"What if" UP! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 10 Old 03-27-2010, 12:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Everyone,

As I was reading another thread, someone made a point that so much of these threads are talking about problems or anxieties we're all feeling and facing at the moment. Tonight, my mother reminded me of a practice we have at my church that is called "What If" Up!

So many times we can start letting ourselves think; "What if there's something wrong?"; "What if I lose the baby?"; "What if I can't get in to see the Doctor?"; "What if I lose my health insurance before I have the baby?" etc. This is what we call "What If" Down.

We drive ourselves nutty with all the negative What If's that float through our minds. But, what if we tried to be positive with our what if's? Instead of asking "What if there's something wrong?"; ask "What if everything is perfect?". Instead of "What if I lose the baby?", replace it with "What if everything (including my BM's) go smoothly?". What if we "What If" UP!

If we ask ourselves those kinds of What If Up questions and focus on dreaming about those answers, maybe it might help with some anxiety and just for an overall more fun and positive pregancy. Some of you may think this is hogwash, but it is helping me to get through this time easier. Also, I've learned once again that Mama knows best.

Life is always a rich and steady time when you are waiting for something to happen or to hatch.
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#2 of 10 Old 03-27-2010, 12:56 AM
 
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thanks for this.. i was thinking the same thing.. its hard to be positive when you feel like puking but its worth trying! i find if im thinking of all of the goodness of life i don't feel so unwell..

my + what if of late..
what if we actually can buy a house~! how much better our lives will be.. and... our offer was excepted!! (much lower than asking price to boot!) this has renewed my knowing that everything will be ok..and better than okay. may 1st i will have my very own house!

 

 

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#3 of 10 Old 03-27-2010, 01:07 AM
 
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This is great--thank you for sharing it.

lucky mom to Oliver, 8/6/07, and Finn, 11/28/10, and wife to DH
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#4 of 10 Old 03-27-2010, 01:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by MamaFern View Post
thanks for this.. i was thinking the same thing.. its hard to be positive when you feel like puking but its worth trying! i find if im thinking of all of the goodness of life i don't feel so unwell..

my + what if of late..
what if we actually can buy a house~! how much better our lives will be.. and... our offer was excepted!! (much lower than asking price to boot!) this has renewed my knowing that everything will be ok..and better than okay. may 1st i will have my very own house!
Exactly Mama Fern! You will have your house by May 1st =D. I know it will happen for you.

Life is always a rich and steady time when you are waiting for something to happen or to hatch.
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#5 of 10 Old 03-27-2010, 11:10 AM
 
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Thanks for posting. You are so right! I really tend to be a glass half full kinda of girl even when stuff doesn't go exactly my way. Not sure why I have been focusing on negatives and letting my anxiety get the better of me this week. My positive What if I actually get to have a home birth before we get sent overseas? That would really be a dream come true!

Fun loving crunchy mommy to an amazing outgoing adventurous boy named Logan Cloud 2/2/07 and our little ball of energy Jayden Edge 11/28/10 and wife to Jet 7/3/05 expecting our third 09/21/14

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#6 of 10 Old 03-27-2010, 12:41 PM
 
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Thank you for this - I think a positive frame of mind can do a lot to combat demons. I just remind myself whenever I'm feeling crappy this time around that at least it means I'm pregnant, and I'm grateful for that.

Bobbi, wife to dh love.gif and mom to dd1 (6-6-04) blahblah.gif, ds (4-1-06) nut.gif, and dd2 (1-18-08) flower.gif. Welcoming our newest ds babyboy.gif (11-24-10)!
 
 
 
 
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#7 of 10 Old 03-27-2010, 04:02 PM
 
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what a lovely reminder for all of us!!

what if my baby is perfect? what if my daughter adjusts beautifully to having a new sibling? what if i get my homebirth? what if insurance pays for everything? what if my husband buys me some ice cream on his way home?

ariana, mama to beautiful redheaded girls (oct 07) and (nov 10)

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#8 of 10 Old 03-27-2010, 06:38 PM
 
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I really like this philosophy. Though it's not for me. (I know I'm a weirdo)

But ESPECIALLY when dealing with pregnancy and birth anxieties I can't just replace them with good thoughts. I also do think they serve a purpose.

Positive thinking is one thing and I am getting back into that groove but I also find I can NOT push my fears down with positive thoughts alone and I MUST work through them or they will come back later and kick me in the butt.

I am annoying like that though in general and want to deal with things head on though. (but I have had some traumas too surrounding my births as well, well mainly post birth..) it's better for me to let the fears come, just deal with my feelings then move on. I feel I am better prepared to deal with any unexpected trauma that way.

I also strongly believe some of these anxieties are hormonal AND instinctive and are good for us in a way physiologically.

There is a good chapter in the book Birthing From Within about working with dealing with anxieties and fears. I recommend it highly!

Blissful Mama to DD-(5), DS-(6) and someone new due in November!
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#9 of 10 Old 03-27-2010, 06:42 PM
 
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I LOVE this - it's just what I need to hear right now. I have been What if upping all day thanks to you.

Due Nov 2010 with baby #3
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#10 of 10 Old 03-27-2010, 11:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I LOVE this - it's just what I need to hear right now. I have been What if upping all day thanks to you.
That's so great to hear SummerLilies!! I'm so glad that this practice is helping, whether it be just a little or a whole lot. I feel a person's state of mind matters, real or imaginary hopefully What If upping can at least help keep you in a little better state of mind.

I've been What If Upping since my mother reminded me of it and I've noticed that it's totally working for me. I was having a lot of anxiety because this is my first pregancy, I'm a high risk, and was being scared out of my wits by a bleeding hemmorhoid. When I started putting it to use I felt some of my fears ease, and now that is evidencing in my body. I'm feeling better which is giving me more energy and putting me back to my usual self. Which is better for everyone, not just my little growing squirt ;D. I'm sending out love and blessings to you all and thinking "What if everyone gets everything they want!"

Life is always a rich and steady time when you are waiting for something to happen or to hatch.
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