My due date was wrong, wrong, wrong UPDATE: Picked a midwife! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 31 Old 05-27-2010, 12:18 PM - Thread Starter
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I just got back from an appointment with my gynecologist (I haven't decided on a midwife yet - note to self: get on this!) and despite me not liking ultrasounds on principle this is a high-risk pregnancy so I decided to go ahead and have one (my gynecologist is not pushy at all. Rare, I know).

He did the scan himself and almost immediately the heartbeat started thrumming through the exam room. DF and I looked and each other just had no words. It was amazing and made it seem all the more real. That's our baby. We're really, finally, going to be parents. I think I said "Oh, my goodness," once and DF just kept repeating "Wow," over and over again.

Then my doctor goes, "So, far along did you say you were, again"

Alarm bells started to go off in my head.

"Seven weeks today," I said.

"Hmm," he said.

Danger, Will Robinson!

This is were DF jumped in - "Hmm? What does "hmm" mean?"

"Well, she seems to be measuring a bit large for seven weeks."

Please bear in mind that I started out at around 100, probably (I'm 5' tall, on the nose). I don't have a scale and the last time I'd been weighed was at my GP's for an ear infection a few months ago and I was 106 then. Keeping weight on is a battle for me (I have a thyroid issue and take a lot of medication for other medical issues) so I know I went down a little before getting pregnant and ever since MS kicked in I know I've lost a even more - when the nurse weighed me this morning I was at 97, which I can't stand (I try my hardest to stay in the triple digits.)

So, before DF could say anything I jumped back in, "What do you mean "large"? I'm 97 pounds for crying out loud!"

"Losing weight in the first trimester is completely normal. You have nothing to worry about," he said.

Queue both DF and I letting out a sigh of relief.

"You're just a little farther along than Dr. Last (my rheumatologist) thought, that's all. No worries."

"Farther along?" I asked, "Exactly how much "further along" am I?"

"Well, based on what I'm seeing I'd say you are almost nine weeks along."

So, to recap: I'm a idiot. I'm not due January 12th, I'm due January 2nd. At least for now, that is. And now I've just lost almost two weeks.
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#2 of 31 Old 05-27-2010, 12:27 PM
 
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Wow, so what was this last cycle like for you, did you have a long or wonky cycle, did you chart? What were you basing your 1/12 date on?

Congrats on seeing the heartbeat!

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#3 of 31 Old 05-27-2010, 12:33 PM - Thread Starter
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Wow, so what was this last cycle like for you, did you have a long or wonky cycle, did you chart? What were you basing your 1/12 date on?

Congrats on seeing the heartbeat!
The January 12th date was based on the first day of my last period, but my GYN thinks I must have just ovulated super early after my period. Who knows? I've gotta say, I don't really care as long as I'm still having a baby.

While on one hand I'm a little bit out of sorts over losing nearly two weeks, on the other I'm incredibly happy over it because I'm just waiting for the first trimester to be over. I can't wait to hit that milestone, you know?

ETA: Oh! And thank you so much! It was amazing the see and hear that thump, thump, thumping. I've always known intellectually that babies heartbeats are extra fast in the womb, but to hear your own baby's heartbeat going crazy like that is an experience you have to experience to really understand. DF and I are both floating right now.
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#4 of 31 Old 05-27-2010, 12:40 PM
 
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soz ddcc your not an idiot, i am though i thought you'd put you were 9 wk further along until i saw your sig then re-read your post lol.

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#5 of 31 Old 05-27-2010, 12:57 PM
 
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Congrats on hearing that heartbeat!

WAHM to Ladybug (13 months) and Bumblebee
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#6 of 31 Old 05-27-2010, 01:41 PM
 
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Originally Posted by paintedfire View Post
The January 12th date was based on the first day of my last period, but my GYN thinks I must have just ovulated super early after my period. Who knows? I've gotta say, I don't really care as long as I'm still having a baby.
Well that is good, I think. My OB used the little wheel thing on my last period even though I told her my cycles were long, and I was always measuring behind and I was like NO I AM NOT, my cycles aren't 28 days.

So at least he is willing to see that he could be wrong!

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#7 of 31 Old 05-27-2010, 01:46 PM - Thread Starter
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soz ddcc your not an idiot, i am though i thought you'd put you were 9 wk further along until i saw your sig then re-read your post lol.
Thanks. You're not an idiot, either - I'm wordy. I often find myself being asked to repeat things or to talk slower.

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Congrats on hearing that heartbeat!
Thank you. It was amazing! My GYN taped it and gave us a copy and printed out a couple of pictures (which I can't make out at all - it's gonna be a while before I can, I think) but I've already got the recording of the heartbeat on my computer, iPhone, iPod, and iPod Shuffle (Apple geek here!). I just keep listening to it over and over. Thank goodness I'm at DF's place finishing up his packing and not at my apartment because it would freak my cat out, big time.

You know . . . that's an idea.
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#8 of 31 Old 05-27-2010, 01:47 PM
 
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Hmm, I just want to mention a caution here. Congrats on the healthy pregnancy & heartbeat, etc., but I'd be VERY wary about moving an EDD up by 10 days. You said you based it on your LMP which in my experience is pretty accurate for most with regular cycles. If anything, some women ovulate LATER, but is the doc suggesting you ovulated on day 4 of your cycle? Like when you were still having your period?

I dunno, I'm just saying that EDD's don't seem to mean much when you're early on, in fact it feels neat to be "further along"... but imagine being 9 months pregnant, and the baby still thinks he or she is 39 weeks but now you "chart" says you are 41 weeks, then 42, and people start talking about inducing you. SOOO much harder to go back and get that EDD adjusted back to Jan 12th.

Sorry, that's just my 2 cents. I think this is a factor in the induction epidemic in our country, so I wanted to at least suggest leaving your due date where it first was, on the later date.

Good luck with everything!!

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#9 of 31 Old 05-27-2010, 01:47 PM
 
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It's seems crazy to think you ovulated on day 4 of your cycle? I wonder if the next u/s will shift it back again a bit, I would not be surprised. I personally would not let them move my date, since 10 days can really matter at the end when they are rushing to to induce or risking you our of a birth on your terms.

Are you planning a second u/s still in the early stages to possibly double check the info you got with this one?

In the end the great thing is you have a little one growing in there, the rest is secondary to that!!

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#10 of 31 Old 05-27-2010, 01:50 PM
 
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Hehe we boost posted the same thing at the same time. I do think this is something to think about.

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#11 of 31 Old 05-27-2010, 01:51 PM
 
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just make sure they make a not of it bcs this being your first there is a chance you could go "over" and if they have already added 2 wks than they may start pushing for induction waaaaay before your baby is ready to come out. Just something to keep in mind.

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#12 of 31 Old 05-27-2010, 01:51 PM - Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by lillymonster View Post
Well that is good, I think. My OB used the little wheel thing on my last period even though I told her my cycles were long, and I was always measuring behind and I was like NO I AM NOT, my cycles aren't 28 days.

So at least he is willing to see that he could be wrong!
Sorry about your unsupportive OB. I've been through about a entire stadium's share of Dr's in my life so I have absolutely no patience for ones that can't work outside of the box. My OB-GYN is pretty awesome. If I weren't sure about wanting a home birth then I know he'd support my decisions inside the hospital. He's already told me that he knows that I want to have a home birth and he's going to work with my rheumatologist and my GP (and hopefully my midwife, once I find one that is) so that my chances at having the birth I want are as good as they can possibly be.
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#13 of 31 Old 05-27-2010, 01:56 PM - Thread Starter
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Hmm, I just want to mention a caution here. Congrats on the healthy pregnancy & heartbeat, etc., but I'd be VERY wary about moving an EDD up by 10 days. You said you based it on your LMP which in my experience is pretty accurate for most with regular cycles. If anything, some women ovulate LATER, but is the doc suggesting you ovulated on day 4 of your cycle? Like when you were still having your period?

I dunno, I'm just saying that EDD's don't seem to mean much when you're early on, in fact it feels neat to be "further along"... but imagine being 9 months pregnant, and the baby still thinks he or she is 39 weeks but now you "chart" says you are 41 weeks, then 42, and people start talking about inducing you. SOOO much harder to go back and get that EDD adjusted back to Jan 12th.

Sorry, that's just my 2 cents. I think this is a factor in the induction epidemic in our country, so I wanted to at least suggest leaving your due date where it first was, on the later date.

Good luck with everything!!
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It's seems crazy to think you ovulated on day 4 of your cycle? I wonder if the next u/s will shift it back again a bit, I would not be surprised. I personally would not let them move my date, since 10 days can really matter at the end when they are rushing to to induce or risking you our of a birth on your terms.

Are you planning a second u/s still in the early stages to possibly double check the info you got with this one?

In the end the great thing is you have a little one growing in there, the rest is secondary to that!!
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just make sure they make a not of it bcs this being your first there is a chance you could go "over" and if they have already added 2 wks than they may start pushing for induction waaaaay before your baby is ready to come out. Just something to keep in mind.
Thank you to all three of you for your input. I really mean it when I say I appreciate any and all discourse. You ladies are proving to be absolutely invaluable.

I am COMPLETELY AGAINST induction. All of my doctor's know this, even my chiropractor.

The only way in the universe I would ever consider even thinking about induction is if my blood pressure where to skyrocket (I have chronic hypertension) but even then I would prefer to be treated and try and see if I could wait it out, so to speak.

I've had many, many surgeries in my life. I'm not planning on having any more. Period.
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#14 of 31 Old 05-27-2010, 02:25 PM
 
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Congratulations on seeing your baby and hearing the heart beat!

I can certainly understand where the pps are coming from - last pregnancy I refused to let my doctor augment my due date by *one day* never mind 10! When you are in the last days of pregnancy, 10 days makes a huge difference. I think that the worry comes not from your own positions on induction or c-section, which are admiral, but on the position of the medical community at large. I think that no matter how open minded your team is, you will be hard pressed to find a birth professional willing to let you go beyond a certain point (be that 42 weeks or 43). Just like it's not safe if a baby arrives too early, it's not safe if they are too late either. Babies who stay in the womb to late can risk a difficult delivery or not surviving, so of course they will be looking out for the best interest of your child. Most births end up being right on baby's time, when it's the right time for baby to come - so I think that people are thinking is that you want to make sure you give them as much wiggle room as possible.

I hope that all makes sense. In the end, I think you need to trust yourself and your OB-GYN and if you do, then absolutely there's no problem with having your due date pushed forward! But of course, it's always important to look at it from all perspectives and understand exactly what that could mean in 32 weeks.

I'm sure that everything will turn out fine, you will have a happy and healthy nine months, and we are all worrying you over nothing

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once you get to 40wks or even close than they will really push induction on you. Many hbmw can't deliver beyond 42wks so it is good to always keep that in mind. Just make sure that there is a not of what your original edd was presumed to be and that it was changed and why. That just might give you more recourse in the end.
So glad you got to see the heart beat.

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You shouldn't have to fight an induction! Just get your EDD back to the 12th

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#17 of 31 Old 05-27-2010, 02:41 PM
 
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Yeah my real worry is you getting risked out of midwife and homecare because you go past an incorrectly counted 42 weeks. Betting to get on it now and be safe on the other end for any eventuallity.

You sound like a strong woman, I. Sure you'll do what you need to and feel is right.

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#18 of 31 Old 05-27-2010, 03:52 PM - Thread Starter
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I want to thank you all again for your words of advice. I know they come from a place of genuine care for me and my baby. Again, you gals are awesome! I just don't think it can be said enough.

I talked to my gynecologist about this very issue. We've already talked about my feelings towards induction and cesareans in the past, so he already knows I feel about those subjects. I brought them up again, told him I didn't feel comfortable moving the date if it meant I was going to be faced with pressure or be risked out by a midwife because they think I'm too advanced. He came through like he always does and was awesome about the whole thing. He said that from the ultrasound and my measurements I'm nine weeks along, unless I'm having twins (yikes!) and since the ultrasound showed only on sac and heartbeat that isn't it. I'm nine weeks along.

I have scarily average every twenty-eight day periods but I also have odd spotting quite a bit. I suffer from endometriosis, so when DF and I decided to try to have a baby I went to him and talked about wether I needed to have another laparoscopic procedure to remove any adhesions (my last procedure was following an ectopic pregnancy when I was twenty). He did an ultrasound which was inconclusive, so we decided - together - to have an MRI done. I HATE MRI's. That was positive for a recurrence of the adhesions. He told me after the surgery that it was even worse than they had thought - the adhesions were EVERYWHERE, even on my lungs in some places. After I got over being freaked out about how bad it was, I became very glad that it had been taken care of.

I've got it narrowed down to two midwives and one of the reasons they're the ones on my shortlist is because they're both completely willing to work in concert with my DR's and because they are willing to let the pregnancy progress as long as it needs to, provided that neither baby or I are in any trouble. They only reason I haven't picked one yet is because DF hasn't met one of them. I've got a follow-up with her scheduled for Monday that he's going with me to and after that I'll make my decision.

I'll be sure to let you all know what happens, like I do with nearly everything else. I think I talk to you guys more than my Mom now.
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#19 of 31 Old 05-27-2010, 05:01 PM
 
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I'm glad you see our concern comes from the love and bond we all so lucky to find here on MDC and also glad to here that you are such a proactive and powerful force for your own health care. I really look forward to spending this pregnancy with you and the other great ladies on this board.

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#20 of 31 Old 05-27-2010, 05:13 PM
 
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Am I the only one DYING to see if you have a link with pictures somewhere?!? I would love to be able to show you what you are seeing!!!???!! I seriously LOOOOOOVE u/s pics.

Heather: Mama to my amazing boys A-14.5, C-13, & M-5.5, and my sweet girl S-2.5 and introducing our little surprise Liam Michael, born 12/28!
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#21 of 31 Old 05-27-2010, 05:28 PM - Thread Starter
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I'm glad you see our concern comes from the love and bond we all so lucky to find here on MDC and also glad to here that you are such a proactive and powerful force for your own health care. I really look forward to spending this pregnancy with you and the other great ladies on this board.
I got that immediately and after I started a thread about prescription medication during pregnancy and didn't receive a single nasty comment I (which has always been a big fear of mine, in real life as well) I knew I had found my home, if I can be a big cheese ball for just a second.

I learned early that I was going to have to be an active participant in my own healthcare. I've been sick since birth, basically. And then, well, this happened (warning: graphic.).

Following that I was I was diagnosed with lupus when I was eleven and as if that's not enough I also have allergies, asthma, fibromyalgia, migraines, and an under-active thyroid (among other things).

For me, everyday is a combination of struggle, weakness, pain, compromise, and victory over having made it through another twenty-four hours, all in one. I learned a long time ago not to let doctors walk all over me and that they don't always know what's best. I have absolutely no qualms over disagreeing or "shopping," so to speak, for a new specialist. Meanwhile, I'm still one of those people who feels bad about "breaking up" with their hair stylist. Allergist? See ya. Manicurist? I keep going and going even when the polish chips the very next day. So I've still got my issues to work on, but doctors ARE NOT one of them.


P.S.: I'm so excited about sharing this time with all of you as well! It's going to be a great - albeit bumpy, I'm sure - ride.
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#22 of 31 Old 05-27-2010, 05:32 PM - Thread Starter
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Am I the only one DYING to see if you have a link with pictures somewhere?!? I would love to be able to show you what you are seeing!!!???!! I seriously LOOOOOOVE u/s pics.
I know! I love ultrasound pictures, too! Even when I can't tell what's what .

Unfortunately, my scanner is already packed and DF doesn't have one anymore (his broke about three months ago and since I have a really nice one and we have been planning this move since January he didn't bother getting a new one) so since I'm here it's a moot point anyway.

I really, really wish I could show them to you guys. Maybe you could make something out!
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#23 of 31 Old 05-27-2010, 05:37 PM
 
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take a picture of it!

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#24 of 31 Old 05-27-2010, 06:00 PM - Thread Starter
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take a picture of it!
DF took off with my iPhone so he could let everyone in his office listen to the heartbeat (he's a dork, but I love him so ), so these a courtesy of my crappy government-issued cell, although I'm pretty sure this isn't what they had in mind. Good thing I already gave my notice!

Crappy government cell photo, as per the requests

There ya go! It's so cool isn't, it? It looks so developed even though it's just somewhere between the size of a kidney bean and a grape. I can't get over it.
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#25 of 31 Old 05-27-2010, 06:26 PM
 
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I can only tell where the head is at in the 2nd pic (where the + is), but it makes me wonder if it was so close to the uterus the whole time if that may have made it harder to measure the crown to rump? Tell you what though, I would loooove to lose a couple weeks! Your little babe is so cute! At my 8w3d u/s he said my baby was an inch long, and inch!! Wow, that is so awesome! 18 more to go!!! lol

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#26 of 31 Old 06-01-2010, 01:56 PM - Thread Starter
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iPhone update from lunch (yummy, yummy miso soup ).

DF and I just had a meeting with one of the two midwives I narrowed it down to. Some of my criteria included: okay with all of my medical issues, okay with letting pregnancy progress as long as it needs to without risking me out, wiling to work in concert with my other doctor's, etc..

DF wasn't able to make it to my initial consultation with the midwife we saw today (he was there to meet the other and I didn't want to make a decision without his input) so after I figured after today I'd be able to make a decision.

I was right.

Both the midwives are more than capable and I quite enjoyed both of them, but there's just something about the one from today that I can't quite put my finger on. She just makes me feel . . . comfortable.

She's down-to-earth, didn't so much as flinch when I went down the list of all my illnesses or how over how much medication I take.

Halfway through the visit she went to her car get a book to give to DF and he turned to me and said, "She's the one, isn't she?"

Yes, DF. Yes, she is.
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#27 of 31 Old 06-01-2010, 02:11 PM
 
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That's great!

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#28 of 31 Old 06-01-2010, 02:22 PM - Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by •Adorkable• View Post
That's great!
Thank you!

I explained the due date change to her since when I saw her before I was still the 12th. She's worked with my GYN in the past so she trusts his judgement and she measured me herself today and I come out right at nine weeks.

She's completely willing to let me go as far as I need to and promised that unless the baby or I were in legitimate danger she would never risk me out or push induction. I'm very happy.
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#29 of 31 Old 06-01-2010, 02:47 PM
 
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That's awesome!
We are meeting with another midwife this weekend & hope we like her. I didn't really click with the first one we saw.

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#30 of 31 Old 06-01-2010, 03:46 PM
 
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All I can say, besides congratulations, is.... I hope that ultrasound won't come back to haunt you, if you turn out to be a "slow cooker" and live in a state where your midwife may be forced by law to transfer you back to an OB if you are still pregnant past some arbitrary date, such as the 40 week mark, or the 42 week mark.

In that spirit, I am not having any ultrasounds this time, unless my midwife feels or hears something that would cause her to be concerned enough to recommend one. First I will find out if the long arm of the law will have her hands tied if I go past 42 weeks, and based on that, if it does, I plan on padding my LMP as 2 weeks later than it actually occurred, giving me a full 44, just in case. If no such strictures on her practice apply here, I won't worry about it. But LMP is a matter of my word against the world's, so long as I don't get ultrasounded. Fundal Measurements are decently accurate until 20 weeks, but mean little to nothing thereafter (I measured consistently small in the third tri, and had a 10 lb HBAC, last time!), but her experience spans decades, and she's up on the happy equine poopoo going on in politics surrounding birth choice, so if her measurements don't match my given dates in the beginning, I am pretty sure she will quietly raise an eyebrow, catch my eye, nod, and leave my dates as stated, and move on to the next topic.

I'm not too worried about going long this time, as I went into labor spontaneously last time at just a few days past 40 weeks... but because I have smelled how the politics are, I'm not having an ultrasound. The last thing in the world I need is some doc shaving an extra 2 weeks off my "legal" time to gestate in peace, based on an ultrasound, that would then be officially part of my medical history. No thanks, nohow!

I sure hope you either won't be a slow cooker, or else that legislative restrictions haven't placed midwifery at the mercy of obstetrics in your area.

As for the dangers of remaining pregnant longer than someone's arbitrary cutoff... my OB said it was too dangerous to let me remain pregnant longer than 40 weeks, and my HBAC proved otherwise. There are horror stories about things going wrong and labor not starting on its own... placental problems, problems with the baby, mysterious problems, etc, but they are quite rare. If every baby was in some danger past this or that week agreed upon by obstetricians, there would be no such thing as the "44 week club". THere are plenty of women right here on Mothering who have gone well past 42 weeks with each and every child, many of those babies born covered in vernix (so much for "postmaturity" in those cases!)... and where would legislation making it illegal for midwives to attend their births at home after 42 weeks, leave them? They would be cesarean statistics, and for no good reason.

And yet mainstream people think laws like that are "for women's own good" and therefore see no problem with trampling our rights to bodily integrity, medical autonomy, and the right to refuse treatment, into the dust. Women definitely have to stop accepting that anyone else has the right to make decisions about their bodies, "for our own good".

Soapbox lecture over. Sorry. Just an issue I really care about, because I have a daughter and very much fear for her rights as an adult woman, if she ever becomes pregnant, the way things are going.

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