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Old 11-28-2010, 06:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi, I was wondering if anyone else dreads the idea of a shower...

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Old 11-28-2010, 06:31 PM
 
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Well if anyone offers (assuming you don't get a surprise one) you could ask for a mother blessing instead.  That is what I did when a friend recently offered, no silly games and good wishes instead of birth horror stories.

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Old 11-28-2010, 08:57 PM
 
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I have a friend at work who is throwing me one at work.  I'm not one who likes to really be in the spotlight, so it makes me a little uncomfortable.  Plus, this is my second.  And while there will be almost 7 years between them, I don't want people to think I am being greedy and expecting things.

 

All that said, I know my friend really wants to do this for me and I'm letting her.  My discomfort is not a huge thing (for me), just enough to give me willies in my stomach. 


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Old 11-28-2010, 09:40 PM
 
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i have a shower after the baby is born.. that being said I doubt i'll be having on this time I really don't know many people here.

 

I'm not big on the silly games and the swarms of people and stuff


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Old 11-28-2010, 11:53 PM
 
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I have a friend who is insisting on throwing me a baby shower. I do feel a bit odd about it because this will be my second child in two years, though there are a few things I need because almost all the stuff I have if pink, and having a boy this time. I'm also not sure who I want to invite, I don't have many friends, and I don't really enjoy spending time with my extended family, just not close to them. I also don't like the silly games. 


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Old 11-29-2010, 02:12 PM
 
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DDCC...I was a late bloomer in the baby arena and attended ALOT of showers before I had a LO myself.  It was an on going joke between a friend and I about dreading the next baby shower (she has no children.)  I mean how many onesies can you possibly ohhh and ahhh over!?  That being said I was not exactly stoked about my own, but I must say when you are on the receiving end it is more entertainingwink1.gif.  I treated it like a regular party with adult beverages, music, and good food.  It was nice sharing such a special event with people I care about. 


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Old 11-29-2010, 02:15 PM
 
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I completely dreaded having one.  My MIL INSISTED on it, so we rolled with it.  I did ask for a few things to make it more tolerable for us. 

 

#1  CO-ED

#2  BBQ

#3  NO GAMES!!!!!

#4  No registery

 

It turned out to be a lovely time celebrating the birth of our baby.  Looking back, glad we did it. 


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Old 11-29-2010, 05:35 PM
 
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I have helped host a really (if I say so) great baby shower- co-ed, good food, no stupid games, a celebration of the family, and lots of gifts. Isn't that the best? I would hope for the same.

 

I sort of stumbled upon the fact that 4 friends of mine are throwing me a surprise shower. DH is in on it... and he doesn't know that I know! I'm coming clean to you all! I'm dreading it, because I don't like being the center of attention, and all my friends and co-workers (with the exception of maybe 2) are totally mainstream. I just keep telling myself to focus on the baby, smile and nod, and enjoy the day as a celebration of motherhood. I have until January to keep my mouth shut about this secret... it is nice to know the real reason why people are asking me weird questions! Sheepish.gif


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Old 11-30-2010, 09:23 AM
 
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I never had a baby shower and probably won't with this one. I'm ok with it.


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Old 12-01-2010, 11:58 AM
 
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I was the first of my friends to have a baby, so my first shower was new for ALL of us.  The friends that threw it were SO excited about it and I just went with the flow.  It was pretty traditional (fluffy pink decorations and games), but it WAS co-ed and featured a lot of beer.

 

Second time around, I had a lot of mom friends, and it WAS my second (although I needed boy stuff), so it was a lot more low-key.  Ladies only, out to dinner, a couple balloons and a few really, really useful/stylish gifts.

 

Nothing has been mentioned this time around, which is completely fine.  I certainly don't need anything, but I'm not one to refuse a party.  Honestly, I'll be just as happy if all those people come visit me after the baby comes instead.  (I'm one of those people that really likes having post-baby visitors...but I never seem to have any).


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Old 12-02-2010, 05:11 PM
 
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I had one with my first baby only. I do dread the thought of them! With my second little guy, I went to dinner with a few close friends and they gave me things for baby, that was nice. When my last baby, I just told people to feel free to bring me food postpartum rather than a baby gift orngbiggrin.gif


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Old 12-02-2010, 06:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I like the going out to dinner idea, accepting some small gifts.  I feel like I only have like 15 people--tops--to invite and that's just not enough people to have full blown shower....I actually get a little anxious at the thought of even compiling the guest list.  I am so happy to be pregnant, I don't want this to ruin it...I'm being silly, I realize.  Can I just skip it altogether?

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Old 12-02-2010, 06:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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PS--thanks for the replies, it helps to see that renting a hall, games, etc.  isn't necessary...

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Old 12-03-2010, 12:31 AM
 
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15 people is a lot of people... but all the showers i have been have like 8 people tops..... well okay my first one had more in total but it was a revolving door of people...

 

I cried at the end of my first shower.. ( i had really bad ppd and had the baby 5 days before) it was so overwhelming having all these people wanting to hold the baby and trying to sooth him by their self. I was so ticked at my MIL as she kept putting her ( unwashed) finger in his mouth everytime he fussed instead of giving him back to me to feed. but yea that a whole other story

 

 

 

do what you are comfortable with and wait a few weeks is my suggestion if you are doing it post baby. My second shower was less traumatic for me


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Old 12-03-2010, 12:49 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BeanyMama View Post
When my last baby, I just told people to feel free to bring me food postpartum rather than a baby gift orngbiggrin.gif


 Yes!  This is exactly what I plan to do this time!


---Jessica---Livin' my life from A Peace.gif(1/05 ) to Z  jammin.gif(4/08 ).....and z babyf.gif(3/11)

 

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Old 12-04-2010, 04:44 AM
 
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My friend is throwing me a "no games," co-ed, kid-friendly shower in February.  She's pregnant, too, but on her second child and didn't want me to host one for her in return.   I'm having a hard time narrowing down the invite list, as she wants to hold it in her apartment, but my husband and I are working on that now.


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Old 12-05-2010, 07:43 PM
 
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After attending several painful baby showers and being the recipient of 2 when I was pregnant with my first, I have made a promise to myself never to attend a baby shower again (even one for me).  It's partly the games, but it's mostly the staged/public display gift unwrapping....AHHHHHHHH!  

I have a friend that really wants to give me a "baby sprinkle" (her response to me telling her I did NOT want a baby shower) this time.  I'm not even really sure what that means.  Hopefully not opening gifts in front of an audience.

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Old 12-05-2010, 08:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by rockycrop View Post

After attending several painful baby showers and being the recipient of 2 when I was pregnant with my first...  It's partly the games, but it's mostly the staged/public display gift unwrapping....AHHHHHHHH!  

 

biglaugh.gifIt's so true...

 


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Old 12-05-2010, 10:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockycrop View Post

After attending several painful baby showers and being the recipient of 2 when I was pregnant with my first, I have made a promise to myself never to attend a baby shower again (even one for me).  It's partly the games, but it's mostly the staged/public display gift unwrapping....AHHHHHHHH!  

I have a friend that really wants to give me a "baby sprinkle" (her response to me telling her I did NOT want a baby shower) this time.  I'm not even really sure what that means.  Hopefully not opening gifts in front of an audience.



My friends did not open gifts at the shower I threw for them, and I'm hoping to avoid opening gifts at mine.  ;)


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Old 12-17-2010, 02:03 PM
 
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I'm dreading the shower thing as well.

 

My mom wants to host mine, but we are going to plan it together to make it easier. I was conversing about this with a girl that i recently met through a mutual acquaintance, maybe like the 2ND time we hung out. ( We have only gotten together maybe  3 or 4 times for a few hours over lunch) and during the 3rd time we got together she was like "I don't know if anyone has offered but I would like to throw your shower for you."  It was very awkward because I had made it very clear that me and my mother are going to plan a shower and that I really didn't want to have one anyways. Plus her and i had just met! I don't know maybe I'm being weird about it but i feel like that was a little .... i dunno... whats the word...Presumptuous??

 

So I told her thank you and wow and all that, as well like  "that's very sweet of you...but my mom and i already are planning one" She she says " Well, I  just can throw you a separate shower."  

 

Umm..... We JUST MET! you don't even know me, or any of my family or friends. Ugh it was soooo awkward, i didn't want to hurt her feelings you know. Plus i wouldn't want to invite the same 15 people to two baby showers. 11 of those people are family members, so its not like i could just have a shower with friends and one with family you know. I said "well if you want to help me plan my half of things that might be okay..." ugh wish i just could be blunt sometimes, but i don't want to be rude! 

 

So now I'm thinking I will change EVERYTHING around and just have a Welcome Home Baby shower instead ( since we don't know if we are having a boy or girl anyways) and then that way me and hubby will be hosting. Then just have a women family members ONLY "Mama blessing" spa day before baby is born... do facials and soak our feet things like that and i was thinking about hiring a henna artist to come and do a "protection/blessing" henna design on my belly and offer henna to everyone else if they want to do something small like on their hands or feet. No baby shower games or anything...if they want to bring a small gift that would be okay..kinda thing.

 

I dunno I'm still undecided. I was so excited about doing something to honor the baby before he/she comes into this world, but now i feel a tad bit obligated to incorporate "strangers" into all this. 

 

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Old 12-17-2010, 03:16 PM
 
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I'm thinking about the gift unwrapping thing, and I think I'm going to have the kids who will be there take turns unwrapping. that way the focus will be on them, and not on me. 


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Old 12-18-2010, 07:32 AM
 
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I'm thinking about the gift unwrapping thing, and I think I'm going to have the kids who will be there take turns unwrapping. that way the focus will be on them, and not on me. 



I am thinking if people really want to see us open gifts at the shower, we'll do it individually as an aside with the people who gave the gift, rather than the traditional "sit in a circle and everyone watches" thing I had to do at my wedding shower.


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Old 12-19-2010, 10:00 PM
 
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it's werid how random peole think they should be invited to your baby showers. I had co workers who i really didn't know or talk with ask if they would be invited to the shower. I kinda shruggged it off and said i was unlikley to have a shower with it being my third, and nothing till a few weeks after the baby....

 

i recenlty went to a shower and it was nice.. they had a few games but nothing ridiclous.. like the diaper game or things like that. it much more about socializing and such. I kinda hope i end up having one but i'm not planning one so we'll see what happens


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Old 12-27-2010, 10:02 PM
 
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Definitely doing a mother blessing, because like most of you, I can't stand the crap and superficialness of a baby shower, plus - I'd rather have LOVE than gifts!  I really do thrive from being surrounded by strong women and am looking forward to my good friends and i coming together and really connecting on a deeper womanly level than we would day-to-day.


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Old 12-28-2010, 01:27 PM
 
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Yes the baby shower dilemma- I pretty much thought that for a second baby there were no more showers (thank goodness!), but some older friends said they would be throwing me one...ugh...and I too hate the idea of an invite list (who will be offended if they get an invite, and who will be if they don't)...plus...

 

First time around not so good- I ended up having three showers (my family and childhood friends out of state so that was #1, very lovely party- but I agree i HATE the public gift opening). #2 thrown by two good friends- kind of an akward situation, one friend offered to throw me a party and rather than just accepting her invitation I was concerned that another friend would want to throw me a party so I asked her about it (though she hadn't mentioned wanting to throw the party in awhile so I should have left it alone, because now that I asked her she probably felt obligated, oops!)...so she was hardly present at the party- no games, just food and open presents (she actually didn't know who some of my guests were, and didn't do introductions)...it was great to see friends and get together but it was everything I didn't want in a shower...plus my friend that offered got put on the backburner for helping :(  #3 was the best one yet- NOT- the host decided not to show up!  Yes you read that right- thank goodness it was just for family, but she had all the food and decorations- so I had to try to entertain everyone while we figured out what the heck was going on...opened presents as a filler while we STILL didn't know what was going on...and just as some people were going to leave she showed up- like what's the problem!

 

All the while all I really wanted is a mother blessing- seemed like a neat idea, but with my mother miles and miles away I really didn't have anyone to throw one for me- most of my friends are mainstream anyways and I didn't know what they would think of it...and if I would want to invite them anyways.

 

I recently went to a shower after the baby was born and I have mixed feelings about if I have to have one this time if I want them to do it before or after...I like the idea of everyone getting to meet the baby in one sitting- but as others mentioned it's kind of hard to watch your brand new baby being tossed from person to person. 

 

I just realized I missed the second page of comments- what a great idea to have the kids open the gifts!


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Old 12-28-2010, 03:10 PM
 
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Most of my family and close friends still live in and around my hometown about 10 hours from where I currently live.  My mom and my cousins are planning a baby shower for me.  We are planning more of a family and friend get together because we don't all get to see each other very often.  My parents live up in the mountains, with sledding hills galore, so we are planning a kid friendly, boy friendly all day informal get together where people can come and go as they please to go play in the snow.  That afternoon we are having a luncheon with a few games (my cousins are really into them, not me so much, but compromise).  I am really looking forward to seeing everyone, show off my belly to people that haven't seen it in person and let everyone get to know my husband a little better.  This is my first.

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Old 12-30-2010, 03:35 PM
 
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Quote:
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"most of my friends are mainstream anyways and I didn't know what they would think of it...and if I would want to invite them anyways."

 

 



I'm having the same problem :(  I want to do a mother blessing but all of my family and friends are WAY mainstream and the few "friends" that I would invite I consider acquaintances anyway, so I'm not sure i even want to invite them. I want this to be something spiritual and special for The baby and I but I feel like others wont respect that as much. then again I keep thinking that it might be a really good way to introduce everyone to the more "natural/spiritual" side of celebrating. They might get weirded out though... i dunno. grrrr wish i had more like-minded people in my life.eyesroll.gif 

 

 


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Old 12-30-2010, 05:16 PM
 
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I'd like to have a party for the new baby right before or after she's born.  I'd really like to have a bounce house for the kids and some baby-shower-type food, without all the baby shower stuff.  Maybe a "meet the baby" party?  I had a shower for the first.  I've had an offer for a small shower, but it makes me kind of uncomfortable.  It would mostly be friends passing on hand-me-downs, so I don't know why I'm so uncomfortable with it. 

 

But I would like to have a party and invite all of our friends to meet her once she's here.  Is that bad taste?

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Old 01-04-2011, 07:13 AM
 
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The Shop Mama (no kids yet, unless you count her DH's son who is only part-custody for him, so-dubbed because she does all sorts of stuff her her and my DH's co-workers and stuff on base) - wanted to throw me a baby shower.  I agreed only if she would let me assist.  I'm awkward when it comes to receiving gifts anyhow, and it makes me feel that much better that I get to help organize and decide what goes on at my shower.  My baby shower will be co-ed - and invitations are sent out accordingly.  I only hope the guys we invite do come!  I know 3 that will definitely be there - maybe up to 6.

 

I do want games for ice breakers and to get the men involved, and thank you cards will be easy, I think - because we'll have them there, and people fill out the envelope themselves, and all we have to do is write in it, stamp it, and send it out!

 

I know the cost will be high for a lot of the stuff, and getting help with a baby shower and registries will be a wonder.  As it is, other things are in the works, like possibly deployment for DH, and if that possibility comes to light, then getting me and Alistair moved into Base Housing - oh, what a mess it will be with such a small infant!  I hope I have that much help available for moving as I will with baby stuff.


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Old 01-09-2011, 05:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think this sounds like a wonderful idea and wish I had thought of it....

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