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#1 of 3 Old 04-14-2010, 02:08 PM - Thread Starter
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I was wondering if you could give me some insight on an issue that's been haunting me for the past couple years.
I've been seeing someone for awhile and have a good relationship with him, but my son's father is insisting that we should get back together and work things out. This tempts me because if things did work out with my son's father, I could have my family back together and give my son what he deserves (his mom and dad under one roof). However, if I try to make things work with him and it doesn't....then I've put my son through the disappointment of a seperation, and lost a good relationship (with the other person).
Since I'm so afraid of making the wrong choice, I've not been doing anything but worrying about it. Can you tell me what you see with either of these relationships as far as what is going to be best for my son and I?

Thank you so much.
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#2 of 3 Old 04-15-2010, 03:04 PM
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I do not have a good vibe on returning to the ex. At.All.
I feel like this will be such a big mistake. I get where you are coming from on it...having the family back together and all. But it's not going to work, just like the first time around. I do not think your ex has changed. Only on a superficial level. He talks the talk very well and is a real charmer when he wants to be. It's not that I think he is lying. Not to you anyways, but prob. to himself. The problems you two have, have not changed and will not.

The boyfriend is a good man. Good soul. I see this ending in marraige. I feel he will provide for you emotionally, physically and financially. I feel that he does like your child a great deal. I hesitate to say love yet, b/c their relationship def. has a vibe to it of man and someone elses child. And there is just a small resisitance on your Bf's part to totally fall in love with your child. But he will. And he will treat him like a son and be fair to him. He's a good man. Kind. Generous. Uplifting. Empowering.

The other one takes your energy and steals your power, iykwim.

Good luck with your decision, I hope this brings some clarity for you on it. I hope it's what you needed to hear to make a decision.

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#3 of 3 Old 04-15-2010, 07:02 PM - Thread Starter
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You completely blew me away with this answer. You're so dead on about their personalities that I feel as though you've met them before. You hit the nail on the head when you said that he's probably not lying to me, but to himself. I sense this very much. That's part of what is difficult for me is that I really hate to give up on people when I feel their intentions are good. Like they may get there eventually if they are wanting to. And I do feel very much so that he thinks things will be better and he believes he will try. The "halt" for me is exactly the other thing you mentioned.....that he takes my energy and steals my power. I don't feel he realizes what he is doing to me, but when I'm around him it feels like all my energy goes into him and none comes I eventually just disappear. And he always has to be in control of every situation. I always wondered though if those feelings I was having were because of my own if I were different, more confident and strong, would I feel that way around him? Or is it he that is causing me to feel that way? I've always taken responsibility for our interactions/relationship.
You are right on about the other man as well. He is very much this way. You stated that you see it ending in marriage.....I have another question as to what that would imply, which I'll have to post seperately.
Thank you so much Jamie......
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