
Posts: 3,649
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It seems like everyone elses 2.5 year olds get what is going on a lot more than mine seems to... or maybe he just isn't fussed about it since he already has a little brother?

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
chely7425 is offline  
#8 of 13 Old 10-06-2010, 03:44 PM
 
quelindo's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: On the road to find out
Posts: 3,129
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My five-year old has been my only and the baby for his whole life, and he's been saying that he doesn't want the baby, babies are dumb, he hates babies. Occasionally he'll shout at my belly, "Go away baby!" He's been having more accidents lately and has been like velcro to me at night (which is not really that new, but it seems like more than usual). I'm a little worried about how he's going to be after the baby is here, but then again maybe once he sees that the baby doesn't really *do* anything at first he'll come around. He's old enough to know that things are going to change, big-time, but not old enough (or around babies enough) to really know what that change means.

ETA: Oops! DDC! Sorry.

Formerly New Mama to Henry, born August 2005 and Silas, born November 2010.
quelindo is offline  
#9 of 13 Old 10-06-2010, 03:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
chely7425's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Washington
Posts: 3,649
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Don't worry about crashing

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
chely7425 is offline  
#10 of 13 Old 10-06-2010, 07:43 PM
 
seekingtruth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 316
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just went to our ped today bc my 6 yo's behavior has been HORRID for the past few weeks- a ton of anger/frustration and self-hurting physical behavior. The ped thinks it's completely related to the impending baby, and though I can't fathom that, I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
Both my kids (6 yo ds and nearly 3 yo dd) are so excited about the baby and only have expressed positive feelings for it! But maybe there's something subconscious about it.

edd 10/10/10
seekingtruth is offline  
#11 of 13 Old 10-06-2010, 08:07 PM
 
lach's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: MA
Posts: 2,042
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 19mo doesn't really seem to notice that anything is up.

My 3yo pretty much understands what's about to happen. Oh wait, did I say 3yo? I meant 3 MONTH old. Because she assures me that's what she is. And thus must be carried everywhere, fed with a baby spoon, only crawls, talks baby talk, and so forth.

I'm trying to be compassionate. But the tantrums when I can't carry her everywhere are getting real old real fast.

Trying to live a simple life in a messy house in a complicated world with : DH, DD (b. 07/07), DS (b. 02/09), and DD (b. 10/10)
lach is offline  
#12 of 13 Old 10-06-2010, 09:27 PM
 
mojobot2000's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 113
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 20-month-old is hard to gauge. Because she's SO verbal, it seems like she understands everything. She knows she's having a "brover," knows his name, talks about the baby in mommy's tummy, says, "Baby come out!" etc. But I know she can't really *get* that a new little person is coming to live with us...permanently. In fact, it's usually, "Baby come out, read a book," or, "Baby come out, go for a walk," and she doesn't seem to process when I tell her that at first Baby won't be able to do anything but cry, drink milk, sleep, and pee and poop.

My milk dried up in my 2nd trimester so she hasn't nursed for about 5 months, and after the first week or so she seemed to forget about it. But recently I told her that Baby will drink milk from mommy's boobies just like she used to--and now she talks about this all the time, so I anticipate that she may want to nurse again once she sees him doing it.

Overall, her behavior has definitely been more difficult in the past few weeks, as Baby's imminent arrival becomes more apparent--but it's also mostly age-appropriate temper-temper kind of stuff, so it's hard to tell what's going on. She's gotten suddenly particular about who performs various care-taking tasks--and usually it MUST be mommy--so she gets upset when it's daddy's turn to read the bedtime story, or if daddy is sitting next to her at dinner, etc. Whether or not this is because the baby's coming, or just normal developmental stuff, it will certainly be a challenge once the new baby is here taking up so much of mommy. Sigh.
mojobot2000 is offline  
#13 of 13 Old 10-06-2010, 09:49 PM
 
lach's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: MA
Posts: 2,042
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mojobot2000 View Post
My 20-month-old is hard to gauge. Because she's SO verbal, it seems like she understands everything. She knows she's having a "brover," knows his name, talks about the baby in mommy's tummy, says, "Baby come out!" etc. But I know she can't really *get* that a new little person is coming to live with us...permanently. In fact, it's usually, "Baby come out, read a book," or, "Baby come out, go for a walk," and she doesn't seem to process when I tell her that at first Baby won't be able to do anything but cry, drink milk, sleep, and pee and poop.

My milk dried up in my 2nd trimester so she hasn't nursed for about 5 months, and after the first week or so she seemed to forget about it. But recently I told her that Baby will drink milk from mommy's boobies just like she used to--and now she talks about this all the time, so I anticipate that she may want to nurse again once she sees him doing it.

Overall, her behavior has definitely been more difficult in the past few weeks, as Baby's imminent arrival becomes more apparent--but it's also mostly age-appropriate temper-temper kind of stuff, so it's hard to tell what's going on. She's gotten suddenly particular about who performs various care-taking tasks--and usually it MUST be mommy--so she gets upset when it's daddy's turn to read the bedtime story, or if daddy is sitting next to her at dinner, etc. Whether or not this is because the baby's coming, or just normal developmental stuff, it will certainly be a challenge once the new baby is here taking up so much of mommy. Sigh.
There is 19 months between my daughter and my son, and what you just wrote described my daughter PERFECTLY in the few weeks before DS was born.

In retrospect, she really didn't understand what was happening. She only understood that things were changing. But she didn't really understand what was changing. And toddlers that age HATE change. And I think that what ended up happening was so much better than any sort of Worst Case Scenario that her little brain could come up with that she was totally fine. Sure there were moments, but she really just snapped back to her former self within a few days of me coming home from the hospital.

It was so obvious, in fact, that even my mother's friend, who met DD exactly twice, remarked on it. My mother came and stayed to take care of me and the kids. Her friend, who lives locally to me, came over about a week before DS was born, and again about a week or two after. She told my mother (who then passed it along to me, of course), that my DD was a completely different child the second time. And that the first time she came over she had been really worried about how I was going to handle such a high needs toddler AND a newborn, but the second time it was obvious that DD was a really happy and mellow kid and she must have just been so stressed in the period leading up to DS's birth that she was going wild. I thought that was a pretty perceptive description of the situation.

So good luck! If you want some unsolicited advice, the only book about having a baby that I found helpful for DD at that age was "I'm a Big Sister Now." (There's an "I'm a Big Brother Now" version too). It doesn't get a whole lot of MDC-love because it features bottle feeding... but it was the ONLY book that I thought helped explain babies and DD's continued role in the family in an age appropriate way. Most books for older siblings seemed to be for MUCH older siblings... she's 3 now and I don't think she even understands the issues in a lot of them. Many, for some bizarre reason, also tend not to be particularly accurate, with the babies apparently coming out already crawling or something like that. It's just very simple with no real plot and told in the first person and says things like "Sometimes babies cry" and suggests simple ways the child can help (but "I must ask Mommy first") and reassures the child that Mommy and Daddy still love her, and that she's special in a new way because now she's also a big sister. My daughter LOVED this book and I had to read it 20 times a day and she slept with it every night for months.

Trying to live a simple life in a messy house in a complicated world with : DH, DD (b. 07/07), DS (b. 02/09), and DD (b. 10/10)
lach is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off