ideas to help ds accept baby? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 09-29-2010, 02:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am having a hard time coming up with ideas to help ds, 2.5.

Conor (7) is ASD and doesn't have the language or concept of time to really understand. Though we do talk to him about the baby coming, he doesn't really let us know how he is feeling about it yet. But he has done pretty good with the babies as long as we try and keep his schedule as consistent as possible.

But Asher on the other hand seems to be a typical developing kid. He has pretty good language skills.
Right now he knows that there is a baby sister coming. She is still growing and then mommy will go to the hopsital for a few days and the dr will help her be born. (repeat cesarean)
He knows he will stay with grandma for a couple of days and then we will all be home together.(mommy and daddy and conor and asher and the baaabbbby)
But after he tells this story he says "I don't want to be a big brother"
When we point out babies and try to introduce him to babies he just glares at them.
Last week there was a baby in a wrap sling at early head start stay n play. I tried to talk to him about the baby and the sling and he just gave the mom and baby dirty looks and didn't want to talk about it at all.
(not that I blame him too much, we were playing in the play kitchen and he wanted to do his thing without my chatter)

I am knitting the baby a pair of socks and he knows that they are for baby sister, though he keeps trying to take off with the finished one. I am going to knit him a matching pair as soon as I am done with the second baby sock.
(thanks for the pattern nova22!)

What else can I do to help him be okay with the baby?

Oh! I have tried to talk to him about how much he loves his big brother and let him know that after a while baby sister will love him that much and they will play together and have so much fun.
He thinks about that for a second, but then has no real response.

help me help him
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#2 of 2 Old 09-29-2010, 04:01 AM
 
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oh mama!! it so hard sometimes.
I tell my children that I love them and Nothing will change that. I will bring up stories about when they were babies.

The newest thing we are saying is, that "mommy" love just gets bigger and makes room for all the children. -my ds is 7 so it is an easier concept for him.
I try to not say things like" you'll love your little sister" yes he will but right now it is a foregin concept. Even to my 7 year old.
perhaps show him pics of you pg with him?
make a routine of something just the 2 of you do, and can contniue to do after the baby is here?
I plan on doing bedtime with my ds. It's a 30 min to 45 min adventure at our house, with meds and brushing and 2 or 3 stories. But I love it and so does he. I know that babies have a fussy time, usally at night but this is what we have decided to do, Dp will have the baby.
Perhaps a cuddle and story at nap time or quite time everyday at the same time. and tell him that its a special time for you and him. then tell him you would love to do this even after the baby is born. Anyway you get the idea.

I soo understand with this being my 4th.

mama to Alex 20 Briana 16 Cory 10 and Jade 3Tubes tied and regret it
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