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#181 of 261 Old 09-27-2010, 11:58 PM
 
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Lauren, check low with the doppler. The dr's was checking not too far above my bikini line since I have belly flub too. He said it probably would've picked up if not for the anterior placenta.

I really wouldn't worry if I was you. It's normal for symptoms to come and go. Hang in there!! And I wouldn't worry about anyone thinking you're overreacting. I remember going in for an extra visit with my youngest just because I was so freaked out around 14 weeks. The dr said to come in any time I needed reassurance! That made me feel better!

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#182 of 261 Old 09-28-2010, 03:26 PM
 
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Hey Lauren,
Sorry you're feeling crappy/worried. I was feeling the same way a few days ago, because it feels like my symptoms have definitely lessened. My stomach wasn't bad to begin with, but feels totally fine now. My fatigue is lessening a bit, I think, and my breasts aren't as sore (though still tender). It seems to come and go. But I felt better when I realized a lot of people report symptoms lessening around 9-10 weeks, and I'm still feeling uterine stretches/twinges now and then. I know the feeling though--I wish I could have an ultrasound every week! I mean, not really, because that would be weird and over medicalized, I think, but I do wish I had PROOF everything was still fine. It's so hard not to worry.

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#183 of 261 Old 09-28-2010, 04:44 PM
 
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Thanks Blanca.

Well, each day brings new things. I was driving earlier and almost threw up in the passenger seat. Then I came home to find that UPS had delivered the $50 doppler I ordered off Amazon. Then, I found my little bean's heart beat thumping away at about 165 BPM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm quite thrilled that the cheap doppler worked at 9+5! It's the Sonoline B 3mhz if anyone is interested in one.

I feel so relieved. Whew.

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#184 of 261 Old 09-28-2010, 05:17 PM
 
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Yay Lauren! That's wonderful news!

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#185 of 261 Old 09-29-2010, 12:44 AM
 
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Had appt. Today the mw couldn't hear the heart beat so I got a quick ultrasound. The little baby was waving and kicking around. Dh and ds both got to see it. Ds said it is a cute little baaby, I think seeing it has relieved a lot of my worry. Baby measured in at 11 weeks exactly so my dates are pretty accurate.

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#186 of 261 Old 09-29-2010, 11:51 AM
 
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So good to hear, ILoveMyBabyBird!

I'm starting to freak myself out again. I mean, I haven't had any signs that anything's wrong, but the two weeks to my 12 week appointment feels like an eternity. I'm mad at myself because I have leaked the news to a few more people than I wanted to. I really wish I hadn't, because it just heightens my anxiety about something being wrong, as does the fact that I've been getting more excited. I'm just so scared of setting myself up for a horrible fall.

On the plus side, I still have very faint symptoms (sore breasts, abdominal stretches, constipation). But it's like, I'm not showing AT ALL. Apart from those super faint symptoms, I don't feel or look pregnant. I guess I'm still having trouble believing it's real.

Just had to vent...

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#187 of 261 Old 09-29-2010, 03:07 PM
 
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So good to hear, ILoveMyBabyBird!

I'm starting to freak myself out again. I mean, I haven't had any signs that anything's wrong, but the two weeks to my 12 week appointment feels like an eternity. I'm mad at myself because I have leaked the news to a few more people than I wanted to. I really wish I hadn't, because it just heightens my anxiety about something being wrong, as does the fact that I've been getting more excited. I'm just so scared of setting myself up for a horrible fall.

On the plus side, I still have very faint symptoms (sore breasts, abdominal stretches, constipation). But it's like, I'm not showing AT ALL. Apart from those super faint symptoms, I don't feel or look pregnant. I guess I'm still having trouble believing it's real.

Just had to vent...
Hang in there! I'm sure everything is fine! It's hard not to have constant reassurance! I told DH the other day that I almost feel like I'm having an out of body experience when I walk into my OB's office. I feel so disconnected. He did a quick u/s on Monday and I was happy but I wasn't bouncing up and down. It still doesn't feel real!

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#188 of 261 Old 09-29-2010, 03:24 PM
 
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Hang in there! I'm sure everything is fine! It's hard not to have constant reassurance! I told DH the other day that I almost feel like I'm having an out of body experience when I walk into my OB's office. I feel so disconnected. He did a quick u/s on Monday and I was happy but I wasn't bouncing up and down. It still doesn't feel real!
I have disconnect bad too. When I had my ultrasound I didn't cry or react much. I'm hoping that once I have the 12 week ultrasound I can finally relax some and try to be happy about being pregnant.

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#189 of 261 Old 09-29-2010, 03:34 PM
 
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Hi Ladies -
Just wanted to check in quickly. I'm 12 weeks as of this past Monday and we have our nuchal scan and got to see the baby! It was amazing (even though we have had 3 previous u/s because of bleeding). The baby had the hiccups so was moving all around and we got great pictures. I feel so much more relieved now having reached 12 weeks and knowing that most of the worry can be set aside. Of course I'll feel a ton better after our 18 week anatomy scan to make sure the little bean is healthy and then again at 24 weeks when baby is viable outside the womb, but hey, this is a little milestone to celebrate!

On that note, we've told a few more people - some people at DH's works and some of the moms in my moms' group. We still haven't announced it to the world yet.

I'm also still doing weekly acupuncture sessions although we will probably be spreading them out soon. It's been very reassuring when they can hear that secondary pulse!
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#190 of 261 Old 09-29-2010, 03:35 PM
 
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I feel disconnected as well - have an u/s next week at 10w5d and I might start being able to breathe a little afterwards.

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#191 of 261 Old 09-29-2010, 04:45 PM
 
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Ooh Rachel, I am envious. You'll have to share a pic if you can. If I recall, I had a 10 week u/s with my son and he was verrrry active in there.

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#192 of 261 Old 09-29-2010, 07:27 PM
 
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I have disconnect bad too. When I had my ultrasound I didn't cry or react much. I'm hoping that once I have the 12 week ultrasound I can finally relax some and try to be happy about being pregnant.
Yeah, my first reaction at the 8 week ultrasound was (I said this out loud), "Whoah. There's, like, this creature inside me." I felt like I'd failed some test--I was supposed gasp and say, "Oh my darling baby!" or something!

Thanks for the reassurance, everyone. That 12 week appointment cannot come fast enough.

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#193 of 261 Old 09-30-2010, 06:33 PM
 
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Oh I just want to hug you all!!!!!!

I am so with everyone. I am 9 weeks exactly today. With DD..I heard her HB on the doppler at 9 weeks 3 days. I tried to hear the HB yesterday and couldn't hear it. I am making myself wait a week to try to listen to it again. Let's hope I make it that long.....and if I can't I will try again at 9 weeks 3 days like with DD. I'm skinnier now anyway.

Is anyone else having trouble finding their uterus's? I feel around but I can't really definitively FEEL it...y'know? Ugh.

There is just always something to worry about isn't there!?

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#194 of 261 Old 09-30-2010, 06:47 PM
 
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Tara,

I'm 10 weeks today and it's hard to find the heartbeat. If I move the doppler just a tiny bit, I lose it. It's literally like finding a needle in a hay stack. Also, baby hangs out in a spot that is right by my heart beat so mine often drowns out the sound of baby's. A couple days can definitely make a difference. I could not find it at 9 weeks.

As for uterus, honestly, I have always been terrible at feeling mine. I've even had the midwives try and put my hand where it is to show me. It all just feels like belly flab to me.

Yes there is always something to worry about!
I'm really glad we have each other to talk to though. It helps so much!!

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#195 of 261 Old 09-30-2010, 07:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I had a heck of a time finding it at 11 weeks and my OB found it instantly today at 12w5d. A few days definitely can make a big difference.

I am somewhat good at finding my uterus, but if I want to be sure, I ask DH He's much better at finding it than I am

Today was my 12 week OB appt and it went great! Heard a heartbeat of 161 bpm and signed the form to get my records released to me so I can give them to my home birth midwife at our first appt (which still needs to be scheduled). This was the appt I was looking forward to since the day I found out I was pg and I'm so glad there's (still) a heartbeat and we can go public now, but it still feels kind of surreal - totally the disconnected feeling you all have been talking about.

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#196 of 261 Old 09-30-2010, 07:53 PM
 
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Congrats, Sihaya! Sounds like a great day.

Fiction writer by training, writer/editor of anything anyone will hire me for by trade. Me + D=my girls E (4/2011) and little N, 1/2014.

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#197 of 261 Old 09-30-2010, 09:18 PM
 
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Sihaya,

I'm glad to see everything is going well with you and your baby.

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#198 of 261 Old 09-30-2010, 09:44 PM
 
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It's good to see that things are going well for everybody!

I had my first appt with the OB yesterday, and she was great. She delivered my VBAC baby, and I'm pretty happy to be planning another delivery with her. She had her own VBAC a year and a half ago. She found the baby's HB in about 10 seconds (13 3), 172 bpm. And she shared that she had suffered from losses prior to her most recent baby, so we talked about the anxiety one feels during a PAL. It was nice.

Even though we've announced this pregnancy to the everybody I'm still afraid to actually *talk* about it with people... I hate people asking how far along I am, when I'm due, are we going to find out the sex, how am I feeling... They're just being friendly and curious, but I feel bad that I'm getting their hopes up. I don't know. Everybody expects that we're actually going to have a baby at the end of this, and I'm just not there yet. Maybe we should have waited a few more weeks until I felt more confident. Nothing we can do about it now!

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#199 of 261 Old 09-30-2010, 09:48 PM
 
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Even though we've announced this pregnancy to the everybody I'm still afraid to actually *talk* about it with people... I hate people asking how far along I am, when I'm due, are we going to find out the sex, how am I feeling...
I know the feeling. My mother asked me about names today. I ended up caving in and discussing names that I like but it was hard to do.

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#200 of 261 Old 10-01-2010, 07:42 AM
 
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I know it's partly hormones but seriously????

Ok, back story first. When we told my ILs that we were pregnant with DD at 7w2d, it was on Thanksgiving. My MIL has such a huge need to be the first with any bit of juicy information to spread that she was calling people within 5 minutes and LEAVING MESSAGES ON THEIR VOICEMAIL - while I was begging her not to, that we wanted to tell people.

With all of the miscarriages, we have never told anyone we were pregnant (except for my family with 1 of them, they live crosscountry and don't tell anyone).

I was *really really really* looking forward to telling people with this one, especially after this past year and losing so many babies. I'm 10w2d today BUT I've gotten to 11w1d before without knowing the baby had passed, so honestly, I still don't feel safe. We have an u/s on Tuesday, and I'd feel better after that.

At 5w, we went to a wedding and my BIL and SIL were there (DH's brother and wife). SIL and I get along well - she asked me if I was pregnant and I told her, because she told me before they told the ILs when THEY were pregnant, and I didn't tell a soul. She remembered what MIL had done when we told DD and so told MIL AFTER they told everyone else they wanted to tell. I swore her to secrecy and told her not to tell BIL.

I found out tonight that MIL point blank asked DH if we were pregnant AND he said we were. I just want to cry. This is possibly our last baby, I didn't even get to be there or tell them in a cute way AND if we lose this baby, I knwo I'm going to have to untell so many people because MIL can't keep her mouth shut.

And the worst part is that DH totally doesn't get it. He was like "Um, they already knew" NO - she was trolling for info, she does that ALL THE FREAKING TIME. She asked DH's cousin to find out if I was pregnant (I happened not to be and DH's cousin told me that MIL thought I was pregnant - this was after the first miscarriage).

I'm seriously so freaking pissed and crying (and I never cry).

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#201 of 261 Old 10-01-2010, 07:44 AM
 
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I guess I'm the most pissed because being pregnant and having a new baby are not my favorite things to do - I am morning sick, I was sick the whole pregnancy with DD, and then she just didn't sleep for the first 2 years (literally, she just now started sometimes sleeping 6 hour stretches). So I really look forward to 2 things - telling the grandparents that we are pregnant in a cute way, and telling the sex of the baby in a cute way. And she stole that from me.

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#202 of 261 Old 10-01-2010, 11:01 AM
 
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Oh my god, Rachel, I am SO ANGRY for you! Maybe I'm biased because my MIL is a blabbermouth, although I have no reason to think she would betray my confidence on this yet (we haven't told her yet), I just have a bad feeling about telling her. It wouldn't be malicious on her part, just insensitive. But back to you.

I don't think you have any reason to feel bad about being so angry and upset. I totally understand what you mean about having the opportunity to tell in your own way stolen from you. It's too bad your DH doesn't understand the extent of his blunder but maybe he will come around. I'd be crying too.

I guess to play the devil's advocate a bit, I'm sure your MIL is just very excited to have another grandchild, and in her own way, is expressing love by spreading the news. But that doesn't mean it's not completely wrong of her to disrespect your wishes. You definitely have gotten the short end of the stick in this situation. Is there any way you could have a talk with her about it?

You still have the sex of the baby to look forward to--maybe that will help make up for it?

At any rate, I'm so sorry.

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#203 of 261 Old 10-01-2010, 12:01 PM
 
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Lauren82~ I feel relieved that you just found it at 10 weeks. I am hoping by 10 weeks I'll be able to pick it up. How long does it take you to find it?

I, too, am so glad we have each other to talk to!! I don't know what I would do w/o people who understood exactly what I am going through!!!

Sihaya~ I am so glad things are going so well!!! !!

hannybanany~ Yah for heartbeats and good appointments!! I so know what you mean about not feeling confident. I wanted to wait to tell people at work until I heard the HB...but I've already told some and now I wish I hadn't.

kalamos23~ I am SO sorry your MIL is doing this to you! That is so not fair. I second what Blanca said...can you talk to her about and tell her to zip her trap? This is you and your DH's news..not hers. She really should respect that!!!!

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#204 of 261 Old 10-01-2010, 01:31 PM
 
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Rachel,

I'm so sorry your MIL acts this way. It always astounds me as to why some people want to steal other's thunder. You have every right to be upset.
My MIL does not know yet because she'll complain about how we don't need another child. She does not like kids. It's sick.



Tara,
I can find the h/b in a minute or two because I know where to place the probe now. It is really low and I have to point it in toward my uterus instead of down at the pubic bone. It was by fluke I decided to try it at that angle. If I didn't, I don't think I would be able to hear it yet.

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#205 of 261 Old 10-01-2010, 09:41 PM
 
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Woo hoo! I found the h/b with my doppler today. It was 175bpm. I'm 10 weeks today. I had tried on Tuesday but didn't find it. It helps to have a full bladder.

Rachel-sorry to hear about the issues with your MIL.

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#206 of 261 Old 10-01-2010, 11:31 PM
 
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How frustrating about the MIL! My MIL was the last in the family to know this time because I wanted to be able to tell everyone ourselves! She was mad that she waited so late but she did admit that she has a hard time not telling!

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#207 of 261 Old 10-02-2010, 12:54 PM
 
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How frustrating about the MIL! My MIL was the last in the family to know this time because I wanted to be able to tell everyone ourselves! She was mad that she waited so late but she did admit that she has a hard time not telling!
Mine would just want to know so she could call up everyone and complain about how horrible it is that we are having another. She's such a gem. On our wedding day she told my entire family that her son, my DH, was a huge mistake. She once told my DH that I have issues because I have kids in order to be happy. Well, of course I do!!! My kids are absolutely responsible for most of the joy and happiness I experience.

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#208 of 261 Old 10-07-2010, 02:04 AM
 
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So I just figured out today why I'm not 100% happy about being pg right now. I think I'm too scared to get attached only to lose the baby. I had a loss march of this year at not quite 5 weeks. Dh said that I've been saying some pretty wacky things lately. Like yesterday I said "I wonder if I really love my kids" ...um, wow...of course I do. Or I wouldn't have them at home all day with me, we homeschool, and I'd have a full time job with one in school and one in daycare. I also think that I will be calmer and more excited about this baby when i hear the heartbeat. I have never waited this long to go to my first appt...I will be 14w when I go this Monday. So there it is. I'm scared. Which really pisses me off...bc we tried for 8 months for this to happen and I can't be excited about it.


I'm also pissed off at myself bc I said as soon as I found out I was pg this time, that I don't want to be pg again...we really wanted 4, maybe even 5. But I'm just really not wanting to go through gagging and nausea again...I REALLY hate having an upset stomach. I know that dh isn't done...but he is so amazing that he said it's up to me...he doesn't want to push me into something I don't want to do...he's so understanding. So I told him that we can entertain the idea when this one is about 4. Then I asked him if he though it would be sooner...and he said yes, that I would be begging him in a couple of years bc that's what I always do. Lol!!


Thank you for letting me vent. I guess I won't be calm about this until my ob appt.
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#209 of 261 Old 10-07-2010, 09:57 AM
 
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Jennifer-It's totally normal to be worried and scared. I feel the same way.

A lot of it does recede once you hear the heartbeat and I do feel better about the pregnancy in general but I'm not sure I honestly believe we'll be bringing a baby home come March/April. It's just too hard to believe sometimes. Everything has been going wonderfully this pregnancy with the exception of borderline bp which is totally expected given my history but I still feel strange and can't fully relax.

As for more kids-just take it one at a time. After my youngest was born I didn't think I could do this again but it's different this time. I don't feel AS worried. Time gives you perspective and helps you forget how hard pregnancy is!

Stacey reading.gif Happy wife to Rick coolshine.gif ,homeschooling Mama to Jacob, Noel, Joanna jumpers.gif  and a sweet stork-girl.gif due in the Spring!
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#210 of 261 Old 10-07-2010, 12:10 PM
 
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Jennifer,

Your post brought me to tears because I am going through the exact same feelings. Last night I cried my eyes out to DH because I told him I just couldn't be happy. Surprisingly enough, he said he felt the same way.

Hearing the h/b definitely helps. You're a lot stronger than I am to make it to 14 weeks without hearing it!
I'm so paranoid that I peek in with the doppler every other day.

I've been doing so much thinking about these feelings and have decided that at some point, it's got to give. Technically something could go wrong at any time in the pregnancy or birth or after. I wonder when that point will be though? When can I breathe?

I'm so thankful that we have each other here. It makes me feel so much better to know that I'm not alone and I'm not losing my mind and that other people understand these fears.

My biggest hope is that we can all find some peace and connection with our little babies growing in us. We ARE doing this ladies. We ARE making it, day by day.

heartbeat.gif Mama to 5 busy bees (12, 9, 6, 3, 2) & 3 angel1.gif
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