Jamie, my last question is about where I go from here. The separation from my partner has left me to rely on my family for a place to stay for now. We also shared our business, so I must start over as a self-employed care provider. I also have a cross-country trip back to where I lived with him (my family lives in another state) to recover my vehicle, possessions, etc. which has to take place before the snow starts. Once I'm there or back, I must return to work as an acupuncturist. What seems to be the best route to take through this? There is a good place I feel must be waiting for me at the end of it.
Thank you for your messages of hope and love. They have been a huge blessing when little makes sense, and one thing I have learned is that Love is the fabric of the Universe. Many blessings to you, and much gratitude.
I keep hearing that Home is where the heart is. And it sounds like you don't know where your heart is right now. But i think the point, is that you can make it be wherever you want.
I really want you to know something. This loss you just experienced...it has not ended who you are as a person. In fact, honestly, I think it's begun who you are as a person. Meaning, I truly believe it was such a larger experience than you can even grasp right now, but part of the picture is definitely for you to take a good look at yourself and realize you were not living the life you should be living...b/c there is so much more.
That's not to say everything you were doing/living was wrong. not at all, but I see such a bigger you. It's like you had squashed your spirit down to live how others felt you should. And now is the time to soul search and live ONLY as YOU want to..you know to by your own spirits desires.
I actually see great adventure in front of you. I don't see the loneliness you are experiencing right now as a doorway to explore life further. I see you at "home" as far as where you are living now and I think it will stay that way for a bit. But when you get your bearings about you, I feel you will move somewhere you've never moved before, away from either ties, family and ex. Somewhere in the middle of those places, middle America. I get a sense of you bringing acupuncture to a place thats more small townish and opening that door of healing for others (which btw is a GREAT gift to offer!)
And that's the thing...you are a healer. And I always say: "Healer heal thyself" Great healers cannot be until they have gone within and healed themselves first. Or actually it's very often a dual process of healing thyself and helping others. The learning process within that is great!
So I encourage you to stay put for a bit, once you get your stuff. Get your grounding again and then I do think you will set out for a completely new adventure on your own. And in that adventure and brand new place you will live, you will be living as you always knew you should have been all along.
Thanks for your questions.I'm sorry they had to come at such a difficult time, but I'm so happy to have "spoken" with you. I wish you so much peace on your journey. If I could hug you right now I would and I wouldn't let go for about a 5 minutes! :)