I WANT homebirth but probably can't afford it---anyone else? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 06-05-2010, 08:19 AM - Thread Starter
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I hate this feeling. It would cost 4,000 out of pocket for a hb OR i can have a hospital birth (HOPEFULLY with the same CNM i had last time) for FREE. My health insurance (BCBS) covers everything in the hospital and will not cover homebirth (and it's one of those loopholes where they say they WILL cover it if it is a CNM but CNM don't do homebirths here so it's a never ending argument/cycle with the insurance company).

Let me start by saying i LOVE the CNM at the practice i'm seeing. The problem is that i'm not guarenteed to get her. I lucked out last time. There are 3 other OB's at that same practice and I really like one of them, one of the them I barely got to know last time, and one of them I . DO. NOT LIKE/WANT and would probably run away screaming from the hospital if it is that one that i get the day i go into labor.

It's a long story but she basically made fun of me on the phone for being in serious pain while m/c my 12.5 week pregnancy (before DS) and told me i was over reacting and was most likely just constipated It was one of those life events that was pretty tramatizing to me and just thinking about that dr. makes me feel pretty Oh and i also called 4 times throughout the night updating her with how i was feeling and what was going on (twice DH had to talk to her because i was in too much pain to talk or even think) and she was annoyed at him for not giving me the phone...

I just wonder what to do...I can def plan to have ALL my visits be with the CNM that I love (and if for some reason i can't one time i could go see the OB who i did like last time).

One of the main reasons we can't afford the hb is that our car just died and we had to take out a 9,000 loan for a new-to-us car and knowing that i won't be working for 6 months after the baby is born (and then it comes with me to work but i'll be paid less since i'll be paying for two kids tuition at the preschool) we just don't have a way of coming up with 4,000.

me, dh and 2 boys = our family (oh and a cat...who is also a male...lol)
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#2 of 12 Old 06-05-2010, 10:01 AM
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Start selling bigger stuff on craigslist and have a yard sale! It will help declutter at the same time!
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#3 of 12 Old 06-05-2010, 10:06 AM
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That would be us. I went through this last winter when we were planning the birth for the baby we lost. Insurance doesn't cover homebirth in Mass, but a lot of the midwives here only do HBs. I found a great midwife, through recommendations on here in the In my Tribe forums. the hospital she delivers at has been called more of a birth center and is super family friendly, which is perfect. I gave birth in a hospital with a midwive in Maine when we lived there, and it was amazing, they discharged us same day and they basically left us alone and totally honored our birth plan.

If I had gone through what you did with your mc, I would find a new practice...
I would be SO stressed out about having to deal with one of those OBs it wouldn't be healthy. You shouldn't have been treated like that. Did you talk to the midwife you like about how they treated you?

Michelle, Mama to ~ F (10/06) ~ S (7/08) ~ H (2/11) ~ B (11/12)
Expecting a surprise (5/15)
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#4 of 12 Old 06-05-2010, 10:17 AM
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Maybe talk to this CNM that you love. See what she can do for you. I had a MW here cancel and appt with me because a client was in labor - she wasn't on call (if she were, she wouldn't have had appts), but she made time to be with this particular client - maybe high risk? Anyways if you love her and have a relationship with her, you may be able to ask her advice about the birth and about the insurance thing and if there is anyway she could be there for the birth. Or get a doula - so that no matter who you have at the birth attending, you will have someone that can give you the support you need. And go ahead and talk to some MWs who do HB and see if they have had any success with the insurance companies. Here, there is a HB MW that will bill insurance for you - you pay upfront then she bills for reimbursement to you. then when you make a decision, you will feel confident in knowing you've really researched all your options.

I too had a hospital birth with a CNM for free. I had a great experience, but the hospital here is basically run by the CNM - its almost like a birth center & I was discharged w/in 24 hrs.

I did go back and forth about pursueing a homebirth, but the $$ issue was there for us too. In your case where you are clearly savng up to take time off, you have to decide if 4K is more important as a HB fee or as an extra month or two with your child, and that stinks - I am sorry! In my case it was just that I flat out can't afford anything because we have a house on the market that hasn't sold in almost a year. ((hugs))

~ Professor Mama to Gabito (July '07) & Danita (April '10) ~
A PhD = + +
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#5 of 12 Old 06-05-2010, 11:44 AM
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Same here, just that there are no HB midwives around here. One in Denver (2h drive) only who is willing to come up here. Our weather in winter is horrible and very often they close down the interstate to Denver, so it's not really an option. Plus Tricare won't pay anything, if you get lucky maybe $1500, I have heard mixed stories of people getting reimbursed some or nothing at all.
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#6 of 12 Old 06-05-2010, 03:53 PM
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I hate the OBs in my town. I'm planning an UC... but I'm odd around these parts

Melanie, SAHM to Kyley Grace (5)  Elijah Franklin (2) and Asher John (March 17th)
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#7 of 12 Old 06-05-2010, 07:13 PM
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I would really communicate with the local midwife community and see if anyone was willing to barter for services, take payments or give you a discount. I know a lady here who bartered her homebirth for her husband's house painting services. I know another who took a substantial sum off the total in exchange for one home-cooked dinner a week that the client made for the midwife's family.

I know how stressful the fee can be. Will your insurance pay for any of it out of network? Mine is paying for some of it, but the total for my free-standing birth center birth is $4500 and we have no idea which fees the insurance company will dispute. Sigh. Why don't they understand that this is the most healthy thing for moms and babies, and that this way ends up SAVING them money! I hate insurance companies. Universal Healthcare can't come soon enough.

Anyway, I wish you luck. I hope you either get your homebirth or the CNM who makes you comfortable.

Sarah~ Crunchy, Wiccan, AP, Gemini mama who loves her amazing 3 year old little man and energetic DH. Learning to cope with the idea of a 2nd son.
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#8 of 12 Old 06-05-2010, 10:41 PM
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I'm in the same boat! I have a CNM here in NC that delivered my son here at home. We have BCBS of NC. We paid $3500 for the birth and were only reimbursed by BCBS $750. Some blah blah about a provider being outside the plan, etc.

I have contacted the same midwife for this birth, and it is my "plan" to have her deliver this baby. That being said, I have NO idea how we are going to afford it. We are on a very tight budget right now with me staying home with the kids. It kills me to think we will go into credit card debt (again) over this. I have delivered both my kids at home, and I have actually considered having this one in the hospital to save money. That SUCKS!

~Debra, wife to the best DH, Nuno (9/98). Blessed SAHM momma to DS Diogo (3/04), DS Cruz (9/07) and DD Beatriz 2/2/11!!  
Welcome Beatriz!! - http://web.me.com/ng0/Beatriz/Posts/Posts.html
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#9 of 12 Old 06-06-2010, 12:32 AM
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Id like a homebirth but I don't know if it would work out. I don't even know WHERE Ill be when I give birth.. or what country Ill be in.

~Heather~ Mama to Miss E (1/07), Miss A (11/08), Mr.T (2/11) and Miss A (10/12) Expecting our newest blessing sometime late Sept/early Oct.. Wife to my Marine since 11/2005
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#10 of 12 Old 06-06-2010, 01:55 AM
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Homebirth is sooo much cheaper when you think of all you get from it.

Most midwives will work with you. Either trade or paying some after the birth.

And remember, the resentment from losing out on your birth due to simple finances can last and last. So homebirth is cheaper than therapy.

Mama to 8 little ones by birth and adoption. S 14, E 12, G 10, C 9, K 7, N 6, R 5, Ch 3 and baby T 9 months

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#11 of 12 Old 06-06-2010, 08:26 AM
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we too have had a hard time affording our births, but we did it each time. I had to wait until the next year's tax return to pay (6 months later) the first in full and actually managed to pay pre-full-term with DD2 (beans and rice, rice and beans)! Both times I would have had "free" births in the hospital.
There are a multitude of reasons why I'm ecstatic we went the route we did.

From what you describe your relationship with that one OB I would think you would really be 'saving' yourself. I put a price on care. I'd sell off a few things even things that are really important to me (my spinning wheel- whatever), or work out a payment plan or a combination of things.

I think if you REALLY want this HB you will find a way to make it happen.

orngbiggrin.gif mom of three with stork-suprise.gif on the way

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#12 of 12 Old 06-06-2010, 12:49 PM
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We were in that situation last time. Instead I went with my fantastic family doctor and hired a doula, and had a great hospital birth. We're very lucky this time - our provincial health insurance now covers midwives.

Sarahknit.gifmarried to Kylehopmad.gif Mama to Orion  bouncy.gif08/07 and introducing Alice! babygirl.gif 02/11
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