Anyone getting squirrelly thinking about the birth? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 26 Old 08-16-2010, 03:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I know it's early and we'll probably touch on this later, but I get these little flashes of "OMG I have to do that again!!!" when I think about labour. Mostly I am excited and looking forward to it, but there's no denying it was tough and I found it kinda scary (maybe 2nd time not so much?) and I wasn't loving pushing, which I did for a looooong time with DD. So mostly I'm "yay!" but every once in a while I think about it and I get butterflies in my stomach and I'm "uh oh!!" I am confident I will find my courage again and it will go well, but...

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#2 of 26 Old 08-16-2010, 03:47 PM
 
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I am - but I am vbacing. So I have no idea what to expect, but my first birth experience was pretty miserable, so I always have in the back of my mind that it might happen again.

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#3 of 26 Old 08-16-2010, 03:56 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lillymonster View Post
I am - but I am vbacing. So I have idea what to expect, but my first birth experience was pretty miserable, so I always have in the back of my mind that it might happen again.
Ditto.

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#4 of 26 Old 08-16-2010, 03:58 PM
 
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Most women I know pushed for a lonnnnnng time with their first but a very short time with each subsequent labor. For me, my first was 1 hour and 10 minutes of pushing time; my other three vaginal births were 5-10 minutes of pushing each.

I'm HBACing this time but I think I've gotten past the worrying part and now I'm looking forward to being in my own home, with my Christmas lights on, listening to my music, and birthing in my own bedroom. I'll probably get squirrelly as I get closer but right now I'm feeling pretty good.

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#5 of 26 Old 08-16-2010, 04:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by nova22 View Post
Most women I know pushed for a lonnnnnng time with their first but a very short time with each subsequent labor. For me, my first was 1 hour and 10 minutes of pushing time; my other three vaginal births were 5-10 minutes of pushing each.
So the midwife said and I do find it encouraging, I would have to check the record to see exactly how long I pushed, but it had to be more than 4 hours...an hour would be a treat!!

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#6 of 26 Old 08-16-2010, 04:44 PM
 
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My last birth was amazing and I am so excited to do it again. I've had some not so pleasant experiences in hospital, but my homebirth was my healing birth and I felt like super woman. I am so addicted to the birth buzz, and with my homebirth the buzz lasted for days, if not weeks. I was on cloud 9. I'm so looking forward to doing it again.

My births got progressively better with each one and I think it had everything to do with my expectation and confidence. I was so scared and intimidated the first time and it made for a bad experience where I was quite taken advantage of. The more babies i had, the more they took me seriously in the hospital and I knew what to expect and knew a little more about how to go within myself and do it my way. I remember my 4th hospital birth, it was pitocin induced, but no pain meds, and the midwife told me I could start pushing, but I told her, "no, not yet, I don't have the urge yet." And I waited 30 mins at fully complete before pushing. She looked a little taken aback, but being my 4th, she let me do what I was going to do. She was nervous and kept asking, "do you feel the urge to push yet?". I just calmly told her, "no, not yet". If that had been my first, I'd have totally done as I was told and would have ended up having a much harder time no doubt.

Then when I started pushing, and baby started crowning, she said, "how does that feel?" I don't know if she was worried that I had a lip or something. Anyway, I was in the zone and enjoying having the adrenaline to push and I was totally on top of it, and I answered honestly, "it feels good!" and she laughed at me. She told her nurse, "she must be remembering the feeling of the baby's head being delivered and is looking forward to the relief again". But no, that's not what I meant. It was sore of course, but it also felt very good to be active and pushing with my body and doing what it was designed to do. It felt right.

Just having the extra confidence made it a much better experience. Being more in control. And when you are confident, your care providers will pick up on that, and it will help.

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#7 of 26 Old 08-16-2010, 05:32 PM
 
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Oh Yes!
But mostly becuase I know I will be having a cesarean and am really really really not looking forward to that. Getting cut wide open and then the recovery afterwards?
Last time I had tons of support and my DH was off work and I still was a wreck. This time DH may or may not be able to get off work and the support is not as available and so I am SCARED!
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#8 of 26 Old 08-16-2010, 05:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Fat Scottish Gal View Post
My last birth was amazing and I am so excited to do it again. I've had some not so pleasant experiences in hospital, but my homebirth was my healing birth and I felt like super woman. I am so addicted to the birth buzz, and with my homebirth the buzz lasted for days, if not weeks. I was on cloud 9. I'm so looking forward to doing it again.

My births got progressively better with each one and I think it had everything to do with my expectation and confidence. I was so scared and intimidated the first time and it made for a bad experience where I was quite taken advantage of. The more babies i had, the more they took me seriously in the hospital and I knew what to expect and knew a little more about how to go within myself and do it my way. I remember my 4th hospital birth, it was pitocin induced, but no pain meds, and the midwife told me I could start pushing, but I told her, "no, not yet, I don't have the urge yet." And I waited 30 mins at fully complete before pushing. She looked a little taken aback, but being my 4th, she let me do what I was going to do. She was nervous and kept asking, "do you feel the urge to push yet?". I just calmly told her, "no, not yet". If that had been my first, I'd have totally done as I was told and would have ended up having a much harder time no doubt.

Then when I started pushing, and baby started crowning, she said, "how does that feel?" I don't know if she was worried that I had a lip or something. Anyway, I was in the zone and enjoying having the adrenaline to push and I was totally on top of it, and I answered honestly, "it feels good!" and she laughed at me. She told her nurse, "she must be remembering the feeling of the baby's head being delivered and is looking forward to the relief again". But no, that's not what I meant. It was sore of course, but it also felt very good to be active and pushing with my body and doing what it was designed to do. It felt right.

Just having the extra confidence made it a much better experience. Being more in control. And when you are confident, your care providers will pick up on that, and it will help.
Thank you for this, I feel better after reflecting on your perspective and experience!! Even though my first birth was with a MW, I agree with what you said about your first, that my fear and inexperience led to me going along with what others thought I should do rather than following instincts, making it more directive than I wanted. I do feel that I will be more confident this time and I really feel that will make a difference. Also, with DD I unfortunately missed two nights' sleep by the time she was born, so that also contributed to the difficulty of it. But I remember that postpartum "high" so well, it was amazing, THAT I am looking forward to! And meeting our little son!

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#9 of 26 Old 08-16-2010, 05:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by aslmere View Post
Oh Yes!
But mostly becuase I know I will be having a cesarean and am really really really not looking forward to that. Getting cut wide open and then the recovery afterwards?
Last time I had tons of support and my DH was off work and I still was a wreck. This time DH may or may not be able to get off work and the support is not as available and so I am SCARED!
Oh that would scare me, too. to you, mama. Have you looked into community resources for some form of support? I hope there are some in your area, that help makes all the difference. What abt a postpartum doula? A doula-in-training may be possible and more economical? Sorry for the brainstorming, I know you didn't ask me for advice...

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#10 of 26 Old 08-16-2010, 06:57 PM
 
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Oh that would scare me, too. to you, mama. Have you looked into community resources for some form of support? I hope there are some in your area, that help makes all the difference. What abt a postpartum doula? A doula-in-training may be possible and more economical? Sorry for the brainstorming, I know you didn't ask me for advice...
Thanks for advice
I hadn't even thought of a pp doula. I wonder if there are any in training around here...but I know just who to ask!
I have seriously thought about going back to church for the rest of the year just so I could get that help.
The week that baby will be born (37 weeks, dec 10) is the busiest week at school for my mom, the public school music teacher. However after that week is over she should be free to help for two full weeks. I am counting on her to take care of my 2 yr old, who adores her. But she really wants us to come move in with her and since I won't do that she will be less help than I need.
I am working to try and get a GOOD caregiver in place for my 7 year old with multiple special needs, and due to the circumstances there is a chance he will qualify for an emergecy full time caregiver for a short time.
I am trying to get things in place...but still the whole idea of doing this again has me utterly terrified. Hopefully I feel better once everything is in place!

Thanks for the advice
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#11 of 26 Old 08-16-2010, 07:07 PM
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I'm comfortable with the birth itself. They've always gone easily and quickly. But yes occasionally, I will stop and think I really don't want to deal with labor anytime soon. My biggest worry is staying pregnant till atleast 37/38 weeks. I don't want another early baby that ends up in the NICU for a week.

 
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#12 of 26 Old 08-16-2010, 08:16 PM
 
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ddcc but can I just say that I so feel ya on this. I was reading some of the baby books and part of me freaked out because I can so remember everything with ydd that it is all too real. When I got pregnant with ydd I forgot the hard part of labor and didn't freak out. Now I am freaking out a bit remembering everything. I know everything works out in the end and I will love it all but still too fresh in my mind.

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#13 of 26 Old 08-16-2010, 09:06 PM
 
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squirrelly is a great word to describe what I am feeling...
but reading my hypnobirthing books is helping me to find fascination with the physiology of how birth happens...I am in awe of the uterus. I can't wait to meet my little one, to feel myself labour again and to have a baby with dp...who I am so madly in love with. It feels like a brand new experience....



just so long as I can move out of my head and into my body, I know i'll be great and this baby will come into this amazing little family of mine!

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#14 of 26 Old 08-16-2010, 10:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by aslmere View Post
The week that baby will be born (37 weeks, dec 10) is the busiest week at school for my mom, the public school music teacher. However after that week is over she should be free to help for two full weeks. I am counting on her to take care of my 2 yr old, who adores her. But she really wants us to come move in with her and since I won't do that she will be less help than I need.
My mother lives with us (necessary evil), I would GLADLY lend her to you!! And you're welcome, of course! Brainstorming other ppl's problems is always easier than your own!

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My biggest worry is staying pregnant till atleast 37/38 weeks. I don't want another early baby that ends up in the NICU for a week.
Amen to that!

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I can't wait to meet my little one, to feel myself labour again and to have a baby with dp...who I am so madly in love with. It feels like a brand new experience....
just so long as I can move out of my head and into my body, I know i'll be great and this baby will come into this amazing little family of mine!
This!!

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#15 of 26 Old 08-16-2010, 10:38 PM
 
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Ditto to FSG's comments.
This will be my 2nd baby. I am concerned about working through the labor, the pushing was fine, intense, but you knew the reward was near-albeit it was 3 hrs for me. I keep hearing how it goes by faster with the subsequent babies.
I was at home until I was 6cm, I would like to stay home as long as possible. This time my doula is a HB MW so I think this will be a significant support.
My baby has SUA and cleft so we're going to deliver at the hospital with the CNMs. They delivered DD and it was all natural, minimal interference/intervention, so I have their support to do the same. One thing I would change is walking myself up to the maternity ward. Last time, I entered through the ER and they ticked me off by forcing me into a wheel chair. Thankfully the wheel chair guy was super sweet. I don't think most women check in directly as I plan too, it sends the message, "I AM A BIRTH WARRIOR."
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#16 of 26 Old 08-17-2010, 12:45 AM
 
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I am eagerly anticipating the actual delivery. If it were possible for me to be a surrogate l&d'er (no 9 months gestating, tyvm), I'd totally do it. But I seem to have relatively easy labors and deliveries compared to stories I hear.

I am, however, FREAKING OUT about GOING into labor.

I'm leaning away from birthing at home, but haven't ruled it out. Our distance from any hospital in an emergency concerns me, particularly in the winter.

Of course, the only hospital I want to deliver in is an hour away, without traffic or bad weather. And I'm home with 4 kids. And dh usually works about an hour on the OTHER side of the hospital. And I have no support system in my area, and a shaky support system close to the hospital. And kids will not be allowed in the hospital during flu season.

I'm considering holding this kid in until spring.

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#17 of 26 Old 08-17-2010, 12:50 AM
 
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I am a little nervous. I'll be HBACing () after a failed induction led to a c/s with my first. I'm mostly nervous b/c I never really got into labor with DS, so I feel like I have no frame of reference for the level of discomfort of a contraction. It kind of feels like I'm preparing for my first birth. One of my friends is lending me hypnobabies which I've heard great things about, so I hope that's really helpful. I'm just trying to focus on positive affirmations and remember that this is exactly what my body was built to do.

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#18 of 26 Old 08-17-2010, 01:27 AM
 
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there are things I'm concerned about, but I also feel a little more relaxed about it. I am having a cesearan, and had one with my last daughter as well. I had a good recovery and know what to expect so that part doesn't really worry me. I mean, sure sometimes I think "what if" but my instincts aren't going haywire. It will be wierd having my dd away from me-she will be two and I've never stayed a night away from her. I hope to get in and out of the hospital as fast as possible. I don't do too well sleeping away from home. My husband has vacation time saved for the birth, and between that and the holidays he has at least two weeks he can take off for recouping. I DO dread the holiday rush with a brand new baby though.
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#19 of 26 Old 08-17-2010, 02:30 AM
 
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I am really excited about the birth. "The Business of Being Born" the doco, got me all excited about natural birth. I mean, what an amazing experience! I have had ghastly menstral cycles since 17, the sort where I will be on the floor, throwing up, got the runs, hot and cold flashes and in so much pain that I am sure I will die shortly. Several nurses have assured me that I was getting labor contactions then, so I think I feel ok about is as it will be for a good cause this time, as in pain is healthy, but that level of pain with menstration was not! Anyway, loving having a break from my periods, and looking forward to meeting LO!

I am a little scared that someone might want to cut me open for some sudden reason and I won't have hours to research it up on the internet. I will get into hypnobabies here soon so that should help. And I did not think of that, but holiday traffic! The hosp is 1.5 hrs away, which is why my midwife said I should not do a homebirth. Have not decided yet though. Hopefully there won't be an accident blocking the highway, there is only 1 road to the hosp, lol!

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#20 of 26 Old 08-17-2010, 12:55 PM
 
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I am nervous for my VBAC. I had an emergency c-section at 35 weeks due to a placental abruption, so I've never gone into labor before! I was very anxious about the birth process while pregnant with DD and that anxiety has only worsened now that I am going for a VBAC. I can't wait to actually have the baby in my arms, but sometimes I wish I could skip the birthing part all together!

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#21 of 26 Old 08-17-2010, 01:26 PM
 
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It DOES NOT help I am a L&D RN and work a lot!! I always get the mamas who want unmedicated births so I am assisting in approx. 3-4 deliveries a week. I have been noticing lately I have been like "Oh this is how I don't want to do it" or "Oh please don't let my water break and I have no UC's". I see so much variety. I try to remember that so much has to do with the fact I am in a hospital environment, albeit a very nice small one, but I think there is a strong psychological piece for labor progression in a unknown environment. As of last week I started being way more attached to the birth experiences. One thing for sure, I really hope I am one of those women who like (or tolerate) pushing! I just have been having such a hard time helping the I don't want to push, I want to fight it camp. Looks like torture!! Really need to start getting more serious about my childbirth prep (doing mindful meditation stuff). Yes, starting to get squirelly!!

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#22 of 26 Old 08-17-2010, 04:59 PM
 
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I have been trying to be anything but nervous w/little success Mine isn't close - due date Feb. '11, but I'm planning toVBAC and have a T incision from my first so I've had lots of research to do. It's looking like a HBAC w/ a mdwife group - we meet w/them on August 24th and I'm hoping I'll feel much better after that/once an actual birth plan is in place. I'm a "NO"/automatic repeat cesarean for most if not all hospitals. I did experience a LONG HARD labor with my first - all in my back as he was breech and they didn't know until Iwas pushing So I'm not afraid of the natural labor as I truly believe I had "the worst" - but since I didn't actually push him out - that parts an unknown... :
Good Luck and prayers for a beautiful birth to everyone!!
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#23 of 26 Old 08-17-2010, 08:09 PM
 
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Definitely having the "I have to do that again?!?!" thoughts. DS was born with his arm folded by his head. It took a LOT of focused work and moving about to get him to pass under my pubic bone. The staff at the hospital wad incredibly helpful and supportive, thank goodness. But it was intense and I had a second degree tear that took a while to heal.

I keep telling myself the second one is always easier. We'll see.

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#24 of 26 Old 08-17-2010, 10:06 PM
 
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I'm feeling pretty good about it! This will be my third birth, and I used Hypnobirthing during labor for my second...it made a world of difference! And as far as pushing...it was literally about 4 contractions. Hypnobirthing stresses not "pushing" but "breathing the baby down". It's totally different. And also, even though I was complete for a while, I didn't push until I felt the urge to (and it was overpowering...like my body pushing whether I wanted it to or not). That made a huge difference as well. I see this birth as another opportunity to change some things and help my birth be better!

Jess ~ RN & student CNM, Blogger (see profile), wifey to T-Rav & momma to sons Buggy ~7/04 & Newt ~1/08 & Tad 6/19/09 & Con-man 1/11!  <3
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#25 of 26 Old 08-17-2010, 10:29 PM
 
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I'm not looking forward to it yet. Maybe I will eventually (hopefully) but I'm cool with not hitting the fast-forward button to get through the next 14-18 weeks.

This Mommy and Military Daddy are loving their son.
DS born Dec 2010 Pregnant with #2, having another !
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#26 of 26 Old 08-18-2010, 08:40 PM
 
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I'm super excited to be doing this a third time but I'll admit I feel a little when I think about crowning. There's just nothing pleasant about that except the realization 'I'm almost done!'.

I want to watch dc's birth videos some time soon to start getting me in the mindset. I also start my hypnobabies early just because it's so relaxing and enjoyable.

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