screamin in the car - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 03-27-2011, 09:51 AM - Thread Starter
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nak so it'll be brief.


babe takes my pinky and is relatively calm when dh is driving...meaning cries off & on


if i drive...he's screaming bloody murder ...sometimes will fall asleep, sometimes quiet for few moments then start crying again. 


don't want to use a pacifier... i talk to him, sing to him, pat his head...


anybody else dealing or dealt with this? ideas? it's so sad...just breaks my heart!

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#2 of 11 Old 03-27-2011, 01:21 PM
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Yeah, the hating the car stage is one I'm dreading - it took a full year after DS stopped to stop having a racing heart pulling up to a red light.


White noise, shushing, singing, and loud music can help.

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#3 of 11 Old 03-27-2011, 03:15 PM
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Yep we're dealing with that too. So far my solution is to avoid driving anywhere. I do have to get groceries now and again though and have just had to deal with it. It's so stressful, even for a 10 minute drive.


My other possible solutions are:


Set him in the car seat in the house for short periods so he gets used to being in it

Go for short rides to get him used to being in the car

Change car seats (I also have a convertible & another bucket I can try)


I've tried shushing, loud music and a soother, he won't take it, nothing helps. My ds hated his car seat til he was 3months and dd hated hers for a year so i don't know if anything will work. I have heard of people getting chiropractic help for it so that's maybe another option.


I would like to go to my SIL baby shower in 2 wks and it's a 1.5hr drive and for Easter we want to visit our extended family 2 hrs away so I'm hoping something gives before then!

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#4 of 11 Old 03-27-2011, 03:38 PM
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In my circle of friends carseats are jokingly called "baby torture devices." We were minimizing DS's trips...which got easier when the axle on our van broke last week. Riding the bus in the sling he minds not at all. femalesling.GIF


I did introduce the pacifier today...and DS actually fell asleep NOT on a person and stayed that way...for an hour now. Yay! He'd been nursing about half the time all day with no real nap. (I don't like using the sling in the house, and our pattern has become sit and nurse, DS fall asleep, lay him down, have 5 minutes to do something else, DS wakes up, we do a burp and diaper check then sit and nurse, repeat).

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#5 of 11 Old 03-27-2011, 06:38 PM
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Julian quiets right down when we start music.  Anyhing will do but he loves the songs I played a lot during preganacy!

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#6 of 11 Old 03-28-2011, 06:07 AM
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That's so hard. I don't really have any advice because we use a paci for the carseat but for a while I had to ride in the backseat and attend to baby while daddy drove. Do u not use a paci because of LAM or do you just not want to use a paci? I had totally made up my mind to not use a paci before she was born but now she of course uses one (grrrr...dang it!). I have made up my mind though, that as soon as she starts teething its GONE! She really only uses it if she is having trouble falling back to sleep in the middle of the night. For some reason she doesn't fall asleep when she nurses...just dozes off for a minute and then has to babble to herself and wave her arms around for about 15 minutes like she's talking to her invisible friend before falling back to sleep. Silly girl orngtongue.gif


At least you aren't one of those mommies that tote their babies around in the carseat carrier everywhere and never carry them. That always bothers me.



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#7 of 11 Old 03-28-2011, 09:19 AM - Thread Starter
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baileyb--i'm not sure what LAM is...but i just don't want to use one, i just don't want to get babe attached to a thing that means withdrawal later. i also have a stepdaughter who still sucks on one at 6 and i'm probably a bit against it for that too. i'd rather he get that comfort from me. hopefully this passes soon. but i have heard all kinds of time ranges. luckily it's not everyday that i need to drive by myself!


as for the babe always in the car seat...that bothers me too! in fact we took the kind you can't carry around with you like that because i didn't want to deal with carrying it! i'd much rather carry the just looks like a back-breaker to carry around!


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#8 of 11 Old 03-29-2011, 05:17 PM
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Thankfully, Mazie seems to be ok in the car most of the time. It really helps that she has her fabulous big sister right next to her to keep her company. smile.gif It's so much harder when it's your first, and they're alone back there crying inconsolably. With #2 and #3 we skipped the infant (bucket) seats, but we did have one with #1. Because it was a lot shorter than a convertible, I was able to reach back and let her suck on the pinky of my right hand while driving with my left. Not very comfortable, but super helpful! I don't know what kind of car you have (ours was pretty small), but maybe you could find a bucket seat to borrow for awhile and see if you can reach Phoenix? Even when my pinky didn't keep Raina from crying, I was glad I could at least touch her and hold her hand.

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#9 of 11 Old 04-03-2011, 04:23 PM
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try tuning your FM station to one of those inbetween ones where it's really fuzzy and turn it way up! white noise may help. 

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#10 of 11 Old 04-04-2011, 05:43 AM
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This may be very controversial, but with our first (who screamed from the minute she got in the car until the minute she got out -- for MONTHS) we finally decided to put the carseat in the front with me.  Our car automatically turns off the airbags with a weight sensor.  It was a tricky balance, but I felt that between my stress level and the distraction (and body contortion), it was safer for her to be in the front seat.

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#11 of 11 Old 04-07-2011, 02:31 PM
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Yes, to everyone else's suggestions: singing, radio, etc. We also pump the brakes a bit at red lights to keep the car moving/bouncing. We tried to introduce a paci just for the car but they tend to lose it anyway and when you're driving you can't really help them find it. (For what it's worth though, both of my kids did take some comfort from the paci in the car occasionally and never really got into it otherwise - they were hardcore nursers through and through). We also limit car rides as much as possible.


And unfortunately, it didn't really get better until they were out of the bucket seats, and got better again when they were turned front facing (DS was turned too early because I didn't know better).


Silas has surprised us so far and is remarkably good about the car seat. He is 7 weeks and I've only experienced one drive where he didn't calm down as soon as the car was moving. I keep trying to remember how soon car seat hatred starts - I'm not ready to believe yet that he'll be ok with it. With the other two I remember just awful car rides!!


Sorry that you're dealing with that Ashley - it's really not fun.

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