Who else is of the dreaded *Advanced Maternal Age*? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 36 Old 04-20-2010, 04:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I know there are at least a few of us. Maybe we can share some of the joys, pains, and absurdities that come from being a little extra "wise"!

Anyone doing anything differently from previous pregnancies, or having to fight for the kind of pregnancy/birth you want because of your age? Anyone else noticing all the younger mamas out there and feeling wistful for their younger selves? Or do you feel empowered by all that you know and have experienced?

AFM, I feel pretty young at heart, mind, and body, but it's hard to ignore the slight weirdness of being a first-time mama at age 37 . I didn't intend for that to be the case - but here I am.

Happily muddled mom to baby Kiki, 11/2010

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#2 of 36 Old 04-20-2010, 04:43 PM
 
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Me me! I'll be 40 in a couple weeks.
Truthfully I didn't know I was getting old until they told me so when I was pregnant with DS (I was 36 when he was born.)
It was easy, I am in good shape and eat well.

Me jammin.gif DH  REPlaySkateboard04HL.gifDS 06/06 superhero.gif ...MC 2/9 11/9 5/10
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#3 of 36 Old 04-20-2010, 05:10 PM
 
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I just turned 37 and I am happy to be the age I am. I do think I need to exercise more to avoid physically "getting old" I think people sometimes take fitness for granted when they're young and are sedentary and end up aging really fast when they hit a certain age (DH's and my mothers are prime examples of this) and I really want to avoid that.

DH and I are young at heart and I think we look pretty young for our ages and being older, we both feel like we're not missing anything going to bed at 9:30 on a Saturday night, we love it. I have known other mothers who had their kids young and they seem to feel to some extent like they're giving up too much me-time to be moms (or NOT giving it up, to the detriment of their kids) whereas DH and I were wild in our 20s and we are thrilled to be present for our lil monkey in our 30s with no regrets. It's great.

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#4 of 36 Old 04-20-2010, 06:22 PM
 
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I'm an old 37-year-old lady too.

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#5 of 36 Old 04-20-2010, 06:27 PM
 
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Your post title made me smile.

I am going to be 40 next month and it's becoming pretty clear to me the role that the hospitals/doctors/medical community have played in my last pregnancy at age 38. They sort of made me feel as if I had three heads instead of just another woman having a baby.

Luckily for me, this time, I'm going with a very common sense approach midwife who is about a year older than I am and had a baby (her 5th also) herself not that long ago (also at home).

When I asked about my age and how it might play into a homebirth, she didn't laugh at me (of course), but laughed at the notion that my age should have anything to do with it. I liked her immediately!

I am realizing that the older I get it's really a good idea that I have this baby at home. I had my first baby when I was 21 and pretty much just did what I was told and didn't have the nerve to question what I perceived as authority. Now, 20 years later I feel free to question everything and everyone and perceive almost no one as having authority over me. Basically I take crap from no one. Thinking back to all the crappy "rules" I've experienced during 4 hospital births, I know for sure I couldn't take it again. And I'm pretty sure they couldn't take me either.

The only real problem with getting old is that I get worried about having less and less time to live. I have a blissfully happy life every. single. day and I hate to think of that someday coming to an end. It used to seem as if soooo much time lay ahead of me and sometimes it seems like I can watch it shrink! Slloooowww down, time!

Tracy
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#6 of 36 Old 04-20-2010, 10:55 PM
 
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I'll be 42 next month. I had my first at 34, and my second at 37, so Im used to being a bit older

I'm not doing much differently this time, just exhausted with 2 active boys to keep up with

~Shawnna~ Lucas 11/02 Wyatt 10/05
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#7 of 36 Old 04-21-2010, 03:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by enigo View Post
Me me! I'll be 40 in a couple weeks.
Truthfully I didn't know I was getting old until they told me so when I was pregnant with DS (I was 36 when he was born.)
It was easy, I am in good shape and eat well.
Hi Enigo! It's sooo great to see you here!

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I just turned 37 and I am happy to be the age I am. I do think I need to exercise more to avoid physically "getting old" I think people sometimes take fitness for granted when they're young and are sedentary and end up aging really fast when they hit a certain age (DH's and my mothers are prime examples of this) and I really want to avoid that.

DH and I are young at heart and I think we look pretty young for our ages and being older, we both feel like we're not missing anything going to bed at 9:30 on a Saturday night, we love it. I have known other mothers who had their kids young and they seem to feel to some extent like they're giving up too much me-time to be moms (or NOT giving it up, to the detriment of their kids) whereas DH and I were wild in our 20s and we are thrilled to be present for our lil monkey in our 30s with no regrets. It's great.
I completely agree with all of this. I too, need to be more vigilant about exercise. And I've also become much more of a 'nester' as I've aged, so adding in a kid or two seems like a transition I'm (more than) ready for!

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Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
I'm an old 37-year-old lady too.
Hi Annette! btw, do twins run in your family?

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I am realizing that the older I get it's really a good idea that I have this baby at home. I had my first baby when I was 21 and pretty much just did what I was told and didn't have the nerve to question what I perceived as authority. Now, 20 years later I feel free to question everything and everyone and perceive almost no one as having authority over me. Basically I take crap from no one. Thinking back to all the crappy "rules" I've experienced during 4 hospital births, I know for sure I couldn't take it again. And I'm pretty sure they couldn't take me either.
Tracy
Thanks for your wisdom, mama. You sound like a force to be reckoned with! And I hear you on feeling the passing of time.

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I'll be 42 next month. I had my first at 34, and my second at 37, so Im used to being a bit older

I'm relieved to see a few mamas here who didn't start having babes until their mid 30s. Gives me hope.

Happily muddled mom to baby Kiki, 11/2010

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#8 of 36 Old 04-21-2010, 03:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by tinynyota View Post
Hi Annette! btw, do twins run in your family?
Nope. Just a hazard of the elderly having sex, I suppose.

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#9 of 36 Old 04-21-2010, 04:17 PM
 
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I forgot to post here! I'm an "old" mamma too, lol! I'm 37 and I'll turn 38 during this pregnancy. I don't really feel old, although I do echo the sentiment of feeling like I'm running out of time and time flies too fast!!!! This is baby 5 for us, so I've had the experience of a baby at 22, 27, 31, and 33!! I too think about being around "long enough" for my kids. I lost my mom at 18. But I was so lucky to have her for the time I did. She was a huge impact on my life even for the short time she was with me. So I try to remember that, that we moms are a "big deal" to our kids for whatever length of time we are here.

Mom of 5 working full-time and waiting to go to nursing school! Whew! I need a nap! joy.gif

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#10 of 36 Old 04-21-2010, 06:07 PM
 
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I'm 41 and my DD will be turning 1 next month. My pregnancy was easy, my labor was three days long but otherwise normal, and my baby healthy. All my life I've exercised and eaten healthy, and that paid off. My OB never labeled me "high-risk" or made any other pronouncements based on my age. My DH and I will be trying for baby #2 as soon as my cycles return.

The good thing about waiting this long to have babies is that I'd sown my wild oats already and am perfectly happy to be at home with my baby. But I have two regrets. One is that my parents are elderly now; actually, my father passed away last month. My daughter will never be able to enjoy being spoiled by her grandfather.

My other regret is that I'm too old for more than one more pregnancy. I love being a mommy and wish I'd become one much sooner.

Mother of Mosole 5/23/2009
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#11 of 36 Old 04-21-2010, 10:14 PM
 
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I'll join the crew!

I'm 40 and am pregnant with my third. I'm still trying to get my head around whether there is anything different this time (had my first at 31 and second at 35). I'm more worried about the health of the baby with these darned "old eggs" and hoping that I'll make it to delivery with my higher risk of miscarriage. But if all goes well, I can't wait to experience pregnancy and the early years again.

I am considering doing some testing which I normally don't do, but am still hoping for a homebirth.

Nice to see you all. I definitely think I appreciate the company


Angie
Mama to Finn 6/01 and Theo 4/05 and hoping for an elf 12/10

Angie, Mama to Finn (6/01) and Theo (4/05)
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#12 of 36 Old 04-22-2010, 12:44 AM
 
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Yup, I'm in...I'll be 40 next month and had big plans for the B-day but I am wiped out and extra sensitive so the party will be more like a siesta than a fiesta!

I also worry about the age thing and have been calculating my kid's future milestones and then seeing how old I'll be, but here I am and there's no return, so, I'll just have to find a way to hire out the things that make me tired... like cleaning, cooking, reading (there's books on tape, right?)

I actually love being this age. I know what's important to me and how to make it happen. I won't be doing too much different for the birth but focusing more on the parenting and how the kids will adjust. Had DD at 35 with a midwife in the hospital and family and inlaws there, DS at 37 with a midwife at the birth center and no family and this little one (hoping it's only 1) most likely at home-I'd keep it a secret until way after the birth but I am showing like a watermelon right now!

Off to bed. Good luck ladies of advanced age. Isn't 40 the new 30?

Nancy
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#13 of 36 Old 04-22-2010, 03:29 AM
 
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I'll be turning 37 two days before my due date, but I expect to have already had the baby by then. My other two have both been early. I had my first at 31 and second at 34. DH wants a fourth after this one. We'll see.

They don't make such a big deal of advanced maternal age here, or at least I don't think they do. My midwife is really on the fringes and isn't a by the book sort of person. I'll be having a homebirth with her, as I did last time. My first was also born at home, but that was in California.

I do get the nuchal translucency (is that what they call it there?) test for free now. I had to pay for it last time because I was still young and fresh.

Sarah, mother to Eloïse (5/2005), Lucas (3/2008) and Ilias (7/2011), and due with #4 (March 1, 2014)

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#14 of 36 Old 04-22-2010, 03:57 AM
 
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Hi, I'm not pregnant at this moment, but just saw your thread title and had to post . I had my first DS at 40 and it was the easiest, quickest, and most painless (thank you epidural) pregnancy ever. I never felt that I was treated as an older patient and only thing I had to do different than younger moms-to-be was to go in every other day after 40 weeks to be checked since the u/s showed my baby at 11lbs!! Guess those things are way off in predicting...he was only 8lbs.

Kate, Wife to DH and Mommy to a 5yo lovin' DS; three angels 4/08 9/08 3/10 in Heaven,
waitin' for my baby

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#15 of 36 Old 04-22-2010, 09:24 AM
 
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I just turned 38 last week and am expecting my first. Honestly, I couldn't imagine being pregnant or ready to be a mom before now. And now it seems it's exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.

I am a little worried about the whole "high risk" thing. I haven't had an appointment yet and am wondering how they determine that. I'm not sure if I want a homebirth, but I would like to have the option. I would like to have some of the genetic testing, but other than that I'm really hoping for a low-key pregnancy. (Is that naive?)
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#16 of 36 Old 04-22-2010, 02:21 PM
 
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Looks like I'm the oldest one here!

~Shawnna~ Lucas 11/02 Wyatt 10/05
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#17 of 36 Old 04-22-2010, 08:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by NeverBeenHappier View Post
Basically I take crap from no one. Thinking back to all the crappy "rules" I've experienced during 4 hospital births, I know for sure I couldn't take it again. And I'm pretty sure they couldn't take me either. Tracy
This is totally me. I never had a hospital birth, but I did have an OB appointment before I get a midwife (I was on a waiting list, they're hard to get here) and the medical community in general does not appreciate my "question everything" attitude

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Nope. Just a hazard of the elderly having sex, I suppose.


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The good thing about waiting this long to have babies is that I'd sown my wild oats already and am perfectly happy to be at home with my baby. But I have two regrets. One is that my parents are elderly now; actually, my father passed away last month. My daughter will never be able to enjoy being spoiled by her grandfather.

My other regret is that I'm too old for more than one more pregnancy. I love being a mommy and wish I'd become one much sooner.
to all of this. BOTH of DD's grandfathers passed away relatively young, but I was only 30 when mine died, DH was still in his twenties, but it's hard. I would also like to have started having babies sooner, but I met DH when I was 31 (I think?) and I would not have wanted to have kids with anyone else, I was married before and I thank God often that no kids came from that relationship!!

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I am considering doing some testing which I normally don't do.
Yes we need to discuss this amongst our old selves when we get to that point!! (which is soon!!)

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Off to bed. Good luck ladies of advanced age. Isn't 40 the new 30?
It is, except we go to bed a little earlier if we get the chance!! Hah! The old-ladies-having-babies club!

Mama to DD 4/06 notes2.gif  new DS stork-boy.gif born 17/12/10 familybed2.gifnovaxnocirc.gif
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#18 of 36 Old 04-22-2010, 09:04 PM
 
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Hello! I haven't been to MCD for a long time, but just today I found out I am pregnant with our third! I am 40 years old, will be 41 when this little one is born. I had my first at 36 and my second at 38. My OB was amazing, but we have since moved to a different country, and due to all kinds of immigration setbacks, I am without health care for now. I kind of feel like flying blind, going into this without my trusted OB and without any real options for prenatal care. Starting tomorrow, DH and I are going to actively research our options. As you may have guessed, this little bean has kind of caught us by surprise!

~Iris~ Catholic mama to DD1 11/15/05 * DD2 04/28/08 * brokenheart.gif06/23/2010 * and our little rainbow DS 10/07/11 love.gif
 

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#19 of 36 Old 04-22-2010, 11:08 PM
 
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I guess I'm technically AMA. My sister was saying something today about AMA being over 30? Good grief, Charlie Brown!

I was 34 when I had our DD, and will be 36 by the time this little One shows up.

Intent is for homebirth. My only prenatal care will be a nutritionist and midwife, as long as everything goes as smoothly as last time (which I expect it will).

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#20 of 36 Old 04-23-2010, 12:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Woo hooo! Look at all of us over here.
Welcome!!

Happily muddled mom to baby Kiki, 11/2010

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#21 of 36 Old 04-23-2010, 07:26 PM
 
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Nope. Just a hazard of the elderly having sex, I suppose.
This is hilarious!
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#22 of 36 Old 04-23-2010, 08:20 PM
 
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elderly having sex! BAHAHAHA!!! That's what happened to us too.... oops! Guess we're not as elderly as we thought!

Mom of 5 working full-time and waiting to go to nursing school! Whew! I need a nap! joy.gif

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#23 of 36 Old 05-02-2010, 03:48 PM
 
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Just bumping this up. I'm 8 weeks, no morning sickness, just tired and hungry. I'm still waiting to tell most, except for parents and 2 friends, but it's strange to just wait.

My clothes are starting to feel tight and I feel like I have 2 more weeks until I'll feel more clear about whether the pregnancy will stick and whether we can share the news. Definitely in limbo land.

And soon thereafter, the possible testing gauntlet will begin. I think we did the AFP with our first, mostly b/c they told us to, none with the second one at 35, but now at 40, I feel like I need to do some, especially to make sure that a homebirth seems prudent. I was thinking of the nuchal translucency, but a good friend is really suggesting amnio for severe birth defects. I don't want to think about it at all. I don't even have a practitioner yet, but think I know who I want.

What are the rest of you ladies up to?

Angie, Mama to Finn (6/01) and Theo (4/05)
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#24 of 36 Old 05-02-2010, 06:32 PM
 
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I haven't told anyone yet. I am waiting until about 3 mths or at least until my 1st midwife appt. which is fairly close to that. Luckily I will have the same midwife as last time and was able to schedule the NT before my 1st appt. so we'll have some things to go over when I see her. I am not sure about an amnio. I think I would have it if my statistics are high with the NT but will have to wait until then.

Definately the clothes are tight by the end of the day...I am already looking like 4mths especially after a big meal. The morning sickness is easing a little but pretty much has been lasting all day.

I am also in Limbi land just waiting to get a little further along.
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#25 of 36 Old 05-03-2010, 02:56 AM
 
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Hi all,
I'm 42-turning 43 in June.
Due 12/12 with #12...hopefully our 8th living child.

Planning another home waterbirth and will decline nuchal translucency, quad-screen, gbs, and GD screenings.

We told our kids on Easter when I was about three weeks and told the world soon thereafter (thank you FB and Delphi NFP discussion Board!)

Grateful for this blessing...exhausted...excited!
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#26 of 36 Old 05-03-2010, 01:46 PM
 
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I'm 35 and I had my first at 33, so I'll be interested to see what's different about how I'm treated having reached the threshhold. I definitely intend to decline the amnio they will recommend.

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Nope. Just a hazard of the elderly having sex, I suppose.
Interesting thing about twins. It is true that young moms (late teens and early 20s) and older moms (late 30s to early 40s) have a higher incidence of fraternal twins, because their bodies have a greater tendency to ovulate two eggs on any given cycle. It is also true that any woman will ovulate two eggs on some cycle in her lifetime, sometimes a few times, so therefore any woman has the possibility of having fraternal twins. Fraternal twins are said to "run" in a family if the women in that family have an inherited trait that causes them to ovulate multiple eggs on many cycles, thus making it more likely that a twin pregnancy will result.

As for identicals, scientists still have no clue why a fertilized egg will sometimes divide and create identical twins. Therefore, identicals cannot be said to "run" in a family, and anyone can have them!

Twins are awesome. Congrats Annette!

Lacy 35 and Chris 35, DS Jakob 2, and EDD 1/1/11
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#27 of 36 Old 05-03-2010, 02:42 PM
 
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I'm 35, will be 36 by the time baby arrives. I haven't been to the practitioner yet, so I can't say how I'll be treated. I'm torn about amnio. I like the definitiveness of knowing for sure if there are concerns, plus I'd know gender right away! On the other hand, there's the risk of introducing infection. Blergh. Decisions.

Plus our ins. coverage is really only good for emergencies - we have a high deductible (the joy of being self-employed). How much is this all going to cost me?
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#28 of 36 Old 05-03-2010, 02:43 PM
 
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Your OB should be able to tell you. My doc says $2500 for a vaginal birth and $3100 for c-section, and that's a global fee for all visits, tests, and the delivery. That doesn't include hospital charges, ultrasounds, stuff like that though.

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#29 of 36 Old 08-06-2010, 07:05 PM
 
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AMA mom here!

I'll be 36 when this kid's born. If I have another, I'm aiming for under 40. I just don't think I'd have the energy if I waited much longer!

Opted not to have CVS or amnio done. I wanted the 20 week u/s yesterday to be the last one but the midwife says my placenta's low lying and I'll probably have to do another at 32 weeks (I'm gonna keep track of that sucker with the fetoscope until then!). She also wants me to do a fetal echocardiogram...I think she said since I didn't do the amnio. Is that why it would be recommended? She woke me up when she called so it was one of those half-retained conversations.

Our Tiger Cub arrived 12/29/10
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#30 of 36 Old 08-06-2010, 11:12 PM
 
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I love you ladies!! I will be officially AMA when I am due!! I turn 35 in October and due in December. This is my first and I think its great!! I feel good and spirited. I have and am declining all interventions and testing, planning a HB and really just trust in the process. It is hard not to look at younger moms and dream about what that would be like. I think I am always wondering what it is like to walk in others shoes though. With that being said, I would have done this no other way. I feel I have had a rich life and can provide a foundation I would not have been able to provide any earlier. This I remember and am thankful for daily.

More power to the AMA's mamas!!

Owlgirl w/ life partner of 7 years & Nadia Avani 12/18/10.
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