The gender comments begin... - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 20 Old 08-29-2010, 02:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
Lousli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 4,365
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We have two girls. No matter what we have this time around, we are doomed with the comments, which have already started. My coworker, who has 2 boys and a girl, seems to think I don't understand boys (although I have been a teacher for 10 years) and when she sees me interact with the boys in my class (including her son) she smiled this really annoying snarky smile and says, "I hope you have a boy this time."

I've been asked already if I want a boy this time around, or I'm hoping for a boy, and I'm sure people are going to start asking if we are having another because we're trying for a boy. If we have another girl, I'm sure people will ask if we are going to "keep trying" for a boy. Argh.

And oh my heck, people act like my dh will be miserable if it isn't a boy, this time. He's not Henry VIII for crying out loud!

After two premature babies, all we want is a baby that makes it inside me to 37+ weeks. A healthy baby.
Lousli is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 20 Old 08-29-2010, 09:42 AM
 
StarCat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,440
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
dropping in here.... I have 2 girls as well and I am getting the same questions! At first it was bothering me but I know they all mean well. We love having girls and I think it would be really cool to have 3 girls and tell them so. But with that said I think it would be super special to have a boy, too. But nope we weren't 'trying' for a boy. Just a baby! I guess it will get more annoying the further along I am. Right now not as many people know.

Beccalove.gif mama to 2 girls and  IT'S A BOY!! 3/31/11 babyboy.gif
StarCat is offline  
#3 of 20 Old 08-29-2010, 11:21 AM
 
jcregan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 465
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
People like to have something like that to talk about and obsess about I think. with just one kid I am getting tons of gender questions already! I would just tell them what you said- you are not hoping for or trying for any gender, you simply tried for a baby and your main thoughts are for 37+ weeks.

Jcregan, Mom to DD 4yo. DS born 3/10/2011.winner.jpg  waterbirth.jpg   and trying cd.gif  for the first time.
jcregan is offline  
#4 of 20 Old 08-29-2010, 05:07 PM
 
MO_Bookwyrm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SE Missouri
Posts: 214
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
As soon as I announced my pregnancy, I was getting the gender question. Since we already have a boy, everyone asks, "Are you wanting a girl this time?" I swear those are the first words out of anyone's mouth.

Honestly, DH and I would like a girl, but we really don't care. Girl, boy, whatever...we really don't care.

Aleyna - Mom to 6 yo DS1 wild.gifRascal and DS2 Tiny born 03/24/11
MO_Bookwyrm is offline  
#5 of 20 Old 08-29-2010, 05:25 PM
 
Sandrine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,736
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I got that question too when I was pg of dd3. I'm sure that will also be the question that ppl will ask for this little one.

Also this question, ''weren't you done? or Are you done now? '' because the society doesn't see babies as blessing and we shouldn't have more than 1.5 or 2 children.

Sand, Mom to three girls and a new SON!!!!  babyboy.gif Born on March 7th, 2011  I get to do these again:   bfinfant.gifslingboy.gifcd.gif
Sandrine is offline  
#6 of 20 Old 08-29-2010, 05:41 PM
 
Banana731's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the wild Midwestern Woods...
Posts: 3,697
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
so in the same boat

Banana, doula wife to Papa Banana and mother to Banana One, Banana Two, Banana Three, Banana Four...

Banana731 is offline  
#7 of 20 Old 08-29-2010, 05:53 PM
 
pumpkinhead's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: The Great North
Posts: 4,308
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Popping in as well. I have 2 healthy, beautful boys and if I never have another child I will be blessed and content, but if I'm being completely honest with myself, I would love to have a girl. It doesn't mean that I love my boys any less and it doesn't mean that I have ever wished that either one of them had been a girl. Having one sex or another has never been high on the list of priorities while I was pregnant, but yeah, i`d still love to have a girl.

I think that some thoughts a better left inside a person's head and these comments, while well meaning, can be insensitive. My default response is "We're just hoping for a baby. We got it right twice so we're hoping it'll be 3 for 3".

Mama to Thing 1 and Thing 2.
pumpkinhead is offline  
#8 of 20 Old 08-29-2010, 06:05 PM
 
34me's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,457
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DDCC - My dh sooo wanted a house full of girls. He's a biologist and says that fathers pass down most of their genetic material through their daughters. Over the moon about #1 a girl, a little dissappounted about ds#1, and our tie breaker was another boy who is his spitting image
34me is offline  
#9 of 20 Old 08-30-2010, 01:59 AM
 
VeganCupcake's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 1,939
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm going to tell people we're hoping it's a puppy. :

Catherine, mama to Preschooler Girl 9/08, and Toddler Boy 3/11

VeganCupcake is offline  
#10 of 20 Old 08-30-2010, 02:21 AM
 
MamaLea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Denton, tx
Posts: 158
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We have 2 boys and everyone asks the same thing. I do want a girl honestly but if this baby is a boy I'll be thrilled. I just want a baby and a new child in our home to add to our circle of love. If we have all boys and end up with 5 someday, awesome! We'll buy a farm and put the to work. But it would be cool to have a girl too.

I'm going back and forth on finding out the sex too. I don't want to accidentally get my hopes up about it being a girl and then if it s boy have a tinge of sadness at the birth. I also don't know if I want to do that to my 4 year old. He has his own ideas of whether it's a boy or a girl and he gets easily hurt and I kind of want him to have time to adjust. But there's some thing so special and wonderful about not knowing the sex. Plus it drives everyone crazy and that cracks me up!

Mama Lea, grateful wife to and mom to Big Boy 10/04/06 and my little Sunshine boy 10/06/08 and surprise joining the bed sometime in March 2011
MamaLea is offline  
#11 of 20 Old 08-30-2010, 04:00 AM
 
gen_here's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,016
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We have one boy and one girl. So we've been getting a whole lot of "so it doesn't really matter what you have then, huh?" Like it would have mattered anyway?
gen_here is offline  
#12 of 20 Old 08-30-2010, 05:39 AM
 
MO_Bookwyrm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SE Missouri
Posts: 214
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaLea View Post
But there's some thing so special and wonderful about not knowing the sex. Plus it drives everyone crazy and that cracks me up!
I know! Isn't it great?! I don't think there has been one person at my job that is not absolutely flabbergasted when they find out we aren't planning an u/s just to find out the sex.

Aleyna - Mom to 6 yo DS1 wild.gifRascal and DS2 Tiny born 03/24/11
MO_Bookwyrm is offline  
#13 of 20 Old 08-30-2010, 04:12 PM
 
Aliy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Lower Mainland BC
Posts: 804
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
lol yup I get it from even random people who see me out with the boys.....

I just smile and nod. and It really does drive some people nuts about the whole not knowing... I really don't care. i just want another baby

SAHM to D ( 10/06 ) A (10/08) & C (03/11)
Aliy is offline  
#14 of 20 Old 08-30-2010, 08:27 PM
 
milosmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Douglasville, GA
Posts: 1,549
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by gen_here View Post
We have one boy and one girl. So we've been getting a whole lot of "so it doesn't really matter what you have then, huh?" Like it would have mattered anyway?

Yep, same.


We're also getting a lot of people SHOCKED that we're having another baby because we have one of each already.

---Jessica---Livin' my life from A Peace.gif(1/05 ) to Z  jammin.gif(4/08 ).....and z babyf.gif(3/11)

 

milosmomma is offline  
#15 of 20 Old 08-31-2010, 06:01 PM
 
gen_here's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,016
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by milosmomma View Post
We're also getting a lot of people SHOCKED that we're having another baby because we have one of each already.
My husband is a pastor, and we're in a great situation now (surrounded by homeschoolers, families with 6 kids or more, accepting and encouraging of our decisions, etc.). So we haven't had that here. But the place we left before this one, and the one before that, we got that all the time. In fact, at the first place, we got that right after my daughter was born - "Good, so now you can be done!"

Um, thanks for your opinion? Oh... and it doesn't matter at all.
gen_here is offline  
#16 of 20 Old 08-31-2010, 07:35 PM
 
Lyss's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 488
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by milosmomma View Post
Yep, same.


We're also getting a lot of people SHOCKED that we're having another baby because we have one of each already.
Us too. But people keep asking what we're hoping for. I think it's just something to say.

We ARE going to find out this time. We didn't find out with the other two until their births. People were REALLY irritated with us.

But we had the "It's a Girl!" and the "It's a Boy!" and then it was, "surprise, you're pregnant again!" and I think that's enough of a surprise for this pregnancy. I'm excited to find out so we can get rid of one kid's clothes. We have friends who could use the hand-me-downs.
Lyss is offline  
#17 of 20 Old 09-01-2010, 02:37 PM
 
BeanyMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Fort Worth, TX
Posts: 1,389
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Our first two are boys, so when we were expecting #3 the gender comments were particularly annoying. We loved the thought of having a little girl but didn't have such intense girl desires that I was going around wishing and hoping verbally and publicly to random people at the grocery. She is a girl and then all the "you finally got your girl!" comments were equally annoying. If she's been a boy we would have gotten our boy

With this one I've had a few comments assuming we want another girl to even it out 2 and 2. And it sounds so corny to say that I really just want a healthy baby, but it's truly the truth.

Mama to four ('03, '05, '08 & '11) chicken3.gif
BeanyMama is offline  
#18 of 20 Old 09-01-2010, 08:50 PM
 
artsy~mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 7
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by VeganCupcake View Post
I'm going to tell people we're hoping it's a puppy. :
^^OMG I love this...I may have to steal it next time!

I'm due 3/30/11 and I have a 2 1/2 yo son, so everyone in my family has already made it clear they're hoping for a girl...I'm like thanks guys, would another boy be really that bad? LOL! I mean I'd love to have a girl this time but I'd be perfectly happy with another boy too! Doesn't matter to me, just boggles my mind that it matters to other people more! And to STRANGERS! That's what gets me! LOL! I try not to let it bother me and just laugh it off.
artsy~mama is offline  
#19 of 20 Old 09-01-2010, 08:54 PM
 
beckyand3littlemonsters's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Leeds, England
Posts: 3,214
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by VeganCupcake View Post
I'm going to tell people we're hoping it's a puppy. :


or a kitten

Becky, sahm to angel.gif25/04/2000 Chloe 12/04/2002 Cameron 19/02/2004 Caitlin 28/06/2005 angel.gif24/07/2006 and Caden 14/03/2008

Xander 19/05/2011
angel.gif 19.05.2012 angel.gif 18.08.2012 angel.gif 24.05.2013 angel.gif 25.6.2013 belly.gif 04.09.2014 uc.jpg

beckyand3littlemonsters is offline  
#20 of 20 Old 09-03-2010, 02:03 PM
 
DanielleT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 255
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have two girls, and pregnant with my third child and we're really gett'n the gears almost like we have some control...I have three nieces on my side and my husband has six nieces on his side and there are no boys at all...so there's a lot of pressure and i know there will be dissappointment if this child isn't a boy but my dh and I will feel it will be a blessing either way...Hang in there!!
DanielleT is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off