U/S Tech told me the gender... I didn't want to know :( - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 21 Old 09-08-2010, 09:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I went yesterday to meet a new OB (who I ended up liking very much). At the end of the consultation I asked her to do a heartbeat check since I hadn't had one in 5 weeks and still haven't felt movement. I've had 2 m/c's and was starting ot get nervous. She couldn't pick up on a heartbeat with the doppler thing so she sent me to have a quick u/s check. I was freaking out (on the inside... I remained cool on the outside) because at 16 wks I thought she should be able to find a heartbeat with no problem.

The u/s showed a healthy baby (thank goodness) and an anterior placenta. I guess that exaplins why I haven't felt any movement and they have trouble getting a heartbeat.

And then the tech moved the wand and looked and said "It's early, but I think it's a girl."

AHHH! We didn't want to know. We wanted this one to be a surprise

She was very nice and very sweet so I didn't say anything about it. DH and I are really disappointed though. I mean, its fine that its a girl, we aren't disappointed about that (I felt strongly like it was a girl anyway). It's just... I knew with the other two kids and this time I was ready for the big moment of annoucement.

Oh well. I guess I should have spoke up sooner. I saw her look between the legs and I hesitated before opening my mouth.

Corrie, "trad" Catholic, wife to DH and Mom to DD (4/07), DS (2/09), DD (2/11), DD (4/13), two angel babies. 
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#2 of 21 Old 09-08-2010, 10:01 AM
 
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bummer sorry! but hurray for a healthy baby girl!

Mom to K and R

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#3 of 21 Old 09-08-2010, 10:02 AM
 
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I'm sorry. It is frustrating and inconsiderate that any tech would say without asking. And, it isn't something that anyone can take back. However nice and sweet she was, I would definitely tell the tech or the doctor. I think you can tell them that you really liked the tech, however you were disappointed to find out the gender. That may help another mom from having the same experience. Again, sorry you found out in a way you didn't want to...happy baby is well.

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#4 of 21 Old 09-08-2010, 10:42 AM
 
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oh my goodness, i cant believe she didn't ask you before announcing the gender! how very unprofessional. i am so sorry your surprise was ruined.

~ sarah
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#5 of 21 Old 09-08-2010, 11:09 AM
 
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I'm so sorry this happened. I'm pretty pyscho about NOT finding out, so before I let them even put the gel on my stomach, I make my "We DO NOT want to find out the gender. Do not make any indication if you can tell". And I ask them if they are going to look at all or just move by that area.

I have my US tomorrow and I'm stressed about the tech spilling the beans...

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#6 of 21 Old 09-08-2010, 11:22 AM
 
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Oh I'm afraid of the same thing happening for us, we don't want to know.

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#7 of 21 Old 09-08-2010, 11:29 AM
 
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I'm so sorry that happened!! I'm worried about the same thing happening to me next week.

Since you already probably know, are you going to be able to confirm it with another u/s? If it were me, I wouldn't be able to get "girl" out of my head and if I'm definitely planning on one gender, I think a birth surprise would be tough.

Is there any way you can keep it a big secret and still have a big announcement at the birth to everyone besides you and your dh? You could still say, "We're not planning on finding out." You didn't PLAN to find out, but I guess it's not totally honest. But maybe a forgivable half-truth?

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Claire b. 6/29/06 and Andrew b. 4/20/08 and #3 due 2/8/11!!
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#8 of 21 Old 09-08-2010, 12:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cagnew View Post
I went yesterday to meet a new OB (who I ended up liking very much). At the end of the consultation I asked her to do a heartbeat check since I hadn't had one in 5 weeks and still haven't felt movement. I've had 2 m/c's and was starting ot get nervous. She couldn't pick up on a heartbeat with the doppler thing so she sent me to have a quick u/s check. I was freaking out (on the inside... I remained cool on the outside) because at 16 wks I thought she should be able to find a heartbeat with no problem.

The u/s showed a healthy baby (thank goodness) and an anterior placenta. I guess that exaplins why I haven't felt any movement and they have trouble getting a heartbeat.

And then the tech moved the wand and looked and said "It's early, but I think it's a girl."

AHHH! We didn't want to know. We wanted this one to be a surprise

She was very nice and very sweet so I didn't say anything about it. DH and I are really disappointed though. I mean, its fine that its a girl, we aren't disappointed about that (I felt strongly like it was a girl anyway). It's just... I knew with the other two kids and this time I was ready for the big moment of annoucement.

Oh well. I guess I should have spoke up sooner. I saw her look between the legs and I hesitated before opening my mouth.
well i would never take the techs word for it anyway, i know way too many people who were told one sex then had the other. next u/s just tell them you dont want to know and that tech needs be told she shouldnt disclose the sex until confirming that the mother actually wants to know
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#9 of 21 Old 09-08-2010, 01:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have never had trouble with a tech telling me before. With dd I asked her to write it down and put it in an envelope so DH and I could find out together (we wanted to know the sex). With the second, my DH didnt want to know, but I kind of did. I told the tech not to tell me, but to scan the "area" so I could watch the dvd later and make my own guess based on the u/s. I had fun with that and guessed correctly.

So for those of you who haven't gone yet, don't worry. Tell them right away and you probably won't have any trouble at all. They are usually preally good about it.

And we aren't going to be telling anyone we know the sex. We are kind of going on pretending we don't know. After all, she could have been wrong. 16 weeks is still early to determine with certainty that its a girl.

In the end, I am just thankful to know that the baby is fine!

Corrie, "trad" Catholic, wife to DH and Mom to DD (4/07), DS (2/09), DD (2/11), DD (4/13), two angel babies. 
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#10 of 21 Old 09-08-2010, 01:55 PM
 
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Congrats on a healthy baby! Bummer about finding out by accident. I worry this will happen to me next week!

Amy, happily married to my Sweetie Pie partners.gif, Grateful for all my Blessings, in love with my rainbow1284.gifbaby.gif
 
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#11 of 21 Old 09-08-2010, 03:20 PM
 
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I was going to write what Debra said. Congrats on your baby girl though!

Janette - Mama to Adrianna born 2.27.07 and expecting another 2.17.11
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#12 of 21 Old 09-08-2010, 06:21 PM
 
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What?!?! is this tech NEW!!!!???? You should never tell someone something like that without asking first!!!!

Congrats on the girl but she was right, it is early, so it might still be a bit of a mystery.

Wife of the husbandit and mommy to the wonderful G-Mack, born 1/30/2011
 
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#13 of 21 Old 09-08-2010, 06:24 PM
 
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That sucks. I always made sure before that wand touched my stomach to tell them to not even look at the gender because I did not want to know. They dont even need to check the genitals during a u/s.

 
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#14 of 21 Old 09-08-2010, 07:38 PM
 
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Sorry that the tech told you, they should have asked first. But, I also think you could have said something at the start as well, to cover your bases, since it was really important to you. I know others are worried as well, don't worry! It's not rude to say "Hey! We want the sex to be a surprise! "

Mom to a 2.5 girlie and a new one in late February/early March
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#15 of 21 Old 09-08-2010, 09:43 PM
 
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What a bummer. Congrats on the girl though. It is still early to go painting the nursery though...

Bri helpmeet to Chaise mama to K(2/07)  M(3/09) & A(2/11)

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#16 of 21 Old 09-08-2010, 10:25 PM
 
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I'm really sorry! Of course, it is really early, so I wouldn't take it as gospel just yet. But in any case, I'm sorry she stole your thunder like that

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#17 of 21 Old 09-09-2010, 12:46 AM
 
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Sorry that happened- I would have said something. I too am psycho about not finding out.
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#18 of 21 Old 09-09-2010, 08:28 AM
 
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This is my biggest worry about going for an u/s. I plan on telling the tech before sitting down, and making a BIG deal out of it.

I'm so sorry that that happened to you.

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#19 of 21 Old 09-09-2010, 02:00 PM
 
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So I had my US this morning and as I was checking in, I saw my folder and in big letters on the front it read "CLIENT DOES NOT WANT TO KNOW GENDER".
I guess they do that for all people who don't want to know.
So I mentioned it to the tech and she was fine, and then the Dr came in and of course I said it and he said they won't look unless it's medically necessary (like a genetic disease passed to certain sexes) unless the client asks.
So I didn't find out, yay.

Michelle ~
Mama to ~ Finnegan(10/06) ~ Samuel (7/08) ~ Henry (2/11) ~ He's here! joy.gif Baxter (11/12)

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#20 of 21 Old 09-09-2010, 02:38 PM
 
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I am sorry this happened to you. Being a part of the medical community as a RN though I see a lot of this happening to people. It seems as though those who do not want to know are so "rare" that we just all "assume" that everyone wants to know everything. Problem is that assuming only does one thing....inevitably it hurts feelings. So sorry you had to go through this. Congrats on your daughter though!!!!
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#21 of 21 Old 09-09-2010, 05:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all the congrats

Corrie, "trad" Catholic, wife to DH and Mom to DD (4/07), DS (2/09), DD (2/11), DD (4/13), two angel babies. 
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