The Mommy Guilt is Starting Already (Daycare) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 09-08-2010, 06:08 PM - Thread Starter
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So, after months of procrastinating, I finally set up appointments to tour daycares.

I wouldn't want to quit my job--even if it was an option, which it's not. I love what I do, and, besides, I've seen so many kids that do so well in daycare. From observing cousins and nieces it seems like they have a lot of fun, make friends, and even are more verbal than kids I see that have stayed home with a parent. (Generalization based on a very small sample of my own observations--completely not a judgement in any way, shape, or form!)

Plus, I'm getting 3 months at home with the baby after it's born. Then, the hubby and I are each going to work from home one day a week after that so that the kiddo only has to be in daycare 3 days. It's a really amazing set up, actually.... why do I want to cry?

Really, I can't figure this out. I have no rational reason for it, other than lack of sleep, but even that doesn't *really* make sense.
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#2 of 8 Old 09-08-2010, 08:57 PM
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For odd we put of looking at daycares for awhile and because of it I didn't have to deal with the dread beforehand but once she was in daycare I was calling every day and it was hard. Don't get me wrong I loved the place she was at and everyone was great and never treated me like that mom but poor baby had to deal with mommy covering her in kisses each time I picked her up and dropped her off.

It really helps to find a daycare that totally understands how emotional it can be for you to drop off your little one at daycare and they don't treat you like a crazy woman.

I also vividly remember going back to work and thinking how cool it was to go to the bathroom by myself

Mandy, Mama to three wildfire girls and another little one on the way. Due 1/30/13

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#3 of 8 Old 09-08-2010, 09:09 PM
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I had a hard time putting my son day care all day when he was 3 months old. However, after looking around I found a great fit for us. I felt so comfortable dropping him off with the person we found and we are still friends 5 years later.

Best wishes that you find a good fit. Plus you are so lucky you can work it out so that it is only 3 days a week! I bet you will find it is an easy transition.

Sarah - wife, mom to Riley 7/9/03 and Jacob 7/15/05 and Hannah 1/5/11 a successful vbac.gif
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#4 of 8 Old 09-09-2010, 01:47 AM
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i would have been heartbroken if i had to leave my kid that early. where i am, you get a ful year at home (3 months before birth, 9 months after.. or you can wait til the last minute and get a full year after). even then i'd have been pretty emotional about it. i did end up staying home because working wasn't an option, but if i had a job i loved, i'd STILL be emotional about it.

January 2011
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#5 of 8 Old 09-09-2010, 05:53 PM
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Originally Posted by venusthrow View Post
I also vividly remember going back to work and thinking how cool it was to go to the bathroom by myself
This. I remember being back the first week and thinking-- this is great! It wore off quickly.

I wish there was cure for Mommy guilt. I think we all have it.

Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

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#6 of 8 Old 09-09-2010, 09:03 PM
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Oh yes, no matter WHAT you do, you will feel guilty. I am a SAHM, but when my husband went to Iraq my 5 yr old drove me INSANE. He needed a distraction. He was 4 at the time so I put him in preschool.... at first for 12 hours a week, but then for 24 hours. I felt like a failure, he was an angel for her and with me he was a beast. But I loved where he was at. HE loved where he was. And in the end I have NO regrets, she taught him so much.

My niece was in a Montessori school from the time she was a newborn, she did awesome. She made lifelong friends there even though she left at age 4 and is 16 now. She was reading by 3, potty trained by 2, etc. And yet my sister still felt guilty.

You will find the perfect care for your little one. But as far as the mommy guilt? There is no cure. Sorry. You will find in time you will have no regrets though.

Heather: Mama to my amazing boys A-14.5, C-13, & M-5.5, and my sweet girl S-2.5 and introducing our little surprise Liam Michael, born 12/28!
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#7 of 8 Old 09-09-2010, 09:26 PM
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My older daughter started daycare when she was about 8 weeks and it was horrible. I hated it. Then, when she was two, I was finally able to stop working and I felt just terrible for taking her out of her "school" because she loved it so much. Now she's 3 1/2 and I feel terrible that I haven't gotten her into a pre-school enrichment program of some sort. I also have guilt over not doing enough with her every day.
It's true, no matter what you do there will be a downside and a bit of guilt. Hang in there, enjoy your grown up time as much as possible and you'll be just fine!

Sarah: Soon to be Mama to three! Tess(3) Lucy (19mo) and a new little light ready to brighten the world Jan 2011
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#8 of 8 Old 09-10-2010, 09:52 AM
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Everyone's situation is different & their needs/wants are different. It's hard not to feel guilty-whatever u do. Our DS was in daycare for half a day before hubby went and picked him up b/c we had a bad experience dropping him off. We thought we did our research, but nothing is perfect. I would just try to go in and surprise daycares & go several times if u think it's the one. That will probably make you feel more comfortable w/ your situation.
I think it's great you both will have a day w/ baby on your own, great bonding for each parent. Good luck & hang in there!

Monica-28, DH, Andrew-29 DS-almost 3, DD born 1/13/2011.
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