Finding out the sex of baby? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 12:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Do we already have this thread? My apologies if we do...

But if not, who is and who isn't? Before we got pregnant and even the first few weeks after we found out, I was adamant about not finding out. I've switched sides lately I have SUCH a strong feeling that it's a girl and I want confirmation! I'm so darn impatient!! DH would be fine not knowing and may choose not to find out even if I do (not sure if that'd work out, but that's what he says anyway ).

So for me, I'd say there's about an 85% chance I'm finding out, but I won't rule out the possibility that I may find some willpower somewhere deep, deep inside

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#2 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 12:43 PM
 
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With my DD, I had such a strong feeling that the baby was a girl that I felt I needed to find out - if the baby were a boy, that would be fine, but it would help to have the extra time to "reframe" my thinking.

I want to find out this time because I have a strong preference (though no inklings), so once again I think it would be helpful to have time to reframe in case the results aren't what I'm hoping for...

We may not share the info w/anyone else, we haven't decided that yet.

Plus it's still a surprise, you just get surprised just many weeks earlier than you would otherwise

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#3 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 12:47 PM
 
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I'm going to wait. I like surprises, but I'm pretty sure this is a girl. I was temping and we DTD 5 days before I ovulated. So, pretty sure those strong swimming girls made it to the finish line while the male sperm long died days before.

Whatever you decide is up to you. If you can't wait I'd take a peek.

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#4 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 12:49 PM
 
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We will be waiting *again.* With DD, I really wanted to know, DH convinced me to wait. I can honestly say that even though I was totally against the idea, (and it practically KILLED me) I am so glad I waited!

I know, I know, people like to plan. BUT the most amazing words I have ever heard were my husband saying "It's a girl!" We had it in our birth plan for him to make the announcement. The funny thing is I was so caught up in the birth I had forgotten to even ask! Gender was the last thing on my mind.

I think it's like waiting for Christmas presents. Yeah, you can cheat and look early, but *IMHO* it detracts from the Big Day. And, believe it or not, I have friends IRL who truly regretted finding out.

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#5 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 12:49 PM
 
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I'll be finding out, mostly because this is baby #9 and I need to figure out how we'll rearrange the house. Plus it is a nice way for the older children to bond before birth.

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#6 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 12:52 PM
 
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We're definitely finding out. We agreed on that long before I got pg, and now I really want to see what we're having. Neither DH nor I have a preference either way; both of us just want a healthy baby. The way I see it, it's a surprise if you find out at 20 weeks or 40 weeks; why not find out earlier?

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#7 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 12:59 PM
 
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My DH recently announced that he for sure wants to know the sex ahead of time. I don't. I also really don't want any ultrasounds, unless medically indicated (like, suspecting twins or previa or something). I have no idea what we'll do. For now, I say we're not finding out, because DH can't seem to articulate any reason for finding out beyond, "I want to". Either way, I think I might try to figure out a way to keep myself in the dark even if he knows. I have no idea how that will work, but hey.

For greater things are yet to come...

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#8 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 01:01 PM
 
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With DD, we waited and found out at her birth and it was amazing, DH was the one to announce it and we were so excited, we had thought she was a boy so when he said "girl!" that moment was really special. This time, we're going to find out if we can because we just want to be somewhat prepared if it's a boy we have some buying to do, unless we want him wearing a lot of pink (which I'm not really against ) plus I kinda want a girl and if we're having a boy I would appreciate the time to get used to the idea.

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#9 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 01:05 PM
 
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we're not finding out this time - we were surprised with our first and found out with our 2nd and it was way more fun for us to find out at delivery...

I'm a little nervous 'cause I'm a planner, but I figure I have tons of boy stuff, so I'll just wash it all just in case, and buy a few girly things, I can always return them if it's another boy, right?

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#10 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 01:11 PM
 
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Nope. We're waiting til the little babe is born to know. It's the last great suprise. Besides, those ultrasounds can be wrong.
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#11 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 02:00 PM
 
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I would slightly (very slightly) prefer to not find out. However, I decided that I would leave that decision up to my DH, just to make him happy. At this point, he wants to find out, and I'm okay with that! I am not into really gender-specific clothing or anything though, so the gender is not going to affect the kind of things I buy for the baby.

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#12 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 02:03 PM
 
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We're finding out. The babies' gender will determine if we need to look for a 4 or 5 bedroom house. Plus I have my heart set on at least one more girl and want to prep myself if it's two boys.

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#13 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 02:42 PM
 
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nope we are not finding out! dp wants to wait, this will be his only child. i found out with my last one, ds! and i have to say something is just lost when the dr said its a boy!! i was like just told you that 2 mins ago??? ( before thay pulled him out they asked me do you know what it is)

dp said "I really wants a boy but I know its a girl, so let me live the alshtion(sp) for as long as I can ok?" I was like "oh ok. it still could be a boy", I think we ARE having a girl...time will tell

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#14 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 03:00 PM
 
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i will absolutely find out! i need to know so i can prepare. whether we tell others...i don't know. but i just have to know! already have the ultrasound appt scheduled for july 8th. CAN"T WAIT!!!

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#15 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 03:59 PM
 
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I will find out. I'm too much of a planner to wait. In fact, the thought of not finding out freaks me out. I know for most of human history, knowing sex ahead of time wasn't an option and people did fine and blah blah blah. But I need to know. If I could, I'd find out now so that I'd have 7 months to plan everything instead of just 4.

Semi-crunchy Mama to three happy, healthy girls - T(6/08), A (12/10) and B (12/10)
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#16 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 04:01 PM
 
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I am a planner to the extreme. We have a ton of boy stuff and I think this may be a girl, so I will need to hit up my friends that have had girls for some clothes and I want to know that ahead of time.

I am doing a HBAC, so for me, getting a baby out of my vagina will be so dang exciting that the gender would be an afterthought.

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#17 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 04:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am doing a HBAC, so for me, getting a baby out of my vagina will be so dang exciting
Me too! I'm already trying to decide if it would be inappropriate to have "I just pushed a XXlb, XXin baby out of my vagina at home" as my Facebook status

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#18 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 04:52 PM
 
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I didn't want to find out, and DH really, really, really does. I also don't want u/s unless medically necessary. So, we've sort of compromised...we're going to wait to find out until 25 or even 30 weeks. And then we're, somehow, going to ask for just a quick u/s. Find that out, and move on. I don't want to know anything else. Which might mean that we have to go to one of those u/s boutiques...which I LOATHE...idk, exactly. I will discuss it with the midwives tomorrow.

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#19 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 06:01 PM
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I think we'll probably find out. Our first 3 were surprises. It was fun but I preferred finding out like we did with the next 2. The older kids liked knowing who was coming. And if we mange to get a girl this time, we'll need some winter girl clothes. My only DD was bornin the summer and I have nothing except sundresses and onsies in NB and 0-3 month sizes.

 
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#20 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 06:32 PM
 
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We are not going to find out the sex. My SO could probably have gone either way quite happily, but I really feel strongly that this creature will spend the rest of its life having to live up to gender norms and expectations (or struggling against them) and I would like to give it just a brief nine month reprieve from that.

And to be honest, I'm giving *myself* a reprieve from it too. I can't believe I've already had to have a discussion with a family-member-in-law about whether or not infants "KNOW" what type of gendered clothing they are wearing!? Seriously. Person in question claims a child with a penis will know and somehow be disturbed or harmed by being dressed in a dress. Holy crap.

Maybe I just have too many trans/queer/non-gender conforming friends... because I am sometimes appalled at the things people think/say.

After all, when it comes right down to it, you can find out what variety of genitals your child-in-utero has, but you have no way of knowing what their gender identity will be!

On a practical note, for those of us who fall into the gender-neutral part of the spectrum, not knowing means you may avoid being gifted all those horrendously stereotypically gendered pink princess or camo GI Joe outfits.

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#21 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 06:43 PM
 
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We have a midwife appt today and she asked if we want to find out at the u/s..
We are NOT going to find out! This is baby number 5 for me and number 6 for dh. We have known with 3 of our 4 and really it does not matter either way to us as long as babe is healthy. I am taking any and all offer for clothes boy or girl! My guess is girl though, with my 3 girls I had nausea and morning sickness with our boy none, I have nausea again this time so I guess girl

Mama to SDD (12), DD (8), DD (6), DD, (4), DS (3) and new little babe arriving Dec. We are in the process of building our cob home and homestead
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#22 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 06:47 PM
 
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I'm still not sure. We're thinking of having the ultrasound tech write it down and seal it in an envelope. Then if we change our minds we can find out sometime after 20 weeks but before 40. Plus buying plenty of gender neutral clothing will be a cost savings when we have #2 (or 3...4...5? No more than 5.)

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#23 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 07:25 PM
 
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Originally Posted by wholewheatchick View Post
I didn't want to find out, and DH really, really, really does. I also don't want u/s unless medically necessary. So, we've sort of compromised...we're going to wait to find out until 25 or even 30 weeks. And then we're, somehow, going to ask for just a quick u/s. Find that out, and move on. I don't want to know anything else. Which might mean that we have to go to one of those u/s boutiques...which I LOATHE...idk, exactly. I will discuss it with the midwives tomorrow.

ohhhh I would go to a doc's office over a U/S boutique...I have heard that many of those using the machines are not trained well and that they can actually expose the baby to more U/S than in a doc's office. Here I know there are offices that will do "just a quick" U/S.

Though I will freely admit it's not an issue I've done a lot of research on...I am of the mindset that I *want* the ultrasound so that if the baby has some sort of med. condition that's identifiable on U/S, I will know and can plan to birth in a hospital if necessary.

Also, I want to know the gender because this time I have a very strong inkling and preference, and so do the children, and I would need definite time to reframe my thinking and get them used to the idea. I also think it's great for the siblings to know and bond and I like choosing a name...also for buying stuff, it is fun to know.

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#24 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 07:34 PM
 
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The first two I did not find out and it was really fantastic not knowing.It really wasn't even important until about 5 minutes after DS was born. I would wait if it was just me but I think it might be important to my kids to find out this time. If I do find out, i'll probably not tell anyone but our little family and i won't tell the kids until maybe about 8mths or so.
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#25 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 07:41 PM
 
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On a practical note, for those of us who fall into the gender-neutral part of the spectrum, not knowing means you may avoid being gifted all those horrendously stereotypically gendered pink princess or camo GI Joe outfits.
That's exactly why we are considering NOT telling anyone! We are personally purchasing all (or at least mostly) gender neutral stuff.

I really really really want to know and if I could find out today I would. I only have a few more weeks to wait and it seems like forever. I have a very slight preference for a boy, but it doesn't really matter to me which one it is, I'm just so curious to know! We do have a boy name practically set in stone, but we are really struggling with our girl names. It would be nice to know whether or not we need to continue trying to choose a girl name. Lame, I know.

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#26 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 07:57 PM
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Also, I want to know the gender because this time I have a very strong inkling and preference, and so do the children, and I would need definite time to reframe my thinking and get them used to the idea. I also think it's great for the siblings to know and bond and I like choosing a name...also for buying stuff, it is fun to know.

This is a big one for us. ALL the kids want a sister. I keep telling them that there's no guarantee. But I do have a feeling that it'll take some time to get used to the idea of another boy (especially for DD) if that's the case. Definitely want to find out and get the idea planted one way or another. Instead of having to deal with my kids grumpiness at not getting their way right after the birth. DH and I would love either. And I know the kids will too and they do enjoy helping with names and finding outfit for the coming baby.

 
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#27 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 08:10 PM
 
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On a practical note, for those of us who fall into the gender-neutral part of the spectrum, not knowing means you may avoid being gifted all those horrendously stereotypically gendered pink princess or camo GI Joe outfits.
This was one of the best parts of not being able to tell people the gender! I had some "boy" suspicions, and shared them, but no one wanted to commit to anything outrageously one "gender" or the other, which was lovely.

For greater things are yet to come...

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#28 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 08:30 PM
 
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i found out with my first 3 girls, and chose not to find out with my son. Going 42 weeks killed me, and when i was 39 weeks, i almost caved to ask what i was having.

I am unsure this time. It was sooooo much fun not finding out. LIke SOOOOOOO much fun. it drove everyone around me nuts, and i love driving people crazy. THere is not much i can do these days, to really irriate my mom. LOL
Also, with my son, i was sooo wrong. we both thought we were having a girl, and never even discussed boy names. I joked about naming him Diesel, when i was about 20 weeks pregnant, and when he was born, it was the only name that was ever brought up, so that was his name.

I think i will wait. Maybe no. ummm yes i will wait. But it is sooo hard... Nope, i must wait!

Melissa- homeschooling mom to Samantha ( 9) Gabby ( 8) Emma (6) and Diesel (12 months) and Rachel Rebecca Brock Erik Joe Noah 6-25-10 5 early miscarriages
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#29 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 09:14 PM
 
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We haven't found out with either of the other 2 and I love it. That said, I do want to find out this time! I won't, I know I *truly* don't want to know. I love the anticipation, guessing, and suspense too much. I would like to be able to tell DD what to expect, she really, really wants a sister. DS doesn't care either way, he's 2. We've just told DD (4.5) that we get what ever baby God gives us and we'll have to wait to see what it is and what it looks like. She's very accepting of that so I hope it's not a disappointment to her if it is another brother. She really, really wanted a sister last time too and refused to talk to anyone that suggested that it might be anything other than a sister. She was only 18 months when we got pregnant too! She was at the birth and saw him come out and heard that it was a boy and I never heard another mention of a sister, she instantly loved her brother. I'm hopeful that that happens again.

So basically, something in me wants to know this time, but we won't find out.

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#30 of 59 Old 05-25-2010, 09:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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After all, when it comes right down to it, you can find out what variety of genitals your child-in-utero has, but you have no way of knowing what their gender identity will be!
This is why I said "sex" of the baby and not gender I'm conscious of these issues myself, much to the chagrin of many family members and friends who don't understand why I'd paint DS's nails (b/c he wanted me to and thought it was pretty!)

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