Why don't we talk about YOUR body instead? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 11-18-2010, 10:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I just have to take a minute to vent here.  I thought people were inappropriate at the university where I worked during my last pregnancy, but this is getting ridiculous.  I am AD military, and people here seem to just think they can make whatever comments or ask whatever questions they want about my body.  I work with mostly civilians, too, so this isn't a situation where they "own" my body and it would be acceptable to ask questions.  All medical issues or waivers are already cleared by the military med group here on base before any civilian sees any change in my attire or appearance.

 

Today alone, I have been asked if I have or had morning sickness, if I am taking my prenatal vitamins, if I am drinking milk ("because it's supposed to be good for the baby's development" eyesroll.gif), and if my feet or ankles are swelling.  It is not appropriate to ask medical or personal questions about another person's body at work, whether they are pregnant or not!  Somehow I am fair game.

 

None of your censored.gif business, boss's boss's boss's boss!!!

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#2 of 13 Old 11-18-2010, 01:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just got told, "Wow, you are looking really ripe!"

 

Nice.

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#3 of 13 Old 11-18-2010, 02:09 PM
 
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I will never understand why pregnancy makes people feel like they can say anything to you. 


Sarah - wife, mom to Riley 7/9/03 and Jacob 7/15/05 and Hannah 1/5/11 a successful vbac.gif
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#4 of 13 Old 11-18-2010, 02:27 PM
 
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I noticed it too - how couldn't I?  But I am actually fascinated by the phenomenon: I think it shows we are all social creatures and the 'social group' gets excited by the impending addition to it.  So I am just basking in the attention!

 

I'm not saying there aren't limits: I was told by the owner of my (former - I now no longer go there out of self-respect) favourite takeout place that she could tell I was going to have a boy, because women pregnant with girls look pretty and blossoming, while I, well, looked terrible. Fortunately, I'd been told the opposite many times - plus pregnancy has made me much more comfortable with my own judgement about me, so I care far less what others say / think.

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#5 of 13 Old 11-19-2010, 10:34 AM
 
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well i would rather have someone say something stupid than have the Roter Rooter guy reach out and rub my belly faster than i would stop him! YUCK!

 

yeah that really happened 2 days ago


partners.gif 2twins.gif  So what if I don't fit cleanly into a defined parenting style, my kids don't fit into a personality archetype either!

 
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#6 of 13 Old 11-19-2010, 12:47 PM
 
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These comments bother me SO much more than I thought they would.  I mean, I thought they would bother me a lot...but they bother me A LOT.  I can't stand the feeling that my body is on display for everyone to look at and comment on.  I guess I'm way more private than I ever realized.


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4 years and 5 IVF cycles in the making, Elliott was born at home in water on 2/2/11.
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#7 of 13 Old 11-19-2010, 01:09 PM
 
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I think people are just fascinated and are in awe of the whole process.  As a result they don't know how to handle themselves and experience diarrhea of the mouth.

 

I have a co-worker who has forgotten my real name and has called me "big belly" since I started to show (we are not even that close, I barely talk to her.)  Others tell me "You look like your about to bust!"  "Everytime I see you I'm amazed at how big you've gotten" (no $&@! there's a growing baby in there eyesroll.gif)  "Gosh that looks painful!"  so forth and so on.  Total strangers come up to me and want to touch my belly.  I just take it in stride,  although,  the Roter Rooter man getting in a belly rub is kinda gross grossedout.gif.

 

I don't think they mean any harm, and really I think they say stupid things because they don't know what else to say.  They can't resist the magnetism of the belly and feel compelled to comment on it.


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#8 of 13 Old 11-19-2010, 02:17 PM
 
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Gotta agree with EllisH and Simonsez2u...  People are just drawn to pregnant women.  Baby making and the continuance of our species is something just about all of us have in common.  Too bad we don't all share a common etiquette when it comes to what is acceptable to say!  To me it's kind of like dogs sniffing tush...  It isn't attractive or comfortable, but there's not a lot you can do to get them to quit.  They just wanna participate with the terribly interesting thing going on with you, whether or not you consent.

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#9 of 13 Old 11-19-2010, 04:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Adorkable~ View Post

well i would rather have someone say something stupid than have the Roter Rooter guy reach out and rub my belly faster than i would stop him! YUCK!

 

yeah that really happened 2 days ago



oh gross! the only person who dared touch my belly is a coworker of my husband's, and i didn't mind. some random guy?! SO not ok!


January 2011
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#10 of 13 Old 11-20-2010, 08:41 PM
 
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Groan.  I swear, if someone tells me one more time about how ENORMOUS I am, I'm going to sit on them.  Yeah?  Enormous?  I'll give you enormous!!!


boogiemonster | the hairy scotsman | anna the elf | lucy the sprite | wee faerie faye, born 01/02/11

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#11 of 13 Old 11-21-2010, 05:34 AM
 
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*twitching eye lid*  My MIL is driving me bonkers.  "That baby is getting SOOOOOO big" and similar comments.  Yesterday she took it upon herself to tell me about the gal at her church who is due about a week before me, but is soooo much smaller and who had her baby measured by sonogram, it's five pounds, she'll probably have a nine pound baby, yada yada yada.  *grrrr*  I UC/UP and I think this bothers my MIL something fierce, but she won't come right out and say it.  Instead, I get the underhanded comments meant to make me feel like a careening barge.

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#12 of 13 Old 11-21-2010, 02:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pirogi View Post

I just got told, "Wow, you are looking really ripe!"

 

Nice.



Eww, that's somehow very creepy...

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#13 of 13 Old 11-22-2010, 11:32 PM
 
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DDC: I was active duty with my first and WOW the civilians I worked with were so much worse than the military people. Only one that ever asked me questions/made suggestions on the military side was my Master Gunns and it was because I trusted/valued his opinion on things and he worried about me. So he would always ask if I had eaten, was drinking enough water, if I cringed he would ask if I was in pain etc. My first pregnancy resulted in a  miscarriage so he was worried when I got pregnant again I might lose the baby again (I called him my second Dad, I still keep in contact with him and Ive been out over 3 years now). The civilans however were so rude. One called me Fatty all the time, umm yea.. Another kept telling random people to watch out I was going to have my water break on top of them. She started that around 25 weeks, she was also a toucher and kept trying to touch my stomach.I had one that told me I was setting myself up for a C-Section because I wasn't taking prenatals (umm, couldn't, I threw them up as soon as I tried) and was gaining to much weight. I really wanted to post a sign on my desk "Im pregnant, Im hormonal and Im a really good shot... Do you really want to mess with me??"


~Heather~ Mama to Miss E (1/07), Miss A (11/08), Mr.T (2/11) and Miss A (10/12) Expecting our newest blessing sometime late Sept/early Oct.. Wife to my Marine since 11/2005
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