Announcing your pregnancy?? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 26 Old 02-27-2010, 06:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi ladies!

I didn't really think too far into this..but now that I got a BFP, I have been wondering when is a good time to announce the pregnancy? Wait a few weeks to make sure it sticks? Wait till first trimester (the most risky one) is over? Tell everyone right away? I'm leaning toward waiting till around week 10 just to be extra sure it's going to stick.

Anyone know when they are going to announce? Have any creative ways to announce? Past experiences?

Congrats on everyone's BFP's!

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#2 of 26 Old 02-27-2010, 07:30 PM
 
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We are not announcing to anyone until after we are married--we're eloping. Poor E's mom is going to have quite a bit dumped on her at once. I dunno when to go widely public with it...I'm hoping to get an early(ish) ultrasound, and I reckon I'll just post that on Facebook to announe to the world at large.

My mom & daughters already know, being that they were there for the test.

Sabra: Mama to Bobbie (3/02), Linda (1/04), Esther (10/05), Marie (11/10), & Douglas (11/12)

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#3 of 26 Old 02-27-2010, 09:52 PM
 
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Let's see. With one baby we sent my mom flowers saying "congratulations on the new grand-baby you're going to have" (the funny thing is she thought it was from my sister who already had 4 and called her to giver her an earful Another time we put a pregnancy test in her stocking (guess that won't work for ya). Another time we took a picture of our son with a shirt that said "I'm going to be a big brother" and sent it. This last time I sent an email from my iPhone that said "an update on your grandkids". It had a picture of each kid playing and the last pic was a positive pregnancy test. It surprised her! Good luck ladies!

Mandi - Doula/Childbirth Educator, Loving my DH, DS, DD, DD, missing my three (last m/c 4/2010)
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#4 of 26 Old 02-27-2010, 10:22 PM
 
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Hmm, so DF & I just decided to UP/UC, so the ultrasound idea is out, LOL. I guess as far as Facebook goes I'll just post a picture of the pregnancy test.

Sabra: Mama to Bobbie (3/02), Linda (1/04), Esther (10/05), Marie (11/10), & Douglas (11/12)

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#5 of 26 Old 02-27-2010, 11:57 PM
 
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We’ll wait for the first trimester to be over before we announce the pregnancy. Last time we had an U/S at 11.5 W and everything looked great at that point so we went ahead and told people right after that. I likely won’t be having an U/S this time so we’re going to wait to tell people around Mother’s Day, because my mom who lives out of town will be here for a visit then. We may tell local friends a bit sooner, but I’m not sure yet. I would really like to hear a heartbeat before we tell people, but I have a tilted uterus so it takes longer to be able to pick up the heart beat.

To tell my mom I’m thinking that we will get DS a T-shirt that says I’m a big brother. Another option would be to get DS a book about becoming a big brother and giving it to him to have grandma read to him. Then we’ll see how long it takes her to figure it out.

Jenn (30) wife to DH (42) and Mama to DS (2). Looking forward to our with #2 due Nov. 2 2010.
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#6 of 26 Old 02-28-2010, 01:55 AM
 
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Another time we took a picture of our son with a shirt that said "I'm going to be a big brother" and sent it. This last time I sent an email from my iPhone that said "an update on your grandkids". It had a picture of each kid playing and the last pic was a positive pregnancy test. It surprised her! Good luck ladies!
We did that to announce our second pregnancy, only we put DS in the shirt, then left DS with the family while we went shopping. They didn't read the shirt! So, we had to drop major corny hints until someone did read it, and they all screamed and danced around, which totally freaked our DS! It was pretty funny, but I think this time we will leave DS1 out of it. DS2 on the other hand would probably love it if people were screaming and dancing with him being the center of it all.

In the past we have waited almost until the 2nd trimester to tell even close friends or family. This time, we really need some support and encouragement, and maybe a little free babysitting here and there, so we will be telling family and a few very close, dear friends very soon. Then at 10 or 12 weeks, we will go Facebook crazy and tell the world!

Kim. My heart is full! Wife to Ray, Mama to 3 boys!  "Big C", our boy with designer genes, "Little C", and "Baby M" 11/2010.
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#7 of 26 Old 02-28-2010, 02:48 AM
 
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So, we had to drop major corny hints until someone did read it, and they all screamed and danced around, which totally freaked our DS! !
That's funny I'm definitely not announcing anything on facebook until way into the second trimester or more. I didn't announce my last one either (the miscarriage), thank goodness.

Mandi - Doula/Childbirth Educator, Loving my DH, DS, DD, DD, missing my three (last m/c 4/2010)
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#8 of 26 Old 02-28-2010, 02:56 AM
 
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I announced on Facebook right away last time... and I'm a little more hesitant to this time around. Some of my friends still haven't gotten that I miscarried last time so I'm still having to explain.

I'm worried about my family's reaction a bit. Conceiving 2 months after a miscarriage implies we were really trying. We weren't.. we actually had one oops moment this month that must have been timed ever so perfectly or my husband has great aim or something. I wanted another but I'm sure my family just wouldn't 'get it' and might have nasty things to say. I'm debating not even telling them and just letting them figure out when I really start to show, though at the rate my belly is popping out this time it won't take long.

Nic, loving mama to 5 with a SURPRISE 6th on the way.

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#9 of 26 Old 02-28-2010, 12:43 PM
 
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I've told a few people (though not family yet)...if (WHEN) all goes well (fingers crossed and lots of prayers) and we see the heartbeat at our early u/s, we'll tell MIL and FIL and BIL and future SIL when we go visit them at 7w. My parents...they won't be as thrilled, as they seriously advocated for us to have an only child, so I'm not sure when/how I'll tell them. I'm sure they'll love the new baby too, but it's just silly that they're so not adult about these things. It's my life, we can support another child financially, so what's the big problem??

Not sure how we'll tell the ILs -- thinking maybe refusing a glass of wine at dinner? That would be a sure sign to them... I do like the idea of a book that DD asks them to read about being a big sister

DD March 2007...happily nursing, EC graduated, family-bed-sharing family... expecting another in early November!
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#10 of 26 Old 03-02-2010, 11:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Those are all great ideas!

We fly home in April so we will tell them then if plans go accordingly. Not sure how to tell them or when I will start showing.

I am a pretty small person so if I'm showing by then, my mom will totally know the second I step off the plane. We'll see though. I want to come up with something realllly good.

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#11 of 26 Old 03-02-2010, 11:23 PM
 
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I'm small (well... I used to be smaller lol),too and with my first I don't think anybody noticed I was pregnant until my 6th or 7th month. All those muscles hold everything in the first time around... now I start to show before I get a bfp and need maternity clothes as soon as I get a positive pregnancy test! I'm just kidding

Nic, loving mama to 5 with a SURPRISE 6th on the way.

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#12 of 26 Old 03-03-2010, 12:53 AM
 
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With DD I just showed my mom the test. DS we had DD wear a "big sister" tshirt, went over to my parents house and just relaxed...wanted to see how long it took. Mom got it after about 5-10 min, dad too a while longer(he wasn't in the room when got there)...we just started laughing and staring at him. Then he got it. LOL With this one, we are thinking of getting a tshirt for me to wear, putting the due date(or something similar to November something-or-other), having a picture taken of DH and I, framing it and giving it them. I like to try and make it creative and fun.
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#13 of 26 Old 03-03-2010, 02:35 AM
 
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I have told 2 dear friends, and my husband. Ale and I made him a card this morning and I taped the positive CBE digital inside of the card that said (in Spanish) I'm going to be a big brother in November! I also called my doula, who already knew in her heart I am pregnant. I'll tell my other doula sisters at our monthly get together. Family will wait until I go and see my midwife. I know some people don't tell anyone, but it's so hard not to share the joy!

Mary, wife to Christian, mama to Ale (5/31/07), and thrilled to be expecting #2 in November 2010
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#14 of 26 Old 03-03-2010, 10:12 AM
 
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We just started telling a few people yesterday.. My mom, dad and sister. We're planning to tell DH's family this weekend when we see them. I like the "big brother" shirt idea! I think we may do that...

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#15 of 26 Old 03-03-2010, 11:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Those are all great ideas!

We fly home in April so we will tell them then if plans go accordingly. Not sure how to tell them..I guess it depends on when I start showing.

I am a pretty small person so if I'm showing by then, my mom will totally know the second I step off the plane. We'll see though. I want to come up with something realllly good.

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#16 of 26 Old 03-13-2010, 05:19 AM
 
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Bumping for more ideas! I'm not sure yet when or how to tell anyone... I actually told my MW first, as she'd just left our house after visiting for a bit when I took the HPT. Then I dropped the results-end of an EPT digital in DH's pocket before I told him to get dressed and get DS's medicine. We're still both really getting used to the idea so I think we'll wait until it's sunk in a bit more. I'm thinking a week or two, at least until my mom gets back in town from a trip she just left on. But I need something clever!

The first time, I wrapped up an "I love my Grandma" outfit and gave it to her as an "early birthday" gift. The second time, it was right before my birthday, so I bought two outfits, wrapped them up, and as his parents, my parents, and grandparents were all there (a rare occurrence) we gave one gift to each set of parents and had them open it. It took them a few minutes to get it. The third time, it must've been around Valentine's, and I wrapped up another baby outfit and gave it to my mom. So, um, what holiday is coming up next?!

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#17 of 26 Old 03-13-2010, 08:41 AM
 
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So, um, what holiday is coming up next?!
St. Patricks day, Easter, Mother's day (though it is quite far away). I'm certain that I will have to tell before Mother's day as I'll be in maternity pants soon.

I have told dh and one very close friend. We don't live close to any family, so I think I might send pictures of both girls wearing big sister shirts, and see how long it takes to get a phone call. I won't be posting on Facebook until at least the second trimester.

Loving my dh, two girls ages 6 and 3 and my baby boy born on Halloween 2010. Missing my angel 9/08
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#18 of 26 Old 03-13-2010, 09:31 AM
 
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I'm thinking about spilling the beans on Easter. I have never waited to announce, usually I tell before the test dries, lol. After the miscarriage in December I just don't feel comfortable facing everybody's potential disappointment without feeling certain I'm carrying a sticky babe.

Nic, loving mama to 5 with a SURPRISE 6th on the way.

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#19 of 26 Old 03-13-2010, 11:33 AM
 
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with dd, we told our mom's the day we found out. then with angel #1, we waited till 8 wks and told them all at christmas by giving them a framed pic of dd. the other side of the frame said "pic on back order till (edd)". after all the losses, we waited till 16wks to tell immediate family, and 20wks for friends with ds. this time around, i have no intentions of telling anyone other than dh till at least 12 wks. i haven't even called the dr yet, though i think i will in th enext week or two. i'm thinking i'll use the dr's office till 12 or so wks and then switch to a midwife for a homebirth. i just want the u/s so i can see that things are okay.

i like the idea o fsending flowers...i may do that for my grandmother. dh's parents will be happy, so i'm not worried about telling them. my mom made a really hurtful comment a month or so ago though about how my siste rshould be the next one to have a baby since "it's not loike the rest o fyou don't deserve them, but she's our kid person". really hoping to wait as long as possible before telling her. she ignores d as it is, even though he's the youngest grnadkid and she knows the hell we went thru trying to have him.
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#20 of 26 Old 03-13-2010, 03:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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fyrwmn- Sorry to hear about your experience.

I think we are going to wait a long time too. We aren't flying home till I'm almost 12 weeks along. I think we are going to tell them the second we step off the plane. (I am a fairly little person, and from the looks of bloating, etc, momma will know whats up for sure unless I wear something that's huge!) Is 12 weeks along enough in the clear? Once DH's family finds out, the news is going to spread like wildfire. I like to keep things somewhat private and I'm really nervous about having a miscarriage. It would be horrible to have one after telling the family considering it will be the first grandkid on both sides. How long should I wait?

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#21 of 26 Old 03-13-2010, 03:41 PM
 
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With DD I think we told our immediate families around 6 weeks with strict instructions not to tell anyone else. (Ha! The news spread like wildfire.) I told my boss earlier than I intended (8 weeks) because of some stuff going on at work. The rest of the office and general public I didn't tell until 14 weeks or so.

This time, I've told my mom (no cute way, just told her - now I'm wishing I had sent her a pic of a pg test or something) but we're not telling my dad or the inlaws until at least 8 weeks or so (because they can't keep a secret and we wouldn't want to have to spread the word if a miscarriage happened). My first prenatal visit isn't until 10 weeks, so I'm thinking I might hold out until then so we know there's a heartbeat. I hate keeping secrets though. I'm hoping to avoid telling anyone at work until 12 weeks at least, maybe longer. Last time I wasn't in maternity clothes until 16 weeks or so, but I have a feeling I'll be showing earlier this time.
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#22 of 26 Old 03-13-2010, 04:44 PM
 
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I was trying to wait until after my first prenatal appnt. before telling my parents, but it was driving me crazy...so last week I had them both on the phone and told them, but also asked them to keep it a secret for now. That way now I can talk to my mom about all my symptoms, instead of always complaining to DH! We're waiting to tell DH's parents for a couple more weeks when they come to visit us for a short bit. After that, we'll probably start telling siblings, but also ask them NOT to say anything about it on Facebook. I'm not ready for the whole world to know!

As for friends around here, I'm planning to wait until after the first trimester, but I'm not sure I'll make it. Morning sickness is getting rather annoying, and it may be hard to hide at church. Plus, I'm already starting to pop out of my jeans...so I'm going to have to be creative and try to hide my belly as it grows. I'm not tiny or anything, but I'm also not overweight, so it's quite possible people will start to notice if I start to "bulge."

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#23 of 26 Old 03-13-2010, 11:14 PM
 
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DS told my parents today on skype. He said "Big Brother!" and it took my parents a minute to get it. My mom instantly said, "How on earth are you going to afford another child!" and I said, "That's not the reaction we had hoped for, Mom." It was probably initial shock, but it still stings. Later I got several emails from her about how thrilled they are. My father, who didn't say anything, told her that he hopes I have a girl. One of each for them. Since I'm an only child, these are the only grandbabies they'll ever get.

Mary, wife to Christian, mama to Ale (5/31/07), and thrilled to be expecting #2 in November 2010
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#24 of 26 Old 03-13-2010, 11:22 PM
 
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DDDC crashing - personally i tell Dh of course and my mom but i keep it to myself until i hit that 3 month mark to make sure it's gong to stick. I always worry when people announce really early beacuse if (god/ess forbid) it doesn't stick you have to then go back and tell all those people 'oh ... nope .. not anymore' worse thing to have to do ever.

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#25 of 26 Old 03-14-2010, 12:46 AM
 
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I tell people who are likely to notice that I've visibly lost weight, have no energy, and generally don't look particularly healthy, as I'd rather have them know the real reason than think I have cancer or that I'm exposing them to the Death Flu or something. That, and I like the sympathy. (In my case the chances of having to go through multiple rounds of non-sticky pregnancy while around the same people is very low, as we're planning to move and I'm NOT intending to try again any time soon if this one doesn't stick, so that's a risk I'll take)

I also told my clinical instructor, because I need the leeway to take adequate care of myself, which isn't necessarily going to happen if I don't have a good reason.

I may tell my son's supervising teacher to explain why our homeschool curriculum has suddenly turned into videoschooling.

I'll probably tell my family when they're here at the end of April, which will be around week 13.

DS born 6/03, DD1 born 9/06, DD2 born 10/10, DD3 born 4/14.
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#26 of 26 Old 03-14-2010, 12:53 AM
 
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I just kept blabing to total strangers so I figured I should just tell my parents before I told another random person. It is hard to keep quit because everyone knew we were trying. We are going out of town next week with a bunch of people we know and it will be hard to explain why I am not drinking with out them knowing that I am pregnant. So as people find out people find out I guess. But what I would really like to do is make a video of my husband and I announcing the pregnancy and email it to people. I would love to wait till about 10 weeks but doubt I will make it that long since I am a big mouth. I told one friend my sending her a picture of the positive test.
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