Lost my homebirth. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 23 Old 11-10-2010, 12:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I mentioned in the November thread that my BP has been creeping up to the low end of high, especially at the midwife's office.  Last night I could barely get it down at home, and it went right back up when I was at my midwife's for blood work.  The blood work was fine, but the MW and her OB she consults with decided I am too high risk since I had two blood pressures a couple points over 140/90.  I don't even know how to start wrapping my mind around this.  I feel so bad for my husband, he's trying so hard to make me feel better and it just isn't working right now.  I am hoping I can quickly shake off this blow and hit the ground running figuring out what I can do different this time that I wasn't able to the last two times I had negative hospital birth experiences.

 


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#2 of 23 Old 11-10-2010, 01:12 PM
 
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  So sorry. 

 

I don't know the guidelines for hbp or preeclampsia in pregnancy, but if it is just a borderline thing that doesn't get worse, UC is always there to consider.

 

Good luck to you.

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#3 of 23 Old 11-10-2010, 02:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I thought about it, I really did, but my husband is SO not on board with a UC and has made it clear he would call 911 if I tried to UC.  He was barely on board with the HB thing.  I think it would add a strain if I tried to go against his wishes.


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#4 of 23 Old 11-10-2010, 03:37 PM
 
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I'm sorry.  greensad.gif

 

Does your midwife have any suggestions for a doula to help advocate for you at the hospital?


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#5 of 23 Old 11-10-2010, 03:43 PM
 
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 That stinks. Maybe a different hopsital or a different medical profession would make a difference... A doula is worth considering - if you think that would help what went wrong in the past.

 

My hubby isn't super on board with a homebirth either but oddly said we ought to UC because he feels like the midwife hasn't done much. Men are weird.


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#6 of 23 Old 11-10-2010, 04:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just emailed my doula to let her know the change of plans since this means a 25 mile drive vs. 1 mile for her.  My problem is my labor "pattern" is irregular and my contractions NEVER are x minutes apart lasting x seconds long.  They can space from 1 minute, 7 minutes, 2 minutes, then 20 minutes and that bores both the OB and MW I saw in the past and so they pushed the pitocin to "even things out", yeah, max dose didn't change my contraction pattern, but it sure did make me scream for an epidural.  My last hospital birth we also had a doula and it didn't stop the nurse from "checking" my pitocin dose every 15 minutes and it somehow getting bumped up higher despite their reassurance that they weren't.  I guess I have a lot of fear cleansing work to do with my hypnobabies because I totally mistrust hospitals now.

 

I am also frustrated how "worrisome" my high blood pressure is, yet I won't even meet with an OB until probably 3 weeks from now at 36 weeks, just a nurse at 34 weeks, and "maybe you can meet the OB if someone has time to poke their head in".  So the same OB that called me too high risk to homebirth doesn't think I need to be seen to get on medication any time soon??  Yeah, this stinks something rotten and sure is not helping my blood pressure.

 

ETA:  Despite crying all day and being super stressed, my BP is 120/86.  And I just got a note saying my expensive monitor I bought to appease my midwife because it is automatic vs. the manual one I use just shipped and can't be canceled.  So now my total is something like $150 in supplies that are now useless, including a little "I was born at home" t-shirt.


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#7 of 23 Old 11-10-2010, 06:27 PM
 
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Have you been to this website? 

 

http://www.blueribbonbaby.org/

 

You need LOTS of protein, LOTS of water and salt your food to taste (yes, salt, it's counterintuitive for HBP in a NON-pregnant person, but us preggos need some salt).

 

Are you spilling protein too? 


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#8 of 23 Old 11-10-2010, 06:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Have you been to this website? 

 

http://www.blueribbonbaby.org/

 

You need LOTS of protein, LOTS of water and salt your food to taste (yes, salt, it's counterintuitive for HBP in a NON-pregnant person, but us preggos need some salt).

 

Are you spilling protein too? 


I have been upping my protein and water and because it was 2 points over for the second time, that was my last chance.  I am SO mad at myself for telling her it was high because now there is no looking back.  Even when I told her today it was 120/86 she could care less, I am already gone in her mind.  No protein in my urine except for a trace at my last appointment.


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#9 of 23 Old 11-10-2010, 06:51 PM
 
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Where will you be delivering then? Have you thought about heading to Tacoma? I had a really good experience at St. Joe's even though I was very very upset going in that I wasn't getting my term home birth baby. You can basically walk in and say "Leave me the F alone" and then they do. They will just come in with the doppler every once in a while and have a listen and let you do your thing. I didn't even have to stay hooked to an IV, which is something when you're having a preemie.

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#10 of 23 Old 11-10-2010, 07:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Where will you be delivering then? Have you thought about heading to Tacoma? I had a really good experience at St. Joe's even though I was very very upset going in that I wasn't getting my term home birth baby. You can basically walk in and say "Leave me the F alone" and then they do. They will just come in with the doppler every once in a while and have a listen and let you do your thing. I didn't even have to stay hooked to an IV, which is something when you're having a preemie.


That is where I will be going Bri, my MWs backup OB is Phoebe Ho w/ The Babycatchers & Beyond and that is where she delivers from what my MW says.  That does make me feel better, just because that is what bothered me most of all over in Spokane & in Colorado Springs, I didn't see my caregivers much, but the nurses were up my butt about pushing the epidurals, checking my cervix every hour, continuous monitoring, and then offering the epidural again.


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#11 of 23 Old 11-10-2010, 07:42 PM
 
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i had heard very good things about St Joe's and it was one of the places i wsa looking into when i was still living in LAkewood.

 

this must be hard, hugs momma

please do your best to leave those other experiances behind and open yourself to finding a whole new one in this new place.


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#12 of 23 Old 11-10-2010, 09:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i had heard very good things about St Joe's and it was one of the places i was looking into when i was still living in Lakewood.

 

this must be hard, hugs momma

please do your best to leave those other experiences behind and open yourself to finding a whole new one in this new place.

 

Thank you, I totally need to do a fear release and some work with my Doula about letting go.  I told my husband my magic phrase this time will be "I do not consent to that".  He googled the stages of grief when we were in the car and he kept saying "yup, we have gone through that, oh yes, you did *that* step this afternoon".  He thinks I am on anger and bargaining, but the more good I hear, the better I feel.  I will get beyond this.  I will accept this.  And maybe in the end it will actually work out to be a healing birth. 
 


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#13 of 23 Old 11-10-2010, 09:15 PM
 
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That is where I will be going Bri, my MWs backup OB is Phoebe Ho w/ The Babycatchers & Beyond and that is where she delivers from what my MW says.  That does make me feel better, just because that is what bothered me most of all over in Spokane & in Colorado Springs, I didn't see my caregivers much, but the nurses were up my butt about pushing the epidurals, checking my cervix every hour, continuous monitoring, and then offering the epidural again.



 Good. They were great. They ask you right away if you want a natural birth or not. If you do, they don't offer the drugs unless you start begging for them. I know... I begged. Haha. I didn't actually let them give me anything though. My midwife fielded them away and said I didn't mean it. The OB who delivered was there for all of 15 or 20 minutes. The nurse really only came in when she had to... so about once an hour. When I first got in they said they needed to do an IV for GBS (obviously at 33 weeks I hadn't been tested) but she hep locked it as soon as the abx were in because I requested not to be hooked to the IV and she didn't give me any trouble. They only put me on the EFM for about 5 minutes so they could get that print out strip (and I was in bed with the IV at that time anyway) and then she took it off so I could move around. They have tubs and a birth ball, and even a little poster on the wall with ideas for different labor and birthing positions. I am not a fan of hospital birth, but if I had to do it again, I would definitely go back there. I might not even cry about it.... Ok, I'd probably cry. But only because this is my last shot.


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#14 of 23 Old 11-10-2010, 10:16 PM
 
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I think your biggest asset right now will be your support people. I got risked out the day before my son was due because my BP was too high and I failed the NST. Talk about no time to prepare. We went from having an out of hospital birth center to Swedish hospital DT Seattle which is known as a baby factory. Thankfully my husband knew, respected and agreed with my wishes on a natural birth and my doula was also there. She unfortunately had to leave halfway through the labor because she had a family vacation planned but thankfully the midwife was able to come in as my "doula" and be there for the birth. 

 

Is you midwife available to do that? We had to pay ours of course but it was a nice option. 


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#15 of 23 Old 11-11-2010, 12:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I know she does for emergency transfers, but she didn't offer and I didn't ask because she made it clear that "at least [doula] will be there", my doula and I talked and she likes the OB and hospital I am using and is familiar with their policies, so I think she will make a fine advocate.  I may still be in the bitter stage, but after what I paid for birth supplies I won't use, and a blood pressure monitor I don't need, and a cute little "born at home" t-shirt that is kind of a slap in the face now, I really cannot afford to spend more money on this birth.  Especially since my insurance would not pay for her to be there.

 

I am feeling a bit more zen today.  I am trying to remind myself there is a purpose for everything and maybe the purpose of this birth is to show me I can have a good hospital experience, and if not for my home birth, I don't think I would have had faith in my body.  Perhaps my daughter's home birth, which I always called my "healing birth" was actually just my confidence birth, and this will be the one that heals me from the two hospital birth experiences when I am able to have a natural birth outside of my home.

 

It is what it is, and if I had not been risked out now, I have a feeling it would have happened eventually, when it was harder to deal with and prepare for.  I am also grateful my husband happened to be home when I got the news, even if he didn't know to comfort me, I really appreciate his efforts yesterday when all I did was push him away, but he didn't let me.  I love that man.


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#16 of 23 Old 11-11-2010, 01:19 PM
 
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What happens if you get your BP down and show her? Will she take you on again then if you've shown that it's stable? Are there other homebirth midwives that you can consult with and see if they would take you on?

 

I second what someone said about protein, water, etc. When my blood pressure got high during DS's pregnancy my midwife told me to get 80+ grams of protein a day, more exercise, lots of water, destress as much as I can, take hopps or scullcap tincture (I took scullcap), garlic, etc. and I was able to get it down. However, watch out for protein bars!!! Yes, they have TONS of protein, but lots of time they have just as much sugar which can be very counterproductive (and I think this was a big reason why my blood pressure didn't go down to normal, but fortunately it did go down enough to be okay).


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What happens if you get your BP down and show her? Will she take you on again then if you've shown that it's stable? Are there other homebirth midwives that you can consult with and see if they would take you on?

 

I second what someone said about protein, water, etc. When my blood pressure got high during DS's pregnancy my midwife told me to get 80+ grams of protein a day, more exercise, lots of water, destress as much as I can, take hopps or scullcap tincture (I took scullcap), garlic, etc. and I was able to get it down. However, watch out for protein bars!!! Yes, they have TONS of protein, but lots of time they have just as much sugar which can be very counterproductive (and I think this was a big reason why my blood pressure didn't go down to normal, but fortunately it did go down enough to be okay).


It was down the next day, and she was pretty dismissive because I took it myself, when I offered to let her check it she said "with two high readings I am satisfied your blood pressure will keep giving us trouble, because I think you have chronic hypertension".  She also made a jab about me hiding my medical history and she said she wished I had been honest with her when I remembered about being on BP meds back in '06... even though when I got a 2nd opinion they took me off of it and said he thinks they were using the wrong size cuff.  Any time I took it myself she refused to look at my numbers, even though I was a CNA and have probably 4,000 accurate BPs of experience in DD adults where the room was loud and the person I was taking BP from was often combative or confused.  Also, in my area there are a total of 3 midwives, 2 in one practice who were full by my 6th week of pregnancy, and my midwife.  We have others who are more than 50 miles away, but most will not attend in my town, but would rather want me to HB in their home which is counterproductive IMO.

 

I will continue to try to get my protein up, and get it down normal, just so I can avoid pharmaceutical intervention.  I was on BP meds once back in '06 when I wasn't pregnant and I did not enjoy the 24 hours of bed rest because I could not open my eyes without the room spinning.  This may sound paranoid, but I almost think my MW was looking for a reason to dismiss me.  Ever since I mentioned that my daughter had neonatal lupus (just a rash on her face from my antibodies from 2m-7m) and that I was seeing a rheumatologist for some abnormal blood work but he didn't have lupus she sort of got paranoid.  She's tested my platelets like 3 times and they were always fine.  She tested me for GD twice.  She's made several remarks that maybe I should be seeing a perinatologist for this or that even after she consulted one and he said it absolutely was unnecessary.  The fact that she was so quick to dismiss and the OB she consulted was in no rush to fit me in makes me wonder if the situation is not a bit blown out of proportion.  /end conspiracy theory wink1.gif

 

I just wish I could meet with the OB sooner than 36 weeks so I can see if we are a good fit.


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#18 of 23 Old 11-11-2010, 08:10 PM
 
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It could just be my experience too with being risked out but I wonder how HB friendly Washington is. It sounds like everything has to be perfect and normal for people to have a MW assisted HB or an out of hospital birth in this state. Again could be my own experience with also being risked out shaping my generalization.

 

I think you have all the tools to have a very successful and happy hospital birth. It sounds like the hospital you are going to is very natural birth friendly. With this being my last pregnancy I have come to terms with the fact that I will never deliver out of a hospital so I have focused on making my last hospital birth as "homey" as possible. Kind of an oxymoron but my DH is very supportive and it sounds like you also have a very supportive partner and doula.

 

HUGS! 


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It could just be my experience too with being risked out but I wonder how HB friendly Washington is. It sounds like everything has to be perfect and normal for people to have a MW assisted HB or an out of hospital birth in this state. Again could be my own experience with also being risked out shaping my generalization.

 

I think you have all the tools to have a very successful and happy hospital birth. It sounds like the hospital you are going to is very natural birth friendly. With this being my last pregnancy I have come to terms with the fact that I will never deliver out of a hospital so I have focused on making my last hospital birth as "homey" as possible. Kind of an oxymoron but my DH is very supportive and it sounds like you also have a very supportive partner and doula.

 

HUGS! 

IDK... It's kinda 50/50... The rules they have are very strict. But I have had 2 preemies and had to have a cerclage placed this pregnancy and I'm still eligible for a home birth because it doesn't actually affect labor and delivery, kwim? I didn't have any birth complications and both babies are healthy, so as long as I remain healthy and I get to 37 weeks, I am good to go.

 


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#20 of 23 Old 11-11-2010, 09:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It could just be my experience too with being risked out but I wonder how HB friendly Washington is. It sounds like everything has to be perfect and normal for people to have a MW assisted HB or an out of hospital birth in this state. Again could be my own experience with also being risked out shaping my generalization.

 

I think you have all the tools to have a very successful and happy hospital birth. It sounds like the hospital you are going to is very natural birth friendly. With this being my last pregnancy I have come to terms with the fact that I will never deliver out of a hospital so I have focused on making my last hospital birth as "homey" as possible. Kind of an oxymoron but my DH is very supportive and it sounds like you also have a very supportive partner and doula.

 

HUGS! 

I was just thinking the same.  My MW's transfer rate for new time moms is 30% she said.  That seems awfully high.  I think my MW in Colorado's was closer to 10-15%.  I also had the same BP peeking over the magical 140/90 in Colorado and no one batted an eye.  I was also 50 lbs heavier and failed my 3 hour GTT.  However, you were pretty much guaranteed to pay out of pocket in Colorado.  In my area the average rate for a HB was $2,000 because almost no one would get reimbursement/coverage from insurance.  HB was legal, but pretty taboo still.  I was treated like garbage by almost any doctor and was refused an appointment by my old OB/GYN when I had an infection after birth because I had a home birth.  "Backup OBs" are almost unheard of.  But I have known OBs to attempt delivery of breech babies or unconfirmed but suspected twins.  I think there is a real trade off when you involve insurance and state law.  I don't think WA is as much HB unfriendly, as maybe it is more pro-CYA. 

 

ETA:  I think HBACs are much easier in Colorado, where I think it is almost unheard of in this state.
 


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#21 of 23 Old 11-12-2010, 09:03 AM
 
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So sorry you won't be getting the birth you want.  It sounds like you're going in very well prepared to make this a non-sucky hopital birth, and I'm glad you're feeling better about it now than you were before. 


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#22 of 23 Old 11-12-2010, 10:28 AM
 
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I was just thinking the same.  My MW's transfer rate for new time moms is 30% she said.  That seems awfully high.  I think my MW in Colorado's was closer to 10-15%.  I also had the same BP peeking over the magical 140/90 in Colorado and no one batted an eye.  I was also 50 lbs heavier and failed my 3 hour GTT.  However, you were pretty much guaranteed to pay out of pocket in Colorado.  In my area the average rate for a HB was $2,000 because almost no one would get reimbursement/coverage from insurance.  HB was legal, but pretty taboo still.  I was treated like garbage by almost any doctor and was refused an appointment by my old OB/GYN when I had an infection after birth because I had a home birth.  "Backup OBs" are almost unheard of.  But I have known OBs to attempt delivery of breech babies or unconfirmed but suspected twins.  I think there is a real trade off when you involve insurance and state law.  I don't think WA is as much HB unfriendly, as maybe it is more pro-CYA. 

 

ETA:  I think HBACs are much easier in Colorado, where I think it is almost unheard of in this state.
 

30% seems incredibly high! I agree with the pro-CYA. wink1.gif
 


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#23 of 23 Old 11-12-2010, 01:01 PM
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i'm sorry, that must be very disappointing. i hope you can have as natural a birth as possible in spite of your blood pressure. big hugs!


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