High risk Mamas support thread - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 24 Old 07-21-2010, 11:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I've seen a support thread for high risk mamas on other DDC's. Any interest for one here?

I got pre-eclampsia with my first pregnancy, and my son was born at 28 weeks. So, with this pregnancy, I don't get to have a midwife, which I loved. I've got to take meds to keep my blood pressure down, and do a BP screening daily. It's a really different experience, but will all be worth if we get to term, or close enough that we don't end up with a NICU stay (please, please, please!).

I don't even know what we're going to do about the birth, if we get that far - I'm kind of scared to do a VBAC homebirth now, after having had a sick baby. It feels like such a risk, and I know it's not, but I'm so worried about worst case scenario happening - I guess once you've been through it once, you're sure that EVERYTHING is going to be a worst case scenario!

I know there are days that I'm falling apart - that I'm only 10 1/2 weeks into this "high risk" pregnancy and I feel like I can't take the stress one more day. Maybe it'd be a good place for us to talk about that, if anyone else is having a similar experience. We could help each other stay positive, talk about the hard parts and also the unique triumphs of what we're doing, and know that like-minded mamas sometimes have complicated pregnancies, too!

And, if there's not a lot of interest, no hard feelings .

Kelley, lucky partner to my Canuck and momma to Peter Gwydion (9/08) whistling.gif, Eliot Theoden (2/11) sleepytime.gif, and Harper Ophelia (m/c 6/12) rainbow1284.gif . We breastfeed exclusively, cosleep peacefully, vax selectively, homeschool joyously, and love each other unconditionally! luxlove.gif 
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#2 of 24 Old 07-21-2010, 12:01 PM
 
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My twins were born at 30 wks due to pre-e and spent 6 weeks in the NICU, so I totally know how you feel.
So far with this pregnancy my OB had me do a 24 hour urine catch to check my baseline protein in case I start spilling protein this time around. Toting around a jug of pee is not fun.
Thankfully my BP has been perfect, and even last time it didn't get about 140/90 so I'm praying it stays down this time around.

My OB has been very supportive and hasn't called this a "high risk" pregnancy so I'm hoping for an uneventful VBAC.

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#3 of 24 Old 07-21-2010, 09:35 PM
 
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not to thread hijack, but have you heard of the brewer diet for pregnancy? my midwives really strongly advocate for getting enough protein (especially) as well as other nutrients to help prevent complications like pre-e. you might look into it.

http://www.blueribbonbaby.org/

http://www.drbrewerpregnancydiet.com/

good luck, mamas...i wish you happy and healthy pregnancies.

helpmeet. mama to Sam (1.18.09 ) and another baby boy (due 2.1.2011 ). planning our first .
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#4 of 24 Old 07-21-2010, 11:43 PM
 
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I had my daughter at 27 weeks because of PROM. I didn't find out until most of the way through my next pregnancy that I just have IC. I probably had a UTI that irritated the membranes and caused them to rupture sending me into labor since I was already dilating. She was in the NICU for 10 weeks.

I had my second at 33 weeks after several weeks of bed rest and close monitoring. A few in and outs at the hospital for steroids, magnesium and a home prescription for terbutaline. He was only in the hospital for 2 weeks, but then we went back 2 weeks later for RSV.

So, this time I get to have a cerclage and be watched like a hawk again. Probably without bedrest. And probably with some different (hopefully less irritating) drugs. BUT, I am still seeing my midwife with just OB back up care (and surgery of course) and I'm still planning my home birth.

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#5 of 24 Old 07-22-2010, 04:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by babybirkel View Post
not to thread hijack, but have you heard of the brewer diet for pregnancy? my midwives really strongly advocate for getting enough protein (especially) as well as other nutrients to help prevent complications like pre-e. you might look into it.

http://www.blueribbonbaby.org/

http://www.drbrewerpregnancydiet.com/

good luck, mamas...i wish you happy and healthy pregnancies.
Unfortunately, the Brewer Diet does nothing for pre-e! I wish it did! I was actually following it during my first pregnancy, and, well, the results were pretty conclusive that it did absolutely nothing as far as preventing preeclampsia. I know people who followed the Brewer Diet and didn't get pre-e, and I know a lot of people who followed the Brewer Diet and DID get pre-e. I do think that it provides great nutrition for growing a healthy baby, and am following an approximation of it again for this reason - but have no expectations for it as far as preventative care.

Just so you know, bringing up the Brewer Diet to someone who has had pre-e can feel a lot like a kick in the stomach. The implication is that it's our fault for getting pre-e because we weren't doing something right, and that's not the case. No one knows what causes pre-e, and the only way to fix it is delivering the baby. If the Brewer Diet could stop pre-e, trust me, they'd have seized upon it by now. I mention this because there have been times when people who meant well have accidentally reduced me to tears by telling me, "Oh, have you heard of the Brewer Diet?" It's really hard!

Kelley, lucky partner to my Canuck and momma to Peter Gwydion (9/08) whistling.gif, Eliot Theoden (2/11) sleepytime.gif, and Harper Ophelia (m/c 6/12) rainbow1284.gif . We breastfeed exclusively, cosleep peacefully, vax selectively, homeschool joyously, and love each other unconditionally! luxlove.gif 
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#6 of 24 Old 07-22-2010, 05:05 PM
 
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Just so you know, bringing up the Brewer Diet to someone who has had pre-e can feel a lot like a kick in the stomach. The implication is that it's our fault for getting pre-e because we weren't doing something right, and that's not the case. No one knows what causes pre-e, and the only way to fix it is delivering the baby. If the Brewer Diet could stop pre-e, trust me, they'd have seized upon it by now. I mention this because there have been times when people who meant well have accidentally reduced me to tears by telling me, "Oh, have you heard of the Brewer Diet?" It's really hard!
Thank you so much for saying that, ComplexOphelia! I drafted up several responses to babybirkel but none of them were quite as well stated as yours.

After my twins were born I had 2 different women point out that the Brewer Diet would have prevented my pre-e... their ignorance/arrogance was infuriating. Not to mention the fact I know several women in my moms group who faithfully logged every bite they ate and religiously followed the Brewer Diet AND still ended up with pre-e.

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#7 of 24 Old 07-22-2010, 05:58 PM
 
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I'm not exactly high risk, but they do keep an extra eye on me since DS was born at 32 weeks after my water broke and contractions started. I also ended up with a c/s with a j-incision, so I am cautioned against laboring at all and will definitely have a repeat c-section (sometimes they make me feel like a ticking time bomb ). Thankfully my daughter was born full-term at 39 weeks but since they don't really know why I went into labor early with my first, they like to watch me a little closer.

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#8 of 24 Old 07-22-2010, 06:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My twins were born at 30 wks due to pre-e and spent 6 weeks in the NICU, so I totally know how you feel.
So far with this pregnancy my OB had me do a 24 hour urine catch to check my baseline protein in case I start spilling protein this time around. Toting around a jug of pee is not fun.
Thankfully my BP has been perfect, and even last time it didn't get about 140/90 so I'm praying it stays down this time around.

My OB has been very supportive and hasn't called this a "high risk" pregnancy so I'm hoping for an uneventful VBAC.
It's hard, because on the pre-e forums, everyone wants to talk about how terrible their experiences were, which I get! So many of those mamas have been so, so brave, and they deserve a place to be celebrated by people who know intimately just how brave they've been. The thing is that right now I don't really want to hear detailed stories of bad pre-e, but really need the support of someone else who knows what pre-e and really early babies are like! I'm glad you're here, Mama .

We did a 24-hour catch too - and I ended up needing two jugs for all my pee . I think it's a situation where maybe it gets more fun when you're lugging TWO jugs - just because, come on, that is among the most absurd things I've ever had to do. Here's hoping we don't need any more!

Glad to hear your OB is supportive and not calling you high-risk. My OB is just a crazy person - I like him, and he's a good doctor, but he's kind of obsessed with my "high risk" status, which I don't really mind, actually. It means he watches me really closely, and that's what I want! My MFM is much more reasonable about the whole thing, pointing out that my chance of recurrence is only 20%, and telling me lots that they're going to take good care of me and I won't have a micro-preemie like last time. I appreciate it. A LOT.

Kelley, lucky partner to my Canuck and momma to Peter Gwydion (9/08) whistling.gif, Eliot Theoden (2/11) sleepytime.gif, and Harper Ophelia (m/c 6/12) rainbow1284.gif . We breastfeed exclusively, cosleep peacefully, vax selectively, homeschool joyously, and love each other unconditionally! luxlove.gif 
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#9 of 24 Old 07-22-2010, 06:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I had my daughter at 27 weeks because of PROM. I didn't find out until most of the way through my next pregnancy that I just have IC. I probably had a UTI that irritated the membranes and caused them to rupture sending me into labor since I was already dilating. She was in the NICU for 10 weeks.

I had my second at 33 weeks after several weeks of bed rest and close monitoring. A few in and outs at the hospital for steroids, magnesium and a home prescription for terbutaline. He was only in the hospital for 2 weeks, but then we went back 2 weeks later for RSV.

So, this time I get to have a cerclage and be watched like a hawk again. Probably without bedrest. And probably with some different (hopefully less irritating) drugs. BUT, I am still seeing my midwife with just OB back up care (and surgery of course) and I'm still planning my home birth.
Awesome on planning the HB, Mama! Will it be a VBAC (I don't want to make assumptions)? I would love to have a HB this time around, and my midwife from last time is totally amenable to hearing from me at 36 weeks (or me calling and saying, "JEN I'M IN LABOR!" Well, maybe not that amenable ). For me it takes getting over some strong anxiety, which I bet will happen as my pregnancy progresses and is healthy. Hoping hard for you that you get some easier drugs - I also had mag, and it is a TOTAL b*tch.

It's great to have some fellow NICU-veteran Mamas here, too. Do you guys find that you're kind of planning your NICU stay, in the back of your head? I know that I want to get a sheepskin for baby to lie on in the isolette, for instance. It's so weird, because I'm not doing much planning of home stuff - but I think a lot about what I would want with our NICU stay. Maybe I should start looking into HBAC and planning that for something positive to focus on!!

Kelley, lucky partner to my Canuck and momma to Peter Gwydion (9/08) whistling.gif, Eliot Theoden (2/11) sleepytime.gif, and Harper Ophelia (m/c 6/12) rainbow1284.gif . We breastfeed exclusively, cosleep peacefully, vax selectively, homeschool joyously, and love each other unconditionally! luxlove.gif 
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#10 of 24 Old 07-22-2010, 11:29 PM
 
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i apologize, i wasn't trying to imply that you hadn't done something right in your last pregnancies. i was only trying to help, honestly, if you hadn't heard of it and it would be something to help you.

i'm sorry for the way my post came across. i hope there are no hard feelings, and again, i wish you happy and healthy pregnancies.

helpmeet. mama to Sam (1.18.09 ) and another baby boy (due 2.1.2011 ). planning our first .
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#11 of 24 Old 07-23-2010, 08:53 AM
 
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I'm a high-risk mama as well. Mum of two preemies, 23 and 30 weeks. 23 weeker died after almost 6 weeks.
I had HELLP last pregnancy (pre-e, that developed into HELLP) and had to have an emergency c-section in the middle of the night when my placenta ruptured. (I was in the hospital.)
We've also had losses now, so it's been a rough ride to get here.
And, we have a very sick 6.5 yo., and even though it's not genetic, we're scared of having another severe SN child.

So this is an emotional roller coaster ride. But they are taking good care of me, and I have plenty of follow-ups. As often as I need really, I can just call the hospital if something is up.
We're going for a VBAC, and I really hope I can get to 37 weeks at least.

-pixie, my dear, and (A-88), N-98, Littlest-06/00-08/00, J-03 & Little Miss Cotton Ball Button-03 (SN), S-05, Hope-loss 09/09, Bean-loss 04/10, and littlePopcorn due feb. 8th -11.
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#12 of 24 Old 07-23-2010, 09:45 AM
 
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I've been lurking and reading and decided to post- I'll be considered high-risk because of my many DCs and GD in the last 2. I've decided to refuse the gluclose test this time around (I'm already monitoring my blood sugars and diet) and think giving someone who has a history of GD a drink equal to 4 candy bars (and doesn't usually even eat one) highly stupid () and if I don't have it already it would just push me over the top! lol So far though my sugars have been really good and I've been able to identify foods that I know will cause an issue later and when somethings are ok to eat (during the day) and when to avoid them all together.

It is nice to have others to support you. I do have one that came a bit early- 34 wker (my water broke but for no appearant reason- and labor would not start for 2 days). He spent just a week in the NICU learning to suck and has not had any issues since. We were very lucky and I'm so grateful for that. Funny but his birth alone doesn't put in a high risk catogory though- since there was no other problems and the best reason anyone can come up with is he pulled hard enough to rupture them himself. (And if you knew him then and now you'd think so too! )

So I'm here and I hope I can be supportive too- but I don't have any exp w/pre-e. But have lots of hugs!


(Oh and a side note this was my 1000 post! )
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#13 of 24 Old 07-23-2010, 02:58 PM
 
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Unfortunately, the Brewer Diet does nothing for pre-e! I wish it did! I was actually following it during my first pregnancy, and, well, the results were pretty conclusive that it did absolutely nothing as far as preventing preeclampsia. I know people who followed the Brewer Diet and didn't get pre-e, and I know a lot of people who followed the Brewer Diet and DID get pre-e. I do think that it provides great nutrition for growing a healthy baby, and am following an approximation of it again for this reason - but have no expectations for it as far as preventative care.

Just so you know, bringing up the Brewer Diet to someone who has had pre-e can feel a lot like a kick in the stomach. The implication is that it's our fault for getting pre-e because we weren't doing something right, and that's not the case. No one knows what causes pre-e, and the only way to fix it is delivering the baby. If the Brewer Diet could stop pre-e, trust me, they'd have seized upon it by now. I mention this because there have been times when people who meant well have accidentally reduced me to tears by telling me, "Oh, have you heard of the Brewer Diet?" It's really hard!
with my daughter, who is now almost two, i came very close to full blown pre-e (within a few hairs of actual dx of it according to 24hr urine test, protien on urinalysis at most appts beyond 30 weeks, higher then normal bp which for me is usually 110/70, etc.). i am not an MD or trained midwife but i do believe that Dr. Brewer had good results, my midwives who had both been doing thier jobs for over 20 yrs believed in this diet as well. i personally wouldnt completely discount it possibly helping prevent problems. could there be a million other possible contributing factors into what causes pre-e? of course. but diet is one thing that women can control for. my midwives didnt emphasize brewer's exact diet, but suggested a minimum of 100 grams protien per day coming from meat, mostly. obviously this wouldnt be doable for ardent vegetarians. i ended up with a good birth and a completely healthy baby, but having the potential of pre-e was scary. i dont think it could hurt to try eating adequate protien and avoiding processed foods.
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#14 of 24 Old 07-23-2010, 04:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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with my daughter, who is now almost two, i came very close to full blown pre-e (within a few hairs of actual dx of it according to 24hr urine test, protien on urinalysis at most appts beyond 30 weeks, higher then normal bp which for me is usually 110/70, etc.). i am not an MD or trained midwife but i do believe that Dr. Brewer had good results, my midwives who had both been doing thier jobs for over 20 yrs believed in this diet as well. i personally wouldnt completely discount it possibly helping prevent problems. could there be a million other possible contributing factors into what causes pre-e? of course. but diet is one thing that women can control for. my midwives didnt emphasize brewer's exact diet, but suggested a minimum of 100 grams protien per day coming from meat, mostly. obviously this wouldnt be doable for ardent vegetarians. i ended up with a good birth and a completely healthy baby, but having the potential of pre-e was scary. i dont think it could hurt to try eating adequate protien and avoiding processed foods.
Okay, please excuse me as I climb up on my soapbox ...

I don't want to cause a big drama about the Brewer diet. I did say that I think that it provides great nutrition, and that I'm, in fact, following it again. Good nutrition, including around 100 grams of high-quality protein daily, is obviously very important in pregnancy.

I'm sorry to hear that you almost had pre-eclampsia with your first pregnancy. I nearly died of pre-eclampsia with my first pregnancy, and had a baby who weighed two pounds and spent almost 10 weeks in the NICU. I was following the Brewer Diet, and I actually never eat processed food (pregnant or not - it's bad for you)!

Since my pregnancy, I have done a lot of research on the Brewer Diet and talked to many people (including Maternal-Fetal Medicine specialists, who care for only high-risk women), and my findings from these sources have been that it does NOT prevent pre-e. I know that lots of midwives endorse it, and say it works for their patients. As we know, though, midwives care for low-risk women. If you have full-blown pre-eclampsia, or are showing signs of developing it, chances are you aren't being cared for by a midwife anymore. The doctors who do care for women who have or are at risk for developing pre-e - OB's and MFM's - agree that nutrition is incredibly important in pregnancy, but if you are going to develop pre-e, eating a high protein diet isn't going to stop it.

If you don't want to personally discount it totally, that's up to you. I certainly don't think it hurts, and gives you good nutrition, which builds healthy babies! My son's neonatologist has said to me at our subsequent visits that the reason my son did so well at the NICU was that I had taken such good care of myself when I was pregnant. That's been a big factor in my decision to follow the Brewer Diet again. I do not expect it to prevent pre-eclampsia, but I expect it to give my baby the healthiest start that I can. I follow it so if my baby is early, I know that I gave him or her the best nutrition and the best chances at being healthy that I could.

Here's a link to an outside message board run by the Preeclampsia Foundation talking about the Brewer Diet from the perspective of women who DID develop pre-e: http://www.preeclampsia.org/forum/to...?TOPIC_ID=9742. You'll see that lots of women share in feeling that the Brewer Diet blames women for developing pre-eclampsia, and see how many women have anecdotal evidence that it was ineffective.

I hope I've made my views and findings on the Brewer Diet clear. In any case, I'm climbing off my soapbox .

Kelley, lucky partner to my Canuck and momma to Peter Gwydion (9/08) whistling.gif, Eliot Theoden (2/11) sleepytime.gif, and Harper Ophelia (m/c 6/12) rainbow1284.gif . We breastfeed exclusively, cosleep peacefully, vax selectively, homeschool joyously, and love each other unconditionally! luxlove.gif 
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#15 of 24 Old 07-23-2010, 04:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've been lurking and reading and decided to post- I'll be considered high-risk because of my many DCs and GD in the last 2. I've decided to refuse the gluclose test this time around (I'm already monitoring my blood sugars and diet) and think giving someone who has a history of GD a drink equal to 4 candy bars (and doesn't usually even eat one) highly stupid () and if I don't have it already it would just push me over the top! lol So far though my sugars have been really good and I've been able to identify foods that I know will cause an issue later and when somethings are ok to eat (during the day) and when to avoid them all together.

It is nice to have others to support you. I do have one that came a bit early- 34 wker (my water broke but for no appearant reason- and labor would not start for 2 days). He spent just a week in the NICU learning to suck and has not had any issues since. We were very lucky and I'm so grateful for that. Funny but his birth alone doesn't put in a high risk catogory though- since there was no other problems and the best reason anyone can come up with is he pulled hard enough to rupture them himself. (And if you knew him then and now you'd think so too! )

So I'm here and I hope I can be supportive too- but I don't have any exp w/pre-e. But have lots of hugs!


(Oh and a side note this was my 1000 post! )
Thanks so much for sharing, Mama! I didn't mean for this to just be devoted to pre-e (although I've been really glad to find some other Mamas who are in a similar boat to me - hopefully some more with GD experience will show up, too!).

I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, but I would think that monitoring blood sugar constantly is better than a one-shot deal with that gross sugary drink. GD is definitely one you can control through diet and careful monitoring, right? I'm not too familiar - enlighten me !

Kelley, lucky partner to my Canuck and momma to Peter Gwydion (9/08) whistling.gif, Eliot Theoden (2/11) sleepytime.gif, and Harper Ophelia (m/c 6/12) rainbow1284.gif . We breastfeed exclusively, cosleep peacefully, vax selectively, homeschool joyously, and love each other unconditionally! luxlove.gif 
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#16 of 24 Old 07-23-2010, 04:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm a high-risk mama as well. Mum of two preemies, 23 and 30 weeks. 23 weeker died after almost 6 weeks.
I had HELLP last pregnancy (pre-e, that developed into HELLP) and had to have an emergency c-section in the middle of the night when my placenta ruptured. (I was in the hospital.)
We've also had losses now, so it's been a rough ride to get here.
And, we have a very sick 6.5 yo., and even though it's not genetic, we're scared of having another severe SN child.

So this is an emotional roller coaster ride. But they are taking good care of me, and I have plenty of follow-ups. As often as I need really, I can just call the hospital if something is up.
We're going for a VBAC, and I really hope I can get to 37 weeks at least.
Pixie, I had no idea what a roller coaster you've been on. Wow. I'm glad to hear you have good care, and plenty of follow-ups, and we over at the Ophelia household are thinking of you and littlePopcorn! Having good doctors (and easy access to them) has made a huge difference for my peace of mind - I love that I can call the hospital any time and talk to someone if I need to. I miss having a midwife, but I'm so glad to have OB's who I have easy access to, and I'm also glad that they're really experts on high risk pregnancies.

I'll also be breathing a huge sigh of relief at 37 weeks. Here's hoping for VBAC's all around .

Kelley, lucky partner to my Canuck and momma to Peter Gwydion (9/08) whistling.gif, Eliot Theoden (2/11) sleepytime.gif, and Harper Ophelia (m/c 6/12) rainbow1284.gif . We breastfeed exclusively, cosleep peacefully, vax selectively, homeschool joyously, and love each other unconditionally! luxlove.gif 
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#17 of 24 Old 07-23-2010, 05:29 PM
 
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About the diet discussion over here, if you would like to discuss it more, I suggest starting another thread about it, please. So this can be what it's meant to be.


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Pixie, I had no idea what a roller coaster you've been on. Wow. I'm glad to hear you have good care, and plenty of follow-ups, and we over at the Ophelia household are thinking of you and littlePopcorn! Having good doctors (and easy access to them) has made a huge difference for my peace of mind - I love that I can call the hospital any time and talk to someone if I need to. I miss having a midwife, but I'm so glad to have OB's who I have easy access to, and I'm also glad that they're really experts on high risk pregnancies.

I'll also be breathing a huge sigh of relief at 37 weeks. Here's hoping for VBAC's all around .
Thank you!
And yes, it's a huge relief to have the experts at the hospital available for me anytime.
Right now I actually think that I might get a baby in the end, and that is a good feeling. But it'll be a tough pregnancy.
Why don't you have a midwife btw? If you don't mind me asking.
I do, I go to her just because I really like having a midwife who is an expert on the whole pregnancy/birth thing. (I don't even really want to go to my GP.) I think my midwife and the hospital will be my main sources for follow-ups, if I go once a month to each of them now this early (probably more often later on), I'll have follow-ups every 2 weeks and that will probably keep me calm. (I said probably. )

-pixie, my dear, and (A-88), N-98, Littlest-06/00-08/00, J-03 & Little Miss Cotton Ball Button-03 (SN), S-05, Hope-loss 09/09, Bean-loss 04/10, and littlePopcorn due feb. 8th -11.
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#18 of 24 Old 07-23-2010, 08:29 PM
 
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GD is definitely one you can control through diet and careful monitoring, right? I'm not too familiar - enlighten me !
It does depend on the person- I was able to control it w/diet the 1st time around but not last time, and was on glyburide (a pill, not insulin). Excercise is very important, but every hard for me (time wise) and I'm thinking this time migth be harder since its winter baby and I'm MN were it's gets cold early . I'm doing some big carb cutting and watching to see what foods trigger spikes. It'll be interesting and hard and I just want to get through this w/o drugs!
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#19 of 24 Old 07-24-2010, 11:55 PM
 
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Awesome on planning the HB, Mama! Will it be a VBAC (I don't want to make assumptions)? I would love to have a HB this time around, and my midwife from last time is totally amenable to hearing from me at 36 weeks (or me calling and saying, "JEN I'M IN LABOR!" Well, maybe not that amenable ). For me it takes getting over some strong anxiety, which I bet will happen as my pregnancy progresses and is healthy. Hoping hard for you that you get some easier drugs - I also had mag, and it is a TOTAL b*tch.

It's great to have some fellow NICU-veteran Mamas here, too. Do you guys find that you're kind of planning your NICU stay, in the back of your head? I know that I want to get a sheepskin for baby to lie on in the isolette, for instance. It's so weird, because I'm not doing much planning of home stuff - but I think a lot about what I would want with our NICU stay. Maybe I should start looking into HBAC and planning that for something positive to focus on!!
I was lucky enough to have both of my babies vaginally. I even managed to forgo a TON of stuff for the birth of my son. I didn't have EFM or an IV (though I did have to have the hep lock just in case) and I got to hold him as soon as they'd looked him over and given him a blow by. I found that I am somehow LESS nervous after my second preemie. When I was pregnant with M I was soooo freaked out. And yeah, you sorta plan for how you're going to make it work. There is nothing harder than trying to care for a toddler and one in the NICU who you're trying to breastfeed. With my second nicu run, I remember there was a mom with a set of 36 week twins and she was just amazed at how relaxed I was, but this which is unthinkable for most women becomes routine for those who keep ending up in there.

I'm actually feeling oddly confident that I'll make it to term this time. However, this scares the crap out of me. But it's nice to plan for something new and different. Like the first time all over again... with more work and all your fears are legitimate... I'd say go for it though! You wouldn't believe the difference a positive attitude and baby related busy work makes on your pregnancy. Especially on bed rest.

Bri helpmeet to Chaise mama to K(2/07)  M(3/09) & A(2/11)

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#20 of 24 Old 07-25-2010, 05:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you!
And yes, it's a huge relief to have the experts at the hospital available for me anytime.
Right now I actually think that I might get a baby in the end, and that is a good feeling. But it'll be a tough pregnancy.
Why don't you have a midwife btw? If you don't mind me asking.
I do, I go to her just because I really like having a midwife who is an expert on the whole pregnancy/birth thing. (I don't even really want to go to my GP.) I think my midwife and the hospital will be my main sources for follow-ups, if I go once a month to each of them now this early (probably more often later on), I'll have follow-ups every 2 weeks and that will probably keep me calm. (I said probably. )
I think a positive outlook is so helpful, corny as it seems (and impossible as it seems sometimes!). Do you do much exercising? I find that when I'm anxious, or stressed about the possibility of this pregnancy being more than I can handle, a nice long walk does wonders. I'll never admit it to my husband, though - I've told him that the only reason he likes taking walks so much is that he's Canadian . I've also just gotten a Meditation for Beginners DVD from Netflix. I'll make sure to post here if it's any good - I've never had much success meditating, but would love to do things to keep my stress as low as possible, because I sometimes don't feel up to how tough I know this pregnancy thing can be .

I guess I kind of have a midwife on backup! Right now I'm seeing an OB because I officially have "chronic hypertension" since my pregnancy with DS, so I need meds for my blood pressure. I'm also doing it largely to appease my MFM, who is amazingly wonderful - he says, for instance, that doulas are a necessary part of obstetrics. Very cool guy, and also a wonderful doctor! I talked to him about my having a midwife for the pregnancy and him for the hypertension, and he said he was more comfortable with my having an OB. I'll do anything to keep him, because I really love him and trust him so much, and I feel like we really lucked out by finding a progressive MFM who describes himself as "crunchy granola."

I've been in contact with my midwife, though, who is totally cool with me taking it a trimester at a time and coming to her in the second or third if everything's going well and we want to go ahead with a homebirth. So I guess I kind of have a midwife! Although I don't know if the new ACOG recommendations will change their attitude, the official stance at my OB's hospital is that VBAC is not allowed - it's the one thing I really don't like about him, and it's unfortunate, because he's very progressive in many ways. Probably, if I'm at term and still comfortable and healthy, I'll say, "Okay, we can do a c-section, but not until I've gone into labor on my own," and then I'll have a homebirth and say, "Oh, labor just progressed really fast! Have you met my friend Jen? Cause she's not a midwife or anything. Just my friend. With access to Pitocin and oxygen. And who gave my baby the Vitamin K shot."

Right now, I do miss having a midwife as my primary care sometimes, like when they want me to sign informed consent at the OB's office at my 8 week visit for things like an episiotomy or c-section at a healthy, term birth, but ultimately I think I'm more comfortable with an OB watching me. Last time there were signs of pre-e developing that got missed by my midwife. I like that he's the OB who took care of me when I got pre-e, too, because I feel like he knows me really, really well in that regard. It's comforting that he's brought me through it healthy and whole once - if we end up needing to go through it again, I'll be glad that I'm there with him and that he's been with me through the whole pregnancy.

Sheesh, excuse the novel . Is your MW a part of a practice, or does she work on her own? If there were a MW as part of this practice, I'd want to be seeing her - as it is, it's all OB's, but as I said, they're good ones.

Kelley, lucky partner to my Canuck and momma to Peter Gwydion (9/08) whistling.gif, Eliot Theoden (2/11) sleepytime.gif, and Harper Ophelia (m/c 6/12) rainbow1284.gif . We breastfeed exclusively, cosleep peacefully, vax selectively, homeschool joyously, and love each other unconditionally! luxlove.gif 
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#21 of 24 Old 07-25-2010, 06:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was lucky enough to have both of my babies vaginally. I even managed to forgo a TON of stuff for the birth of my son. I didn't have EFM or an IV (though I did have to have the hep lock just in case) and I got to hold him as soon as they'd looked him over and given him a blow by. I found that I am somehow LESS nervous after my second preemie. When I was pregnant with M I was soooo freaked out. And yeah, you sorta plan for how you're going to make it work. There is nothing harder than trying to care for a toddler and one in the NICU who you're trying to breastfeed. With my second nicu run, I remember there was a mom with a set of 36 week twins and she was just amazed at how relaxed I was, but this which is unthinkable for most women becomes routine for those who keep ending up in there.

I'm actually feeling oddly confident that I'll make it to term this time. However, this scares the crap out of me. But it's nice to plan for something new and different. Like the first time all over again... with more work and all your fears are legitimate... I'd say go for it though! You wouldn't believe the difference a positive attitude and baby related busy work makes on your pregnancy. Especially on bed rest.
Wow, you ARE lucky! I had assumed that there was no way a 27-weeker could be vaginal. Yay! Now I know differently .

Yeah, we're already thinking, "Okay, could we get the old apartment we rented close to the NICU? Could we hire a nanny so that I could go in alone every day for a couple hours?" I was really grateful during our NICU time for the relaxed Mom who'd been there for a couple of weeks already - and grateful when I could be that Mom for others! I know that a NICU experience would be different this time around, since every baby is different, but I feel much more equipped to deal with it, obviously. I'm also lucky that my son is still nursing a couple times a day and seems to show no signs of stopping. It should make getting milk in and establishing breastfeeding for new baby easier if new baby is early, which is a big deal for me!

Since reading your post, I'm allowing myself to be a bit more positive and think about what kind of birth I'd like to have . And, you know, I'm starting to be cautiously excited! I'm so hopeful for all of us having the pregnancies and births that we are dreaming of <3.

Kelley, lucky partner to my Canuck and momma to Peter Gwydion (9/08) whistling.gif, Eliot Theoden (2/11) sleepytime.gif, and Harper Ophelia (m/c 6/12) rainbow1284.gif . We breastfeed exclusively, cosleep peacefully, vax selectively, homeschool joyously, and love each other unconditionally! luxlove.gif 
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#22 of 24 Old 07-25-2010, 06:39 PM
 
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I think a positive outlook is so helpful, corny as it seems (and impossible as it seems sometimes!). Do you do much exercising? I find that when I'm anxious, or stressed about the possibility of this pregnancy being more than I can handle, a nice long walk does wonders. I'll never admit it to my husband, though - I've told him that the only reason he likes taking walks so much is that he's Canadian . I've also just gotten a Meditation for Beginners DVD from Netflix. I'll make sure to post here if it's any good - I've never had much success meditating, but would love to do things to keep my stress as low as possible, because I sometimes don't feel up to how tough I know this pregnancy thing can be .
Oh, yes, I am very sure a positive outlook is important. We have a very positive outlook on life in general. We've really learned the hard way with loosing our middle daughter and then having a severe SN child. It teaches you a lot about life, and enjoying the small things, and all the time you have together. So it comes natural for me, which I'm glad.
I'm only allowed to swim now. Usually I exercise at least two mornings a week, running some miles at the gym, doing cardio, or weights or something. I love working out, and usually am pretty dependant of it. It's my outlet! Now I swim. It's not the same as my running. But at lest I'm working out a little. And I walk a lot. And I do yoga and QiGong at home, almost every day. QiGong has some relaxing stuff that really gets me in tune with myself, being inside me, and really relaxing completely and gathering energy and strength. So I love that.

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I guess I kind of have a midwife on backup! Right now I'm seeing an OB because I officially have "chronic hypertension" since my pregnancy with DS, so I need meds for my blood pressure. I'm also doing it largely to appease my MFM, who is amazingly wonderful - he says, for instance, that doulas are a necessary part of obstetrics. Very cool guy, and also a wonderful doctor! I talked to him about my having a midwife for the pregnancy and him for the hypertension, and he said he was more comfortable with my having an OB. I'll do anything to keep him, because I really love him and trust him so much, and I feel like we really lucked out by finding a progressive MFM who describes himself as "crunchy granola."

I've been in contact with my midwife, though, who is totally cool with me taking it a trimester at a time and coming to her in the second or third if everything's going well and we want to go ahead with a homebirth. So I guess I kind of have a midwife! Although I don't know if the new ACOG recommendations will change their attitude, the official stance at my OB's hospital is that VBAC is not allowed - it's the one thing I really don't like about him, and it's unfortunate, because he's very progressive in many ways. Probably, if I'm at term and still comfortable and healthy, I'll say, "Okay, we can do a c-section, but not until I've gone into labor on my own," and then I'll have a homebirth and say, "Oh, labor just progressed really fast! Have you met my friend Jen? Cause she's not a midwife or anything. Just my friend. With access to Pitocin and oxygen. And who gave my baby the Vitamin K shot."

Right now, I do miss having a midwife as my primary care sometimes, like when they want me to sign informed consent at the OB's office at my 8 week visit for things like an episiotomy or c-section at a healthy, term birth, but ultimately I think I'm more comfortable with an OB watching me. Last time there were signs of pre-e developing that got missed by my midwife. I like that he's the OB who took care of me when I got pre-e, too, because I feel like he knows me really, really well in that regard. It's comforting that he's brought me through it healthy and whole once - if we end up needing to go through it again, I'll be glad that I'm there with him and that he's been with me through the whole pregnancy.

Sheesh, excuse the novel . Is your MW a part of a practice, or does she work on her own? If there were a MW as part of this practice, I'd want to be seeing her - as it is, it's all OB's, but as I said, they're good ones.
I'm not in the US, and the system here is VERY different.
Most pregnant women go to their GP's during pregnancy, and most also go to a midwife. Usually every other time or so. And it doesn't matter if they are high or low risk. The high-risk group also has special follow ups of course, at the hospital, but that is in addition. And there are specialist doctors at the hospital that takes care of the high-risk group (whatever they are high-risk for).
And the MW's are concidered the specialists on normal pregnancies and birth here, and also they have a high education, which includes a lot of complications. They are the ones that delivers babies here, at the hospitals or at home. The only time a doc (OBGYN) comes into the picture here at a birth is if there are complications like they need meds, or the baby's heart rate is too low for too long, or actually if it's a breech baby the MW will deliver until the belly button, and then a OBGYN will deliver the rest.
So I don't know if MW education is the same here as in the US. They have to take nursing school first (3 years), and then 2 years after that in addition.

The midwives we pregnant women use are a part of a health center, kinda, that does prenatal care for pregnant women, and then have the babies for well-baby visits after that. There is a doctor there, because a couple of the well-baby visits include a quick check up with a doc. The MW's does not do the well-baby's btw, there is a special education to do those (shorter than MW).
That is also where you go to vax your child if you want to do that.
It's an optional thing, btw, the well-baby's there. You can choose to or not. We usually go only to keep track of their weight and length and head growth. At all the well-baby's there is a group of mothers and kids the same age. So it's a place to meet other mum's with babies the same age as yours that live close. But I mostly just ignore it, because they are SO mainstream, most of those.
Anyway, my MW is there.

All prenatal care here is also free (so is birth, and the well-baby's, and in general all health care for kids). So I don't really mind going to the MW, GP and the hospital. I probably won't go much to my GP though, kinda clueless.
And here, you are actually expected to give birth vaginally after a c-section. You have to have really good, strong medical reasons for getting a c-section, and the docs decide. They do not give them out like candy (I have a feeling they do in the US).
You are even expected to give birth vaginally after two c-sections normally.
It's just a totally different pregnancy/birthing climat.
(You know, take out the money part, and lots of issues would go away in the US too.)
They (hospitals, docs, OBGYN's, MW's etc.) are very much about no interventions. Unless it's absolutely an emergency/medically necessary.

I know how much it means to have a doc who you trust though. My specialist doc at the hospital gave me the sadest news at my first follow-up this time. He is retiring in september. I blurted out "No, but you can't!" and he laughed. I trust him completely, he had me the last time as well. He always makes me feel so safe, and taken care of. I just calm down when I see him. He does everything to make me feel safe. He is so warm and caring. And now he won't get to see me past september. Sad stuff.
He did promise me that the specialist doc lady taking over for him is very competent and trust worthy, that she is 50+ so she has tons of experience, and that he left me in good hands. All three of us are meeting at the end of august for the "handing over" apt.
No, but it was important for me to have him there too, because that is when we are setting up the rest of the line here, how often we are having controls etc. And he is the one I trust. So I need him to weigh in on it.
I do have an open door at the hospital also, and it actually works, I had to test it earlier this week and they welcomed me with open arms and helped. That also calmed me down a lot.

Heh, and you are talking about a novel?! I'm terrible at keeping it short.

-pixie, my dear, and (A-88), N-98, Littlest-06/00-08/00, J-03 & Little Miss Cotton Ball Button-03 (SN), S-05, Hope-loss 09/09, Bean-loss 04/10, and littlePopcorn due feb. 8th -11.
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#23 of 24 Old 07-25-2010, 06:40 PM
 
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Wow, you ARE lucky! I had assumed that there was no way a 27-weeker could be vaginal. Yay! Now I know differently .
My 23 weeker was a vaginal birth.

-pixie, my dear, and (A-88), N-98, Littlest-06/00-08/00, J-03 & Little Miss Cotton Ball Button-03 (SN), S-05, Hope-loss 09/09, Bean-loss 04/10, and littlePopcorn due feb. 8th -11.
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#24 of 24 Old 07-25-2010, 10:26 PM
 
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Wow, you ARE lucky! I had assumed that there was no way a 27-weeker could be vaginal. Yay! Now I know differently .
Well, I had a pretty surprise labor. It wasn't because of Pre-e or anything so I was allowed to labor relatively naturally, once they stopped the magnesium drip. (I'd developed some pulmonary edema) K had actually worked her way past the cervix before anyone realized I'd gone back into *active* labor. I was on my hands and knees when a nurse came to check on me and she ran to get the doctor. Nobody had really warned me about anything and I was only 19, so I just quietly labored assuming that my contractions weren't as bad as I thought they were and I shouldn't say anything because they'd think I was a wimp.

I'm not allowing myself to prepare for a preemie this time. Though I do live oh so conveniently close to my aunt and the hospital if the situation were to arise, so I don't have to stress. And I sometimes wonder if I should have a plan for how to get both kids watched and to the classes they'll be starting in September... But I know DH would work it all out if I couldn't. We'd just stop sleeping... hehe.

Good for you for getting optimistic! Everyone should plan for the birth they want. I think positive visualization and prayer can make things possible. And stress would only make pregnancy harder.

Bri helpmeet to Chaise mama to K(2/07)  M(3/09) & A(2/11)

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