The mailman couldn't get in the gate because DH left a stump he wanted to do woodcarving on in the way, so I was explaining briefly as I took the mail, that yes, I needed to do some major yard cleanup, but hadn't done anything in weeks because we were expecting, and I hadn't been too functional lately.
So... I should have expected this, because once you have more than the socially-sanctioned 1.2 kids, you are an open target for everyone's opinions as to your out-of-control rabbit-like breeding habits.
He goes "Wow...THREE bundles of joy, eh?" looking pointedly at my 5 yo DD and 2 yo DS.
I said, a bit icily, "I have friends who have 5, and they manage."
And he said "Well, we have two and that's a plenty."
I said "Everybody's got an opinion these days!" and went inside.
Erg, why the heck does he feel it's any of his business?
I swear I need to think of something more pointed to say back, because this isn't the last time I will have to hear disparaging comments about us having more than 2 kids.
I wish I had remembered in time to retort in the manner of Caroline Ingalls to the Olsen woman (who had crappy comments about her family size, and said something similar to "well TWO are PLENTY for me!" : "Yes, in your case I can see why."
40ish raising 3 kids with the help of their loving father.
Becky, sahm to 25/04/2000 Chloe 12/04/2002 Cameron 19/02/2004 Caitlin 28/06/2005 24/07/2006 and Caden 14/03/2008
19.05.2012 18.08.2012 24.05.2013 25.6.2013 04.09.2014
When I was pregnant with my 2nd I had an old co-worker say something rude about the number of kids I had. It was just just weird. I guess it was because I had quit my job (that I worked with him) when I was pregnant with my first. I didn't see him for 2 years and when I saw him again I was pregnant again. But really....2 kids????
May I suggest adopting a very large dog and training them to bark at anyone wearing a uniform?
Really, though, I'm so sorry about that. My Mom's younger sister always said snide things about her because she had "so many kids," - so many being three. Guess how many her sister ended up having?
I'd be interested in hearing what that mailman would have to say about a good childhood friend of mine who is 29 and expecting her sixth with no plans to stop (the little girl they want is eluding them pretty well).
When it comes to parenting, I think a lot of people feel like they've got it 'right', be it by having the 'right' number of kids, the 'right' age spacing, the 'right' discipline methods, etc. Someone doing something different is a challenge to their choices. Obviously if 2 was right for him, it should be right for everyone, you know?
Sorry you're having to deal with this! If it makes you feel any better, I'm under fire from all directions for having mine too close together in age. There are family members going behind my back stating that this MUST have been an accidental pregnancy, because WHO would choose to have 2 under 2??? You're not alone!
I thought your response was great, by the way. Maybe he'll think twice before sharing his unsolicited opinion on the topic again.
The gender comments, now THOSE make me want to pull my hair out. Seems everyone can feel the need to tell us we are done because we *finally* got our little girl. Oh and when we found out #3 was a boy, a cashier at Walmart actually asked my TWO SONS if they were sad they were having a brother and not a sister because "girls are so much better than boys!?!?"
When people comment that they are glad they only have 1 or 2 kids or whatever, I usually reply "me too". The hands full I answer "If you think my hands are full, you should see my heart".
I completely understand. Our oldest 2 are a boy, and a girl. So people couldn't understand why we felt the need to have #3, and #4. Now, we are expecting #5, and have just decided to not tell anyone we know won't be absolutely happy and supportive of us for as long as possible.
Amethyst (May 2002)
Asheby "Bear" (November 2006)
Abbott (January 2011)
Atlas (March 2013)
I haven't had any comments about this one YET (#3), but I when I was pregnant with #2 I had at least two parents of singletons tell me that they were "too busy enjoying the first one" to have another. Oh, well, obviously my first one bores me to tears, since I'm having a second one. What on Earth?
There have been plenty of comments about the sex of this baby, because people assume that I MUST want a boy, since I ALREADY have two girls. Actually, I really don't care either way, but thanks for the encouragement.
boogiemonster | the hairy scotsman | anna the elf | lucy the sprite | wee faerie faye, born 01/02/11
(I mean--other than the fact that he's been an unemployed engineer for so long it's making him crazy, and the recession has almost buried my hand crafted glass jewelry business...)
I agree, it really sounds like he was just chatting.
DCP to 1 busy munchkin! and a CRST too!
We were at disney world recently and my 3 little ones were playing under splash mountain on the playground and a man was like wow your hands are full do you have any others and I said yes I have one more and we are expecting in January and he said wow. You guys need to get a TV. WTH!
I also get a lot of "you got your girl so now your done right" no actually we are expecting again "0h, will this one be enough for you or are you going to keep going?"
"wow you have a lot of kids your husband must have a great job" well no he is disabled and on disability and I am currently looking for work as my nanny job just ended and my business is slow bcs of the economy.
I just think it is frustrating that people think it is appropriate to comment on my sex life, my family size, finacial ability to care for them,etc.
nicole , mom to 3 boys here on earth 9, 7 and 4.5 and 2 girl's 2.5 and 10/16/11. Always remembering my babies in heaven: Sam (9/7/05) at 12.5 wks , Morgan (2/13/06) at 6 wks , Emeric (8/9/10 at 17 wks) and Pepper (11/26/10) at 8wks.
My MIL is always talking about how she had a 3 year spacing between kids and that worked out so well. When we told her I was preggo (DS will be 2 when baby is born), she was like, "Is this a good thing?" Then I saw her working out the math in her head and she said,"So DS1 will be 3 right?" Um no. I'm not an elephant; I won't be pregnant for two years. She's happy now, just shocked that other people made a different decision.