Nursing mamas... again! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 16 Old 07-20-2010, 10:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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How's it going??

Sage has lost the ability to properly nurse, she sucks but it's not very effective but refuses to give up the breast. It's proving to be quite frustrating for me because at times (the past few days) it's really making my skin crawl. It's been hard getting her down for a nap and bed. I feel like a bad mama.

Nic, loving mama to 5 with a SURPRISE 6th on the way.

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#2 of 16 Old 07-20-2010, 11:52 PM
 
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We're still at it but I'm still wishing that we could be done soon. It just hurts so stinking much to have her latch on. We just do bedtime, but with her still sleeping next to me, she frequently latches on in the early morning hours - that I really want to stop. I just can't imagine that there is any milk there, but she doesn't say that anything is different. I have very mixed feelings when thinking of tandem nursing. On one hand, I think it could be a really cool bonding experience for the girls. But on the other, I have all those great doubts about making enough milk (which is pretty ridiculous in reality, but I still think it ). But, I just keep going with one day at a time. Hope to have her in a new bed by next week, so we'll see what happens then.
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#3 of 16 Old 07-21-2010, 12:38 AM
 
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Oh my goodness, I'm so happy to know that I'm not alone! My son is going to be three at the end of August and he has always been such a high-needs guy, and the breast has always been the #1 way he soothes. I can't believe how agitated I feel when he nurses. Annoyed, like I want to run away as fast as I can. I count in my head, grit my teeth and finally tell him to roll over. To which he replies "that's a mean thing to say!", when I ask what he would rather I say, he replies "you can have lots more boobie". He has always nursed to sleep, but lately it's taking him an hour to sleep and I am getting so annoyed.
Ughhh I feel like a horrible mother, but I can't believe how visceral the agitation is!! But then I think about weaning and I feel sad
I have always considered tandem nursing, but my biggest fear is that I will never have my hands free and that I will feel trapped!

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#4 of 16 Old 07-21-2010, 12:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Jodie, my daughter will be 3 in the beginning of August. She also always nursed to sleep... I've gotten so I can't nurse her for that long. I hate myself when she cries over it. It kills me but for my own sanity I can't nurse her for that long... and I swear she's lost her ability to suck properly. Can that happen? Even if they've nursed through? I've done the whole open your mouth wide thing... but it doesn't help with her suckling. I'm sad because I really wanted to tandem but the more we get into this the more I feel like weaning might be it, though I'm not ready to stop offering it to her for short bursts here and there throughout the day.

I'm surprised by how strong of a reaction I have to nursing her.. and my husband doesn't get it. He keeps asking me how I will feel about nursing a new baby, etc. I've tried explaining the hormonal connection to him but I don't think he's able to comprehend it or something!

Nic, loving mama to 5 with a SURPRISE 6th on the way.

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#5 of 16 Old 07-21-2010, 01:03 AM
 
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Hmmmm..... I wonder, if the milk is gone if that would change the sucking action. It makes sense to me. I'll check in my Adventures in tandem Nursing book to see what it says. Do you have that book??? It's awesome!!! i just received it and the first thing I read about was nursing agitation and how normal it is to feel that way-still can't believe how strong the feeling is though!
Yes, I agree-small nursing sessions throughout the day don't drive me crazy-it's the long going to sleep nursings that are so difficult. I think I'm starting to make colostrum though ( hearing some swallows) and from what I've read the agitation and pain gets better once the colostrum is being made!

Also-Nic-I read on another thread that you are having a UC-AWESOME!! One of my friends had 2 and I would love to send you her birth stories-very empowering!!!

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#6 of 16 Old 07-21-2010, 01:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm making colostrum... but she's not swallowing. I can easily express some out when I try... I'm not really in pain, it's just the sensation of someone playing with my nipples that I can't stand. It's like she's seriously lost her ability those weeks that I didn't have any milk.

I don't have adventures in tandem nursing but I've heard it's good!

(and I would love to read your friend's birth stories!! )

Nic, loving mama to 5 with a SURPRISE 6th on the way.

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#7 of 16 Old 07-21-2010, 01:20 AM
 
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Still nursing here, but down to 15-20 minutes in the morning upon waking and then about 30 seconds at night before bedtime...oh, and about 30 minutes anytime we're at the midwife's office :P Still incredibly painful for latch, especially on the left side, but that only lasts 10-15 seconds now, and then it's just mildly uncomfortable. DD1 (3y4mo) is really understanding about adjusting her latch, watching out for her teeth, fixing her position etc etc. I think she knows she's on thin ice, so to speak. She did start trying to twiddle the other side again this week, and I told her that was completely out of the question.

I could have sworn that I have no milk, and I cannot hand express even a drop, but last weekend DD skipped her morning nursing session and I definitely felt really "full" all day. Same thing happened one night this week when I was out at bedtime, and that's only a 30-second session. And DD *insists* that there's milk and that it's yummy, so I'm just taking her word for it.

As for Adventures in Tandem Nursing -- I found it pretty useless for the nursing while pregnant stuff and only mildly inspiring for the nursing two part. I do have a handful of friends who actually are tandeming, and I find them sooooo much more useful than that book! (But I realize that not everyone has quite that same level of access to other tandem nursers, so the book's a good option!)

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#8 of 16 Old 07-21-2010, 01:39 AM
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I have lots of mom friends who tandem, and they inspired me, but I think DD is weaning We went through the agitation, then she was biting me when she fell asleep (not sure if I'm more sensitive or what) and so we were just doing it less and less, just sort of nursing to sleep... then I had to take pain meds and so I just did the last part, rubbing her back and sining, and it worked fine. So we're not nursing now that I'm on meds, and I'm guessing this will be it I'm trying to not think about it so much b/c I'm already a mess this week. I hope we'll have a few little sessions later on, just to say goodbye to that nursing relationship in a better way. I think it was just getting to be time, for both of us. She's nearly 3 and a quarter so nothing to really feel bad about, I know! She's getting so independent in so many ways all of a sudden, I think it probably would have been happening around now anyway. She's been talking about giving the nursies to the new baby when he comes, anyway.
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#9 of 16 Old 07-21-2010, 02:36 AM
 
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I think we're weaned. Definitely only have colostrum, and no swallowing here, either. He isn't asking regularly, but once in a while - once or twice a week, TOPS, he asks, sucks for a minute, and is done.

Today we were talking (again) about the baby, and he was so amazingly sweet and excited as we talked about what the baby would eat. He first was telling me baby would get all the things he likes... applesauce, apples, peanut butter sandwiches... Then we got back to what he knows, that baby only gets mommy milk. And he gleefully exclaimed, "And there will be more milk and I will share mommy milk with the baby!" So it seems he's planning to tandem nurse. We'll see what really happens!

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#10 of 16 Old 07-21-2010, 12:01 PM
 
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We're weaned. I had no milk for months and now I have colostrum. She nursed a couple times last week and just giggled all through it saying it was funny.

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#11 of 16 Old 07-21-2010, 12:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This morning I made a concerted effort to get through a nursing session. She's not sucking because she's remembering all the times I yelped OW! when she did and I didn't have milk, so I told her to SUCK. She did.. not sure how much she got but it wasn't as crazy making as it has been recently. I still don't think I could go through hour long nursing sessions at this point.

Nic, loving mama to 5 with a SURPRISE 6th on the way.

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#12 of 16 Old 07-21-2010, 12:35 PM
 
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my LO is very weaned.. im not too sad about it.

 

 

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#13 of 16 Old 07-21-2010, 12:54 PM
 
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Nic - I definitely think that your daughter's inability to suck properly is because you're not producing as much milk. I remember that with my son when I was pregnant. It's like they're not getting anything, so they're just twiddling around the nipple in their mouth. I agree, it can be very frustrating.

It's been a while but I can also remember that after my dd was born, ds and she would nurse together and it was nice that I was able to comfort them both at the same time. It seems like it will be tiring but really it sort of gives you a break because they're both being satisfied (emotionally and physically) at the same time. Then when they're off the boob, they're happy.

Both of my kids nursed until they were 5, I'm looking forward to being a nursing mama again.

Lisa ~ Homeschooling mama to 9yo ds and 7yo dd both born at home and expecting #3 in November!
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#14 of 16 Old 07-21-2010, 01:31 PM
 
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Still nursing about 1-2 times a day. I only let him for about 10 seconds before I can't stand it anymore. There's no milk, and he isn't sucking properly either. And it HURTS! Part of me just wants to wean, the other part wants to keep going because I might change my mind once the baby is here and it won't hurt anymore.. and I'd like to nurse DS1 through the fall/winter with all of the yucky germs going around.

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#15 of 16 Old 07-21-2010, 01:47 PM
 
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respect to you who are still nursing...we stopped pretty soon after i got this BFP..about a month after DD turned 3.
I just could not stand the sensations and she was an extremely demanding nurser and wanted it so often that i started to see our nursing relationship as something bad..and i didnt want it to end on that note. I was horrified at the thought of trying to wean her-she really seemed totally unweanable-but it went just fine, i was so surprised and so happy.

Happy mama to my four girls S 8.15.02 , L 04.25.06 (gone at 36 weeks ) and L 3.10.07.And another rainbow! Baby C has arrived 10.26.10!
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#16 of 16 Old 07-21-2010, 04:17 PM
 
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We're still nursing here, but its down to only bedtime and morning. Sometimes a couple times in the middle of the day. But there really isn't any milk left, only a couple drops at a time.

My little guy tries so hard though, he keeps asking to switch "bee-pees" over and over hoping to get a couple extra drops and it seems he's sucking harder than ever before. I can't wait till I have some milk for him again. We started out the pregnancy with him still getting the vast majority of his hydration from me, he still wouldn't take water from a cup, so i feel bad that his nursing has been cut down so much.

He is finally sleeping through the night though, now that he is not nursing duirng the night anymore, which is a welcome change for me. He was still waking at least every two hours to nurse before that. It does still hurt, sometimes a lot when he latches on, but after a couple minutes it feels okay. Now if only I could get him to stop pinching the twisting the other one. That drives me nuts!
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