Hi Jamie, I recently went through a very traumatic experience with the birth of my first daughter who was stillborn at 40 weeks. Her father and I are separated, & it has been very difficult for me going through this without him. I want to know if you see us together in the future and if there is a way for us to find peace & healing through this difficult time. Many thanks, Acuamazon.
I am so truly sorry to hear about your baby girl. I cannot even begin to fathom the depths of pain you must be feeling. I'm so so sorry.
And I'm also sorry to hear that your relationship is having a difficult time.
Unfortunately, I'm having difficulty seeing you two back together. I feel like he has been a "different person" for quite some time, almost like you just don't even know him anymore. I think the loss of your daughter has been detrimental to him (obviously to you too). But I sense for him this desire to just run away and pretend like nothings happened. Whereas that's not even a possibility for you. You can't help but feel everything and relive it and so you couldn't run away even if you wanted to. It's not fair. And I'm sorry. I feel like the two of you are not sure how to be together anymore b/c you've become two very different people.
As far as healing...you will. You most definitely will. Truths about life and death have come to light for you. It will be painful for a long time. How could it not be? But you will overcome this. You will never stop missing your daughter. But you will be able to have and love another child. You will find your strength, because that's just the kind of person you are (even if you don't feel like it right this minute, and I know you don't). You wont' be able to see through the haze for awhile. You will go through the stages of grief. But on the other end, one day, you WILL notice the sun is shining. You will notice that you feel good...healthy. You will recognize love again in all the glorious aspects of it.
You will be okay again one day. I promise.