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#1 of 102 Old 08-18-2010, 11:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Whether you are planning a VBAC, HBAC, Repeat C, or like me you just plain don't know yet, come on in, sit down, select the beverage of your choice and tell me a little about yourself.

I had a traumatic birth. Nothing went the way I planned. About 36 hours into my long awaited home birth I transferred to the hospital at a measly 4 cm. 6 hours later I was in post op with a bouncing baby boy and a broken heart.

This is a safe place for previous c/s mamas. I don't care why you had a surgical birth, I don't give a fig what you're planning to do for your next birth. I just want us to have a safe, judgment-free zone where we can support one another in our current pregnancies.

><> I'm a Christian, knitting, sewing, cooking SAHM to the fearless adventurer Jack born 11/08, and  a  USCG wife
And we are joyfully awaiting a new addition in April 2011! <><
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#2 of 102 Old 08-18-2010, 01:22 PM
 
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Hi there, Holly!

My story is some what similar as well. Our short version of our birth: We planned and went for an all natural hospital birth with 2 amazing midwives. Got to the hospital at 5 cm and continued to labor for another 12 hours. When it came to pushing time, mine and the baby's heart beat plummeted and that's how we ended up in an emergency c/s land.

I don't know what I'm going to do this time and honestly I haven't started to really try and figure it out yet. I just want us all safe and healthy in the end.

I'm really happy you started this thread. Maybe through this thread and our conversations it will become clear for me, which path, of many to take.

33 Year Old w/ a on the way w/ my DH. EDD 4/6/2011. Mama to Lotus Olivia 7/17/09 and fur mom to 1 and 1
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#3 of 102 Old 08-18-2010, 01:24 PM
 
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Hi! I was heartbroken after my c/s with DS after planning so long for natural childbirth. I transfered from a birth center and thankfully had a great c/s experience but it wasn't want I wanted. It took me about 10 months to come to terms with it all, and I wrestled through it nearly every night. I've gotten SO MUCH encouragement from my local ICAN chapter and the VBAC board and feel very motivated and encouraged that I will have a successful VBAC (most likely at a local, supportive hospital).

I encourage anyone who is still working through their feelings or starting to search for info for their next birth to get in touch with http://www.ican-online.org/.

Alicia, wife to an loving and faithful DH, and mama to three fantastic though nutty children (cs, then an HBAC, then a VBAC!!).
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#4 of 102 Old 08-18-2010, 02:47 PM
 
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Hi! I had a c/s with DD1. It started as an induction and she just wasn't ready to come out so they did a c/s. Not the birth experience I planned, to say the least. I had a wonderful, successful vbac at home with DD2! It was everything I had missed the first time around. It will happen, ladies! I'm planning another homebirth with #3, if everything goes well. I highly recommend the vbac board and ican--both are helpful and encouraging resources.

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#5 of 102 Old 08-18-2010, 07:54 PM
 
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I had a wonderful, successful vbac at home with DD2! It was everything I had missed the first time around. It will happen, ladies! I'm planning another homebirth with #3, if everything goes well. I highly recommend the vbac board and ican--both are helpful and encouraging resources.
Did you go back and forth between hbac and a hospital birth? I lean more toward a hospital birth since we do have one here that is VERY supportive of VBAC and has a pretty low c/s rate compared to the country (like 16% I think), and I am interviewing a second midwife who delivers there. We mostly feel homebirth is not for us for this baby, but if this midwife doesn't work out, I think we will interview a homebirth midwife.

Alicia, wife to an loving and faithful DH, and mama to three fantastic though nutty children (cs, then an HBAC, then a VBAC!!).
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#6 of 102 Old 08-18-2010, 08:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I know if I posted this anywhere else I'd get flames, (but please, if you can't say something nice in this thread please don't say anything at all) but I really don't know if I want to even try to shoot for a VBAC. I know that the hospital I will be going to (military hosp) is very supportive of VBAC, but I have so much fear and anxiety about it that I don't even want to try. I think it would be easier to go in planning a c/s than to end up with another emergency c/s.

I was treated so horribly by the doctors and nurses (at a different, civilian hosp) last time, I'd been in labor for 36 hours and they treated me like turds. I felt violated, they were rough and unkind and rude to my husband and midwives (who came with me and stayed the whole time). And the powerlessness that I felt afterward, the knowledge that for the first time in my life I had put my mind to something and I ad failed at it. That was tough.

><> I'm a Christian, knitting, sewing, cooking SAHM to the fearless adventurer Jack born 11/08, and  a  USCG wife
And we are joyfully awaiting a new addition in April 2011! <><
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#7 of 102 Old 08-18-2010, 09:31 PM
 
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Did you go back and forth between hbac and a hospital birth? I lean more toward a hospital birth since we do have one here that is VERY supportive of VBAC and has a pretty low c/s rate compared to the country (like 16% I think), and I am interviewing a second midwife who delivers there. We mostly feel homebirth is not for us for this baby, but if this midwife doesn't work out, I think we will interview a homebirth midwife.
I went back and forth a lot! I switched care providers several times before deciding on a homebirth midwife at the beginning of the second trimester. The hospitals in my area have high c/s rates and are very unfriendly towards vbacs and natural birthing. That was the primary reason I ended up going the homebirth route. I didn't want to have the stress of fighting for my vbac rights while I was in labor. That's awesome if you have a supportive hospital. I think the best place is where you are most comfortable, whether that be a hospital, at home, or in a birth center.

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#8 of 102 Old 08-18-2010, 09:49 PM
 
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I know if I posted this anywhere else I'd get flames, (but please, if you can't say something nice in this thread please don't say anything at all) but I really don't know if I want to even try to shoot for a VBAC. I know that the hospital I will be going to (military hosp) is very supportive of VBAC, but I have so much fear and anxiety about it that I don't even want to try. I think it would be easier to go in planning a c/s than to end up with another emergency c/s.

I was treated so horribly by the doctors and nurses (at a different, civilian hosp) last time, I'd been in labor for 36 hours and they treated me like turds. I felt violated, they were rough and unkind and rude to my husband and midwives (who came with me and stayed the whole time). And the powerlessness that I felt afterward, the knowledge that for the first time in my life I had put my mind to something and I ad failed at it. That was tough.

Nobody should have to go through what you did. I'm so sorry you had such a rotten experience. If you were intested in testing the vbac waters, you could try finding an ican meeting near you. They would be a little bias of course, but it may be encouraging. After an experience like that, though, I can understand why it could be so hard. I think birth can be such a healing thing. No matter which way you decide to go, being in control and comfortable with the situation and seeing your new little one, I hope will heal some of the hurt.

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#9 of 102 Old 08-18-2010, 11:26 PM
 
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I used to feel like my c/s was a big fail, but after being on the vbac forum I realize I was just unprepared. We asked to be induced and I never looked up anything about inductions until I was researching vbacs. I also remember at some point during my labor, the nurse commenting on how I didn't need pitocin any more. I really wonder how long it had been left on when I didn't need it anymore.

This time, I'm ready. I really can't wait to give it another go. I'm strongly leaning towards hypnobabies and I am praying my insurance will cover the mw I want.

married 11/06, DD May 2009, DS  April 2011successful, natural 9lbs 6ozvbac.gif

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#10 of 102 Old 08-18-2010, 11:29 PM
 
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nerdymom, that experience you had was VERY real and so damaging, I am so sorry that happened. I don't know if you have posted for support on the vbac board or anything, but if you shared what you shared here with your honest feelings and the past trauma, I believe you would find support from others who have been there. Maybe your first stop before even doing that could be to post in the birth trauma thread. You can't gloss it over and say, oh just get past it. It's real, it affected you deeply, and has scarred your perspective on childbirth.

I personally find SO MUCH comfort in hearing from people who were in similar situations and healed. Obviously I would support going for a vbac - however, I know many woman (and these women post on the vbac board and the ICAN sites) that have had very healing CBACs. I do recall that most of them attempted vbac and it resulted in a c/s in the end, but they were in a supportive environment. I think that is KEY and so incredibly essential. That is part of why I am still unsettled on where to birth because I know that to achieve a VBAC for myself personally, I need everyone to be on board who steps in to the room.

Though it hurts, keep visiting these feelings and work through them. I don't know how much you feel that you have healed from your previous birth, but I believe women heal say, 80-90% and then Lord willing, that final bit of healing comes through the next birth.

Many women go full on for a vbac and then circumstances change where they medically need a c/s. That's hard for them but they have peace in the end. It's important to have an encouraging birth, a safe birth, and a birth where it goes down how YOU want it, even if it's maybe not how you initially choose.

It's sooo important to find a care provider who supports your ability to birth. That environment where you were treated poory is such a discouraging enviroment in which to give birth! You must have felt so unsupported.

Keep talking about it, gleaning from others who have had difficulty as well and I am confident that can be used to bring you healing, regardless of how your future birth goes.

Lastly, considering how long your labor was, if you decide to go for a vbac, I would recommend studying optimal fetal positioning. Sometimes long labors can be a result of malpositioning, and if those around you aren't knowledgable (as maybe yours weren't), you are left to your own devices to figure it out (and in the midst of labor, who is going to think of ways to help a baby turn??? yeah right!).

Alicia, wife to an loving and faithful DH, and mama to three fantastic though nutty children (cs, then an HBAC, then a VBAC!!).
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#11 of 102 Old 08-18-2010, 11:32 PM
 
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Originally Posted by nerdymom View Post
I know if I posted this anywhere else I'd get flames, (but please, if you can't say something nice in this thread please don't say anything at all) but I really don't know if I want to even try to shoot for a VBAC. I know that the hospital I will be going to (military hosp) is very supportive of VBAC, but I have so much fear and anxiety about it that I don't even want to try. I think it would be easier to go in planning a c/s than to end up with another emergency c/s.

I was treated so horribly by the doctors and nurses (at a different, civilian hosp) last time, I'd been in labor for 36 hours and they treated me like turds. I felt violated, they were rough and unkind and rude to my husband and midwives (who came with me and stayed the whole time). And the powerlessness that I felt afterward, the knowledge that for the first time in my life I had put my mind to something and I ad failed at it. That was tough.
Do your research and you will know what to do when the time comes. It's scary when a birth is less than what we want it to be but we have to be realistic about all options. You'll know what to do!!

Stacey reading.gif Happy wife to Rick coolshine.gif ,homeschooling Mama to Jacob, Noel, Joanna jumpers.gif  and a sweet stork-girl.gif due in the Spring!
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#12 of 102 Old 08-19-2010, 12:13 AM
 
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I'm a c/s mommy and will be again. I've given birth vaginally twice, but I had a transabdominal cerclage placed in 2007 after recurrent transvaginal cerclage failures. Because of the cerclage, I no longer have the option give birth vaginally. I gave birth to our 12mo old via c/s and (fingers crossed!) will birth this baby the same way many, many months from now.

Because I have experience both ways, I would personally prefer to give birth vaginally, but we each walk our own path. In my case (because of an incompetent cervix), I'm at a big risk of losing my baby and HAPPILY have a modified bionic uterus to keep my little ones tucked safely inside. I do feel like there's little understanding and find that to be so surprising among such a progressive group of women. Thanks for the thread!

Amanda, Wife to James and Mom to Bub (11/00), Gracie (5/02), Brystol (7/09), Elleigh (3/11) and Piper (10/11).  angel1.gif  Missing our angels: Bean (12/05@6w) Ainsley (10/06@10w) Zachary (4/07@22w) Sweet Pea (8/07@9w) Twin B (12/08@8w) and Lil Bit (8/10@8w).

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#13 of 102 Old 08-19-2010, 12:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I went back and forth a lot! I switched care providers several times before deciding on a homebirth midwife at the beginning of the second trimester. The hospitals in my area have high c/s rates and are very unfriendly towards vbacs and natural birthing. That was the primary reason I ended up going the homebirth route. I didn't want to have the stress of fighting for my vbac rights while I was in labor. That's awesome if you have a supportive hospital. I think the best place is where you are most comfortable, whether that be a hospital, at home, or in a birth center.
So true, especially that last bit. I'm sorry you cannot find more supportive birth professionals in your area. This area is also like that, but the military bases are different, from what I am told. If I was trying to make a decision between a civilian hosp and a direct entry mw it would be much harder!

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Nobody should have to go through what you did. I'm so sorry you had such a rotten experience. If you were intested in testing the vbac waters, you could try finding an ican meeting near you. They would be a little bias of course, but it may be encouraging. After an experience like that, though, I can understand why it could be so hard. I think birth can be such a healing thing. No matter which way you decide to go, being in control and comfortable with the situation and seeing your new little one, I hope will heal some of the hurt.
I really should go to a meeting. I haven't yet, even though I know there is a chapter near by. Maybe I will one night soon when DH is home.

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Originally Posted by mrsberman View Post
I used to feel like my c/s was a big fail, but after being on the vbac forum I realize I was just unprepared. We asked to be induced and I never looked up anything about inductions until I was researching vbacs. I also remember at some point during my labor, the nurse commenting on how I didn't need pitocin any more. I really wonder how long it had been left on when I didn't need it anymore.

This time, I'm ready. I really can't wait to give it another go. I'm strongly leaning towards hypnobabies and I am praying my insurance will cover the mw I want.
Hypnobirthing is amazing! It got me through hours and hours of back labor and all sorts of wretched things, for about 34-36 hours. If I vbac I will be hypnobirthing!!

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nerdymom, that experience you had was VERY real and so damaging, I am so sorry that happened. I don't know if you have posted for support on the vbac board or anything, but if you shared what you shared here with your honest feelings and the past trauma, I believe you would find support from others who have been there. Maybe your first stop before even doing that could be to post in the birth trauma thread. You can't gloss it over and say, oh just get past it. It's real, it affected you deeply, and has scarred your perspective on childbirth.

I personally find SO MUCH comfort in hearing from people who were in similar situations and healed. Obviously I would support going for a vbac - however, I know many woman (and these women post on the vbac board and the ICAN sites) that have had very healing CBACs. I do recall that most of them attempted vbac and it resulted in a c/s in the end, but they were in a supportive environment. I think that is KEY and so incredibly essential. That is part of why I am still unsettled on where to birth because I know that to achieve a VBAC for myself personally, I need everyone to be on board who steps in to the room.

Though it hurts, keep visiting these feelings and work through them. I don't know how much you feel that you have healed from your previous birth, but I believe women heal say, 80-90% and then Lord willing, that final bit of healing comes through the next birth.

Many women go full on for a vbac and then circumstances change where they medically need a c/s. That's hard for them but they have peace in the end. It's important to have an encouraging birth, a safe birth, and a birth where it goes down how YOU want it, even if it's maybe not how you initially choose.

It's sooo important to find a care provider who supports your ability to birth. That environment where you were treated poory is such a discouraging enviroment in which to give birth! You must have felt so unsupported.

Keep talking about it, gleaning from others who have had difficulty as well and I am confident that can be used to bring you healing, regardless of how your future birth goes.

Lastly, considering how long your labor was, if you decide to go for a vbac, I would recommend studying optimal fetal positioning. Sometimes long labors can be a result of malpositioning, and if those around you aren't knowledgable (as maybe yours weren't), you are left to your own devices to figure it out (and in the midst of labor, who is going to think of ways to help a baby turn??? yeah right!).
There is a lot of food for thought in your post, I will keep mulling it over. I feel like I've healed about 75%. I'm no longer angry about it, I'm sad still but I expect I always will have a little of that. Mostly it's the anxiety of not having met my doctor before, not knowing their policies on VBAC and if they think I'm a candidate for one of the CNMs or not. After my first visit I hope to be more at peace with the situation. Also, we did know a lot about fetal positioning, and we knew he kept flipping from anterior to posterior. I did a lot of positional things to move him around but in the end we discovered (from the surgeons report) that I had a pulled groin muscle that was preventing him from descending all the way. He was also very tangled in the cord, and his head was posterior while his body was halfway to anterior. It was a very awkward position to palpate. It's why they think I didn't dialate past 4cm.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stayseeliz View Post
Do your research and you will know what to do when the time comes. It's scary when a birth is less than what we want it to be but we have to be realistic about all options. You'll know what to do!!
thanks!

><> I'm a Christian, knitting, sewing, cooking SAHM to the fearless adventurer Jack born 11/08, and  a  USCG wife
And we are joyfully awaiting a new addition in April 2011! <><
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#14 of 102 Old 08-19-2010, 12:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by famille_huggins View Post
I'm a c/s mommy and will be again. I've given birth vaginally twice, but I had a transabdominal cerclage placed in 2007 after recurrent transvaginal cerclage failures. Because of the cerclage, I no longer have the option give birth vaginally. I gave birth to our 12mo old via c/s and (fingers crossed!) will birth this baby the same way many, many months from now.

Because I have experience both ways, I would personally prefer to give birth vaginally, but we each walk our own path. In my case (because of an incompetent cervix), I'm at a big risk of losing my baby and HAPPILY have a modified bionic uterus to keep my little ones tucked safely inside. I do feel like there's little understanding and find that to be so surprising among such a progressive group of women. Thanks for the thread!
Wow, what a story! I really love that you are continuing to build your family despite all of that. I completely understand what you mean about the lack of understanding, I saw that a lot in my first DDC. Of course then I didn't understand it all, but now, looking back, those women who were CBACing faced a lot of not very kind questioning. I really hate that. I'm glad you joined in! I will try to keep it going for us, as pressures (and babies) grow!

><> I'm a Christian, knitting, sewing, cooking SAHM to the fearless adventurer Jack born 11/08, and  a  USCG wife
And we are joyfully awaiting a new addition in April 2011! <><
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#15 of 102 Old 08-19-2010, 02:59 PM
 
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I know if I posted this anywhere else I'd get flames, (but please, if you can't say something nice in this thread please don't say anything at all) but I really don't know if I want to even try to shoot for a VBAC. I know that the hospital I will be going to (military hosp) is very supportive of VBAC, but I have so much fear and anxiety about it that I don't even want to try. I think it would be easier to go in planning a c/s than to end up with another emergency c/s.

I was treated so horribly by the doctors and nurses (at a different, civilian hosp) last time, I'd been in labor for 36 hours and they treated me like turds. I felt violated, they were rough and unkind and rude to my husband and midwives (who came with me and stayed the whole time). And the powerlessness that I felt afterward, the knowledge that for the first time in my life I had put my mind to something and I ad failed at it. That was tough.
Honestly, my VBAC was just as hard as my Cesarean. Recovery was different but took nearly as long. If we didn't want more children I don't know what I do. If this is your last child it is not as big of a deal then if you want more. Even though both experiences for me were fairly traumatic the VBAC was less so because I did do it. I can say I did it.

In a nutshell:

DS - Induced 41 1/2w, sent home. Went back 41w6d to try again. Had a very impatient midwife and ended up with a c/s at 6pm on a Sunday night. I had only been on pit for 4 or 5 hours when she started saying things like, "You better think about whether or not this baby is going to come out of your vagina." Very very about his birth.

DD - Had low milk supply (IGT) with DS so I had been pumping once a day from 39w on to help bring in my help. 39w5d PROM. Lador did not start. 12 hours later I took castor oil, went to hospital 6 hours later, nipple stim to keep labor going, At 33 hours past PROM I agreed to pit. A few hours later I got an epidural because I was utterly exhausted and needed to sleep. After my nap they shut off the epidural but DD's heart was dropping when I was pushing so I was flat on my back pushing uphill. She was born 44 hours after my water broke. My midwife (different practice!) was in the hospital with me for over 24 hours. Yes, she came out of my vagina but I could barely move for days. It was awful.

I can understand the desire for a repeat c/s. I cannot go through labor like that again. My mantra this time is 'NO PIT'. (Although I do know it was necessary last time). I don't know if I can do it without the epidural. Maybe I have a lower pain tolerance than others. I don't know. Thank God babies take 9 months to bake. I need ALL of that time to get myself together.

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DS 7.5, DD 5 (vbac), DD 2.5 (vbac), and DD 12/30/13 (vbac)

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#16 of 102 Old 08-19-2010, 07:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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wow. that is one hell of a birth. Both of them, but especially your VBAC. So this time have you decided to VBAC unless labor does not start on it's own? And lot's of vitamin C and K for your membranes? wow, what a journey.

><> I'm a Christian, knitting, sewing, cooking SAHM to the fearless adventurer Jack born 11/08, and  a  USCG wife
And we are joyfully awaiting a new addition in April 2011! <><
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#17 of 102 Old 08-23-2010, 12:13 PM
 
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I wrote out my entire birth for my August 09 DDC after my son was born, but it accidentally all got erased, and I was so mad and tired, and hormonal, I never went back and rewrote it. LOL. So...I'll say it here briefly, and it will make me feel better.

My entire pregnancy and birth was straight from hell...cramps worse than labor, ectopic scares, M/C scares, (morning) sick for 7 months, slept almost 24/7 most of the pregnancy, I was THAT tired, constant heart palpitations, pre-term labor at 32 weeks...I was with a midwife who now, as I look back, I am very angry at how many risks she took with my life and my baby. At 36 weeks, my herbs to stop labor just stopped working, and I KNEW that my body wasn't going to buy them anymore, so I just went off them. I went into labor at 36w1d where I continued to dilate and efface until 37w5d, but he just wouldn't drop. During this time, I was on a halter monitor for my heart and had an echo, which resulted in my HB being nixed. The Cardiologist sent me straight from his office to ER, because my BP was 170/110 expecting my baby to be delivered that night, but because the OB wasn't on my ins, they refused to do anything but monitor and give Nubane. The next day, the Social Services worker came in my room, dropped a phone book in my lap, and said, "find someone who will take you and is on your ins." I called 6-8 groups with 5+ drs each, and NO ONE would take me. They all said I was too high risk with no history with them. Finally, in tears, I told the nurse that I couldn't find anyone, and she said she'd make a call. Enter my WONDERFUL OB, the sweetest man from Nigeria. I couldn't get an appt until 3 days later, but by the time I went in to see him, my BP had risen to 190/120. I went immediately to the hospital, they broke my water and started me on Pit. I did Pitocin for 12 hours with nothing for pain, it was up to 36 drops/hr. When I started there, I was 80% and 7 cm. After 20 hours, and 66 drops/hr, I had gotten to 100%, but was STILL only 7 cm. I had an emergency CS 20 min later.
At my follow up appt, I asked him if I EVER would have delivered that baby on my own. He looked at me, and said, "No, you would not have".

Idk...my MW never said ONE WORD about the condition I was in, that i might need to think about going to the hospital - NOTHING!

So, all that to say, Nerdymom - I hear you. I can only go back to him now, IF I have another CS. Only ONE dr in our entire area of Akron/Canton/Cleveland does VBACs. I haven't made up my mind for sure, but I can tell you, I NEVER want to go through that hell again!

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#18 of 102 Old 08-23-2010, 04:31 PM
 
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I wanted to point out one thing you said nerdymom, you said

"the knowledge that for the first time in my life I had put my mind to something and I ad failed at it. That was tough."

I just wanted to say that I know exactly where you're coming from because I've been there too. My 2nd c/s was a "failed" vbac. And as much as it pained me to consent to another c-section, I'll never stop trying because I refuse to acknowledge that I have "failed" at anything. And by giving in to my fear, there are no winners. You have to ask yourself, if you have an elective, scheduled cesarean for this birth, do you think you will feel relief at the end? Because if not then I'd recommend vbac. A vbac experience probably won't be perfect either, but you could at least tell yourself you didn't go down without a fight. For me, I could never throw in the towel... Like I personally look at it like, I DONT want another csection if I had a choice. If I schedule, I know for sure the worst will happen. If I attempt vbac, I've got as good of chance as any for succeeding.

Also I wanted to reiterate whAt someone else said about having more kids. If you want more after this baby and you've had a csection this time, you'll be left with very little choice but to either schedule a csection in a hospital (no TOL allowed) or go the home birth route. That's the situation I'm in with 2 prior sections and no OB will even have a conversation with me about a TOL. I am risked out because of the second csection. I will be home birthing this time so I still have faith I'll get my vbac after all.

I just wanted to give u my perspective on those things. I know it's hard to see and think of every angle which is why mdc is so wonderful! Good luck, whatever you decide!

Wife to John, Mom to Melanie (1/08), Deklan (5/09) and stork-suprise.gif due April 11, 2011 h20homebirth.gif vbac.gif & just started cd.gif
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#19 of 102 Old 08-23-2010, 05:40 PM
 
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wow. that is one hell of a birth. Both of them, but especially your VBAC. So this time have you decided to VBAC unless labor does not start on it's own? And lot's of vitamin C and K for your membranes? wow, what a journey.
I'll VBAC no matter what. I'm saving money for a doula and I'll be on my knees the next eight months praying for an easy labor & delivery. Last time I just prayed for a VBAC. I think I need to be more specific. lol.

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DS 7.5, DD 5 (vbac), DD 2.5 (vbac), and DD 12/30/13 (vbac)

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#20 of 102 Old 08-23-2010, 09:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I wrote out my entire birth for my August 09 DDC after my son was born, but it accidentally all got erased, and I was so mad and tired, and hormonal, I never went back and rewrote it. LOL. So...I'll say it here briefly, and it will make me feel better.

My entire pregnancy and birth was straight from hell...cramps worse than labor, ectopic scares, M/C scares, (morning) sick for 7 months, slept almost 24/7 most of the pregnancy, I was THAT tired, constant heart palpitations, pre-term labor at 32 weeks...I was with a midwife who now, as I look back, I am very angry at how many risks she took with my life and my baby. At 36 weeks, my herbs to stop labor just stopped working, and I KNEW that my body wasn't going to buy them anymore, so I just went off them. I went into labor at 36w1d where I continued to dilate and efface until 37w5d, but he just wouldn't drop. During this time, I was on a halter monitor for my heart and had an echo, which resulted in my HB being nixed. The Cardiologist sent me straight from his office to ER, because my BP was 170/110 expecting my baby to be delivered that night, but because the OB wasn't on my ins, they refused to do anything but monitor and give Nubane. The next day, the Social Services worker came in my room, dropped a phone book in my lap, and said, "find someone who will take you and is on your ins." I called 6-8 groups with 5+ drs each, and NO ONE would take me. They all said I was too high risk with no history with them. Finally, in tears, I told the nurse that I couldn't find anyone, and she said she'd make a call. Enter my WONDERFUL OB, the sweetest man from Nigeria. I couldn't get an appt until 3 days later, but by the time I went in to see him, my BP had risen to 190/120. I went immediately to the hospital, they broke my water and started me on Pit. I did Pitocin for 12 hours with nothing for pain, it was up to 36 drops/hr. When I started there, I was 80% and 7 cm. After 20 hours, and 66 drops/hr, I had gotten to 100%, but was STILL only 7 cm. I had an emergency CS 20 min later.
At my follow up appt, I asked him if I EVER would have delivered that baby on my own. He looked at me, and said, "No, you would not have".

Idk...my MW never said ONE WORD about the condition I was in, that i might need to think about going to the hospital - NOTHING!

So, all that to say, Nerdymom - I hear you. I can only go back to him now, IF I have another CS. Only ONE dr in our entire area of Akron/Canton/Cleveland does VBACs. I haven't made up my mind for sure, but I can tell you, I NEVER want to go through that hell again!
Wow, that is really tough. I cannot believe that an OB could drop you as a patient at that point. I am so sorry your midwife didn't communicate with you better. If you can find a supportive MW, that would probably be your best chance for a VBAC in your situation. I can understand your hesitancy 100% though! Maybe if you interview a few MWs, and see how comfortable you are with them, if it feels natural or not. I will say, not all MWs are created the same. Mine were FANTASTIC, and I am so thankful knowing that I received competent care the whole time.

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I wanted to point out one thing you said nerdymom, you said

"the knowledge that for the first time in my life I had put my mind to something and I ad failed at it. That was tough."

I just wanted to say that I know exactly where you're coming from because I've been there too. My 2nd c/s was a "failed" vbac. And as much as it pained me to consent to another c-section, I'll never stop trying because I refuse to acknowledge that I have "failed" at anything. And by giving in to my fear, there are no winners. You have to ask yourself, if you have an elective, scheduled cesarean for this birth, do you think you will feel relief at the end? Because if not then I'd recommend vbac. A vbac experience probably won't be perfect either, but you could at least tell yourself you didn't go down without a fight. For me, I could never throw in the towel... Like I personally look at it like, I DONT want another csection if I had a choice. If I schedule, I know for sure the worst will happen. If I attempt vbac, I've got as good of chance as any for succeeding.

Also I wanted to reiterate whAt someone else said about having more kids. If you want more after this baby and you've had a csection this time, you'll be left with very little choice but to either schedule a csection in a hospital (no TOL allowed) or go the home birth route. That's the situation I'm in with 2 prior sections and no OB will even have a conversation with me about a TOL. I am risked out because of the second csection. I will be home birthing this time so I still have faith I'll get my vbac after all.

I just wanted to give u my perspective on those things. I know it's hard to see and think of every angle which is why mdc is so wonderful! Good luck, whatever you decide!
Thanks. Your insight is very encouraging. I know I want to go to my first appointment and have a really honest conversation with my CNM or Ob (whomever they assign me to) about the whole situation and how I feel about it before I make any decisions. But we definitely DO want to have more kids, probably at least 3 but no more than 6. I am fairly certain I will plan a VBAC but it's really scary for me at the same time.

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I'll VBAC no matter what. I'm saving money for a doula and I'll be on my knees the next eight months praying for an easy labor & delivery. Last time I just prayed for a VBAC. I think I need to be more specific. lol.
rofl!

><> I'm a Christian, knitting, sewing, cooking SAHM to the fearless adventurer Jack born 11/08, and  a  USCG wife
And we are joyfully awaiting a new addition in April 2011! <><
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#21 of 102 Old 08-24-2010, 01:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have a question. Anyone else having a lot of pain around their scar? I keep having these awful shooting pains in my pelvis/right around my scar. I had a lot of those pains when I was recovering too, for about a year afterward. Now they are back. It's like someone sticking needles in through my scar down through my labia. OUCHIE!

><> I'm a Christian, knitting, sewing, cooking SAHM to the fearless adventurer Jack born 11/08, and  a  USCG wife
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#22 of 102 Old 08-24-2010, 07:05 PM
 
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Wow, that is really tough. I cannot believe that an OB could drop you as a patient at that point. I am so sorry your midwife didn't communicate with you better. If you can find a supportive MW, that would probably be your best chance for a VBAC in your situation. I can understand your hesitancy 100% though! Maybe if you interview a few MWs, and see how comfortable you are with them, if it feels natural or not. I will say, not all MWs are created the same. Mine were FANTASTIC, and I am so thankful knowing that I received competent care the whole time.
See...I had had a midwife the whole time, and it was only the OB at the hospital ER that refused to do anything more than dope me up. lol.

The other problem I have here in Ohio, is that VBACs with midwives are 100% ILLEGAL. So...I'm stuck with going back to the very experienced, but unlicensed MW I had last time, or going with the one Dr. who does them.

Is it me, or am I insane to feel that I don't/can't trust her (my mw from last time) anymore?

Wife, 27, to DH, 33, and Mama to DS1 Josiah - 8/09, DS2 James - 3/11, 10 angel babies, 3 foster children, and one adorable ALMOST ADOPTED son - 5/05 

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#23 of 102 Old 08-24-2010, 10:05 PM
 
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Hi Moms! I'm new here. Just found out I am pregnant yesterday. So my EDD is actually May 3, but no DD Club yet. Can I hang out here? I'd say there's about a zero percent chance I'd actually have an "early" baby.

I've had 3 C/S. None by choice. I tried homebirth all three times.

DS1: Water broke 2 days after EDD. Labor didn't really start. Ended up at a hospital and was induced. Hard labor, no pain meds for 25 hours. Stuck at 6cm.
Lesson learned: Shouldn't have told docs my water broke until labor started on it's own or a couple days later. They should have kept their hands out of there and there would be no concern for infection.
Emotions: Heart broken. Angry and sad until next birth.

DS2: Water broke 2 days after EDD. Labor started, doc, nurse, and doula at house. Protein spilling in urine and high BP. Transfered in own car to hospital. Epidural to lower BP. C/S after 23 hours and no progression past 6cm.
Lesson Learned: MY doula wasn't helpful. I should not have been lying in bed with a monitor! I should have demanded to be up and about.
Emotions: Sad. Not as bad as the first time. I don't think this one was avoidable.

DD1: Couldn't find a doctor to attend a VBA2C. Found a HB midwife to attend me. Ten days past EDD, she said I should present to the hospital, she no longer felt okay attending me. With no options, I went to the hospital and they did a C/S without any labor ever starting.
Lesson Learned: I'm screwed next time.
Emotions: Let down. Relieved to get the baby out! Felt the best physically after birth.

I don't know what in the world I'm going to do this time. I don't believe I have any choice but another C/S (in Illinois.) Emotionally it's easier to be resigned to that. I just need to find a provider I can deal with (or can deal with me.)

Fortunately I never had much trouble nursing as a result of the C/S. I have nursed the first 2 kids until 3 to 3 1/2. The baby (20 months) is still going too.

Mom to 5 amazing kids! (DS8, DS7, DD4, DD2 and DS0)

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#24 of 102 Old 08-24-2010, 11:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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See...I had had a midwife the whole time, and it was only the OB at the hospital ER that refused to do anything more than dope me up. lol.

The other problem I have here in Ohio, is that VBACs with midwives are 100% ILLEGAL. So...I'm stuck with going back to the very experienced, but unlicensed MW I had last time, or going with the one Dr. who does them.

Is it me, or am I insane to feel that I don't/can't trust her (my mw from last time) anymore?
I don't think I could go back to that MW, considering you felt that she endangered your life and did not adequately communicate what a dangerous situation you were in, and how serious the escalation of your symptoms were. You ought to be able to trust your care provider, and if you can't, then you should be able to go elsewhere.

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Hi Moms! I'm new here. Just found out I am pregnant yesterday. So my EDD is actually May 3, but no DD Club yet. Can I hang out here? I'd say there's about a zero percent chance I'd actually have an "early" baby.

I've had 3 C/S. None by choice. I tried homebirth all three times.

DS1: Water broke 2 days after EDD. Labor didn't really start. Ended up at a hospital and was induced. Hard labor, no pain meds for 25 hours. Stuck at 6cm.
Lesson learned: Shouldn't have told docs my water broke until labor started on it's own or a couple days later. They should have kept their hands out of there and there would be no concern for infection.
Emotions: Heart broken. Angry and sad until next birth.

DS2: Water broke 2 days after EDD. Labor started, doc, nurse, and doula at house. Protein spilling in urine and high BP. Transfered in own car to hospital. Epidural to lower BP. C/S after 23 hours and no progression past 6cm.
Lesson Learned: MY doula wasn't helpful. I should not have been lying in bed with a monitor! I should have demanded to be up and about.
Emotions: Sad. Not as bad as the first time. I don't think this one was avoidable.

DD1: Couldn't find a doctor to attend a VBA2C. Found a HB midwife to attend me. Ten days past EDD, she said I should present to the hospital, she no longer felt okay attending me. With no options, I went to the hospital and they did a C/S without any labor ever starting.
Lesson Learned: I'm screwed next time.
Emotions: Let down. Relieved to get the baby out! Felt the best physically after birth.

I don't know what in the world I'm going to do this time. I don't believe I have any choice but another C/S (in Illinois.) Emotionally it's easier to be resigned to that. I just need to find a provider I can deal with (or can deal with me.)

Fortunately I never had much trouble nursing as a result of the C/S. I have nursed the first 2 kids until 3 to 3 1/2. The baby (20 months) is still going too.
Too bad! If you were in VA I would point you in the direction of a great HB MW who regularly does VBAMCs. I think her highest was a VBA5C. And she is fabulous. If I could afford to do a HB again this time I'd have her in a heartbeat. I hope you can find a doc that your feel comfortable, even if you do have a CBAC. Also, feel free to keep hanging out with us here. CBAC moms tend to be misunderstood and judged a lot on these boards, unfortunately. I want to keep this an open, debate and judgment-free thread. Just support here, no matter your birth!

><> I'm a Christian, knitting, sewing, cooking SAHM to the fearless adventurer Jack born 11/08, and  a  USCG wife
And we are joyfully awaiting a new addition in April 2011! <><
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#25 of 102 Old 08-25-2010, 12:23 PM
 
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I don't know what in the world I'm going to do this time. I don't believe I have any choice but another C/S (in Illinois.) Emotionally it's easier to be resigned to that. I just need to find a provider I can deal with (or can deal with me.)

Fortunately I never had much trouble nursing as a result of the C/S. I have nursed the first 2 kids until 3 to 3 1/2. The baby (20 months) is still going too.
Get in touch with your local ICAN chapter if you are not. Don't give up yet. There are some beautiful youtube videos of women VBAMC. If you have to have a cesarean you can make it the best it can be for you and baby. Wait to go into natural labor, have baby put on your chest right after birth, etc.

Taryn-31 Crunchy Conservative Catholic SAHM with DH-32
DS 7.5, DD 5 (vbac), DD 2.5 (vbac), and DD 12/30/13 (vbac)

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#26 of 102 Old 08-25-2010, 02:20 PM
 
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Too bad! If you were in VA I would point you in the direction of a great HB MW who regularly does VBAMCs. I think her highest was a VBA5C. And she is fabulous. If I could afford to do a HB again this time I'd have her in a heartbeat. I hope you can find a doc that your feel comfortable, even if you do have a CBAC. Also, feel free to keep hanging out with us here. CBAC moms tend to be misunderstood and judged a lot on these boards, unfortunately. I want to keep this an open, debate and judgment-free thread. Just support here, no matter your birth!
You guys are great! I will definately hang around! I never thought I'd find myself resigned to a C/S. And who knows, if another option presents itself, I would be happy.

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Get in touch with your local ICAN chapter if you are not. Don't give up yet. There are some beautiful youtube videos of women VBAMC. If you have to have a cesarean you can make it the best it can be for you and baby. Wait to go into natural labor, have baby put on your chest right after birth, etc.
That's what I intend to do. With my 2nd baby, I was never separated. He nursed in the O.R.! It was great! Unfortunately that hospital closed.

I'm not afraid to speak up to get what I want! I'm a chiropractor and that's usually all I have to say, before the M.D.'s back off and understand that I've researched and determined what I want and they aren't going to change my mind.

IL is just so hard. I had such a hard time last time finding anyone who would attend me. She is a naturopathic doctor who doesn't really advertise being a HB Midwife. I can't believe she left me high and dry when I was 10 days "late." She asked me to make up a story that I was just in the area visiting when I went into labor off and on and presented to the hospital. She'd go with me as my "doula." She changed my records to say I was only 3 days past due and blocked her name off of it. The MD's who attended my first births and specialize in HB and no Vax, can't even attend a VBA2C anymore due to their malpractice insurance. Frustrating!

It is hard to trust your body after 3 C/S while trying so hard for a HB. Right now, I'm thinking my strategy will be to find a minimally invasive (with monitoring and testing) M.D. who will work with me and my desires. I'll start by visiting the MD's who attended my first two births and seeing if they have any collegues who will fit the bill.

Mom to 5 amazing kids! (DS8, DS7, DD4, DD2 and DS0)

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#27 of 102 Old 09-09-2010, 01:06 PM
 
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Well let's hope third time is the charm!

Hi ladies...I'm due in April, anywhere from April 11th to the 27th...LOL

This is my third baby. My first two were c/s. The first time I was scared into an induction @ 40 wks, my body was in no way ready, and after 36 hours, I was only 4cm and the OB declared I had to have a c/s. 10 months later, we found we were expecting #2, and I knew I wanted to VBAC...which turned into an HBAC. My MW tweaked out around 33wks, and started treating me like a bomb that was about to explode. It was basically a home induction and very traumatic for me. We ended up transferring after 24 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing. I pushed for another 2 hours at the hospital, before we decided to do another c/s. My ctx were 10 minutes apart and they said pitocin or c/s. I have a lot of regrets, a lot of guilt, and a good amount of anger at my care providers.

I was just looking for an OB this time who would let me go into labor before coming in for a c/s. I was absolutely sure no one would let me even attempt a VBA2C. Much to my surprise, my OB actually WANTS me to VBA2C and has no reservations about it at all. He said we'd talk if I made it to 42 weeks without any signs of labor, but otherwise, there was no reason why I couldn't VBA2C. So I'm starting to hope again. Not sure if that's wise. LOL As others have said, it's hard to trust your body...and I really don't know how I'll be emotionally if I end up with another c/s. I think I'll be ok, since I already accepted a c/s...but who knows how it all will end.

~S~ Mom to W ('04) & D ('05) & in April
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#28 of 102 Old 09-09-2010, 01:44 PM
 
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Well let's hope third time is the charm!

Hi ladies...I'm due in April, anywhere from April 11th to the 27th...LOL

This is my third baby. My first two were c/s. The first time I was scared into an induction @ 40 wks, my body was in no way ready, and after 36 hours, I was only 4cm and the OB declared I had to have a c/s. 10 months later, we found we were expecting #2, and I knew I wanted to VBAC...which turned into an HBAC. My MW tweaked out around 33wks, and started treating me like a bomb that was about to explode. It was basically a home induction and very traumatic for me. We ended up transferring after 24 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing. I pushed for another 2 hours at the hospital, before we decided to do another c/s. My ctx were 10 minutes apart and they said pitocin or c/s. I have a lot of regrets, a lot of guilt, and a good amount of anger at my care providers.

I was just looking for an OB this time who would let me go into labor before coming in for a c/s. I was absolutely sure no one would let me even attempt a VBA2C. Much to my surprise, my OB actually WANTS me to VBA2C and has no reservations about it at all. He said we'd talk if I made it to 42 weeks without any signs of labor, but otherwise, there was no reason why I couldn't VBA2C. So I'm starting to hope again. Not sure if that's wise. LOL As others have said, it's hard to trust your body...and I really don't know how I'll be emotionally if I end up with another c/s. I think I'll be ok, since I already accepted a c/s...but who knows how it all will end.
My first thought was after reading about your inductions was - you just need to be able to go into labor on your own and your body will take care of it . The ability to give birth is so much hindered by something other than ourselves or our baby saying it's time to go. That is fantastic you have an OB not only "allowing" but encouraging you to labor and give birth!! I am confident you can do this!

Alicia, wife to an loving and faithful DH, and mama to three fantastic though nutty children (cs, then an HBAC, then a VBAC!!).
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#29 of 102 Old 09-09-2010, 05:28 PM
 
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The other problem I have here in Ohio, is that VBACs with midwives are 100% ILLEGAL.
This is incorrect. I live in Ohio (south of Dayton) and there are midwives around here that do VBACs. Depending on the hospital, CNMs may or may not be permitted to attend them, but that's hospital policy, not law. There are definitely CPMs here and several in Columbus that attend VBACs. There are no laws in Ohio banning any practitioner from attending VBACs. The only issue we have is the absence of licensing laws for CPMs.

ETA: Forgot to talk about me! I had a C/S with DS. I won't go into the story right now. I'm planning a UBAC for this one, for various reasons.

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#30 of 102 Old 09-09-2010, 05:59 PM
 
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Location: St. Louis
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Originally Posted by CookAMH View Post
My first thought was after reading about your inductions was - you just need to be able to go into labor on your own and your body will take care of it . The ability to give birth is so much hindered by something other than ourselves or our baby saying it's time to go. That is fantastic you have an OB not only "allowing" but encouraging you to labor and give birth!! I am confident you can do this!
I agree. I thought, as a homebirth midwife, she would trust birth - but she most certainly did not think I could do it. I wish she would have been honest and passed me off to an OB rather than going through what I did.

While I'm afraid to hope too much, I'm trying to be positive that, yes I can do it. I've had two trial runs, and now it's time for the big show...LOL.

~S~ Mom to W ('04) & D ('05) & in April
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