My Dad has cancer UPDATE in post #47 - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 51 Old 06-28-2010, 02:48 PM
 
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Hang in there! I know how you feel--my dad (also a very healthy man in his 70s) was diagnosed with prostate cancer while I was pregnant with my first. It was so, so scary and hard, especially since I didn't get to see him during almost the whole pregnancy. (I'm sure extra hormones rushing around don't make dealing with this kind of news any easier.) He made it through, though, and just has to keep an eye on things for now. I wish the same for your dad.

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#32 of 51 Old 06-28-2010, 05:11 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks for all the support guys. I really can't tell you how much I appreciate it. Have I mentioned lately how much I love this place and all of you? Because I do.

My Dad sees the specialist tomorrow afternoon, so after I talk to him I'll let you all know what the news is.

One good thing has happened, though: my Dad is the most stubborn man in the world. If he says he's going to do something, he does it. There's just no other way things will turn out. I had a long conversation with him yesterday and he assured me that he is committed to fighting this as hard as he needs to. He promised me that. I didn't know how much I needed to hear that until he said it. I'm ten pounds lighter. My Dad is going to beat this because he said so. To me, that makes perfect sense.

Again, thank you to everyone. I don't know what I would do without all of you. Frankly, I don't even want to think about that.
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#33 of 51 Old 06-28-2010, 09:16 PM
 
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HUGS hun!

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#34 of 51 Old 06-29-2010, 02:15 AM
 
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Wow, that's rough. *BIG HUG* Cancer is scary. But he sounds like a brave fellow. And as we have nothing to fear but fear itself I think he'll be just fine. Stay positive. He'll get plenty of time with his grandbaby. Now, for the friendly neighborhood hippie PSA... Don't forget to check into all the wonderful alternative natural treatments. I think they ought to be considered among conventional treatments as worthy weapons in the fight to get right. Blessings and peace and bravery for you and yours.
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#35 of 51 Old 06-30-2010, 01:57 AM - Thread Starter
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Once again, thanks so much for all of the amazing support. It means more to me than I could ever possibly express.

Okay, now The Update:

My Dad has an MRI scheduled for next Monday to make sure that the cancer hasn't spread beyond his prostate. I will be flying out sometime later this week to be with him.

If the cancer is localized completely within his prostate gland he will go through a surgical procedure called a radical retropubic prostatectomy (more on that here).

If, God forbid, the cancer has spread we will discuss options with his doctors then. For now, we're hoping that it's just in his prostate.

Fingers crossed everyone, okay?
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#36 of 51 Old 06-30-2010, 02:11 AM
 
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#37 of 51 Old 07-01-2010, 04:20 AM - Thread Starter
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Thanks.

I'm flying to Houston on Friday and will be there for an indefinite amount of time. I feel so torn - I want to be in Houston with my Dad but I want to be in Brooklyn with my DH, my cat, and my house too. The best of a bad situation, though, I guess?
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#38 of 51 Old 07-01-2010, 04:36 AM
 
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Thanks.

I'm flying to Houston on Friday and will be there for an indefinite amount of time. I feel so torn - I want to be in Houston with my Dad but I want to be in Brooklyn with my DH, my cat, and my house too. The best of a bad situation, though, I guess?
I'd just try to enjoy the time with your parents. It's like an excuse for an impromptu vacation. And if everything goes really well, you'll be back home in no time with a huge weight lifted AND you got to see your family. If everything doesn't go as well, you'll be glad you're there. And if you're there too long, hopefully your DH will be able to come out too. Probably not so much on the cat front... But cats don't need us lowly humans most of the time anyway.

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#39 of 51 Old 07-01-2010, 04:38 AM
 
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btw... what on earth are you doing up at this hour??? Isn't it nearly 4am in NY? Of course I'm always climbing into bed around 5am PST because DH works nights... But I like to throw big heavy stones from my glass house...

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#40 of 51 Old 07-01-2010, 05:13 AM - Thread Starter
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I'd just try to enjoy the time with your parents. It's like an excuse for an impromptu vacation. And if everything goes really well, you'll be back home in no time with a huge weight lifted AND you got to see your family. If everything doesn't go as well, you'll be glad you're there. And if you're there too long, hopefully your DH will be able to come out too. Probably not so much on the cat front... But cats don't need us lowly humans most of the time anyway.
Yeah. My Mom, my Dad, my oldest brother, my grandmother, a bunch of extended family members, and a ton of old friends all in live Houston so it will be nice to see them. I could do without the Houston weather, but what can you do?

Right now I'm trying to figure out where I'm going to stay. My parents are divorced - have been since I was a baby - but they raised me as a unit since I was nine, almost ten - including setting aside their differences and living in the same house to be there for me all the time. When I go back home I usually stay with my Mom (she lives in the house that we lived in when I was college) but my Dad doesn't live that far away (after I moved to England for grad school he moved a couple miles away into their rental property).

All my crap is in my room at my Mom's but I do have a room at my Dad's - we just always do gatherings at my Mom's because my Dad isn't much of a party person - when he's done, he's done. He mentioned me staying with my Mom, but I kind of want to put up a fight and stay with him. I can tell everyone else to stay away, if that's what he wants. I just feel like I need to be near him.

We'll see how that one goes (see my previous "most stubborn man in the world" comment).

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btw... what on earth are you doing up at this hour??? Isn't it nearly 4am in NY? Of course I'm always climbing into bed around 5am PST because DH works nights... But I like to throw big heavy stones from my glass house...
I know, I know. I've suffered from insomnia since I was a kid - I'm just not sleeping well as of late. I'm trying to take a lot of naps to make up for it, though. My DH doesn't get off work until midnight so there's that, but ever since I quit my job I'm basically up-and-down all. the. time.

I'm such a bum.
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#41 of 51 Old 07-01-2010, 05:41 AM
 
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I know, I know. I've suffered from insomnia since I was a kid - I'm just not sleeping well as of late. I'm trying to take a lot of naps to make up for it, though. My DH doesn't get off work until midnight so there's that, but ever since I quit my job I'm basically up-and-down all. the. time.

I'm such a bum.
No no... Just preparing for when you have a newborn and have to just nap on his/her schedule.

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#42 of 51 Old 07-01-2010, 05:49 AM - Thread Starter
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No no... Just preparing for when you have a newborn and have to just nap on his/her schedule.
That's a good way to look at it. Thanks.
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#43 of 51 Old 07-01-2010, 03:53 PM
 
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If your dad said anything about you staying at your moms, I would take the polite hint and stay with mom. Dad is probably feeling a lot in his world right now and having house guests will make him need to put on a good face all the time, when sometimes he may just really need alone time to sort thru thoughts.

Really think of him right now and make everything on his terms. You being there for him is so great, needing him to be there for house guests might be too much.

Does that make any sense?

partners.gif 2twins.gif  So what if I don't fit cleanly into a defined parenting style, my kids don't fit into a personality archetype either!

 
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#44 of 51 Old 07-01-2010, 09:07 PM - Thread Starter
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If your dad said anything about you staying at your moms, I would take the polite hint and stay with mom. Dad is probably feeling a lot in his world right now and having house guests will make him need to put on a good face all the time, when sometimes he may just really need alone time to sort thru thoughts.

Really think of him right now and make everything on his terms. You being there for him is so great, needing him to be there for house guests might be too much.

Does that make any sense?
Yeah, it does. I totally get what you're saying. I just think that my Dad mentioned me staying with my Mom because that's what almost always happens.

My Dad has a problem asking for help - see the "most stubborn man in the world" thing - again. He likes to pretend that he's above all the silly "emotions" that other people experience, but I know better. I can tell in his voice - he's scared, no matter how hard he's prepared to fight. He's lived a hell of a life and has a problem letting people in.

I'm expecting a call from him in just a bit and I'm just going to ask - do you want me to stay with you or Mom? It's his decision and I'll respect whatever he says.
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#45 of 51 Old 07-01-2010, 09:15 PM
 
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I am sorry that you and your family are going through this. My thoughts are with you.
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#46 of 51 Old 07-01-2010, 09:20 PM - Thread Starter
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I am sorry that you and your family are going through this. My thoughts are with you.
Thank you.
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#47 of 51 Old 07-07-2010, 05:01 AM - Thread Starter
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We got my Dad's MRI results on Tuesday afternoon: the cancer has spread to the surrounding lymph nodes, so they'll be removing those as well as his prostate in surgery on Friday.
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#48 of 51 Old 07-07-2010, 09:36 AM
 
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Oh, no—how scary! Hopefully they have spotted it all and will be able to remove it without issue on Friday. Big hugs to you and good luck to your dad!


 
 
 
 

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#49 of 51 Old 07-07-2010, 09:53 AM
 
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Good luck to your dad on Friday, I will be sending positive thoughts/

WAHM to Ladybug (13 months) and Bumblebee
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#50 of 51 Old 07-07-2010, 05:34 PM
 
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I'll be thinking of you and your dad. Please let us now how it goes.
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#51 of 51 Old 07-07-2010, 05:43 PM
 
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Right now, all around the world, people are praying for you and your family. Feel all our energy and love whenever you need it.

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