Natural mother rejection - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 04-20-2010, 05:09 PM - Thread Starter
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Hi Jamie-

My husband recently found his birth mother through his adoption agency. She indicated to the case worker that she did not want to meet him or have contact with him, unfortunately. My question is if she'll ever change her mind and agree to a reunion, or if my husband (and myself) need to just move on. Thank you very much!
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#2 of 2 Old 04-21-2010, 06:53 PM
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I am feeling a HUGE sense of guilt on her. That is why she doesn't want to meet. She is overcome with guilt. So much so that I do not think she will ever make the move to meet your husband. The experience pains to her a depth of which I cannot really describe to you. Even though it was the right thing at the time and really the best for your husband, she has long since carried this guilt and at times almost been able to look at herself in the mirror. Honestly, I think it would be honorable of y'all to leave her alone. I do not say that with any understanding of what your husband is going through, nor personal opinion. I say that from the side I'm looking at. This is something she has figured out how to avoid her whole life.
But please rest assured she does love her son. It's not that. It's completely about her. And it's just too painful.

I send her and your husband and you a lot of love. My Dad was adopted and I've seen his journey through this. I feel for all of you.

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