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#121 of 261 Old 09-10-2010, 03:44 AM
 
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Staysee - I barely showed with DD, like it was crazy how small I was, and I'm bigger at 7 weeks than I was at 18 weeks with her!

17w6d with DD

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#122 of 261 Old 09-10-2010, 08:07 AM
 
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I don't feel connected to this baby at all because I'm so scared that I'm going to lose it.
Yes, me too.

My first m/c happened somewhere between the 6 week u/s and about a week and a half later when I started spotting. I hope I get good news at my 8 week u/s. I also just found out yesterday, my friend at work is expecting and our due dates are within the same week. So I really hope I don't lose this baby, because being around someone pregnant who you're friends with is going to be really difficult.

Ryan 08-28-08  & Julianna 5-3-11
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#123 of 261 Old 09-10-2010, 01:00 PM
 
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Yes, me too.

My first m/c happened somewhere between the 6 week u/s and about a week and a half later when I started spotting. I hope I get good news at my 8 week u/s. I also just found out yesterday, my friend at work is expecting and our due dates are within the same week. So I really hope I don't lose this baby, because being around someone pregnant who you're friends with is going to be really difficult.
Every time I've had a m/c, either a family member or friend was due around the same time. One of my good friends from high school is due April 16th.

I don't think I will be able to relax until after 12 weeks or so. I've had two 12 week missed m/c where the baby stopped developing around 10 weeks. Thankfully I already have an appt scheduled for 11 weeks for the nuchal translucency screening. I only signed up for that so I could be sure the baby is still alive.

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#124 of 261 Old 09-10-2010, 01:04 PM
 
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Lauren - my middle m/c was a missed m/c where the baby passed around 8.5-9 weeks and we found out at 11w. I'm getting an u/s at 9 weeks and doppler or u/s at 11 weeks to make sure the baby is still alive as well. Did they ever find out what happened with your babies? That seems really late, and to have 2, I would think something is going on. Mine was due to a retroplacental hematoma.

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#125 of 261 Old 09-10-2010, 01:16 PM
 
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Every time I've had a m/c, either a family member or friend was due around the same time. One of my good friends from high school is due April 16th.
Me too. I know three people due in April. And we're doing the NT for the same reason.

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#126 of 261 Old 09-10-2010, 03:51 PM
 
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Lauren - my middle m/c was a missed m/c where the baby passed around 8.5-9 weeks and we found out at 11w. I'm getting an u/s at 9 weeks and doppler or u/s at 11 weeks to make sure the baby is still alive as well. Did they ever find out what happened with your babies? That seems really late, and to have 2, I would think something is going on. Mine was due to a retroplacental hematoma.
They claimed it was probably due to chromosomal abnormalities but I think that's code for "we didn't really look into it".

I have an u/s on Wed and I'll be 8 weeks and then the u/s at 11 weeks. i think I'll rent a doppler at 10 weeks. Ugh. This paranoia is terrible.

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#127 of 261 Old 09-10-2010, 05:46 PM
 
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Two of my really good friends are due around the same time I am too. I am excited about that but nervous too!

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend! Today is DH's birthday and we're off to the beach for the weekend. I'm hoping I pick up some energy on the way!!

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#128 of 261 Old 09-11-2010, 02:15 AM
 
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Hi, I posted in this thread a while back but haven't been around in a while. Been so nervous waiting to see how this pregnancy would go and now things are not looking good but I'm so confused.

Tuesday morning when I wiped there was pink tinged mucus. There was never enough blood to get on the pad I then put on. It continued every time I wiped up until around midday. The worst it got were a few red streaks in the mucus.

Had a scan, and I was meant to be 7weeks, 2days going by LMP. However, we only dtd twice that cycle - once at day 10, the other time day24. Even on an internal, all he could see was a gestational sac and a yolk sac. He said that could be ok if my dates were out (maybe ovulated late and concieved on day 24?) except the sack looked a little collapsed.

Had a blood test the same day. My blood test 10 days earlier (so at 5wks9days) had been 27000. This one was 34000. Dr said combined with the scan, it didn't seem enough of a rise. Especially since my levels were so high when I had my first one, he thought I must have been further along, while the scan seemed to show the opposite.

So since Tuesday I have been waiting to miscarry. Because everything looks bad, but then nothing has been conclusive. I had another blood test today to see if levels are rising or falling. The doctor is certain this pregnancy is over though. The thing is, throughout the week, not only have my pregnancy symptoms continued, they have increased. My nasuea is getting worse, and today for the first time this pregnancy my meat aversion has kicked in (grocery shopping, walking past the meat the smell was overpowering), fatigue is getting worse too.

I would have thought after my last pregnancy ending in stillbirth, and my worries about this pregnancy, I would have been quick to give up hope. The thing is, I can't shake the feeling I'm still pregnant, even in face of the odds being against it. I don't know if it's just denial. I still feel a connection to this baby. If it is over, I just wish I would hurry up and miscarry so that I can accept it, because the longer this goes on, the harder it is to squash any hope. Hopefully I'll get my blood test result in 2 days. So confused and scared.
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#129 of 261 Old 09-11-2010, 07:55 AM
 
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Oh, CLM...what a crappy position to be in!! I would think that symptoms are good sign as well - especially increasing symptoms. Maybe some mamas here can chime in on your numbers if your O'd after the 24th.

I'm sorry, I don't really have any words for you other than to say that the combination of feeling pregnant on one hand and all the hope that goes along with that AND the doctor's opinion and this idea of "waiting to miscarry" must be so confusing and stressful.

I hope you get good news with your next round of tests.

Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
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#130 of 261 Old 09-11-2010, 10:48 AM
 
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Even on an internal, all he could see was a gestational sac and a yolk sac. He said that could be ok if my dates were out (maybe ovulated late and concieved on day 24?) except the sack looked a little collapsed.

Keep in mind, that ultrasounds aren't always very accurate. It's based a lot on interpretation, and works on an "average is normal" scale.

Had a blood test the same day. My blood test 10 days earlier (so at 5wks9days) had been 27000. This one was 34000. Dr said combined with the scan, it didn't seem enough of a rise. Especially since my levels were so high when I had my first one, he thought I must have been further along, while the scan seemed to show the opposite.

I understand this-because my betas have been on the low side as well, and I'm having a scan on Tuesday to see if there's a heartbeat. It's very stressful, and all I can say is that I keep reminding myself that babies are all completely unique little beings. Some walk by 9 months, others not until well after they're a year-and in the end, it doesn't really matter. Maybe our babies are just a bit more laidback!


My nasuea is getting worse, and today for the first time this pregnancy my meat aversion has kicked in (grocery shopping, walking past the meat the smell was overpowering), fatigue is getting worse too.

This could be a very good sign!

I would have thought after my last pregnancy ending in stillbirth, and my worries about this pregnancy, I would have been quick to give up hope. The thing is, I can't shake the feeling I'm still pregnant, even in face of the odds being against it. I don't know if it's just denial. I still feel a connection to this baby. If it is over, I just wish I would hurry up and miscarry so that I can accept it, because the longer this goes on, the harder it is to squash any hope. Hopefully I'll get my blood test result in 2 days. So confused and scared.
I understand completely. I lost two babies just before this pregnancy, and it's been a constant emotional battle between not getting attached so that I'm not crushed is this pregnancy fails, and wanting to enjoy this last pregnancy and connect with babe. Personally, I sometimes feel pregnant, but for the most part I don't. You're lucky that you have these symptoms to remind you that the battle isn't lost yet.

Hang in there-and keep me (us) posted!

Marcie

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#131 of 261 Old 09-11-2010, 09:11 PM
 
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Thankyou for the support - it helps to know I'm not completely delusional in thinking there could be hope!

Nausea still getting worse, and I have that tight feeling in my lower abdomen of everything stretching. Hopefully I get the blood test results tomorrow.

The thing is, with my two living sons, I felt very connected to them in the womb. Especially my DS2, it was like I could feel his little soul, and I knew what he would be like, I knew he would be just like me, and he is. I feel bad saying this, but with my DS3 who was stillborn, I never had that feeling of connection. It used to worry me and I would comment about it to my husband. With this pregnancy, I feel it again, I feel the connection. I think that is why I'm having so much trouble accepting it could be over.

Gabesgrrl - good luck with the scan, the emotions are so confusing. I really hope it's good news. I googled HCG levels and for once the findings were positive. HCG's are so individual and vary by tens of thousands. I found that after 6000, the rate of rise and the peak of your levels varies so much that they don't consider them very useful in determining the health or stage of a pregnancy.
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#132 of 261 Old 09-12-2010, 10:22 PM
 
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Staysee - I barely showed with DD, like it was crazy how small I was, and I'm bigger at 7 weeks than I was at 18 weeks with her!

17w6d with DD
This is me too. I do have a bit more abdominal fat than before ds but I swear there must be twins in there. Getting so anxious for my appt. In two weeks really want to hear heartbeat and make sure all is well.

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#133 of 261 Old 09-13-2010, 08:14 AM
 
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CLM-I hope everything turns out ok for you.

I think my m/s is officially here. I puked last night for the first time and even though it sucked, I was very happy. I had just brushed my teeth and all of a sudden this wave of nausea came over me. I barely made it to the toilet. I'm still crossing my fingers that everything will be alright at my u/s next week.

Ryan 08-28-08  & Julianna 5-3-11
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#134 of 261 Old 09-14-2010, 02:24 AM
 
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Hi just came in to update. My hormone levels had dropped 10%, which still may not be conclusive at this stage, but again is not hopeful. Finally got a copy of the scan results and the measurements were odd as well as the gestational sack being irregular. Bad cramping today and passing some clots. So I think it's safe to say it's over.

Can't believe the timing....today is my EDD for my son who was stillborn 3 1/2 months ago. I wondered many times what this day would be like, never did I imagine I would be miscarrying another baby.

So strange, with my first two DS's I had straightforward pregnancies and labours. Fell pregnant straight away, no miscarriages. And now here I am two losses in such a short span, wondering if we will ever get to hold another little one. What used to seem so achievable now seems unattainable.

I hope everyone else here goes on to have a healthy pregnancy and lots of rainbow babies to heal their mama's broken hearts.
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#135 of 261 Old 09-14-2010, 08:10 AM
 
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CLM-I am so sorry for your loss. {{{hugs}}}

Ryan 08-28-08  & Julianna 5-3-11
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#136 of 261 Old 09-14-2010, 08:49 AM
 
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. I wondered many times what this day would be like, never did I imagine I would be miscarrying another baby.
Oh, mama. I am so, so sorry. I hope you're getting a lot of love in the coming days, weeks. After a day like this, you deserve it!

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#137 of 261 Old 09-14-2010, 09:24 AM
 
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Oh CLM, I am so sorry

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#138 of 261 Old 09-14-2010, 10:27 AM
 
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I've been gone a while but wanted to say I'm catching up on the thread--I'm so sorry some of you have had questions about hematomas, etc. I don't know anything about them really but it must be nerve wracking.

CheekyLilMonkeys-- I am so, so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain of that on top of the anniversary of your son's EDD. It sounds like so much tragedy and trauma to process in just a few months. Thinking of you.

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#139 of 261 Old 09-14-2010, 09:56 PM
 
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My u/s is tomorrow at 4pm EST. I'm so nervous. If my dates are correct I should be 7 weeks 6 days. Somehow I doubt I'm going to sleep much tonight. eep.

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#140 of 261 Old 09-15-2010, 08:41 AM
 
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My u/s is tomorrow at 4pm EST. I'm so nervous. If my dates are correct I should be 7 weeks 6 days. Somehow I doubt I'm going to sleep much tonight. eep.
Hey Lauren,
Mine's the same day (today now), at 12:30 EST. 8 weeks 1 day. Thinking of you!

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#141 of 261 Old 09-15-2010, 09:05 AM
 
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Hi Everyone,
I feel like I'm drowning in emotion and have no support here.

I had my ultrasound yesterday-I was supposed to be 9 weeks exactly. The tech told me she couldn't find a baby, and that it looks like a very early pregnancy.

My midwife called at 8:30, and said according to the report they did find a baby: 6weeks and 4 days old, but no heartbeat. Since there is no biological way this baby could be that old, the assumption is that it's a missed miscarriage. She did say that at the age it's measuring, it's right on the edge of when a heartbeat would be expected, so she's scheduled me for a follow-up US in a week, but it's likely my body will miscarry before then.

I feel so confused. Why do I have pregnancy symptoms? Why do I LOOK pregnant? (4th baby, showing early...) Why is this, my 3rd baby not sticking around? Why do I have a partner who is unrelenting and cruel about this? I just want someone to come to my house, make me homemade hot chocolate and let me cry and talk.

It feels weird that there's a baby there inside my body, but dead. It feels like something from a sci-fi movie is happening to me, and I feel crawly and yucky. I am angry. And now, since this is my 3rd in a row, I have to get a referrel to an OB for testing, and go through all the hoops to figure out why this is happening before I were to try again. Which I don't feel I want to subject myself to for a baby that is mostly to satisfy my husband's want.

Quite honestly, the way he is acting is making me wonder if staying married to him is what I want-let alone growing our family.

I found out about this around 2:30, and by 5pm, he was telling me "I promised him another baby", and that I would be going back on my promise if I didn't try again. He started listing off things he thinks it could be, and saying that he will figure it out, and then if I don't try again it would be "unfair". This will be his second child, and he's been pushing me and pushing me to have another one, in spite of the fact that I feel done, I have a balance disorder which makes parenting tiny ones very unpleasant, and my business is taking off and I don't want to have to give up my clients-I've been parenting since I was 19, and I'm turning 36 this month. I'd really like a chance to have a career of some kind. But none of that matters to him, because I "promised him". Well, I also said 5 years ago, that I didn't want to be giving birth after 35, and it was never the "right time" for him-and now, soon after I turned 35 he started pressuring me, threatening me with divorce and more if I wouldn't try again. I think I've tried. 3 lost babies in 6 months is a lot.

He also said when I became pregnant this time, that if this one didn't work out he wouldn't pressure me to try again. I reminded him of that, but of course in his mind it doesn't count because there's something obviously wrong, and I owe it to him to figure out what it is and fix it so I can keep my promise. But of course, it doesn't go the opposite direction when it comes to HIS end of the deal, which was to move us out of the city-we moved, and he's already planning to move again in spite of the fact that everybody else loves it here. HIS reasons are "logical", and I am the selfish one if I don't agree....

I need a hug.

Marcie

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#142 of 261 Old 09-15-2010, 09:14 AM
 
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You do need a hug, mama!! Your DH is really not handling grief well right now AT ALL. I'm sorry that you have all that do deal with on top of this uncertainty. Cyber hugs.

Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
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#143 of 261 Old 09-15-2010, 11:15 AM
 
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Marcie,

I'm sorry you're going through so much right now. Please be gentle with yourself.

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#144 of 261 Old 09-15-2010, 03:41 PM
 
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IME, guys want to try and "fix" things. Doesn't make it right or easier but that has been my experience with DH. Also, I'd be half inclined to tell him it could easily be his problem (chromosomal translocation) and to have him get tested first. He also might be feeling like it's an affront to his manhood since fertility and manhood are so intricately tied together.

That being said, I am so so sorry you are going through this. I know after 2, I was thinking maybe it was just happenstance, but after 3 m/c in a row, it was really rough. (((Hugs))) to you and I highly recommend the TTC after a loss ladies in the loss section even if you don't plan on TTC, some of them aren't either but they just "get it".

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#145 of 261 Old 09-15-2010, 03:45 PM
 
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Marcie, it sounds just awful, and I am so sorry. Your DH's behavior sounds shocking to me. All I can think is that perhaps it is his way of processing grief. I'm sorry he is not there for you right now in the way you need him to be. Are there any friends or family you might be able to confide in? Counseling? I hope things look up soon.

Fiction writer by training, writer/editor of anything anyone will hire me for by trade. Me + D=my girls E (4/2011) and little N, 1/2014.

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#146 of 261 Old 09-15-2010, 05:45 PM
 
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We have a h/b! I am measuring one day behind what I had figured as my due date. The u/s said 4/29 and the tech said it's not enough difference to bother changing anything.

My next u/s is Oct 14th at 12 weeks for the nuchal translucency scan. I feel a little bit better but still not connecting too much to the baby. I didn't cry which was really surprising.

One day at a time.

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#147 of 261 Old 09-15-2010, 06:18 PM
 
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Lauren!! I'm so so so glad for you!! So you are almost 8 weeks then?

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#148 of 261 Old 09-15-2010, 06:22 PM
 
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Yep. U/S said 7 weeks 5 days and by my calculations based on the day we DTD, I had 7 weeks 6 days.

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#149 of 261 Old 09-15-2010, 07:58 PM
 
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What great news Lauren!

I had my first appt with the midwife today. She couldn't find the heartbeat with the doppler, so the u/s tech took a quick peek and found the baby with a hr in the 170s. 11w 3d today.

I still haven't told many people that I'm pregnant. When are you all planning on telling friends and family, or have you told already?

mama to two sweet girls love.gif 8/05, fairy.gif 11/08, a handsome little guy babyboy.gif 4/11, and expecting another 5/13
always missing our angel1.gif (11/04, 4/07, 8/07, 5/10)
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#150 of 261 Old 09-15-2010, 08:07 PM
 
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Congrats Hannybanany and Lauren! Add me to the list of those with a good ultrasound result--baby measuring 8w3d, heartbeat 167!!!!! Doctor said everything looks fantastic, and now that we have gotten this far and seen a healthy fetus, miscarriage rate has dropped to around 3%. What a relief. I know we're not out of the woods quite yet, but it's starting to feel more real. But Lauren--I can totally relate to not feeling totally connected. I'm sure I'll get there, but I admit my first reaction when I saw the heartbeat was "What is this alien creature inside me?!" not "Oh my darling baby." As it's sinking in, I'm feeling more excited--and more intimidated by the life changes that are to come (this is my first).

By my O date (Aug. 3) I should be 8w1d. I mucked it up a bit and lied to my doctor about LMP--I said it started 3 days later than it actually did, to make up for the fact that I O'd on CD17. I should have trusted her intelligence more, I think, but at any rate no harm done. By the date I gave her, she has me as a day behind my calculations but I doubt it matters, right?

I just can't believe it. It looks like a fetus. Head, little nubs of arms and legs (or what I think are arms and legs). Craaaaaazyyyy.

Fiction writer by training, writer/editor of anything anyone will hire me for by trade. Me + D=my girls E (4/2011) and little N, 1/2014.

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