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A thread for the homebirthers!

4K views 82 replies 40 participants last post by  karen1968 
#1 ·
I figured this would be a good place to chat and share our plans/fears etc.

We are planning our 2nd homebirth. However our first we didn't homebirth because of some PTL issues that arose and by the time we made it to full term my DH was a little scared of a homebirth. But our midwife stayed with us through a great hospital birth.

This time we have our own home now and I am really looking forward to having our homebirth. This is our last baby. I"m super excited I will be telling our MW on tuesday


So I know I"m not the only one out there.
 
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#52 ·
Another one here! DS2 was my not-quite-homebirth. It's illegal in *my* state...BUT...I live about a 25 min. drive from the border and a midwife who does births for people from here in a house there.
So it's not MY home. but it was a waterbirth in a tub that has seen a lot of babies....including at least one other that I know personally.


NURSE-midwives can do homebirths in my state now. It became legal about halfway through my pregnancy with DS2. At that time, nobody was doing them anywhere near me. (only one 8 hours away) I am putting feelers out to see if I can find anybody who might be border-hopping now that we got rid of our 'sunset clause' on CNM's (an expiration date basically--of COURSE nobody is going to start a practice here if they might not be able to practice in a few years!)

Otherwise...either DH will *finally* stop yakkin and we will move or I will go back to my over-the-border not quite homebirth. (I've also seriously entertained the idea of inviting a person or two who I know with experience, and just um, accidentally staying home too long
)

and that is all we'll say about that. It would not be *unplanned* just um, only planned by ME....though dh laughed when I made a comment like that the other day and said 'sure you could'....
 
#53 ·
Aaakkkk! I am so sick of states that are making midwifery illegal! Midwives have more experience with actual laboring women than most OBs!

ARGHHH!!!!!

So sorry Peaceful Mama that you have to even think about this---the fact that your state can't support fully trained practitioners with normal labor and delivery is just so frustrating....especially since a lot of OBs are now saying that maybe they aren't doing it right either.
 
#54 ·
i'd really like a homebirth this time. dd was born in the "alternative birthing center" of a large nearby hospital. but i labored mostly at home and showed up at the hospital at 9cm, dd was born an hour later. so i feel pretty confident that i could stay home this time. the only thing i am worried about is insurance stuff.
 
#55 ·
I hope it works out for you peaceful_mama! All the stupid laws make me so agitated!!! Ugh!


I'm getting insanely excited about homebirth. I've come so far in the past two years. lol I remember thinking "OMG! I could never do a homebirth!" and being so scared. Now I feel so confident and silly for not researching homebirth more for my first... well not that my H would have went for it with my first. His views have actually changed a lot too. It was rather interesting actually, last time we had WWIII over the Vit K shot and eye goop... this time around he was just like, "I know you have done your research and I trust you, choose what you feel comfortable with." Way less drama this time around.

I started making all kinds of lists for things needed and things to remember. My Mom has even been asking more questions! And nothing negative at all from her!

My MW and doula both have five children and my MW delivered two at home, and my doula three at home... so their experience and background has me feeling even more confident... I'm just bursting with excitement really.

Anyway... I just had to share. Not too many places I can bubble over about this where people would "get it" you know? lol
 
#56 ·
JSMa--we were totally right there with you on our first. My husband and I thought it was a stretch to use a birth center...and whenever we talked about the idea of a homebirth we were really scared and just couldn't get our heads around it.

And then we had our first, and it was wonderful and easy. The worst part of the entire thing was the drive TO and FROM the birth center. The second time around, we sort of assumed we'd use the same BC and then one day I called my DH and said, "I really don't want to get in the car in labor". He said, "Well, let's do a homebirth then!"

My MIL is the one who has the hardest time with it--she thinks that anyone other than the "best" OB in NYC (we live in Philly btw) is the wrong person to use. She has said things like, "You'd be crazy to use a MW when there are doctors available."

We just didn't tell her until after the baby was born. And even then she was freaking out (we live literally 3 minutes from a major hospital---by the time they prep the OR, we'd be there!)

This time, she'll obviously know what's up, but oh well. Her problem, not ours!

Here's to wonderful homebirths and supportive partners! And yes, let's please keep chatting, because I'm pretty sure that in the end, WE aren't the crazy ones!
 
#57 ·
Oh cool! Did you go the Birth Center in Bryn Mawr? I live an hour north of Philly.
If you are on facebook, check out the group EmPoWeRd Birth. We have a lot of cool things going on at the moment, such as hosting a movie night each month. Last night we watched Orgasmic Birth.

I'm just so incredibly excited. I meet my MW today!
I've started all kinds of lists already too. lol Just the thought alone of not having to drive anywhere for birth this time is just so incredibly freeing and relieves so much stress!!
 
#58 ·
I did do TBC in Bryn Mawr. It is such a fabulous place, but was going to be a 45 minute drive from our place in Chestnut Hill.

AND I love my midwives. Who are you using? Just joined the EmPoWeRed Birth group---is it a local thing? Based out of where?
 
#59 ·
Yay! So glad to find this thread. We are hoping for a home birth. My DH is 100% supportive. Only thing we worry about is our neighbors. We live in an apt. and the walls are somewhat thin. We heard our neighbor coughing when she was sick, and we always hear our upstairs neighbors TV, but I assume it's on loud. Anyway, our first was born in a hospital and we will NEVER do that again unless necessary. Our second was born in a very hands off birth center that was fabulous and it is our second choice if we can't find a midwife we like. We are interviewing 2 midwives on Monday.
 
#61 ·
I told my mom and MIL about the homebirth and it went awesome! DH wasn't going to tell his mom until we had to because she's been super opinionated (not in a good way) about our choices in the past but she straight up asked him (I guess she's starting to figure us out, lol) so he had to say yes. But then he launched right into some statistics and info before she could say anything else and she didn't say anything else!

I had an appt with a hospital CNM yesterday just to get my prenatal care started while we interview midwives. My mom asked how I picked that practice and I said it was the closest to me and that DH and I haven't figured out where we want to go "for real." She asked if we were thinking of a homebirth and when I said yes she said, "oh, cool!! Hospitals are for sick people, you don't need to have another baby there!" I knew my mom would be supportive because she was a natural birth (in hospital), extended breastfeeding kind of mom but I didn't expect her total enthusiasm! Now I'm really excited!
 
#62 ·
This is our first baby and we'll be having him or her at home, barring any major reason not to.

I interviewed midwives before I was pregnant and chose one, so we could budget for the fee in our FSA account. And also because I'm a control freak super-planner and had a two page list of interview questions.

Right now I'm starting to work on getting it covered by insurance, but Maine doesn't have licensing for CPMs, and the insurance guidelines say that they will accept licensed midwives only. Also, our CPM is an ND, and insurance won't cover NDs at all, so I'll probably have to make an argument about her ND-ness being secondary to what I'm seeing her for, which is midwifery. Heh. We'll see how that goes...but that's why we budgeted beforehand. If they cover at 60% out-of-network I will be psyched!

I'm really excited. I love my midwife, and my husband really likes her too. He said that she's confident without being cocky, and he can tell that she's not going to try to be a hero if something isn't going right. It's comforting to have his support.
 
#64 ·
Here you go! These are compiled from a mothering homebirth thread about what to ask HB midwives. Sorry to cloud the thread with the length....

Prenatal

What do your checkups consist of?

How do you determine a due date?

What are your goals for prenatal care?

For what reasons might I risk out of homebirth?

What about preeclampsia?, GD? Twins? Breech?

What do you do if someone else is laboring?

Have you ever missed a birth?

What is your position on gestational diabetes?

Do you have a maximum number of mothers you work with within a particular time period?

Are there any prenatal tests that you require?

In what circumstances/situations would you recommend an ultrasound?

Just one 20 week ultrasound okay? No ultrasounds okay?

How do you handle questions between visits?

What percentage of your patients start labor spontaneously?

What do you expect from us during pregnancy?

Labor

What do you consider overdue?

What if my water breaks and contractions don't start? Is there a time limit before intervention?

What happens if you're unavailable?

What is your role/personal style during labor?

Under what circumstances would you feel an IV is necessary?

Under what circumstances would you feel it's necessary to do a vaginal exam?

Under what circumstances would you artificially rupture membrances?

For what reasons would you perform a vaginal exam after rupture?

Are there restrictions on eating and drinking during labor?

How do you monitor the baby and the mom during labor?

What is your approach to a labor that is progressing slowly?

What do you do if you find meconium?

How do you think the pushing stage should be managed?

What percentage of your patients have episiotomies?

Under what circumstances would you perform an episiotomy?

What kinds of things would you do to avoid performing an episiotomy?

What percentage of your patients have c-sections?

What are the most common reasons for c-sections?

Are there time limits for stalls in the labor?

How do you encourage partner participating?

Is the partner allowed to catch the baby?

What do you carry with you, and why?

What kind of emergency equipment do you have with you?
What kind of pain management techniques can you help me with?

How would you handle a hemorrage?

Cord prolapse?

What experiences have you had resuscitating a baby? Training?

Can you tell us about bad outcomes?

Problem with the dog being there?

What are the qualifications of your assistant?

How will I get to know your assistant? What if I don't like her?

If I transferred to the hospital…

For what reasons would you recommend a hospital transfer?

Do you have a relationship with any hospitals or OBs?

If I go there, will I be treated like a leper?

What would be your role in the hospital if I'm transferred? What are your privileges?

Would you meet me at the hospital when I'm admitted? At what point do you show?

Do you stay throughout labor?

Post

What happens to the baby immediately after birth?

For what reasons would I be separated from my baby after birth?

At what point do you prefer that the cord is cut and clamped?

How much time do you allow for the delivery of the placenta?

How do you feel about lotus birth?

Can I breastfeed immediately?

Is there a bathing requirement (for the baby)?

What happens if I need stitches?

Do you require any of the following --Vitamin K, heel stick, eye antibiotics.

Do you perform circumcisions? (I wanted to know whether I had to worry about her coming at my son with a scalpel or something!)

What kind of lactation support is there?

How do I get a birth certificate?

How often will you visit me after the birth?

What do the visits include, and why are they important?

How many babies?

What kind of professional development do you engage in?

Do you participate in peer reviews?

Have you ever been named in a lawsuit?

Have you had any women or their families be dissatisfied with your care?

What kinds of classes or methods would you recommend?
 
#65 ·
Told my coworker today about my plans for a homebirth and was pleasantly surprised at her reaction.


"they've been doing it that way for centuries. Good for you!"



Not that it really matters what people think... but the positive responses are really nice and it makes me feel like perhaps education is getting out there a little more.

I live in an area where midwives just are not really heard of. We have one midwife delivering babies in a hospital right now, but she is at a practice with like 10 OBs, so no garantee to even get her.

A big reason why the birth group I belong to popped up to help change the climate of birth in this area.
 
#66 ·
Anyone thinking of supplies yet?

I picked up a package of bendy straws, a vinyl mattress cover, and H and I retired an old set of sheets to use. I started a box in our office to house what I have picked up thus far.

I know it's really early, but money is tight and I figure if I pick up small things here and there throughout the months it will go better.

I'm just so excited! lol
 
#68 ·
Ocean Reef Pools on sale on amazon.com for only $20!!!

In case any of you are looking for a cheap alternative to a birth tub and missed the link in the homebirth forum.

I ordered two of them today so DD has one to play in this summer too. So excited!!
 
#69 ·
I used a blow up kiddie pool for two of my births (I had it set up for all 3) this time I think I will be using a proper hard sided birth pool. a friend of mine has one she lends/rents out..it should fun!

I haven't really even begun to think about birth. I guess since I have had 3 pretty amazing home births I just feel like it will all fall into place. plus we have 5 months left to plan, right? I have my first midwife appoint,ent soon so I guess we will chat about all of that at some point.
 
#70 ·
hey ladies just now starting to post here
15 weeks along
this will be my 4th child 3 homebirth
all have came naturally but hospitals and docs just arent for me
i am soo happy to be able to have the same mw this time around as we have moved alot and my other 3 were born in diff. states so always had to find a diff. care provider lol
finally emailed my midwife and have my 1st appt. in a week
was gonna try and hold out since shes having her big annual picnic in june
i couldve surprised her

but couldnt wait any longer
 
#71 ·
Ordered the last of my homebirth supplies last night!!


Well, the medical type ones. lol Still trying to decide what to do about pool drainage equipment. I need to talk to my Dad about this, but know he's going to get all weirded out again. He's having a hard time wrapping his head around a waterbirth.

What are some pool drainage things you ladies are using? I was going to try to go cheap and was thinking of just the hose as I have seen posted around, but I think I may have to put the hose out the window to drain, and I don't think it will work to pull the water up to the window?
 
#72 ·
Way to go Phoenix! The only thing I've done so far is walk by th chux pads at Target and think, "I should get some of those some point!"

I don't think we are doing a pool this time--mainly because I just don't love the water in labor. And we have a tub/shower steps from our bedroom, so I can always use that.

Last time though I went to Petsmart o buy a hose to fill and drain with. It was maybe $40. I seem to recall my reason for doing it was that somewhere someone said we needed to use a sterile type hose, not a garden hose. Obviously the petsmart hoses aren't steril, but they're meant for keeping water clean. Also, they have a way to use your water pressure in your house to empty a pool (we did it into the tub).

Hope that's helpful!
 
#74 ·
I don't think it really needs serious water pressure, as long as you are able to get water flowing in your sink (which I assume you can
) it uses the motion of that to then empty. I do recall after our HB that my husband at one point was trying to empty the tub (this was a few hours later I think---we were worried about that much weight in our 160 year old house). He was having some trouble but our MW came in and got it going really well. I bet your MW can do the same---they've seen more birth tubs than we have!

Now that I think about it, I think it was my MW that suggested the Petsmart hosing---the best part was that you can fill it by screwing it onto your closest sink.

Oh, and don't forget 3-4 weeks before your birth to turn your water heater up!
 
#75 ·
The Python did NOT work for my last waterbirth. I want a submersible pump this time for sure. Trying to decide between our bathtub which is ok sized, but not super large or the La Bassine. I love water during labor/birth, so one has to stick. Ordering birth kit and some misc. things today.
 
#76 ·
I'm so excited for birthing! I see my mw on Wednesday. I birth reeealy fast, so I don't feel like I need to really plan much - except lots of food to be stocked. I'm a total food hoarder, like I start to get anxious when our freezer begins to run low.

I wonder if I should have supplies on hand in case my mw doesn't get here in time? I wouldn't really need to do anything except wait, I suppose. But I sort of worry about bleeding issues & that maybe I should have *something* on hand JIC. Any ideas? I've read that most of the herbal stuff, like Shepherd's Purse isn't strong enough to do anything in a true emergency. I think I'd feel better knowing that if she doesn't make it, I'd be a bit prepared.
 
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