All the things I forgot or didn't know about postpartum/the newborn phase... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 25 Old 10-16-2010, 08:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thought we could all share these things for anyone who hasn't joined the postpartum club yet!

-The after pains get worse with each subsequent child. With my first, they were annoying and I felt them every time my baby nursed. With my second, I immediately asked for painkillers and something to vomit in! (And I had no pain meds and didn't throw up during labor! It was crazy!). And I felt them randomly and found myself moaning through them like labor contractions! No one warned me about this getting worse!!

-Lochia is so unpredictable. I forgot just how unpredictable. At 16 days postpartum I don't know from day to day if I will be able to wear the same pantyliner all day or if I'll need a few. I seem to be done with blood, but still sometimes have a gob of mucous.

-Being able to hold more than a tablespoon of urine in my bladder is fabulous. And being able to pee in a stream rather than a trickle. Ahhhhhhh....

-It is really difficult for me to get comfortable nursing a newborn. Is this just me? I require almost as many pillows to nurse Anders as I required to sleep when I was pregnant with him. Oh - and my toddler currently has a thing for pillows, so they are never where I need them!!

-newborns are capable of producing impressive amounts of spit-up without it actually being more than a laundry problem. Anders spits up after almost every feeding, and usually multiple times. He goes through at least 4 or 5 sleepers a day and I often go through a couple shirts. Plus burp cloths. DS1 was not a spitter! This has been all new to us!

-I forgot that newborns' poops and farts are totally indistinguishable to the ear and that, though they startle, newborns can sleep through the loudest of these!

B, happily married to M. Mother to two boys: B (3/08) and A (9/10)
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#2 of 25 Old 10-16-2010, 09:10 PM
 
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Looking forward to being back in this club.
I heard this pregnancy that drinking RRL tea during early labor, and then after delivery, can help with afterpains. I have no idea if this will actually help (I remember how unpleasant they were after baby #2)-- but I plan to try and report back.

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expecting #3 October 26, 2010
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#3 of 25 Old 10-16-2010, 09:12 PM
 
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That first post partum bowel movement is like a second birth!
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#4 of 25 Old 10-16-2010, 10:37 PM
 
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That first post partum bowel movement is like a second birth!


I was actually too scared to go for about 2 days after Dylan was born, until I had at least 6 Colace inside me to smooth the way, lol.

Also, I was SO looking forward to being able to sleep on my stomach again - my favourite position - after 6 months of not being able to. But now? My breasts are so full of milk most of the time that I STILL can't enjoy this position. Argh!

Oh, and I second the being able to pee in a stream thing - it's the simple things in life, isn't it?

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#5 of 25 Old 10-16-2010, 11:29 PM
 
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Oh man, I didn't go for 6 or 7 days after my vba2c! And it seriously took like half an hour or more. It was horrible! (and I had been on stool softener since the day after birth!) This time was 4 days and not nearly so bad, but still, phew!

And I hear you about the tummy sleeping. Between the engorgement and the c/s incision, it's going to be awhile
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#6 of 25 Old 10-17-2010, 12:13 AM
 
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You know, I remember being REALLY scared of the first post-partum poop, and then everything came out just fine .

Me+DH+DS1+DS2+Dog=me and a house full of guys, which is really just peachy, thanks.
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#7 of 25 Old 10-17-2010, 12:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Annemarie42 View Post
Looking forward to being back in this club.
I heard this pregnancy that drinking RRL tea during early labor, and then after delivery, can help with afterpains. I have no idea if this will actually help (I remember how unpleasant they were after baby #2)-- but I plan to try and report back.
I wish I'd had warning - I would have tried anything! Mine were bugging me so much that one nurse wondered if my uterus was working out a clot (never did pass any clots bigger than a pea, though).

B, happily married to M. Mother to two boys: B (3/08) and A (9/10)
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#8 of 25 Old 10-17-2010, 04:53 AM
 
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That nothing is cuter than waking up and seeing a tiny newborn head poking out of the covers on daddy's chest .

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#9 of 25 Old 10-17-2010, 08:29 AM
 
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That last one made me smile!!!
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#10 of 25 Old 10-17-2010, 08:34 AM
 
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If you have older kids and/or are around their friends you need to be prepared to mediate the "Can I hold him/her now?" competition all.day.long.


WOHM married to SAHD, living the dream w/our: 3 girls (14,12,10) and 3 boys (7,5,3) and tie-breaker due Jan 2014

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#11 of 25 Old 10-17-2010, 10:54 AM
 
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Call me naive, but I didn't really know much about post partum blues and then I was hit with a nasty case that made the first 2 weeks as a new mother interesting...and oh, the guilt I felt!

And the thing about newborn poops and farts being indistinguishable...totally!

And another poop related thing and without going into detail or TMI territory, my first post partum bowel movement was the best bowel movement I had in a long time! No trauma there.
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#12 of 25 Old 10-17-2010, 11:15 AM
 
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I'm on day 4 pp now, have a CRAPLOAD of colace in me, and haven't pooed yet. I tore all the way to my anus, so I am afraid. Very, very afraid.

Speaking of newborn farts, does anyone know why they smell so bad? My little guy is a farting machine! It would be funny except every single one smells like teenaged-boy-worthy diarrhea. He must have something scary coming down the pipe as well.

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#13 of 25 Old 10-17-2010, 11:32 AM
 
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During the first few days, I thought Naomi's farts were smelly or that she was constantly pooping...turns out it was her umbilical stump that stunk! Once that fell off, she hasn't really smelled like anything. Obviously this might not be the case for you, though!

I hope your first BM will be non noteworthy!
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#14 of 25 Old 10-17-2010, 12:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm on day 4 pp now, have a CRAPLOAD of colace in me, and haven't pooed yet. I tore all the way to my anus, so I am afraid. Very, very afraid.

Speaking of newborn farts, does anyone know why they smell so bad? My little guy is a farting machine! It would be funny except every single one smells like teenaged-boy-worthy diarrhea. He must have something scary coming down the pipe as well.
Your poop will be ok! When you go, it'll just come out with hardly any effort because of all that colace! The first poop is scary, but usually not as bad as you think it's going to be. Coughing and sneezing are, IME, way worse!!

B, happily married to M. Mother to two boys: B (3/08) and A (9/10)
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#15 of 25 Old 10-17-2010, 12:28 PM
 
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I am scared of pooping too... Havent yet, just been taking the colace and made sure to get the ok to not start the iron supplements just yet!!

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
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#16 of 25 Old 10-17-2010, 01:11 PM
 
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-Pooping wasn't a big deal this time, but I only had a tiny tear and no stitches. It was really traumatic after baby #1 though and that time I only had a few stitches. (No stool softeners either time.)

-I drank a ton of RRL tea throughout the last 2 trimesters and up to about 12 hours before my water broke (way more than I drank last time). It definitely made a difference with contractions while in labor, but the after pains totally sucked this time... they weren't excruciating, but they were way worse than active labor. Drinking some of the bagged RRL tea in the hospital seemed to help with them a little though. I haven't gone back to drinking it yet at 9 days pp (although I have some made) but the afterpains have been gone for almost a week now.

-Depends are freaking awesome...

-I wasn't prepared for the hormonal newborn love fest which has actually made me feel pretty guilty/conflicted re: my 3 year old.

daughter #1 10/13/07
daughter #2 10/08/10
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#17 of 25 Old 10-17-2010, 02:45 PM
 
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During the first few days, I thought Naomi's farts were smelly or that she was constantly pooping...turns out it was her umbilical stump that stunk!
OMG that stink! I had noooo idea that her little stink button would smell so bad.

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#18 of 25 Old 10-17-2010, 11:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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As of tonight I have another.

I had no idea that a linea negra could appear postpartum! I had a really pale one with DS1, and DH and I commented before DS2 was born that I didn't have one.

As of tonight, I have one. Weird!

B, happily married to M. Mother to two boys: B (3/08) and A (9/10)
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#19 of 25 Old 10-17-2010, 11:57 PM
 
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Update: We both pooped today!
As for mine, all I can say is yeeeeouch. I had a really hard time unclenching enough to let anything out! It did give my posterior-most stitches a bit of a yank and I bled some, but it went okay. The shower I took afterward was nice.

As for ds, whoa nelly! He had been saving that up for almost two days and made the funniest faces while pushing it all out. He's had two great naps since The Explosion, so I'd say today was a resounding success all around!

Now to add to this thread, I had no idea I'd actually love my postpartum belly. It may not look like what I had before, but it's soft and fits easily into smaller pants, plus it's been shrinking by the hour (and is fun to poke!). It's such a relief not to be so stretched out anymore. My stretchmarks are already fading fast, too.

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#20 of 25 Old 10-18-2010, 10:30 AM
 
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Yay for poop!

I love the boobie pillow, when they pull off after nursing and sleep on the boob, it's so cute and I love all the little newborn faces and noises. I forgot how much I love newborns
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#21 of 25 Old 10-18-2010, 04:31 PM
 
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I have cried every single day since delivering my daughter. I have guilt--returning to work NEXT WEEK as a PT lecturer and grading from home--and lots of fear, e.g., SIDS, as a friend of a friend recently lost a child. I swear I cry at the drop of a hat. I am also incredibly territorial. Both sides of both mine and DH's family live in this area, so we have roughly 100 people wanting to stop by all the time. Because she is only 10 days old, and I am due back at work in a week, I wonder why they all get offended when I post my status update as, "Sorry, we aren't accepting visitors right now." Then I feel guilt about this, too. Argh. When people do visit--this is the first grandchild for both sides--I sit there and get pissed off that they are holding my baby and not me. I'm jealous of the breast pumped milk fed to her via bottle that I have to use to supplement my 2-3 hours away from her every day when I return to work. It is so crazy and irrational. Please tell me that it will get better. I can't wait until this feeling passes.

I'm a professor and a domestic goddess married to my ideal mate. We are living in bliss with our new baby girl, Rowan Graham, born October 8, 2010.
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#22 of 25 Old 10-18-2010, 08:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Update: We both pooped today!


Now to add to this thread, I had no idea I'd actually love my postpartum belly. It may not look like what I had before, but it's soft and fits easily into smaller pants, plus it's been shrinking by the hour (and is fun to poke!). It's such a relief not to be so stretched out anymore. My stretchmarks are already fading fast, too.
I love my postpartum belly, too! I always thought I was the only one! I think it feels SO COOL, and I love looking in the mirror and remembering what my body did not that long ago!

B, happily married to M. Mother to two boys: B (3/08) and A (9/10)
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#23 of 25 Old 10-18-2010, 08:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have cried every single day since delivering my daughter. I have guilt--returning to work NEXT WEEK as a PT lecturer and grading from home--and lots of fear, e.g., SIDS, as a friend of a friend recently lost a child. I swear I cry at the drop of a hat. I am also incredibly territorial. Both sides of both mine and DH's family live in this area, so we have roughly 100 people wanting to stop by all the time. Because she is only 10 days old, and I am due back at work in a week, I wonder why they all get offended when I post my status update as, "Sorry, we aren't accepting visitors right now." Then I feel guilt about this, too. Argh. When people do visit--this is the first grandchild for both sides--I sit there and get pissed off that they are holding my baby and not me. I'm jealous of the breast pumped milk fed to her via bottle that I have to use to supplement my 2-3 hours away from her every day when I return to work. It is so crazy and irrational. Please tell me that it will get better. I can't wait until this feeling passes.
It will get better, but I still have some "let me parent my child" moments with DS1 and he's 2.5. I'm a lot more relaxed with #2, but I'm VERY much a "hold my baby if you're helping, otherwise leave him the hell alone" kind of mom. My older son was more like that than I was at first! He would get mad when anyone but me held the baby!

FWIW, I feel so strongly that newborns belong with their mothers that I don't even like holding other people's newborns. I never ask because it feels totally WRONG to me!

Tell them there will be PLENTY of time to hold your daughter, and that she'll be a TON more fun later. Right now you're colonizing her with your household's germs and keeping her all to yourself because that's your RIGHT as her MOTHER!

B, happily married to M. Mother to two boys: B (3/08) and A (9/10)
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#24 of 25 Old 10-19-2010, 01:35 AM
 
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I was not expecting this much severe cramping 10 days after giving birth. It hits randomly and a couple days ago was like early labor without a break in between. It's unpredictable and has about knocked me on my butt a few times. OB says it's normal, I've been taking pain meds.

I was prepared for tearing again--I tore with Madi. I was NOT prepared to tear forwards and my labia around my clitoris. Oh, the pain. Kegels are helping, but I'm afraid it will never be the same.

Kate (30), mama to Madi (4/18/08) and Jacob Douglas (10/8/10)
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#25 of 25 Old 10-20-2010, 01:01 PM
 
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I'm really glad my tear has healed up and pooping is no longer an event. I had terrible gas though - must have been my intestines relocating.
Can't wait to begin exercising and doing abs again. I'd like to wear my jeans without the bella band!

The best has been shopping for little girl clothes when I can find some that aren't pink! we had a delivery surprise and a ds so girl clothes are a whole new fun world for us.

Married 16 yrs to DH, DS (3/06) x4 (11/04) (3/08) (3/09) (8/09)
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