My Dad has cancer UPDATE in post #47 - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 51 Old 06-25-2010, 05:25 PM - Thread Starter
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I just posted this in grief but I think it probably belongs here more:

I just got a phone call from my Dad. He had his annual checkup last week. He's always been ridiculously healthy for a man of this age with his history, diet, and habits but last week was different.

My Dad was just diagnosed with prostate cancer.

I don't know what to do. I can't stop shaking or crying. I've already lost one father. I can't handle losing another - not this way.
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#2 of 51 Old 06-25-2010, 05:31 PM
 
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o gosh paintedfire. I'm so so very sorry. I know that this is devestating-- but I have heard of good outcomes with prostate cancer.

Anyway you can see him?

Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

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#3 of 51 Old 06-25-2010, 05:32 PM
 
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I know there's nothing I can say to ease the pain or make you feel even the tiniest bit better at such a terrible time. But I'm thinking about you and sending lots and lots of love and hugs. Keep your head up and hope for the best.



Wife to DH, Mommy to Amber 10/01/08 and Kyle 01/09/11
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#4 of 51 Old 06-25-2010, 05:35 PM
 
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I am so sorry to hear this. It's good that he gets check ups regularly,hopefully it's not advanced. He needs to get on the right treatment plan and fight. There are lots of survivors out there. It's hard, but all you can do is be there for him, and that means a lot. Sending healing thoughts to you and your family.
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#5 of 51 Old 06-25-2010, 05:36 PM
 
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I'm so sorry. What horrible news. I did a quick google; prostate cancer is considered very treatable, not that that makes it sting any less. I'll keep your family in my prayers.

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#6 of 51 Old 06-25-2010, 05:36 PM
 
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HUGS. Prostate cancer, I believe, is pretty treatable and slow growing. I hope he will be okay!
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#7 of 51 Old 06-25-2010, 05:48 PM - Thread Starter
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I just tried to call DF but he's upstate doing a interview today and I keep getting sent directly to his voice mail. He never turns his phone off so he must be out of range.

I'm the first person my Dad called. He's turning 78 in a little over two weeks, so he's not young but he's not terribly old, either. He does live in Houston, so he's got MD Anderson right there and that helps but I feel like I need to be there. He said I shouldn't come, but I don't think I'm going to listen to him.
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#8 of 51 Old 06-25-2010, 06:19 PM
 
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Hearing something like this. Must be so hard.
If I can suggest one thing from having been around a lot of medical folks, give it a few days or weeks to get to the bottom of things. There will be folow up test and a lot of things to figure out and get a plan of attack.
I understand his wanting you to stay put until things settle and the facts are know, these first days are so hard.

Hugs lady, we're here for you

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#9 of 51 Old 06-25-2010, 06:37 PM - Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by •Adorkable• View Post
Hearing something like this. Must be so hard.
If I can suggest one thing from having been around a lot of medical folks, give it a few days or weeks to get to the bottom of things. There will be folow up test and a lot of things to figure out and get a plan of attack.
I understand his wanting you to stay put until things settle and the facts are know, these first days are so hard.

Hugs lady, we're here for you
I get that, really I do. I just want to make him tea, you know? I'm a mother hen when not in crisis mode and hearing the word "cancer" is making me panicky.

My sister-in-law battled breast cancer a few years ago and won, and cancer in general is big in my extended family - in the immediate it isn't though. Especially not my Dad - he doesn't even get colds, so I've got no frame of reference for him being ill. The closest thing I can come with is when he had hernia surgery back when I was a teenager or how his knee acts up from an old high-school football injury every so often.

DF is the best at calming me down, but he's god only knows where.

And thanks. I appreciate it.
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#10 of 51 Old 06-25-2010, 06:44 PM
 
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I am so sorry to hear that! (((hugs)))

My mom has lung cancer... she is 51. She also had a few strokes when my DS was 2 weeks old, its HARD when your parents are sick.

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#11 of 51 Old 06-25-2010, 07:48 PM
 
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Oh, such a bad shock. I'm really sorry to hear it.

At-home mom to a teenager, an infant, and three in between!
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#12 of 51 Old 06-25-2010, 07:53 PM
 
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Hang in there! Sorry.
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#13 of 51 Old 06-25-2010, 07:59 PM
 
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Im so sorry leigh, I would want to be there too. Hopefully you can talk to your DP soon and work out what is best for you and your dad.

Karen, Police officer married to my hero Soldier, mummy to Harry 7 and Riley 3 and , due 10th January 2011 We're living the dream!!
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#14 of 51 Old 06-25-2010, 08:26 PM
 
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I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. Prostate cancer is one of the most treatable cancers with the BEST success/survival rate with treatment. We're here if you need us. Sending BIG hugs!

Sam 39 DH Dan 39 DS Enzo 2.2.07 Baby Uma EDD 1.25.11
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#15 of 51 Old 06-25-2010, 09:12 PM
 
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Oh Leigh, My dad was diagnosed with cancer when I was in AIr Force Basic training. Unfortunately i had no option to see him. I was in Texas he was in Michigan. He had cancer in his eye, it was removed and he is now 7 years in remission. At the same time my cousin was fighting testicular cancer and my grandfather bone cancer. I hope your father has the same outcome as my father and cousin!

Big momma
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#16 of 51 Old 06-25-2010, 09:17 PM
 
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Keep us posted, OK?

Angela -- mama to Jack (11/03), Adeline (6/06), Ella (11/08), and William (1/11). Accredited Leader: Attachment Parenting International of Orange County.h20homebirth.giffly-by-nursing2.gif homeschool.gif
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#17 of 51 Old 06-25-2010, 09:57 PM - Thread Starter
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Okay, I've been obsessively reading studies on the different therapies for prostate cancer. I talked to my Mom, both my brothers, and my Dad again. He told me that he's seeing the specialist on Tuesday, so after that appointment we'll know more about where this is going.

DF finally got back to me, too. He's got to finish the project he's on right now, but he's already taking care of me: two of his good friends - they all work together - are coming by with takeout, ostensibly to feed me, but really to watch me and make sure I stay calm.

I don't want to talk to them, though. My best friend, Matt, was here a little bit ago to pick something up and I told him what's going on. He offered to cancel his plans and stay with me but I'm just not up to company right now. I figure I'll eat dinner with Julia and Molly (DF's friends) but try and shoo them out after a bit.

I was even calmer than I am now but when I talked to my Dad I found out that his Gleason scale sum is a 7. That's bad because the highest you can get is a 10. The higher the number, the worse the prognosis. But I'm trying to mellow out again and just hope for the best come Tuesday. We'll see.

Thank you so much to everyone. I appreciate all of you more than I can say.

Also, this is so bad of me, but I can't help but wonder: am I ever going to be allowed to go a week without catching something or someone in my life getting bad news? Just a little boring, that's all I'm looking for - just a little. A month of relative quiet. A week, even.
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#18 of 51 Old 06-25-2010, 10:08 PM
 
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My dad had lymphoma and then several years later was diagnosed with prostate cancer. He is a very healthy guy, lots of exercise and eats a good varied diet and non-smoker. He decided to have his prostate removed and everything has gone well. That was probably 5 years ago. It's defintely a stressful situation for the whole family. Best wishes to you and your family!
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#19 of 51 Old 06-25-2010, 10:42 PM
 
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oh HUGS. I live in Houston. PM me and let me know if there's anything I can do. I lost my grandfather to prostate cancer BUT it was his choice to NOT seek treatment. The prognosis was actually really good for him but he'd already lost his wife and didn't want to go on anymore.

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#20 of 51 Old 06-26-2010, 02:29 AM
 
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Big, huge hugs mama. I'm so sorry.

Susan~Mama to Atticus (2003), Creeley (2005), Townsyn (2007) and a fourth boy on the way in 2011!
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#21 of 51 Old 06-26-2010, 05:20 PM
 
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i'm so sorry to hear about your terrible news . i hope to hear a positive outlook for him soon! hugs!

hoping for a !
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#22 of 51 Old 06-26-2010, 06:10 PM
 
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Hugs to you

My dad has prostate cancer, too, apparently it runs in our family because all his brothers got it too. Good news is there are lots of treatment options, and a good chance he's got lots of good years left. My thoughts and best wishes are with you in this difficult time.
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#23 of 51 Old 06-26-2010, 07:41 PM
 
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Hugs I'm so sorry, that must be very difficult for you.

Wendy (26), married to my sweetheart since 2007. Mommy to Caroline, born Boxing Day 2010 by beautiful home water birth h20homebirth.gif  intactlact.gif
 
 
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#24 of 51 Old 06-26-2010, 08:24 PM
 
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Gah, why do such horrible things have to happen during what should be a time of great joy? I'm so sorry. I hope your dad ends up in remission really soon

Me bfinfant.gifDP caffix.gif one silly 5 year old  boy blahblah.gif and a brand new babyboy.gifcd.gif  signcirc1.gifgoorganic.jpg
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#25 of 51 Old 06-28-2010, 01:19 AM
 
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Oh Leigh, I am so sorry about you Dad. I really hope the specialist has some good news for you guys. You and your family are in my thoughts right now.

Heather: Mama to my amazing boys A-14.5, C-13, & M-5.5, and my sweet girl S-2.5 and introducing our little surprise Liam Michael, born 12/28!
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#26 of 51 Old 06-28-2010, 01:45 AM
 
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Paintedfire, I'm so sorry. : When my dad called me to tell me he had been diagnosed with Prostate Cancer I collapsed on the floor into a puddle. I still can remember the metallic taste in my mouth, it was probably the worst news anyone has ever told me. I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone.

The GOOD news is that phone call was nearly 4 years ago. And his cancer has not grown since. There has been a lot of work in prostrate cancer. My dad started out getting quarterly ultrasounds and after a lot of watchful waiting hen his cancer did not grow the moved to ultrasounds every six month. Diet. Encourage your dad to switch to a Vegan Diet, this wasn't too hard for my dad as he didn't each much meat anyway. But cancer can't grown in an alkaline environment (or something like that) avoiding animal fats increases the alkaline environment in your body.

My dad is younger than yours and also very healthy. He helped us move the weekend after his biopsy and didn't even tell us he was being tested. The long and the short of it is, even at 64 years old, and a healthy 64 at that, his doctors have old him that his will probably die from other old age related natural causes before the cancer kills him. He's going to be around another 20 - 30 years....living with cancer.
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#27 of 51 Old 06-28-2010, 03:03 AM
 
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I'm so sorry - that's so stressful for you and your family. Wishing him a speedy and complete recovery.

loving mommy to DD (3/08), brokenheart.gif our little strawberry (7/10). brokenheart.gif little seedling (10/10). brokenheart.gif little pear (4/11). Praying for a Rainbow - due Nov!

 

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#28 of 51 Old 06-28-2010, 04:29 AM
 
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#29 of 51 Old 06-28-2010, 09:35 AM
 
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sorry to hear bout this. will be praying for recovery.

Monica-28, DH, Andrew-29 DS-almost 3, DD born 1/13/2011.
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#30 of 51 Old 06-28-2010, 11:47 AM
 
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I'm sorry I hope that things are going to be okay

Amanda + Steven SAHM to James (Feb 19, 2008) and Alexander (Jan 7, 2011). Lost little ones always in my heart (07/11/2009) (04/2010)
 
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