Who else has a high-need baby? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 11-18-2010, 03:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It's sooo tiring and....just hard. He is just so unhappy most of the time, and I struggle to figure out what he needs. I know he's getting over-tired and over-stimulated but he seems to fight sleep badly. I have spent the last 3 hours trying to get him sleep. Then I find myself resenting him from taking away so much of my time to spend with DD greensad.gif

She was such an easy going baby, and it feels like none of my tricks work with this one. Just wish I could figure him out.


Mama to DD Feb '08 (9lbs), DS Oct '10 (10lbs) hbac.gif, DD Jan '13 hbac.gif

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#2 of 12 Old 11-18-2010, 03:50 PM
 
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No advice, just hugs here.  We seem to be going through the same thing.  Naomi just seems so unhappy most days.  It's tiring and hard not to feel like I'm doing everything wrong since she just seems so unhappy.  My husband has her strapped to his chest right now but I know that as soon as he takes her out of the carrier we will be back to square one for a couple hours.  I should be taking this time to make dinner....

 

I do keep hoping this is a phase that will pass, and I hope that is true for you too, Melly!  (and of course it will pass...it's just that knowing that is sometimes not enough in the moment)

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#3 of 12 Old 11-18-2010, 04:00 PM
 
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I forgot to add that our issue also seems to be Naomi being overtired and overstimulated and fighting sleep....

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#4 of 12 Old 11-19-2010, 05:27 AM
 
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I'm with you, mama!  None of my others were such fussy babies, it's hard to deal with!  It seems like all he does is cry and sleep :(  

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#5 of 12 Old 11-19-2010, 01:38 PM
 
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I hear you all. It's been getting really bad lately and DS is acting out so much b.c mom is pretty much ignoring him. I hate resenting her and the "what the hell were we thinking" thoughts. I think Ingrid's unhappiness is mostly gas and some nasal drainage from a cold she has. It is worse at night, funny how happy she can be in the morning and then bam.....screaming fits. this will get better, this will get better

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#6 of 12 Old 11-20-2010, 07:05 AM
 
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grouphug.gif I had a couple of really tough weeks with Dylan at around the 5-6 week mark, too (I'm assuming this is where most of you are at right now - Dylan was 3 weeks early so he's now at 8.5 weeks). It's a major growth spurt period - perhaps this explains at least in part the challenges you all are facing? Just in the last week or so, Dylan has really chilled out - he still has minor meltdowns, but nothing on the scale of a few weeks ago. He's also cracking smiles left right and center - deliberate, responsive smiles (not just random ones that may or may not be related to anything you're doing or saying to him!). They change so fast at this age. I hope that you all see gradual improvements over the next couple of weeks too, and am sending 'chill baby' vibes in your direction(s)!


Catherine, DH and DS kid.gif Dylan Michael, born 9/23/10 
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#7 of 12 Old 11-20-2010, 07:21 AM
 
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Well Naomi is 8 weeks old so I think this is more a lasting issue for me.  She does much better on the days where she has proper naps.  But on the days where she refuses to nap, all I can do is try to keep her happy.  Rock, bounce, soother, repeat.  Throw in a swaddle every now and then.

 

My inlaws are visiting this weekend so I see a nice nap for me in the near future!  If I can actually relax enough for a nap.  I'm no better at napping than Naomi is. :)

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#8 of 12 Old 11-20-2010, 10:31 AM
 
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Sleep seems to be a big factor for Finn, too.  The last two nights he's slept for 5 hours straight, nursed, and slept for another 4 hours and it's made a HUGE difference in his daytime fussiness.

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#9 of 12 Old 11-20-2010, 08:24 PM
 
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We are at the 6 week mark and I'm hoping that is it. We are trying gas drops every 3 hours to prevent gas build up. I really don't want to get into the limiting what I eat b.c I don't see any correlation between her screaming and what i've ate. I don't drink a lot of dairy anyways, maybe one glass a day and some in cereal. I went two days with no coffee and all i got was a screaming baby and barely able to stay awake mom. (yeah screw not having coffee, it's mandatory when the kids don't nap at the same time so I can't nap....arrrrrg). I'm hoping this is a blip in her digestive system while she is going through this growth spurt.

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#10 of 12 Old 11-21-2010, 06:50 AM
 
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DS1 was my high-needs dude.  It was all I knew, and I'm only realizing with DS2 how hard my first baby was! 

 

I wore him constantly.  The Ergo was great because I could force him to turn off stimulation by putting up the sleeping hood and he would finally sleep.  We continued to use that thing to get him to sleep every night until he was almost 2 years old.  After he'd be asleep, I WOULD NOT get him out of the Ergo.  He would just wake up and still be exhausted.

 

I wore him and/or was touching him probably 23 hours a day almost every day until he could sit up. 

 

If it helps, DS1 is now 2.5 and he's still high needs (I'm told by numerous friends who say he reminds them of their children that I need to read Raising Your Spirited Child - again, he's all I know, so I never realized he was more spirited than the average!), but he's the most perceptive and sweet little boy!


B, happily married to M. Mother to two boys: B (3/08) and A (9/10)
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#11 of 12 Old 11-21-2010, 05:39 PM
 
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my now 2 1/2 y.o. (4th son) has always been high needs so i feel for you. his first few months were incredibly hard because none of my parenting methods and strategies worked for him, and honestly, they still don't. he never slept and i too wore him in an ergo almost 24/7 his entire first year. if it's any consolation, ime, high needs kids are extremely brilliant.

 

anyway, i can totally commiserate.

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#12 of 12 Old 11-21-2010, 06:42 PM
 
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This is us too.  My son is 6 weeks today and fights sleep so badly.  I have read that fussiness peaks at 6 weeks and most babies are much more laid-back by 3-4 months.  Hopefully this is halfway done!

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