preparing the siblings - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 09-28-2010, 02:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What are you doing to help prepare your older DC's for this new one's arrival. I'm not talking about the birth but about adjusting to life with a new baby in the house. What about in the long term when the rosy feelings fade and big sib wants the baby GONE? For those of us who've traveled the road before what have you found that works/doesn't work?

I just finished reading "Siblings Without Rivalry" and would love some feedback!

wife to DH, Mama to DS "Bug" (09/07), and DD "Sprout" (01/11). 
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#2 of 11 Old 09-28-2010, 02:24 PM
 
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Thank you for this thread! I never even thought of this really since my kids are older (7 and 5). When we had my second and my first was a toddler we got her a newborn sized doll and she would help me care for it. I explained how this is how we would care for Jake when he was born. I would pretend to nurse the doll, etc.

I never even thought about now that my kids are older preparing them at all. I have said to my 5 year old that he won't be the youngest anymore and that a baby takes a lot of mommy's time. My DH is worried that DS is going to have a hard time. MY DD is super excited and can't wait to help but I am sure that will fade after time.

Sarah - wife, mom to Riley 7/9/03 and Jacob 7/15/05 and Hannah 1/5/11 a successful vbac.gif
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#3 of 11 Old 09-28-2010, 05:44 PM
 
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Hmmm, I have never really done anything to formally prepare, my boys were always pretty mellow and helpful and never had any rivalry with a new baby. My DD has a different personality though and is pretty clingy, so I should probably pay close attention to this thread.

Heather: Mama to my amazing boys A-14.5, C-13, & M-5.5, and my sweet girl S-2.5 and introducing our little surprise Liam Michael, born 12/28!
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#4 of 11 Old 09-28-2010, 06:24 PM
 
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I haven't really prepared the girls. I have talked to odd about being pregnant and she loves love loves reading pregnancy books and talking about the baby in her belly and how it will come out. Ydd is 1.5 so I haven't really done much other then talk about the baby in my belly. I am planning on getting the girls gifts from the baby. Especially gifts that will distract the girls. When ydd was born odd's gift from ydd was a shopping cart and magnadoodle. It kept odd distracted when I would nurse ydd.

Oh and it could be because odd was in daycare at the time but she has never wanted her sister gone. They are best friends and yeah they do torture each other but nothing major. This time will be different. Dh is a SAHD so I will be recovering and hanging out with all three girls. I planning on making sure that I will have alone time with each of the girls. I have found it is easier to give really one on one time with the baby after the girls have gone to bed. But not sure how this will work with everyone at home.

Mandy, Mama to three wildfire girls and another little one on the way. Due 1/30/13

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#5 of 11 Old 09-28-2010, 06:33 PM
 
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I haven't really done anything to prepare my older two- they've done the big sister thing before! My 2yo...well, all prep has been centered around convincing him that the baby will eventually come out of my belly and be like the babies at the store, park, church, what have you. He still looks at me like I'm nuts whenever I say this. Guess I have ~16 more weeks to convince him...
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Jenny (27) partner to Michael (28) mama to Zoe (8) Selene (4) Garvin (2) and baby Gwendolyn (born 14 Jan 2011)
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#6 of 11 Old 09-30-2010, 04:27 PM
 
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I mostly lurk, but I keep meaning to be more involved on here! My DD is the same age as yours (OCT 07). We got the book by Dr Sears "what Baby Needs".

http://www.amazon.com/What-Needs-Sea...ref=pd_sim_b_2

It is pretty fabtastic b/c it covers breastfeeding and the new baby sleeps in a co-sleeper next to Mom. It talks about the big kid's feelings regarding the baby spending so much time with mom, etc. CHeck it out. My DD really enjoys reading it and it has helped her verbalize some of her fears.
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#7 of 11 Old 09-30-2010, 05:28 PM
 
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With my last, I didn't really prepare the kids much because I thought they were old enough. Well when I was nursing the baby my 5 yo freaked out because she thought she was sucking my blood LOL! I had never thought to prepare her for breastfeeding. This time around I will talk about it with my 2.5 yo. We also plan to get a lifelike baby doll and bring it to the hospital and give it to her when she visits. That way at home she can be doing what I do with her baby sister.

~~Angie~~
mom to Alona 12, Olivia 8, Ivy 3 , angel3.gif1/19/09 & Natalia Quinn 1.10.11
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#8 of 11 Old 10-01-2010, 11:40 AM
 
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I have talked to DD (3) about how when the baby comes, she and the new baby will share mommy's nursies. We've discussed where she will sleep, and where the new baby will sleep, in our family bed. We've talked about diapers when I went through the cloth diaper stash, and I told her how the new baby will need to wear diapers, because the new baby won't be able to use the potty like her. I've told her that the new baby won't be able to walk or talk when she is born, and that mommy will spend a lot of time holding the new baby. I've talked about how when the new baby is born, mommy might sound like a lion, or mommy might have blood or water coming out of her vagina, and everything is ok, and it means the baby will be coming soon. We've looked at the fishy pool, and I've told her that mommy might get in the fishy pool when the new baby comes. She says she wants to watch the new baby come, but only on the TV, like the video of her own birth. Ha!

Hopefully I will go into labor at night, and she will just wake up to her new sibling.
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#9 of 11 Old 10-01-2010, 03:30 PM
 
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DD (~24 months) and I enjoyed watching some youtube videos of newborns the other day. I tell her that the baby will cry sometimes, and that he will eat milky like she used to. Whenever we see a baby at a store or a restaurant or at church, I tell her. "We're going to have a baby soon, just like that family does."

A couple of times, we've gotten out the sleeper I bought for new ds, and hold it as if it's the baby. (Kinda weird, I know... I do think we should get a doll for dd so she can visualize better. I tried to put a diaper on her stuffed bear once, and she just looked at me like I was crazy...)

I think she will probably be fine... she loves babies, always points them out whenever she sees them, and she is generally a pretty easygoing kid. The main thing I expect to be difficult is her naptime... she still needs to be rocked to sleep, and most times insists on us standing up and walking around while she's falling asleep. We'll see if she still needs that in January.

Laura geek.gif, mom to fencing.gif Savannah (born 10/2008) and Indy (born 01/2011), and babyf.gifCheyenne (born 11/2012)

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#10 of 11 Old 10-01-2010, 04:51 PM
 
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While watching a birth video today with my 4yo, my 2yo joined us. As the baby was actually born, he repeatedly told me "Blech! Blech!" and then asked for more. Haha!
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Jenny (27) partner to Michael (28) mama to Zoe (8) Selene (4) Garvin (2) and baby Gwendolyn (born 14 Jan 2011)
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#11 of 11 Old 10-02-2010, 12:25 AM
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i mentioned that at first, katie will sleep most of the time but wake up every few hours for milk. i'll be tired and sore, and katie won't be able to play with DD1 until she's a bit older. i assured her that daddy will be helping her with getting to school if i can't, just like he does now, and that even if at first it's hard, eventually she will likely be katie's favourite person because she's so funny (but at first, i'll be her favourite just because i'm the one making milk).

i pulled out some of her old stuff, and DD1 put a cloth diaper on her cabbage patch doll. she wants to help with everything. i think i'll be getting her a sling if i can find one so she can wear her babies too. she's going to be 6 so she is going to be a Very Important Person in katie's life. she's quite excited..

January 2011
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