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#1 of 50 Old 12-02-2010, 04:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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And I'm exhausted, LOL! Welcome to all the new babies and congrats to all the new babies in our DDC. You all have been busy while I was away.

 

I had the babies last Tuesday (11/23) night at 8:00 PM and 8:19 PM. Matthew was first and weighed 6 pounds 7 ounces and Molly was second and was 7 pounds 9 ounces. They were born vaginally and were just perfect, no rips, tears, or cuts on me! Unfortunately, after that things went really badly. I underwent congestive heart failure while pushing the babies out and also underwent a postpartum hemmorhage that resulted in me losing 3600 ccs of blood. I ended up being put on a vent while I was stabilized. The official diagnosis was peripartum cardiomyopthy, which you can read about here if you want:

http://www.amothersheart.org/about_ppcm.htm

 

I will eventually post my birth story. I have it all written out, I'm just not sure if I'm ready to share yet. The babies are just perfect. The hardest part now is how tired I am and the fact that I am not allowed to nurse the twins until next Friday, December 10. I'm pumping and drinking Mother's Milk Tea and praying they take to the breast.

 

I will try to come back tonight and post pictures of the babies. I am uploading them now. Thank you for the thoughts and prayers!

 

 


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#2 of 50 Old 12-02-2010, 05:04 PM
 
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So happy that you are back! I have been praying you and the babies from day 1!!!!

 

Take care and I'm still praying.

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#3 of 50 Old 12-02-2010, 05:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Molly

 

Matthew

 

Twins at home

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#4 of 50 Old 12-02-2010, 05:41 PM
 
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Congratulations! They are soooo beautiful! I'm so glad you're home and I'm looking forward to reading your birth story when you are able to get it out. So with the cardiomyopathy, are you expecting to be treated for it long-term or do they think it'll go away in your case?


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#5 of 50 Old 12-02-2010, 06:33 PM
 
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Congrats on the cute little babies!  I am so happy for you :)

 

Just wanted to let you know that with DS, I went into cardiac failure 5 days postpartum and was 12 hours from a vent (my MIL really, really encouraged me to go - I spent 5 days in the cardiac unit and did not see DS the whole time).  Anyway, I could not nurse for a month and pumped/dumped.  DS is now 3 years old and still nurses in the mornings.  It CAN be done!!!!  If you want to PM me, I would be more than happy to talk to you.  My heart was seriously aching for you when I saw what was going on.....

 

Take care and get some rest!

 


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#6 of 50 Old 12-02-2010, 06:34 PM
 
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Oh my gosh, they're so perfect!! You did good, Mama. That must be so hard to not be able to nurse them yet. I'm sorry you went through all that trauma, I've been praying for you. I'm so glad to hear you're doing so much better now. I hope things just get better and better from here on.

It's great to see you post and awesome to see those precious babies!


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#7 of 50 Old 12-02-2010, 07:11 PM
 
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What sweet angels!! You did an awesome job, Mama. I haven't been able to post as much b/c the new format doesn't seem to work with my phone, but I wanted to stop by and wish you guys well. I know those babies will take to the breast. You are doing a great job! hugs


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#8 of 50 Old 12-02-2010, 07:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am definitely looking at some longterm recovery. Estimates are 6 months to a year for a full recovery, although there's a possibility to see improvement sooner. I still find it all very difficult to think and talk about. I've always worried something would happen to my children, but never thought my own health would be in jeopardy. I don't like feeling this vulnerable.

 

Climbergirl, were you diagnosed with PPCM as well? Eventually, I'm going to post over in Birth Trauma maybe, but I am just not ready yet. I am trying to take things one moment at a time and right now just fitting in feedings, pumping, skin-to-skin, and trying to take moments with my other children seems exhausting.


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#9 of 50 Old 12-02-2010, 07:24 PM
 
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They are so BEAUTIFUL mama!!!!  Congrats!!!  I'm so glad you're home, and able to be with them all the time now!  I hope you're feeling 100% soon, I'm still praying and sending healing thoughts!  (and good latch/BF"ing ones too!)

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#10 of 50 Old 12-02-2010, 07:24 PM
 
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they are BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!! 

pretty sure all of MDC has been praying for you! glad you are home :)


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#11 of 50 Old 12-02-2010, 07:39 PM
 
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Oh my, they are sooo beautiful! love.gif Molly doesn't look like a newborn, far too perfect!

 

I am so glad that you are out of danger and on the mend. What a scary experience.hug2.gif

 

Praying your breastfeeding relationship is perfect and without complications! 


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#12 of 50 Old 12-02-2010, 07:47 PM
 
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They really are just perfect and adorable!!  I'm so glad you are doing better.  And so sad that you had such a tough, traumatic experience.  We'll continue praying for you. 


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#13 of 50 Old 12-02-2010, 11:52 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ryleeee View Post

they are BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!! 

pretty sure all of MDC has been praying for you! glad you are home :)



Isn't that the truth.  I'm glad to hear you are home too, and I hope you a swift recovery and good breastfeeding.  Hugs to you.


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#14 of 50 Old 12-03-2010, 01:54 AM
 
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Congratulations momma, they are precious. You did an awesome job!! Hang in there!

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#15 of 50 Old 12-03-2010, 03:51 AM
 
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Oh my goodness, AM!!!  I just want to kiss them through my screen!!!!!!

 

I'm so glad your recovery is going well.  Please take it easy!

If I weren't so darned pregnant, I'd jump in the car and demand you let me do something.

 

How are the rest of the kids doing?  They must be so relieved to have you home!


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#16 of 50 Old 12-03-2010, 04:19 AM
 
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Sounds like things are still pretty rough and will be for a while; you are in my prayers!  Glad that the babies are healthy, and that you are on the road to recovery.


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#17 of 50 Old 12-03-2010, 06:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have absolutely felt the thoughts and prayers not only here on MDC but all over the world. I know there's no good reason  for me to be doing as well as I am! I just wake up every morning and look at the babies and think, "Wow! I get to spend a whole new day with you!" and it makes everything seem worth it.


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#18 of 50 Old 12-03-2010, 06:51 AM
 
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I'm so happy you and the babies are home. hug2.gif


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#19 of 50 Old 12-03-2010, 07:13 AM
 
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How beautiful!  Congrats!  I will be praying for your recovery.


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#20 of 50 Old 12-03-2010, 07:33 AM
 
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I'm so glad your home and are on your way to recovery!  Don't push it and over do it! 

 

Do you feel like this was something missed during your pregnancy and maybe outcome of delivery could have been changed or avoided?  I remember you posting in the multiples forum about being really short of breathe and other things during you're pregnancy... after your husband posted it made me wonder if there was something that was missed during your pregnancy? 

 

I'm so glad they are here, safe and sound and you are ok and getting better!   Both babies are soooooo stinkin cute!   I cannot wait to meet our two after seeing your two! 

 


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#21 of 50 Old 12-03-2010, 08:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Do you feel like this was something missed during your pregnancy and maybe outcome of delivery could have been changed or avoided?  I remember you posting in the multiples forum about being really short of breathe and other things during you're pregnancy... after your husband posted it made me wonder if there was something that was missed during your pregnancy? 

 

I'm so glad they are here, safe and sound and you are ok and getting better!   Both babies are soooooo stinkin cute!   I cannot wait to meet our two after seeing your two! 

 

 

I think that, looking back, my heart has slowly been failing over the last month. That said, I don't think it's anything anyone could have caught unless they were superfamiliar with the diagnosis. One thing that makes it hard is PPCM is a diagnosis of exclusion-- you only get tagged with it when nothing else makes sense. And all of my symptoms-- shortness of breath, pregnancy-induced hypertension, the weight gain the last week, the tiredness, peeing every hour at night, all of it could have been part of being 38 years old pregnant with twins. Too, in a strange way the PPH saved my life-- losing all that blood gave my heart less work to do AND it landed me in an OR where the on-call doc was a cardiologist who was also familiar with PPCM.
 


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#22 of 50 Old 12-03-2010, 09:37 AM
 
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I just read about PPCM about a month ago, when my shortness of breath became scary.  I think mine is just my ribs, they keep popping out, but it was terrifying to read.  I am so sorry you went through that.  But I am so glad to see you back on facebook and MDC!  You have been in my familys thoughts and prayers!

And your babies are sooooo cute!


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#23 of 50 Old 12-03-2010, 09:45 AM
 
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Quote:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by turnquia View Post

 

Do you feel like this was something missed during your pregnancy and maybe outcome of delivery could have been changed or avoided?  I remember you posting in the multiples forum about being really short of breathe and other things during you're pregnancy... after your husband posted it made me wonder if there was something that was missed during your pregnancy? 

 

I'm so glad they are here, safe and sound and you are ok and getting better!   Both babies are soooooo stinkin cute!   I cannot wait to meet our two after seeing your two! 

 

 

I think that, looking back, my heart has slowly been failing over the last month. That said, I don't think it's anything anyone could have caught unless they were superfamiliar with the diagnosis. One thing that makes it hard is PPCM is a diagnosis of exclusion-- you only get tagged with it when nothing else makes sense. And all of my symptoms-- shortness of breath, pregnancy-induced hypertension, the weight gain the last week, the tiredness, peeing every hour at night, all of it could have been part of being 38 years old pregnant with twins. Too, in a strange way the PPH saved my life-- losing all that blood gave my heart less work to do AND it landed me in an OR where the on-call doc was a cardiologist who was also familiar with PPCM.
 


Its amazing how things work out.  I know you had a homebirth last pregnancy and this time never felt comfortable with it.  

 

It does seem like most of the symptoms are quite vague.  I just remember you posting at like 20 weeks pregnant about being very short of breathe and extremely tired ... all which seem normal but wasn't sure if looking back if that was the start of things for you.  

 

I am so glad you trusted your gut and had the babies where you felt comfortable and that the right people were around.   Your babies are sooooo stinkin cute!


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#24 of 50 Old 12-03-2010, 10:03 AM
 
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I am definitely looking at some longterm recovery. Estimates are 6 months to a year for a full recovery, although there's a possibility to see improvement sooner. I still find it all very difficult to think and talk about. I've always worried something would happen to my children, but never thought my own health would be in jeopardy. I don't like feeling this vulnerable.

 

Climbergirl, were you diagnosed with PPCM as well? Eventually, I'm going to post over in Birth Trauma maybe, but I am just not ready yet. I am trying to take things one moment at a time and right now just fitting in feedings, pumping, skin-to-skin, and trying to take moments with my other children seems exhausting.

No, I wasn't diagnosed with PPCM.  I was diagnosed with pneumonia, septasemia, and early cardiac failure (which would have been full blown cardiac failure had my MIL not been a L&D nurse in the 80s and knew I did not look right).  When I complained to the nurse my last day in the hospital of having a tough time breathing, she said I probably caught a cold (because, you know, you ARE in a hospital). 

 

I went in to deliver Aiden at 190 pounds and 5 days later in the ER, I was 190 pounds again (so in 5 days, I had gained back the weight of placenta and a 9 pound child).  I was only home for 12 hours when I had to go back to the hospital.  I kept remembering that my son was napping when I left and I did not want to wake him so I did not kiss him.  I kept wondering if this was going to kill me and I did not kiss my son goodbye.  I still tear up thinking about it :(  And the nasty doctor who was taking care of me in the cardiac unit made me feel like a terrible mom for wanting to even SEE him.  My husband kept bringing pictures and movies for me to watch while my MIL and FIL took full care of my son for 5 days.

 

And while I would never ASK to have the experience, it changed me, and in a good way.  It really made me want to be so much healthier. And I have definitely improved.  I definitely don't sweat the small stuff as much and I sometimes, when my son is driving me crazy, I do remember that I am glad to be here for him to do so.

 

It is a hard recovering from all that with a newborn, let along twins with older children.  But really, just trying to just do what you can, keep them close, and try to take a good shower (for some reason, that was really helpful to me).   I would line up good help for at least a month.  Are you in contact with a good IBCLC or your local LLL chapter?  They can help too.  Maybe movies in bed with all the kids would be good?

 

And seriously, you are welcome to PM me to chat.  I so desperately wanted someone to understand what I was going through when everyone seemed to STILL be saying that I had a healthy baby and so things are good.   Thank goodness my sister was so supportive and could tell me that it was ok for me to be upset and freaked out about what happened.  Because I definitely was.....

 

I am sending you the biggest hugs right now.
 


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#25 of 50 Old 12-03-2010, 10:05 AM
 
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They are adorable!  I'm so sorry you've had such a trying time, but sending good thoughts and nursing baby vibes, when they're able.


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#26 of 50 Old 12-03-2010, 10:35 AM
 
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They are beautiful, AM!
Congrats again!

And I'm sorry about what you went through, take it easy and take care of yourself, your body has been through so much. I hope you have help if your SO has to work.

I'll cross my fingers for breastfeeding.


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#27 of 50 Old 12-03-2010, 11:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Climbergirl, that's intense. I've been reading stories of women diagnosed with PPCM and one thing that seems to be universal is that their health care providers just didn't listen to them. I was very very lucky in that respect.

 

I took a shower this morning and it knocked me out for 2 hours. :/ But, my BP is waaaaay down and so is my resting pulse-- it was flitting around 100-115 in the hospital-- and I had been getting a little more milk pumped this morning, but the last time not so much. :( A good family friend is coming over to give the babies a bath for me because they're getting kind of whiffy. And my husband has the next 4 1/2 weeks off. I have a cardiologist appointment sometime in the next week or so and another echocardiogram in 3-4 weeks.

 

We have an excellent team of LCs in the hospital and they really went to bat for me. I am the local LLL leader, LOL! I actually have already had to ask 2 people to call the leader the next town over because I can't even deal with helping calls right now. And I only feel a little bit guilty about it. I was in touch with Jack Newman and Thomas Hale about the meds and breastfeeding issue as well.

 

I will definitely want to chat with you a little down the road. My "baby" sister has been a Godsend through all this as well. I feel like I've been stuck reassuring some of the grown-ups in my life and it's just exhausting. I hope that doesn't sound too ungracious, but it's just hard to feel like I have to be patting other people on the head and helping them feel better right now when I'm having such a difficult time wrapping my own brain around it all. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. But I'm so thankful for all the love and prayers and support and for my sweet little babies who are next to me holding hands!

 

Holding hands


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#28 of 50 Old 12-03-2010, 11:19 AM
 
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DDCC

 

Many have a difficult recovery from a simple CHF exacerbation, let alone PPCM, hemmorrage (also blood products, I'm guessing?), time on the vent, just being post-partum, having several other children to care for, bedrest...need I go on?  Take this time to rest, heal, meditate on the future.  Serious illness has always brought me gifts...gifts of knowledge of how I want to live my life, changes that need to be made, etc.

 

Wrap your nuclear family in a blanket of protection, let everyone know you can't be responsible for their worries right now.  If they call to chat, you welcome those calls, but if they call to vent their grief over how ill you were...well you just don't have energy to deal with that right now.  Maybe have a phone number of a local counselor next to the phone ;)

 

Screen your calls, have a message on the machine "We are busy caring for the mommy and the babies, leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can".  Likewise a note on the door for those "unexpected visits".

 

If you find yourself heading toward a depression, get help, get counseling, take more vitamin D, get as much sun as you can, consider safe herbs, consider medication.  Just the fall out from the blood products is hard on your body, and for some reason I see many people who have received blood products having a depressed episode.  You have done an amazing thing, growing those lovely babies, having a serious health issue, and recovering from all of that. 

 

Breastfeeding may or may not work out.  I know you will work very hard to have it work, and I truly hope you are successful.  However, I learned with my most recent son, that even with experience and previous success, sometimes things don't work out.  If it does, whoo hoo!  If it does not, be kind to yourself, and forgiving.

 

I hope that some day you can say "It was really hard, I was sad, but I did it, and I learned something from the experience, too."

 

May you be well!


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#29 of 50 Old 12-03-2010, 02:47 PM
 
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Oh they are beautiful!!  Congratulations!  I'm so pleased for you!

 

I'm with Coyotemist, now is the time to retreat and just care for yourself and your little ones. Take all the help that's offered, and ask for more.   Get your dh to run interference for you, have him get out the word that you won't be available for a while. Be firm. hug.gif

 

I suppose that means we might see less of you around here for a while??  smile.gif  That's alright, we'll keep calm and carry on. 

 

Yours in Harry Potteriness,  Journeymom


Someone moved my effing cheese.
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#30 of 50 Old 12-03-2010, 03:02 PM
 
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Location: Alabama
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nak

 

congrats!!! so glad you andbabes`are home.  they are beautiful. 


Lori ~ wife to DH 5 yrs ~ DS born naturally 11.20.10!
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