First time worries - inexperience or intuition? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 11-22-2010, 01:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm a 36 yr old first time mother, 2 days shy of 36 weeks. I think the baby dropped a few days ago, and since then I've experienced more frequent and longer BH contractions. 

 

I'm planning a homebirth, so I'm really aiming to make it to 37 weeks.  I called my midwife this morning.  She said she thought dropping was a bit early, but everything else sounded normal, which is how my pregnancy has been so far. 

 

Is anyone else making themselves a little dizzy with worry?  My midwife seems to think there's something 'else' emotionally that I haven't resolved.  I'm chalking it up to inexperience and normal worries of a first-time mother.  On the rare occasion I do call (I've only called twice in my entire pregnancy, including this morning's call), I don't get any warm or reassuring vibes from her, but rather a little impatience and 'what is it now' kind of feeling. 

 

I understand and believe that birth works, and that the likelihood of my baby being okay is in my favor.  But sometimes going on faith alone is really hard, and I actually find myself wishing for some intervention, like an ultrasound or an internal exam, just to be sure.  Does anyone else feel this way?  Any advice?

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#2 of 5 Old 11-22-2010, 01:28 PM
 
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Our bodies are tricky and mean sometimes.  At 36 weeks I was 1.5 cm dilated and 75% effaced after having some pre-labor stuff (my BH occasionally come very close together, like every 2-3 minutes).  Mine also started dropping at 33 weeks.  I thought the baby was going to show up any day!  Tomorrow will be 2 weeks since my 'any day now' vibes and I'm still just as pregnant as I was.  If I were to get checked right now I bet I'd STILL be 1.5 cm and 75%.  Contractions come and go too now but nothing that makes me want to alert my doula for.

 

Babies show up when they show up but the odds are strongly in your favor that you won't only make it to 37 weeks, you'll probably make it to 39 or more.


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DS born Dec 2010 Pregnant with #2, having another !
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#3 of 5 Old 11-22-2010, 01:35 PM
 
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It's hard.

 

I just had an u/s on Saturday (35.5 weeks), and the tech was shocked by how low ds is AND by how large he seems to be.  Even after birthing FOUR babies, all after their EDD by 1-14 days, part of me wonders if I might go any day now!

 

Just know that no u/s or exam will have the answer, either.  If they did, baby betting pools would be easy to win. ;-)


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#4 of 5 Old 11-22-2010, 02:53 PM
 
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I have had a few ultrasounds, too many in fact (they want to do more!) and everything has been normal and I am still worried about stuff. I am convinced I would go early with my first (and I was induced for being late) and I think I am not going to make it my due date this time either, but I know, deep down, its going to be a long 8 more weeks or more.  I don't think an ultrasound will give any definite answers. In fact, I am going to refuse them from now on because I fear they will find something unnecessary and pressure me into a repeat c-section.


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#5 of 5 Old 11-22-2010, 02:56 PM
 
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I'm sorry you're not feeling fully supported by your midwife, and I'm sure that has something to do with your worry...it's hard when you don't feel that you have someone to turn to with these questions and concerns.

 

I don't think that sounds terribly early for a baby to drop, but I'm no expert. I do think it's difficult to discern between legitimate concerns and frivolous worrying...a lot of moms recommend the book "Protecting The Gift" but when I read it, it turned me into a nervous wreck. If I were to follow every supposed instinct that I had that something bad was happening or about to happen, I'd drive myself crazy. Take it easy and try to step back to assess things logically. If there is in fact something wrong, what can you do about it? If nothing, just sit back and rest and wait. Like a PP said, it is more likely that you *won't* have a premature birth. I totally understand your desire for an intervention just to make sure; over the weekend I had a really bad cough and started to worry that I'd go into preterm labor because my body was under such stress. I was almost to the point that I was willing to drive to the hospital (I'm planning a home VBAC) and ask them to monitor me, which would have surely led to bedrest or induction or a c-section or any number of other unwanted interventions. It's hard with pregnancy because more often than not, those interventions are good in certain situations but for the most part, you won't get a whole lot of new information from them. You could be dilated and not go into labor for another month, for example. 

Sorry this post is kind of stream-of-consciousness, I've got a little one playing rather loudly next to me and it's hard to concentrate. :) Good luck!


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Baby #6: 20****25****30****35**heartbeat.gif** - EDD December 17, 2010
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