I know I have not been that active in this forum as I have had a difficult pregnancy now delivery. I posted a couple days ago about my scheduled c section and fear of something being wrong. Well my instinct was right. Gunnar James 8lbs 8oz 21 inches blue eyes and black hair heart stopped while on monitors waiting for surgery. I would post pictures but i do not think it is appreciate, His heart rate was slow to begin with and it all happened so fast there was nothing the Dr could do. He had pooped while inside me and they say he swallowed and suffocated on it. I never have been in so much pain in my life, I would have never imagined the kinda pain I am going thru. I do not wish this on anyone.. It feels like my heart is being ripped from my chest and stomped on. thank you for reading, I am still in shock and even sometimes I feel "movements" and think i am still pregnant, that this is all a dream.
Wow I appologize for the terrible grammar and spelling errors. I must have spell checked it and picked wrong words. I am not thinking clearly
Dear vulnerable, Your post made me cry and I don't know what to say in comfort about the loss of your little boy. I hope you can find the strength to take care of yourself and your beautiful daughter and that you have people around you to support you.
i am so very, very sorry to hear about your pain. it is considerate of you to think of others before posting your pictures, but i think you should feel comfortable posting a link. i am certain he was just as beautiful as all the other babies that have been born this month have been. we can all take responsibility for deciding whether or not we want to look. i hope you were connected to Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep for the photos.
really, my heart aches for you and your family. i am SO sorry :( .
Oh mama, I'm so very sorry for your loss. Please be easy on yourself. Sending prayers your way.
Oh god, I was so hoping that the title of your post didn't mean what I thought it did. I am so sorry for your tragic loss. I hope you have a lot of support from very sensitive and loving people. Please don't feel it's inappropriate to post pictures of your son. Hugs, and know that Mothering moms are thinking of you.
I am so sorry!! ((((hugs)))) I have BTDT. It is hell. I kept asking people..will I ever forget? I wanted to forget! They would tell me, you won't forget. You will accept and move on. I was so devastated, I actually have amnesia from the funeral until a month later.
((((hugs))))) I am just so sorry!
DDCC--- I'm so sorry mama. I am sending such love and support to you, your family and all those who already loved this precious little one.
I am so sorry for your loss. This happened to DH and I last March. It is the worst pain ever and your brain plays horrible tricks on you. For weeks I would forget that I wasn't still pregnant too. Now, almost a year later, just remembering that day hurts but it does get better. You go from constant pain to occasional pain, and I'm sure eventually we will feel almost normal. Take your time healing and don't feel like you have to explain what happened to anyone you don't feel like. Sometimes that is the hardest part, having to tell what happened over and over again. When you have time I would look up the phases of grief. I would've been a lot better off if I had known those because it would've helped understand why I was feeling the way I was, etc., and helped me get to the next phase. http://www.irisremembers.com/
Oh Mama, I wish I could give you a long, tight hug.
I am so sorry for your loss and pray healing for you and your family.
Lovin my sweet babygirl 3-17-10 and expecting another in March!
I'm so very sorry mama; my heart breaks for you just reading your post. We would love to see pictures of your beautiful son if you want to share. This forum also has a special pregnancy and birth loss forum, that may be a place for support. I will keep your family in my thoughts.
Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdad and mom to DS 24 months, and DD 8 months! .
Oh Vulnerable I am so, so sorry for your loss! There are no adequate words. Your in my thoughts and prayers.
Wife to my love Ted, and Mama to DS ('09) DD ('11) DS ('12) !
There are no words, mama. I am so sorry for your loss.
Oh, I am so, so sorry, mama. What heartbreak. I have no words.
Please be gentle with yourself and take advantage in every source of support you can find. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
oh mama, i am so sorry. That is just heartbreaking. I know you must be in shock. That is so hard to accept. I do know some of what you are feeling. I lost my daughter at 41 weeks one year ago. The pain is gut-wrenching, i know. Please think of posting in the pregnancy and birth loss forum. you will find so much support there. and everyone in there would love to see photos of your little Gunnar. I'm sure he is beautiful. you can also PM me if you need anything at all. You will wonder if you can make it through this. You can. It isn't easy, though.
Please know i'm thinking of you today.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this most difficult time.
There is a support group for those who have lost children called Compassionate Friends and they helped me immensely. Online support is wonderful but I needed IRL help and they were there for me.
Again, I'm sending prayers for you and sweet Gunnar.
My heart is aching for you. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I know healing will come in time but just take now to be sad and mourn your baby.
I am so very sorry for your loss mama. You are in my thoughts.