Advice for someone who will have 2 under 2 come next January - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 05-24-2010, 08:15 AM - Thread Starter
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Well here I am
I was actually a member of the January 2010 Due Date club . And would love some advice from ya'll that have small children close together. we will just be celebrating our daughters first birthday about the time this one will be due .For some reason I thought it would take us longer the second time around but I guess I was wrong about that. lol

Anyways ... any advice would be great....but a couple questions I do have :

How do I manage if DD is not walking yet? How can I carry two car seats at a time ?

How did you get all the rest you need in the first trimester ? I am exhausted all the time right now.

How do you respond to all the people who question you getting pregnant so soon after the last one? I know its no one else business but I have been getting some weird reactions....(My mom was like "good, now you can get your tubes tied after this one" )not that I see anything wrong with this but, I dont know if we will be done after this one. Why does everyone think that having more than two kids is a crime?

Sorry this is kinda long ...I got on a

Engaged to my soulmate Thomas to Benjamin (11) Savannah (under a year) , and expecting Henry (January 21, 2011 )
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#2 of 10 Old 05-24-2010, 10:05 AM
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Congrats! I didn't have any of mine in that same age range but I do have twins so I know what it's like taking care of 2 children at the same time that are completely dependent on you. I didn't use bucket seats with any of mine but I had a double stroller. Because I had an almost 3 year old when my twins were born, it was often easier for me to put her and one of the twins in the stroller and keep one of them in a sling. So maybe you could wear the new baby and put your dd in a stroller? Another possibility is to put your dd in an ergo type carrier that supports an older baby if you want your baby to be in the bucket seat. It seems like a carrier will be some kind of option for you.

I didn't have the same experience with getting pregnant close together but I'm having #5 and I'm getting a lot of grief from people. I don't see how my fertility is anyone else's business. If I were you I would say something like "We love our dd so much, we couldn't wait to get started on the next one!"

Rest is hard right now. I'm pregnant with a 2 year old home most days, plus I feel like I never slow down with my 3 older dd's schedules. The only way I feel like I can squeeze in some down time is in the evenings when dh gets home from work. I usually hit the couch after dinner and let him get everyone ready for bed. I've been avoiding napping because it keeps me from sleeping well at night but just taking it easy goes a long way for my sanity.

Good luck, it sounds like an exciting time for you. It's funny that you're a Jan mom, 3 of my girls were born in April so I have to always watch it in July!

homebirth.jpgMama to 4 girls and forever missing Bright 6/12/10. Married to my best friend and dreaming of the day we leave the city for chicken3.gif
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#3 of 10 Old 05-24-2010, 10:55 AM
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Do you have any family nearby who might be able to help? I've been having someone to come over on the weekends (my mom, little brothers) to help clean up and prep meals for the week. It makes the weekdays, when DH is gone, much easier.

We've gotten some odd responses as well, my favorite being "Is that what you wanted?" (directed at DH only) . I feel like I need a t-shirt that says, "Yes, this was planned, and yes, we know how 'it' happens". So far, I just ignore them.

This will only be our second, and they'll be 19 months apart, so I'll be subbing for ideas as well!

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#4 of 10 Old 05-24-2010, 12:14 PM
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My mom had 2 less than a year apart and she had almost 4 year old twins on top of that. So 2 were born in april and are the same age for about 2 1/2 weeks. I can't believe she did that after having twins, but I don't think it was planned exactly. I am her 5th child

Anyhow, I asked her recently how she dealt with morning sickness while taking care of more than one kid, (because I can barely do it with one) and she said she remembered being really tired a lot and laying on the couch a lot and asking for a lot of help from parents who had other kids. Also my grandmother and her sisters helped a lot. The twins were born when my dad waas still in medical school, so I think she got help with them through some type of program the school offered.

I don't know about car seats because I am not even really sure they had them back then, I don't even think they had them for me!

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#5 of 10 Old 05-24-2010, 12:54 PM
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First thing I would do is definatly stop carrying those bucket seats0around! those suckers are heavy! I would invest in some good carriers. SPend some time over at slings are a LIFESAVER when you have two little ones. Spend some time perfecting carries so you're not trying to do it with screaming children
THe other thing I did was to start thinking through my every day things and how I could best modify them to be done while meeting the needs of my babies. THings like showers....I take mine into the br with me shut the door and put toys on the floor that wait I know where they are. Going to the time myo oldest still needed help going to sleep. So I started slowing teaching him to lay down while i p
atted his back instead of rockint. THAt way I could have new baby in the wrap. Getting out to the car.....pop baby in the wrap and out other one on the hip. Click in big one run back in and get bag(which always needs to be packed the night before) come back out put baby in and off we go. I have lots of kids music0in the car and books to entertain bc we are on the go alot.
Just a couple thoughts but you get the idea
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#6 of 10 Old 05-24-2010, 02:50 PM
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I was going to say something similar about the car seat. If you keep the baby in the car seat that is fine but your older child will no longer be in an infant seat (they are too heavy to carry for a child that age and 1yo typically are too large for the bucket seat) You will have already switched her to a rear facing convertible car seat so You won't have that issue to deal with.
When ds2 was born he was very high needs and needed to be held constantly ds1 wanted to be held anytime I held ds2 so....... I perfected a system where I would first place my infant on my front in either a moby or a mei tai (both worked) and then would place my toddler on back in the ergo. I have since used 2 ergos and that wors well also. I got lots of stares but also got a lot of errands and housework done that would not have gotten accomplished otherwise.

For out and about it is good to have more than 1 system. I have a double stroller that takes the carrier so if my lo was asleep and so was the toddler I could snap the lo into the stroller and then transfer the toddler. I also had the exact same stroller as a single so I could use it for just the toddler and wear the baby or wear the toddler and snap in the baby. I also always had a carrier for both of the little ones in my car. It may seem like a lot but for us we spend a lot of time in the car and it is important to be prepared. I used the combi system.

I always kept a diaper bag packed and would re-vamp it every evening. I had the ergo bag so it attaches to my carrier so if I am wearing both kids I can still wear the bag.

For bathing I take a bath and whoever wants to join me can. It works really well.

As far as comments that other people make it really is none of their business. It will be busy but fun at your home

when this lo is born my kids will be 8,6,4(just barely),2(just barely), and the newborn so shoud be exciting

nicole wild.gif,  mom to 3 boys here on earth jumpers.gif 9, 7 and 4.5 and 2 girl's fly-by-nursing2.gif2.5 and 10/16/11. Always remembering my babies in heaven:  Sam (9/7/05) at 12.5 wks  angel1.gif, Morgan (2/13/06) at 6 wks angel1.gif , Emeric angel2.gif (8/9/10 at 17 wks) and Pepper angel1.gif (11/26/10) at 8wks. 

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#7 of 10 Old 05-24-2010, 03:49 PM
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You won't be using a child carrier/infant seat for your one year old so that problem will be easily solved. Stroller! A double stroller if you don't like to use slings for your newborn.

As far as getting rest, I really think that you probably would have it easier than someone with an older child. Your baby still naps! That should give you ample time to kick back for now. Once the baby is born, it will be a little trickier, but your one year old should still be napping once a day so that will be a nice break.

I don't know how to respond to the comments. Truth be told, we've only spilled to the ILs and to my sister because I know that a few people are going to have opinions that I would rather not hear. If more than 2 kids is a crime, I should be locked away for being pregnant with my 5th. That's how it feels though. I'm still dreading having to tell people. I'm waiting until 3 months at least to spill to anyone else. I wouldn't want to have to deal with comments again if, heaven forbid, something happens.

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#8 of 10 Old 05-24-2010, 03:59 PM
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Congrats mama

Mine are 16 months apart and my oldest is now 30 months. The first 6 months are truly about survival. Getting everyone fed, changing diapers, doing a little laundry, grocery shopping and that's about it.

As for car seats, dd was in her Blvd and ds rode in a Safeseat for the first 6 months. I wore ds nearly everywhere b/c it was much easier.

As for your pregnancy, mine was draining and I laid on the couch a lot for the first 4 months. I had about zero energy and taking my prenatal was imperative.

I ask for help a lot. Lately my MIL comes over about once a week, for a few hours, and watches them while I get chores done or run errands. It's wonderful

As for people asking you, just be honest

The most important thing I learned early on was keeping a positive attitude. When people say "Boy, you're sure busy", I say "Yeah, I love it". I really do. There of course are plenty of difficult times, but the good much out weigh the bad.

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#9 of 10 Old 05-26-2010, 12:21 AM
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Well, I dont have advice. But I am Will have 2 under 2. My babies will be 21ish months apart. Which is crazy! But I recommend Slings. I fell in LOVE with my moby wrap! LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!! i loved being able to carry my DD> and I will be using it again to carry the second so i can chase the first around! Congrats and good luck!
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#10 of 10 Old 05-26-2010, 11:49 AM
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Tandem nurse! It is my secret weapon...
A sling is a must.
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