pp sex/poor DH - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 11-09-2010, 01:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Last night we had sex for the first time since I had DD (5 weeks). It was...ok. Nothing hurt and I had really really wanted to dtd so taht wasn't an issue. My orgasm was meh which had me really freaked out. They're usually much better than meh so now I'm convinced I'm broken. Plus I spent 30 minutes after bawling like a baby. I apologized to DH for being broken, for being fat, for being stretched out and just being a hormonal mess. Now poor DH is completely freaked out that every time we have sex I'm going to cry afterward. I don't even know what was wrong, I was just so upset. Has anyone else gone through this? This did not happen with our first so I'm worried.

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#2 of 12 Old 11-09-2010, 04:38 AM
 
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I haven't been there yet but I'm sure it won't keep happening. Have you been more emotional overall fallowing this birth? Are you feeling differently about your body?

I have wanted to have sex for a little while now. I was mentally geared up to do it this past weekend but it didn't happen. I cry almost every other day as it is so I'm sure I'll be a wreck if things don't go "perfectly". We only had sex 3 times during my pregnancy so I feel out of practice and undesirable. Gah.

Sorry for the derail...but I do hope next time is better for you and I'm sure it will be.
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#3 of 12 Old 11-09-2010, 05:29 AM
 
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i havent dtd yet, and imagine i will be waiting a very long time, but during pregnancy i cried after sex all the time, well it started as laughing then i'd cry-laugh really hard for 5 mins. totally weird and uncontrollable. just the rush of hormones adding to my already hormonally pumped up body. i'm pretty sure that it won't keep happening, i'd put money on it being pp hormones surging when you reached O, plus it's pretty over whelming getting used to a pp body and realising that sex is going to be different emotionally for a while, like for me it'll be like using the body of a stranger to dtd as mine feels totally alien to me right now, all squooshy and jiggly

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#4 of 12 Old 11-10-2010, 04:59 AM
 
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I think it's normal and it should stop hug2.gif

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#5 of 12 Old 11-10-2010, 05:33 AM
 
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DDCC-I agree with Cherrybomb.  After my last pregancy my husband and I dtd around 5 weeks.  I must say there were no fireworks (and I'm usually a fireworks gal.)  However, the second time was better and it progressively got better.  Your body has been through a lot of changes for 9 months.  It may just take a little time to get back into the swing of things.


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#6 of 12 Old 11-10-2010, 08:10 AM
 
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It will get better. I think it took at least a couple of months to feel pretty normal and about 6 months to be totally back in form, both physically and mentally after my ds was born. Your pelvic floor is likely a bit stretched out, which can take some of the intensity out of the big o, but just like your abdominals, it will tone up again and sex can be even better. Personlly I have more stamina for long sessions than before I had a baby. Postnatal yoga can help with toning or just plain old kegals.
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#7 of 12 Old 11-10-2010, 10:11 AM
 
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I am so ready to DTD, and am kind of dreading things going "wrong." But at the same time, I think this sort of thing is normal to go through at first, and we'll all be able to move past it eventually.


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#8 of 12 Old 11-10-2010, 11:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone!  I feel so much better now.  This didn't happen with my first and I was completely freaking out.  Hopefully I can convince DH to give it another try this week and I won't be a mess afterward.


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#9 of 12 Old 11-15-2010, 11:52 PM
 
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We waited about 6 weeks to DTD and it was good, but not great.  I am usually a "fireworks" kinda gal too.  But hubby really enjoyed it so it worked out.  It is getting better for me now.  My problem was I had a c-section and I felt like a virgin again or something.  I was like "wait, slow down there buddy."

 

Don't worry.  It takes a little bit for the hormones to settle and for your body to get back into the swing of things

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#10 of 12 Old 11-20-2010, 12:11 PM
 
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My baby is 6 weeks and I am not ready to DTD yet. I am impressed (and a little jealous!) that you girls are already back in the game!  I think it is normal to feel emotional DTD after giving birth and it is okay to honor those feelings.

 

After DS was born it took me almost a full year before I felt normal and comfortable with sex again. We DTD during that year but I have to admit that it was primarily for DH's benefit. If it were up to me I would have just taken a bath and gone to bed early. Not to say that I am not attracted to DH or that it isn't important, I just felt like my focus had shifted so far away from my own sexuality. I am working hard to not allow that to happen again this time, but I also want to be honest with myself and at least acknowledge how I feel (or don't feel).

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#11 of 12 Old 11-21-2010, 02:37 AM
 
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I thought this article was interesting on the subject was interesting. 

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/68718/breastfeeding_and_low_sex_drive.html?cat=5

 

My sex drive came back even with breast feeding.  I nursed for a really long time so it was bound to.  But anyways.  Have fun with each other.  If you stress about not enjoying sex it will become a self fulfilling prophesy.  When this was an issue for me my husband told me that "All sex does not have to lead to intercourse."  He got the hubbie of the year award for that one.

 

They talk so much about skin time with the babies.  Skin time with your partner can work wonders also.

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#12 of 12 Old 11-21-2010, 09:25 PM
 
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