Anyone else NOT done anything yet? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 26 Old 01-06-2011, 01:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I feel horrible looking through the threads here and seeing how much everyone is getting ready for the upcoming babies. I have barely done anything. I have a few baby things but not much considering we have to start from the beginning again with this baby. I haven't even decided for sure where I'm going to deliver or with what caregiver if any. I don't have any names picked out. I don't even have a list to choose from yet. How awful is that? I'm 6 mos into this pregnancy and I don't have baby stuff or a name picked out. I keep saying that it would be easier if I knew what the baby was but part of me doesn't mind the idea of the surprise. I just need to get motivated to get ready for this baby. Anyone else NOT getting ready yet? I feel awful.


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#2 of 26 Old 01-06-2011, 01:21 PM
 
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that would be me!  I have done NOTHING other than make the registry.  I do have a midwife, but she delivered DD2, so that was no brainer.  And someone gave us a crib, but I'm not planning to use it.  We have one name for each sex in mind, but definitely not lists.  I had names in mind for my other kids before they were born and ended up not even using them anyway.  And it took us over a week each time to come up with names.  It's nice to have a little list to choose from, but none of those names may suit your baby when you finally meet them.

 

I also feel a bit limited about what I can do b/c we don't know the sex.  I cringe at the thought of the baby always in yellow or green, but don't feel good about buying gender specific colors either.  And since we're having a shower I don't really want to get anything else until I know what gifts we'll get.  I'm hoping the family will get the big items like the stroller, the carseat, cosleeper, glider rocker etc. (this baby will have 4 sets of grandparents so I think they'll get the big stuff). 

 

All I really feel like I need to do is clean the house and rearrange some things, but I don't feel like I need to start doing that anytime soon.  Especially not with 3 messy big kids in the house... it would be a total waste of time. 

 

My biggest priority right now is selling my Outback.  :(  I love my car, but it won't work for 6 people.  Once I sell it then I need to find a minivan, but even that can wait till Feb or March as far as I'm concerned.


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#3 of 26 Old 01-06-2011, 01:30 PM
 
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I haven't really done anything either.  I am just now beginning to look for a crib on craigslist.  Oh, I did buy an Amby Hammock for downstairs.  I sold all of our stuff from our last two boys thinking we were done, but am not keen on replacing it all since I'm so sick of my living room being littered with plastics and baby items are so bulky and big.

 

I do have a midwife, but haven't scheduled an anatomy scan.  I'll get around to it someday.

 

The baby's room is still the guest room and probably will be until baby arrives.  I figure if it's a girl (we have 2 boys) that she can just wear some boys' clothes for a few days until we get something a little more girly.  I still have plenty of carriers, wraps, strollers, etc from the first 2 since they are only 3.5 and 20 months.  I really don't NEED anything and I'm feeling a little sad for this baby because I'm not planning and nesting for him/her like I did with the others.


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#4 of 26 Old 01-06-2011, 01:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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That's my biggest issue for clothes. I hate the idea of all yellow or green but can't bring myself to buy gender specific stuff when I don't know the gender. Luckily when my car tore up last year we replaced it with a 3rd row seat Durango so we have enough space already. Our big ticket item is getting a new camper. We travel with dh for work and the camper we're in now is really small and just won't work once the baby gets here so we need to find a new camper. That won't be done until Feb or March though after income tax. I don't feel much like getting many baby things until we have the space either. I guess maybe I should make a list of stuff. That would at least be a start. Or maybe find a baby craft to work on. Something to get me in the mood. I'd been blaming the stalling on needing to get the other house ready to sell but that is pretty much done now and I'm still not there. I just feel horrible that the baby will be here in a couple of months and I'm no where near ready. I don't even have the desire to work on it.


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#5 of 26 Old 01-06-2011, 05:03 PM
 
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Well...I have my provider and all that set.  And we are pretty set with name options.  We have a crib. Not set up- its in pieces.  Other than that nothing.  No point doing anything as long as the room is in chaos. Plus, I freak out everytime I think about the actual baby being here.  No furniture to keep any baby stuff in.  and when we were looking I got super overwhelmed.   I hope once we get the organizing part done the rest will fall into place easier.  I hope. We are planning on doing some organizing Sunday.  Hope that works out for us!! 


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#6 of 26 Old 01-06-2011, 08:35 PM
 
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I haven't done much yet either. Some baby clothes I gathered from my baby crazy pre-prego days, but that's it. I feel like I can't do anything until February. My husband is in an internship program and won't find out where he's going until then even though it starts in March!!! Anyhow, I don't know where we'll be living so I don't know what we'll have room for... plus, with plans to breastfeed and co-sleep there is less to buy... can't get excited over toys because they're all cheap and plastic... also, no chain stores in our town so nowhere to shop. But you're not alone!!!! I'm glad I still have 3 months or else I'd be trying to diaper with dish cloths! ROTFLMAO.gif


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#7 of 26 Old 01-06-2011, 09:08 PM
 
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Add me to the list of people who haven't done much. I don't feel there's much to do. I have a care provider and birth location that I'm satisfied with, that's the important thing right now. I haven't really begun to think about the birth yet, in terms of preparing myself for it, but I think there's a little bit of time for that yet.

 

Knowing that it's a girl, I could be buying some clothes, but I'm afraid of jinxing the scan and that she'll turn out to be a boy duck.gif plus I have a neighbor/friend who has cultural superstitions about buying anything for the baby before it arrives, and some of that has rubbed off on me. And this sounds silly but I have no idea how big she'll be. Both my boys were 9+ lbs and grew fast, and barely fit in the newborn sizes. If she's smaller (you know, a teensy weensy 7.5 lb baby lol) and grows more slowly, I might actually need newborn sizes. So we'll wait and see on that. I do want to knit some longies for the baby, so one of these days I'll go hunt for some nice soft (pink!!) yarn and do some knitting.

 

There's not much else to do, for us anyway. We'll put up the cosleeper when i'm in early labor, or DH will do it after she arrives while I'm still at the hospital. I'll get out baby clothes and dipes and wash them in the those last few weeks. That's about it, really :)


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#8 of 26 Old 01-07-2011, 08:05 AM
 
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Me. Haven't done a thing. Due to school schedule and where my due date falls, I'll have a good month and a half (assuming baby arrives around due date) of free time to get the apartment ready, do last minute shopping, etc. so I'm kind of pushing stuff off until then.

 

I'll start thinking about a registry at some point in the next few weeks, but apart from research various things (cloth diapers, etc.) I haven't done anything to prepare in terms of "stuff." We did hire a doula and sign up for childbirth classes. First doula meeting is next week. I'm excited!


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#9 of 26 Old 01-07-2011, 08:13 AM
 
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I am so relieved that we do not really need anything for this baby (other than a few outfits if it were to turn out to be a boy). The only things I have done are sort and organize my older kids' outgrown clothing, and bought a few medium AIOs to replace the ones we have that are no longer waterproof. We've been dealing with a family catastrophe since the end of November (my mother and my aunt were killed by a drunk driver in Florida), so this pregnancy has been completely neglected. I haven't even had all the appointments I would normally have with my midwife; I've barely been able to remember to take a prenatal vitamin, forget about eating properly, exercising, etc.

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#10 of 26 Old 01-07-2011, 09:09 AM
 
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Yamilee! I am so sorry about your loss! How tragic :( My mom got really sick and has been in the ICU since the end of Nov, so I can empathize with how a pregnancy can get lost with life events going on... but still, my stress is nothing compared to what you're dealing with. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


Allison.... mom of DS1 (7) and DS2 (4) and awaiting #3 near the end of April 2011
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#11 of 26 Old 01-07-2011, 11:38 AM
 
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hug2.gifYamilee

 

 

 

I have some things purchased, the room cleaned out and I have more to do but I'm just not going to stress over it.  I used to be a huge list maker, super type A personality, I've relaxed since then. wink1.gif  Life is much more peaceful this way.  I just do a little here and a little there, we will have the necessities once baby comes.  I did create an amazon registry for myself and have lists from the midwife so I see no need to go create more lists. :lol  Maybe some other nesting instinct will kick in at some point but if not I am perfectly happy to remain calm and at peace with how things are coming along.


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#12 of 26 Old 01-08-2011, 05:51 AM
 
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Yamilee- I am so sorry for your loss.  What a horrible thing to go through.  My thoughts are definitely with you and your family. 

 


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#13 of 26 Old 01-08-2011, 07:16 AM
 
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Yamilee- I am so sorry! :(

 

 

Add me to the list of not ready.   I always end up having everything ready too soon, then nothing left to do but WAIT.  This time I'm waiting till closer to time, LOL.   I already have our co-sleeper and most of the clothing, I'll just need to clean, set it up, and go through the clothes to pick up anything I may be needing.   So really not that much to do, and can be done in March or so ;-)


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#14 of 26 Old 01-08-2011, 07:55 AM
 
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Yamilee: I am so sorry for your loss...I cannot imagine losing my Mom let alone two close family members at anytime, let alone while being pregnant. As a side note regarding drunk drivers, I was on another forum last night (insomnia) and was called "snarkey" and told to get off my high horse when I suggested that another poster's fear and depression over her boyfriend and mother being drunks who stay out all night and leave her home alone should not be blamed on HER HORMONES. I was called "insensitive and rude" for suggesting that she needed to make changes in her support system when she signed on again and alerted the board that her boyfriend was locked up in jail for DUI. I wonder if those who opposed my views would be so quick to label me as they did if that woman's boyfriend had caused a tragedy such as yours and still blame the woman's body chemicals for her being upset over her situation!

 

Anyway, enough of that and back to the subject here....with my first baby (2009) it took my Mom calling me up 3 weeks before my EDD and saying "don't you think we should maybe go buy some things for the baby?" before I actually went out and gathered the items that I needed. I had made a list of the essentials, just had not actually gotten around to collecting them at that point. Then after my daughter's birth I realized that there were a few things that I should have gotten prior to the birth which included a breast pump and some other "boob maintenance" items. Since I was breastfeeding and co-sleeping there was no need to go crazy. Just the basics and anything I felt would be a nice addition in the house I would grab as I needed them.

 

We are still up in the air on whether or not we will find out the baby's sex...and really that does not bother me. I still have all of my daughter's clothes from birth until present and if it turns out to be a boy, I don't think Joan Rivers is going to be magically transported to my home to read me the riot act regarding a male wearing pink! We will be co-sleeping, and I already have a Snuggle Nest and Snug Tuck pillow for our family bed. I will be breastfeeding and already have the pump and all the bells and whistles that I will need....just might have to launder the breastfeeding pillow and make sure I have storage bags. Since we just moved to our new farm last year and have had contractors working on our home, I still need to organize and grab some furniture items....but nothing baby specific. I just try to remain mellow about it, it's a baby....not a flight to the moon.

 

Nesting will kick in hard sometime between now and when the little ones arrive....and we will all go into hyper-mom mode. It will be the only time that I WANT to scrub the house from floor to ceiling and vacuum the walls and re-arrange the toilet paper and all that nonsense that seems to be so important during the nesting period. I'm just going to wait for that....but I am cooking meals and freezing them so the old husband won't starve when I don't feel like cooking for the first week postpartum!

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#15 of 26 Old 01-08-2011, 08:01 AM
 
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Oh and Crazyms....what does your DH do that requires you to travel in the camper? That's Cool!!!!

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#16 of 26 Old 01-08-2011, 10:07 AM
 
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Yamilee, i am so sorry for your tragic loss. please take extra gentle care of yourself.

 

i haven't done much of anything to prepare for this babe beyond mw appointments, and fantasy knitting. i plan on actually getting started knitting a few gender neutral diaper covers/hats/booties in oatmeals, browns, etc this weekend, and i bought a mattress protector at ikea a few weeks ago, but other than some meals for the freezer, i plan on taking it easy til the birth. this is our fourth baby, we're pretty well stocked on diapers, carriers, clothes, etc. and we cosleep and breastfeed, so i don't need any bedding/feeding etc stuff. we'll need a new carseat, but i'm hoping to receive that as a gift from family/friends, as i've dropped enough hints that that's all we need. we've talked about names some, but will wait to meet the babe to decide. i'm just trying to enjoy this time as a family of five and not stress or panic about what needs to be done.

 

i'll revisit this post again in march when full-on nesting begins and get a chuckle out of this post, i'm sure.

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#17 of 26 Old 01-08-2011, 06:17 PM
 
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Yamilee, I can't imagine but I am sending you all my love and strength!

 

 

 

 

 


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#18 of 26 Old 01-08-2011, 06:29 PM
 
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Crazyms, we're going to move into a little 22 ft motorhome before baby is born and travel the country (after baby is born)!  How cool to find someone in the ddc has a similar lifestyle!

 

For those who don't want all yellow and green clothes, I'll give you my perspective.  We never find out the sex and it's not a problem because A) I hate pink and B) I hate typical baby clothes in pastels covered with little flowers or puppies, or baseball bats!  The baby clothes I like tends to be mostly gender neutral--organic earth tones, bright orange sleeper that looks like a carrot, bright colors like turquoise or red, patchwork, or tie-die, or with beautiful, artistic designs like an autumn tree instead of a dino pattern.  Baby usually wears gorgeous wool pants or wrap (doubles as diaper cover) with a Bob Dylan t-shirt or something.  Not that you will share my tastes, but I wanted to remind you that there are really original, eye-catching baby clothes out there that aren't pink or blue, if you look for them!

 

Back on subject, we are re-inventing our lives right now and so the baby thing is much less center stage than it previous pregnancies.  Then again, we had a baby a year ago and there doesn't seem to be much we need to do this time around!


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#19 of 26 Old 01-08-2011, 09:47 PM
 
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Yamilee, I am so sorry for your loss.  That must be really hard to loose your mom especially when you're pregnant.hug2.gif

 

My main issue with the gender specific colors is that my favorite color is purple.  So when I see any purple baby clothes I think they are the cutest thing ever and want to buy them.  Which is fine if the baby is a girl, but if I indulge my love of purple I may end up with a purple wearing boy, which is ok, but not for me.  I don't like pink either, nor would I dress a boy only in blue, but I'm not dressing a boy in frilly purple girl clothes.  :) 

 

Today my friend brought us over a boppy, a baby food mill, and a really nice wooden potty.  Yay!

 

Traveling mamas.... we used to travel too!  When DD1 was a baby we had a sweet RV van that we traveled the country in for 3 yrs.  Good times!


Deirdre partners.gif partner to Josiah , mama of jumpers.gif, and.... it's a BOY!!!! babyf.gif4/23/2011
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#20 of 26 Old 01-09-2011, 08:39 AM
 
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OregonicMama, that is too cool!


Diana, homebirthing, homeschooling, homemaking wife and mother of two (plus one more coming this Spring)!
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#21 of 26 Old 01-09-2011, 07:02 PM
 
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Yamillee- I'm so sorry for your loss- how tragic.  This must be an incredibly difficult time for you.  I do hope you get some chance to bond with your baby emotionally and mentally, even if other unecessary things get ignored.

 

I don't really do much preparing in the way of baby-focused stuff until the last month.  That's when I wash clothes, sort diapers, set up changing station and bassinet.  I also prepare food, and clean.  Purchases are minimal and focused; we have boy and girl clothing- but I love gender neutral for newborns! I actually hate overly gendered clothes for infants- stupid baseball things or jeans for boys, and gross decorative things for girls.  While I can't resist a sweet pattern on a sleeper (either boyish or flowery) I really enjoy preserving the 'baby-ness' of the baby- which is largely ungendered for me.  And even then...I'm pretty loose with my gender-specifications...we have a rule in our house: colours are for everyone ;) 

 

Anyway- these are the months that I focus on lifestyle changes- cleaning, organizing, renovating to make our house more efficient, and easier to manage.  I also spend time preparing so I can take extra time to relax and focus after the baby- I work hard with my responsibilities now to rest later.  Also, I do serious self-preperation and bonding.  I begin new, or start to honour old rituals, take time for my health, and do lots of reading.  Pregnancy is a very concious, focused time for me- newborns seem to rock my world so I do everything I can to prepare. 


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#22 of 26 Old 01-10-2011, 01:54 PM
 
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I've done nothing either.  Besides buying a few baby clothes on clearance.  This baby is a surprise and I already have one of each so I'll wash the newborn clothes for both.  Baby will sleep with us but I will put a pack and play or bassinet in our room.  I bought a new glider which is still in the box... I feel like April is still so far away.  We have to put away Christmas stuff and get past DD's 2nd birthday before I can think about baby arriving.


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#23 of 26 Old 01-10-2011, 03:23 PM
 
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I cleaned my bedroom today in preparation of moving the bassinet in there.  I need to get a couple of cute baskets to help store things on the shelf in the closet.  I told my DH that I want a boppy for my birthday in February.

 

And that's the extent.


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#24 of 26 Old 01-11-2011, 04:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamapigeon View Post

I haven't done much yet either. Some baby clothes I gathered from my baby crazy pre-prego days, but that's it. I feel like I can't do anything until February. My husband is in an internship program and won't find out where he's going until then even though it starts in March!!! Anyhow, I don't know where we'll be living so I don't know what we'll have room for... plus, with plans to breastfeed and co-sleep there is less to buy... can't get excited over toys because they're all cheap and plastic... also, no chain stores in our town so nowhere to shop. But you're not alone!!!! I'm glad I still have 3 months or else I'd be trying to diaper with dish cloths! ROTFLMAO.gif



 



Quote:
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Well...I have my provider and all that set.  And we are pretty set with name options.  We have a crib. Not set up- its in pieces.  Other than that nothing.  No point doing anything as long as the room is in chaos. Plus, I freak out everytime I think about the actual baby being here.  No furniture to keep any baby stuff in.  and when we were looking I got super overwhelmed.   I hope once we get the organizing part done the rest will fall into place easier.  I hope. We are planning on doing some organizing Sunday.  Hope that works out for us!! 


you can put me in the indecisive overwhelmed lot, that is just me by nature and when pregnant it is just so much worse. I did finally decide that yes we will use ds's old dresser and get ds a new dresser so the baby can use his, but then i have to make decisions on the carseat. Ds' infant seat is unusable because i saw rust on a metal piece. I have 1 convertible that is brand new i bought 1 year back, but was told it is not good for infants, and i also have an infant seat that was given to us that was said to be new but i am leary to use it just because i didn't purchase it or don't know the full history, although the fabric still smells new, it is set to expire december 2011, so I just don't know what to do, so i just went ahead and added an infant seat to my registry and decided dh is just going to have to deal with it, i really want a new infant seat for the baby. See how stressed this post is sounding already, lol!

 

I have to get a new crib, and decided i really would like a changing table with wheels so add that to my list of stuff i still need to decide on.

 

I do have stuff left from ds, and feel comfortable using his used bouncer, bassinett etc, stroller now that i have had it repaired, but the crib and the carseats are the things i stress on and the breastpumps.

 

But I do have the diapering situation done thank goodness, well just about, and that is one less thing to focus on, of course money is always an issue, I would love to just have 1000$ to get whatever else i need right now, but instead i have to shop around for bargains and space it out between now and when the baby is born.


supermod.gif semi crunchy single student super mama to DS 7wave.gif and DD 3shy.gif. Falling in stillheart.gif with single super dad superhero.gif to DD5kissy.gif and DD2energy.gif 
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#25 of 26 Old 01-11-2011, 06:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I

 

 

 

 

I can relate to the life events getting in the way this time. My grandmother's passing the week of Thanksgiving stopped baby thoughts for a while and I feel stalled with knowing that we're moving to a new job in the next couple weeks. I have been seeing a primary OB so far but have talked to a midwife about the delivery. I just haven't set up an appt yet because she is in the town we will be in soon and well we aren't there yet. I need to get on things with that though.  We did finally pick out baby names though! I feel so much better now that we have names. I don't mind that we don't know the gender and am kind of glad it'll be a surprise but I was stressing about not knowing the sex and not even having a guess on names. I think maybe I wasn't feeling bonded enough to the baby just yet. We finally hit names that just felt 'right' to me and I feel much more baby minded now even though we're still stalling on some things. I have started some baby crafts though and started working on a list of baby things we need. I won't start buying for a while yet but I feel better just knowing what I want/need to get. After making my list (I think I can still minimize it a bit more though) we do have some things and I don't feel as stressed now. We won't be going baby crazy and won't buy stuff but what we need for the first couple of months anyhow. I will feel better though once we get moved and *hopefully* get a new camper but we really NEED the space. This one isn't even ours ( on loan from the inlaws) so  I feel a little trapped by that too. I'll be happier with my own 'home' and can set up for baby the way I want. I think I'm just gonna work on some little baby crafts for now and just chill until we get moved and a new place. I'm just soooo glad we at least have names now!!!! (PS I can't figure out how to work the new reply box to format with space between paragraphs and such and it's driving me nuts so please excuse the long mess of words here)


Michelle mom to DD , DS , & lil DD plus and spending my days
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#26 of 26 Old 01-12-2011, 08:19 AM
 
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I haven't done much to prepare yet, either. Before Christmas, it just felt too premature, and my husband is superstitious, so he doesn't want to buy the big items until the very end for fear of jinxing things. I'm not too worried--babies are tiny and can't get into things, so I feel like as long as I have a carseat and a bed for it, and some diapers and clothes, we'll be fine to start out. We still have over three months to go--plenty of time!

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