I was actually a member of the January 2010 Due Date club . And would love some advice from ya'll that have small children close together. we will just be celebrating our daughters first birthday about the time this one will be due .For some reason I thought it would take us longer the second time around but I guess I was wrong about that. lol
Anyways ... any advice would be great....but a couple questions I do have :
How do I manage if DD is not walking yet? How can I carry two car seats at a time ?
How did you get all the rest you need in the first trimester ? I am exhausted all the time right now.
How do you respond to all the people who question you getting pregnant so soon after the last one? I know its no one else business but I have been getting some weird reactions....(My mom was like "good, now you can get your tubes tied after this one" )not that I see anything wrong with this but, I dont know if we will be done after this one. Why does everyone think that having more than two kids is a crime?
Sorry this is kinda long ...I got on a roll..lol
I didn't have the same experience with getting pregnant close together but I'm having #5 and I'm getting a lot of grief from people. I don't see how my fertility is anyone else's business. If I were you I would say something like "We love our dd so much, we couldn't wait to get started on the next one!"
Rest is hard right now. I'm pregnant with a 2 year old home most days, plus I feel like I never slow down with my 3 older dd's schedules. The only way I feel like I can squeeze in some down time is in the evenings when dh gets home from work. I usually hit the couch after dinner and let him get everyone ready for bed. I've been avoiding napping because it keeps me from sleeping well at night but just taking it easy goes a long way for my sanity.
Good luck, it sounds like an exciting time for you. It's funny that you're a Jan mom, 3 of my girls were born in April so I have to always watch it in July!
Do you have any family nearby who might be able to help? I've been having someone to come over on the weekends (my mom, little brothers) to help clean up and prep meals for the week. It makes the weekdays, when DH is gone, much easier.
We've gotten some odd responses as well, my favorite being "Is that what you wanted?" (directed at DH only) . I feel like I need a t-shirt that says, "Yes, this was planned, and yes, we know how 'it' happens". So far, I just ignore them.
This will only be our second, and they'll be 19 months apart, so I'll be subbing for ideas as well!
Anyhow, I asked her recently how she dealt with morning sickness while taking care of more than one kid, (because I can barely do it with one) and she said she remembered being really tired a lot and laying on the couch a lot and asking for a lot of help from parents who had other kids. Also my grandmother and her sisters helped a lot. The twins were born when my dad waas still in medical school, so I think she got help with them through some type of program the school offered.
I don't know about car seats because I am not even really sure they had them back then, I don't even think they had them for me!
THe other thing I did was to start thinking through my every day things and how I could best modify them to be done while meeting the needs of my babies. THings like showers....I take mine into the br with me shut the door and put toys on the floor that wait I know where they are. Going to bed.....at the time myo oldest still needed help going to sleep. So I started slowing teaching him to lay down while i p
atted his back instead of rockint. THAt way I could have new baby in the wrap. Getting out to the car.....pop baby in the wrap and out other one on the hip. Click in big one run back in and get bag(which always needs to be packed the night before) come back out put baby in and off we go. I have lots of kids music0in the car and books to entertain bc we are on the go alot.
Just a couple thoughts but you get the idea
When ds2 was born he was very high needs and needed to be held constantly ds1 wanted to be held anytime I held ds2 so....... I perfected a system where I would first place my infant on my front in either a moby or a mei tai (both worked) and then would place my toddler on back in the ergo. I have since used 2 ergos and that wors well also. I got lots of stares but also got a lot of errands and housework done that would not have gotten accomplished otherwise.
For out and about it is good to have more than 1 system. I have a double stroller that takes the carrier so if my lo was asleep and so was the toddler I could snap the lo into the stroller and then transfer the toddler. I also had the exact same stroller as a single so I could use it for just the toddler and wear the baby or wear the toddler and snap in the baby. I also always had a carrier for both of the little ones in my car. It may seem like a lot but for us we spend a lot of time in the car and it is important to be prepared. I used the combi system.
I always kept a diaper bag packed and would re-vamp it every evening. I had the ergo bag so it attaches to my carrier so if I am wearing both kids I can still wear the bag.
For bathing I take a bath and whoever wants to join me can. It works really well.
As far as comments that other people make it really is none of their business. It will be busy but fun at your home
when this lo is born my kids will be 8,6,4(just barely),2(just barely), and the newborn so shoud be exciting
nicole , mom to 3 boys here on earth 9, 7 and 4.5 and 2 girl's 2.5 and 10/16/11. Always remembering my babies in heaven: Sam (9/7/05) at 12.5 wks , Morgan (2/13/06) at 6 wks , Emeric (8/9/10 at 17 wks) and Pepper (11/26/10) at 8wks.
As far as getting rest, I really think that you probably would have it easier than someone with an older child. Your baby still naps! That should give you ample time to kick back for now. Once the baby is born, it will be a little trickier, but your one year old should still be napping once a day so that will be a nice break.
I don't know how to respond to the comments. Truth be told, we've only spilled to the ILs and to my sister because I know that a few people are going to have opinions that I would rather not hear. If more than 2 kids is a crime, I should be locked away for being pregnant with my 5th. That's how it feels though. I'm still dreading having to tell people. I'm waiting until 3 months at least to spill to anyone else. I wouldn't want to have to deal with comments again if, heaven forbid, something happens.
Mom to (12), (7), (5), (4), (born 7/8/11), , and
Mine are 16 months apart and my oldest is now 30 months. The first 6 months are truly about survival. Getting everyone fed, changing diapers, doing a little laundry, grocery shopping and that's about it.
As for car seats, dd was in her Blvd and ds rode in a Safeseat for the first 6 months. I wore ds nearly everywhere b/c it was much easier.
As for your pregnancy, mine was draining and I laid on the couch a lot for the first 4 months. I had about zero energy and taking my prenatal was imperative.
I ask for help a lot. Lately my MIL comes over about once a week, for a few hours, and watches them while I get chores done or run errands. It's wonderful
As for people asking you, just be honest
The most important thing I learned early on was keeping a positive attitude. When people say "Boy, you're sure busy", I say "Yeah, I love it". I really do. There of course are plenty of difficult times, but the good much out weigh the bad.