"You're hoping for a girl, right?" - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 03-04-2010, 12:51 PM - Thread Starter
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Since we have 2 sons, we're getting this remark already. Usually with "and then you're done, right?" added at the end.

Anyone else with all 1 gender getting these kind of comments?
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#2 of 12 Old 03-04-2010, 01:04 PM
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My first 3 are boys. When was pregnant with dd1 I got this comment ALL the time. We also got the "are you done yet?" question all the time, too. After we had dd2 everyone felt compelled to ask if we were done after her. Its amazing that pregnancy and parenting is fair game for unsolicited opinions and comments from the peanut gallery.

Ashley~certified nurse-midwife mama to 6 little novaxnocirc.gifhomebirth.jpglotbirth.gif loves, including sweet Cordelia Jane born at home waterbirth.jpgon 11/12/10.
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#3 of 12 Old 03-04-2010, 01:17 PM
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I really, honestly think that random people should just NOT talk to pregnant woman unless they have very very nice things to say..and even then probably not.
I am constantly astounded by the ignorance and stupidity of people!
last night i was knitting with a group of my friends, one of whom has triplet girls.. she said the number of times people, random strangers at that, have ask her why she was using fertility drugs to get pregnant is in the 100o's.. she was not using any kind of fertility treatment..but whose business is it anyways? and half the time they don't even believe her

I especially like the "was it planned?" comment people love to ask... this time i will get to say `YUP! we tried VERY hard` and have them be shocked..because why would anyone want 4 children?!

oh, and when complete strangers decide that they know the sex of your baby by the way you are carrying.. *sigh*

Once in while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right....
Country living Mama of 4 home-birthed children, 3 chickens and 2 puppies.
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#4 of 12 Old 03-04-2010, 01:42 PM
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I got the flip version of that constantly when I was pregnant with my third. And even now I'll occasionally get "You should have try again so you can have a boy!" Just totally randomly, from strangers--though not nearly as often now that I'm a single mama.

I think my least-favorite version of that was "You need to have a boy so your husband can have someone named after him!" Yeah...no. My oldest girl is named after her daddy. That is enough, random stranger.

Sabra: Mama to Bobbie (3/02), Linda (1/04), Esther (10/05), Marie (11/10), Douglas (11/12), & Psalm (09/14; in Heaven)
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#5 of 12 Old 03-04-2010, 01:54 PM
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My first three are boys... then I had a girl and everyone, do I mean everyone has asked us if we are done now that we 'got' our girl. I just say, well... I'm not sure I guess we'll see what the universe has in store for us. Neither my husband and I will get 'fixed' and I can't take hormonal anything. I think we do need to figure something else out after this babe though.

Nic, loving mama to 5 with a SURPRISE 6th on the way.

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#6 of 12 Old 03-04-2010, 03:34 PM
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I'm expecting to hear a lot about hoping for a boy. They would be right but honestly I will love this baby either way.

Loving my dh, two girls ages 6 and 3 and my baby boy born on Halloween 2010. Missing my angel 9/08
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#7 of 12 Old 03-04-2010, 05:28 PM
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DDC crashing. I get this all the time and I am so sick of it! We have a 14 year old daughter and a 5 year old daughter and from the day we announced that #3 is coming it has been non-stop. At least once a day I get a comment. We do not know what this baby is and my friends still call it a boy and only suggest boy names and tell me how my husband "needs" a boy and ask if we are having a 3rd because we are trying for a boy and on and on. One day I was at the grocery store with both my girls and the cashier asked my then 4 year old what the baby was. She did not really understand the question so she said its a girl. The cashier looked at me and actually said, I am so sorry, I bet you wanted a boy this time after two girls.
I finally told my friends last week to stop with the boy comments, that this baby is loved and wanted no matter what is between its legs.

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#8 of 12 Old 03-04-2010, 06:09 PM
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I got this from my employer. I have to tell early due to work hazards.

She said "I bet you have your fingers crossed for a girl, huh?" What I told her is what I truly feel: I may have hoped for a girl before I got pregnant, but the baby is what it is now and I'm going to love him or her no matter what!

Vegan family since 2011 - Wonderful DS1 born 1/08. Treasured DS2  born 11/10.

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better." - Maya Angelou

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#9 of 12 Old 03-07-2010, 02:24 PM - Thread Starter
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Glad I'm not alone. And ITA that strangers should zip it around pregnant women.

Dh and I are quiverfull, so we'll take however many God gives us. Given that we waited so long for this one, I highly doubt we'll end up with many more. I could care less if it's a boy or a girl. I'm just thrilled to be adding to our family. People just don't get it though.
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#10 of 12 Old 03-07-2010, 06:13 PM
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I JUST announced my pregnancy at church today and at least half a dozen people said they hope/are praying we're having a girl (our first is a boy). One person actually said because "then you'll have the perfect family".
My family will be perfect if the child is a boy too, thank you very much!

People aren't saying much about "was it planned". I wish they would so I could give them the correct answer, but they're assuming this pregnancy was an "oops" because DS is only 3 months old. We weren't preventing and were open to having another little one at any time God thought best, including immediately if that happened. After trying 3 years for DS, I'm thrilled to have another on the way without any waiting.

I agree that people need to stop talking to pregnant women.

BTW, it made me happy to see this post. I told DH how annoying all the comments are and he thought I was being silly. He isn't bothered by that stuff so it's nice to "talk" to other people who understand.

Lore, mom to my sweet little boy, born at home 11/09, and my spunky little girl, born in the hospital 10/10

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#11 of 12 Old 03-07-2010, 06:18 PM
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We didn't have any kids prior to this one but when people asked if we wanted a boy or girl OH used to reply he actually wanted a kitten.
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#12 of 12 Old 03-08-2010, 04:20 PM
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Just to put in my two sense, just because the baby has male or female genitalia doesn't mean it's for sure going to identify as that gender. For example, I thought I had a boy for a few years, but a few months ago our LO let us know that she is actually a girl (she is transgender).

When this baby is born and people (inevitably) ask whether it's a girl or boy, we're thinking of saying "Penis," or "Vulva," since that is what they are really asking. That doesn't really cover it if our child is born with ambiguous genitalia though... Maybe we'll have to rethink this plan.

I'm a queer, poly, pagan, (dis)abled, crazy, crunchy, intersectionally-minded feminist. fsonj & I are mamas to our unschooled/freeschooled 12yo & 3yo!  (Ask me about co-breastfeeding, supplementing at the breast, inducing lactation, eating placentas, undisturbed birth, and parenting a genderqueer child with Aspergers!)
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