my little guy was born sleeping at 39 weeks 1/12 - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 03:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I know I have not been that active in this forum as I have had a difficult pregnancy now delivery.  I posted a couple days ago about my scheduled c section and fear of something being wrong.  Well my instinct was right.  Gunnar James 8lbs 8oz 21 inches blue eyes and black hair heart stopped while on monitors waiting for surgery.  I would post pictures but i do not think it is appreciate,  His heart rate was slow to begin with and it all happened so fast there was nothing the Dr could do.  He had pooped while inside me and they say he swallowed and suffocated on it.  I never have been in so much pain in my life, I would have never imagined the kinda pain I am going thru.  I do not wish this on anyone.. It feels like my heart is being ripped from my chest and stomped on.  thank you for reading, I am still in shock and even sometimes I feel "movements" and think i am still pregnant, that this is all a dream.


Jenn, single, wahm, to Kayla Rayne born 8-18-09 and Gunnar James who was born sleeping @ 39 weeks 1/12/2011
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#2 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 03:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow I appologize for the terrible grammar and spelling errors.  I must have spell checked it and picked wrong words.  I am not thinking clearly


Jenn, single, wahm, to Kayla Rayne born 8-18-09 and Gunnar James who was born sleeping @ 39 weeks 1/12/2011
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#3 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 05:58 AM
 
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Dear vulnerable,  Your post made me cry and I don't know what to say in comfort about the loss of your little boy.  I hope you can find the strength to take care of yourself and your beautiful daughter and that you have people around you to support you.

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#4 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 06:28 AM
 
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i am so very, very sorry to hear about your pain. it is considerate of you to think of others before posting your pictures, but i think you should feel comfortable posting a link. i am certain he was just as beautiful as all the other babies that have been born this month have been. we can all take responsibility for deciding whether or not we want to look. i hope you were connected to Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep for the photos.

 

really, my heart aches for you and your family. i am SO sorry :( .


hoping for a !
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#5 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 06:37 AM
 
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Oh mama, I'm so very sorry for your loss. Please be easy on yourself. Sending prayers your way.


Christina, mama to A 10/05, E 09/07 and S 01/11; Spending my time as a wife, mama, teacher and student. Loving every minute of it! Life is so good!   joy.gif
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#6 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 06:40 AM
 
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I am so very sorry for your loss!


Clara (28), DH (37), DD1 (02/14/07), DD2 (02/09/11) and baby #3 on the way, due 9/12/12.

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#7 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 06:55 AM
 
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Oh god, I was so hoping that the title of your post didn't mean what I thought it did. I am so sorry for your tragic loss. I hope you have a lot of support from very sensitive and loving people. Please don't feel it's inappropriate to post pictures of your son. Hugs, and know that Mothering moms are thinking of you. candle.gif


Me bfinfant.gifDP caffix.gif one silly 5 year old  boy blahblah.gif and a brand new babyboy.gifcd.gif  signcirc1.gifgoorganic.jpg
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#8 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 06:59 AM
 
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I am so sorry!! ((((hugs)))) I have BTDT. It is hell. I kept asking people..will I ever forget? I wanted to forget! They would tell me, you won't forget. You will accept and move on. I was so devastated, I actually have amnesia from the funeral until a month later. 

 

((((hugs))))) I am just so sorry!

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#9 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 07:02 AM
 
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I'm so very, very sorry for your loss.  My thoughts are with you.   candle.gif


Andrea fly-by-nursing2.gif - Mommy to DD1 ('05), DD2 ('08), DD3 (6/17/11) cd.gif homebirth.jpg

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#10 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 07:54 AM
 
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DDCC--- I'm so sorry mama. I am sending such love and support to you, your family and all those who already loved this precious little one. grouphug.gif

 

ashley


Mama to  angel.gif(2/09) & angel.gif(6/09) & Phoenix Lucien 2/24/11 homebirth.jpg
 
 
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#11 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 08:01 AM
 
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I am so very sorry. Sending you love and light.


Diane, SAHM to DD (June 05) and DS (April 07).
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#12 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 08:23 AM
 
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I am so sorry for your loss. This happened to DH and I last March. It is the worst pain ever and your brain plays horrible tricks on you. For weeks I would forget that I wasn't still pregnant too. Now, almost a year later, just remembering that day hurts but it does get better. You go from constant pain to occasional pain, and I'm sure eventually we will feel almost normal. Take your time healing and don't feel like you have to explain what happened to anyone you don't feel like. Sometimes that is the hardest part, having to tell what happened over and over again. When you have time I would look up the phases of grief. I would've been a lot better off if I had known those because it would've helped understand why I was feeling the way I was, etc., and helped me get to the next phase. http://www.irisremembers.com/


belly.gif1***5****10****15****20****25****30****35heartbeat.gif***40babygirl.gif

 

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#13 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 08:30 AM
 
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Oh Mama, I wish I could give you a long, tight hug.

I am so sorry for your loss and pray healing for you and your family.

(((HUGS)))


Lovin my sweet babygirl 3-17-10love.gif and expecting another in March! love.gif

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#14 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 08:45 AM
 
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I'm so very sorry mama; my heart breaks for you just reading your post. We would love to see pictures of your beautiful son if you want to share. This forum also has a special pregnancy and birth loss forum, that may be a place for support. I will keep your family in my thoughts.


Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

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#15 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 09:39 AM
 
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Oh Vulnerable I am so, so sorry for your loss!  There are no adequate words.  Your in my thoughts and prayers. 


Wife to my love Ted, and Mama to DS  ('09)    DD  ('11)  DS ('12) love.gif!


 

            

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#16 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 09:44 AM
 
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There are no words, mama.  I am so sorry for your loss.  candle.gif


Angela -- mama to Jack (11/03), Adeline (6/06), Ella (11/08), and William (1/11). Accredited Leader: Attachment Parenting International of Orange County.h20homebirth.giffly-by-nursing2.gif homeschool.gif
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#17 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 10:18 AM
 
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candle.gif


mama to one '07 and one '09
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#18 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 10:32 AM
 
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Oh mama I am so very sorry for your loss. (((HUGS)))


Tracie, mama to dd5, ds4, and ds born Dec. '10
 

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#19 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 10:34 AM
 
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Oh, I am so, so sorry, mama.  What heartbreak.  I have no words.

 

Please be gentle with yourself and take advantage in every source of support you can find.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.


At-home mom to a teenager, an infant, and three in between!
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#20 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 10:53 AM
 
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I don't know what to say.  I am so, so sorry.


Happy Wife  partners.gif since 12/31/05 ~ Blessed Mama to stillheart.gif 2/8/09 and stillheart.gif 6/11/11, with stillheart.gif on the way due 2/24/14

 

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#21 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 11:15 AM
 
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oh mama, i am so sorry. That is just heartbreaking. I know you must be in shock.  That is so hard to accept.  I do know some of what you are feeling. I lost my daughter at 41 weeks one year ago. The pain is gut-wrenching, i know.  Please think of posting in the pregnancy and birth loss forum. you will find so much support there. and everyone in there would love to see photos of your little Gunnar. I'm sure he is beautiful.  you can also PM me if you need anything at all. You will wonder if you can make it through this. You can. It isn't easy, though.

Please know i'm thinking of you today.


My husband and I are trying to conceive again, while missing our beautiful daughter who was stillborn Jan. 2010
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#22 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 11:15 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beverly View Post

Oh, I am so, so sorry, mama.  What heartbreak.  I have no words.

 

Please be gentle with yourself and take advantage in every source of support you can find.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

This exactly  candle.gif
 


Wendy (26), married to my sweetheart since 2007. Mommy to Caroline, born Boxing Day 2010 by beautiful home water birth h20homebirth.gif  intactlact.gif
 
 
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#23 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 11:48 AM
 
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I am so incredibly sorry, my heart is breaking for you.  You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers...

:hug


Amee + James (1998) =
Amethyst (May 2002)
Asheby "Bear" (November 2006)
Abbott (January 2011)
Atlas (March 2013)
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#24 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 12:38 PM
 
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My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. There is nothing worse!


Wife to DH mom to DD(09-05) and DD(03/27).joy.gif

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#25 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 12:44 PM
 
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I am so sorry.  I know it's not much right now, but my thoughts and prayers are with you.


SAHM to DS June 2008 and baby on the way March 2011
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#26 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 12:44 PM
 
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My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this most difficult time. 

 

There is a support group for those who have lost children called Compassionate Friends and they helped me immensely.  Online support is wonderful but I needed IRL help and they were there for me.

 

Again, I'm sending prayers for you and sweet Gunnar.

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#27 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 01:01 PM
 
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candle.gif

so very, very sorry for your loss. you are in my thoughts.


~~Angie~~
mom to Alona 12, Olivia 8, Ivy 3 , angel3.gif1/19/09 & Natalia Quinn 1.10.11
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#28 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 03:04 PM
 
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My heart is aching for you. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I know healing will come in time but just take now to be sad and mourn your baby. 


Sarah - wife, mom to Riley 7/9/03 and Jacob 7/15/05 and Hannah 1/5/11 a successful vbac.gif
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#29 of 37 Old 01-15-2011, 09:39 PM
 
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I am so very sorry for your loss mama.  You are in my thoughts.


Heather: Mama to my amazing boys A-14.5, C-13, & M-5.5, and my sweet girl S-2.5 and introducing our little surprise Liam Michael, born 12/28!
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#30 of 37 Old 01-16-2011, 09:13 PM
 
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Just thinking of you today mama.


Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

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