Stop demanding an exact due date! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 23 Old 03-03-2011, 06:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My mom has asked me at least a dozen times what my EXACT due date is. I am full-term starting April 1st (37 weeks), so I could go anytime in April. So I just say I'm due in April. There is no reason whatsoever for someone to need to know the exact due date - it's just a guess based on the average length of pregnancy. How exactly is that information useful to her in any way?

 

No matter how many times I tell her that I'm term any time in April, I keep getting hassled. She keeps asking like I've never said anything and she's just curious. "Do you have an actual due date?" "Have they told you when you're due yet?" "You keep saying April, but what DAY???"

 

IT'S NOT AN EVICTION DATE! Why are people so consumed with the specific date when it's just a guess? If you go to an OB, they're going to change it five times anyway, it's not like it's an exact science and they can predict exactly what day the baby will be born. You know I'm full-term for the entire month of April, why is knowing the specific day I'm 40 weeks so all-fired important to you??


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#2 of 23 Old 03-03-2011, 06:37 PM
 
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Gah! I *hate* it when people insist on knowing the exact day. I learned my lesson with my last baby. This time around I just say that I'm due end of April or early May-ish. orngbiggrin.gif

Everyone wants to know so they can drive us nuts.

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#3 of 23 Old 03-04-2011, 03:24 AM
 
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I usually just tell people early April.  Or I say April 8 but I was pretty late with the last one.  The date thing really is such a joke.  I wish we could give ranges for due instead of actual dates.  That would be so much better. 


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#4 of 23 Old 03-04-2011, 05:10 AM
 
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Seriously. I stopped giving it out with my first one. Since with both pregnancies I've been due at the beginning of the month, I just say mid-March to mid-April (or mid-Aug. to mid-September, with DS). Sometime around there I should have a baby. If anyone wants to know the real due date, they can look at that and probably figure out it's around the beginning of April.


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#5 of 23 Old 03-04-2011, 07:40 AM
 
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I hate that too. I stick with "late April."

 

The most annoying follow-up question to me is "Didn't they give you an exact date?"

 

Who is "they"? I told my midwife what my EDD is, she matched it up with my LMP and cycle length on her wheel thingy, and we're all set...

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#6 of 23 Old 03-04-2011, 10:21 AM
 
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I'm due April 1, so I've told everyone early April.  Jokes not withstanding, I'm just not up for having the whole month of March be...is it here yet?  My first was due end of August, and I feel like I would have been better off saying September.  Grandmothers/coworkers/everyone heard "August" and on August 1, I started getting called every other day to "check in".

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#7 of 23 Old 03-04-2011, 10:26 AM
 
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UGH! YES! It seems like everyone I know has been asking me when I'm having the baby and they want an exact date. This is driving people I work with crazy, because they want to know EXACTLY when I'm going on maternity leave. I tell them that the baby will come when she is ready...sometime in the next 2-5 weeks. Only 5% of women have their babies on their due dates. I can't schedule my life around the estimated due date I got from my dr (april 8th).

 

The other question people want to know is, "how big will the baby be?" They are all sure I'm having a giant baby and think I'm the largest pregnant lady they've seen. I had a Dr. appt yesterday and in the obgyn office, there were 5 other women with just as big or bigger bellies than mine. It made me feel a lot better!

 

I've suggested that everyone start a pool and take bets on the due date & birth weight.

 

This is my first baby. I am such a weird combination of hyper, exhausted and grumpy! I really fear for the next person who makes a joke/sarcastic comment or annoying question about my size/due date.

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#8 of 23 Old 03-04-2011, 10:40 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by minkajane View Post

IT'S NOT AN EVICTION DATE! Why are people so consumed with the specific date when it's just a guess? If you go to an OB, they're going to change it five times anyway, it's not like it's an exact science and they can predict exactly what day the baby will be born. You know I'm full-term for the entire month of April, why is knowing the specific day I'm 40 weeks so all-fired important to you??
 

Ahh, but for many women it IS an eviction date!  You know, the "my doctor won't let me" ones.eyesroll.gif

 

And what is it with the date changing - is it really that common with OBs?  My ILs ask *every time* they call if my due date has been changed.  No, it hasn't (we have a MW).  But really, if it did, it doesn't really matter since I don't think the baby cares what date we set!

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#9 of 23 Old 03-04-2011, 12:33 PM
 
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I just say "April" too.  According to my calculation is is the 9th, the midwife says the 12th.  Some people were told May 1. 2whistle.gif  There are a few who ask if  I have been given a more exact due date.  I just look at them funny. ROTFLMAO.gif

 

 


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#10 of 23 Old 03-04-2011, 05:22 PM
 
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I'm crashing in from March since my EDD is March 28th.  When I was pregnant with my daughter people drove me NUTS bothering me "did that baby show up yet? haha" and so on for weeks before she was due.  So this time I've told people "beginning of April".  Still they keep saying "how much longer do you have now?" and I just want to snap "who knows?!?!" it's nothing to do with me!!

 

I know people don't have a lot to say to a pregnant woman, and I suppose EDD discussion is better than the "you look huge, are you sure it's not twins?" comments, but still I really don't like getting focused on one particular day for the baby to arrive.  I'm planning to turn off my wall on facebook 10 days before my EDD or when the first question about it gets posted.  People don't realize how obnoxious this hectoring can be.


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#11 of 23 Old 03-04-2011, 05:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by minkajane View Post

 

IT'S NOT AN EVICTION DATE! Why are people so consumed with the specific date when it's just a guess? If you go to an OB, they're going to change it five times anyway, it's not like it's an exact science and they can predict exactly what day the baby will be born. You know I'm full-term for the entire month of April, why is knowing the specific day I'm 40 weeks so all-fired important to you??


DDC crashing from May...I'm with you on this...I always just say mid-end of May and they always ask again for a date...I just reiterate what I all ready said.  It's so annoying!  Babies come on their own time...not my time.

 


S, mama to L(DD)-12/04, K(DS1)-12/06, C(DS2)-03/09 & B(DS3)-05/11

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#12 of 23 Old 03-06-2011, 12:07 AM
 
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I've had a different experience with the due date since my first was a preemie.  It has been a count down for me and everyone I care about to see how close we can get to the due date with this one. Since I readily give out the date, though, I haven't had any of these issues.  I just say, "April 5, but we'll see what SHE decides."

 

It has the added bonus of keeping people from showing up at my house until the end of April, too, to give me time to have her and get settled.  Yes, I am using this to my advantage!  :)  

 

As for due dates commonly being changed with OBs, I don't know.  Both times we have set a date before my first appointment and that was it.  The first ultrasound established her due date as being closer to April 8, but my OB said that wasn't enough of a difference to actually change the date on paper.  With my son, no one checked anything with the date other that when I claimed my last period had started.  Maybe I've just been lucky with OBs, though?


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#13 of 23 Old 03-06-2011, 12:28 PM
 
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I just say April 13th ish...I haven't asked the baby if he can read a calendar yet.  It makes them pause like, what is she talking about? LOL then they figure out that I'm making a joke about how the baby will show up when he's ready and feels like making an appearance.  (just not on DS bday please!)


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#14 of 23 Old 03-06-2011, 03:19 PM
 
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I say end of April early May. My due date is all over the map this time though. According to lmp it would be around April 7 but I guess I missed a period for no good reason??? because my due date from when I 'think' conception occurred is May 1. The early sonogram showed May 6 and a later sonogram said May 10 so I really have no clue. I'm just going with end of April-early May. I don't worry with giving an exact due date. I don't find it to be accurate at all. DD's due date by my calculations was end of August, sonogram said Sep 3 or so and she came August 9 at exactly 37 weeks (by my date). DS was June 19 by my count but doctor and sonogram insisted on July 1st. He came on his due date of June 19. I just let it go and give a range. I'm evil though so if people start insisting on an exact date I give them May 1st and a lonnnngggg spill of my due dates and when I think baby will come blah blah blah. They leave me alone then lol.


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#15 of 23 Old 03-06-2011, 06:47 PM
 
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For some reason, no one is hassling me for an exact date this time.

 

The only time I've ever really enjoyed telling people the exact date was with #1 when it was the exact date, and then the 5 days after that until he was born. I LOVED the shocked looks people would give me when I said, "Today!!" or "three days ago" with a big grin. Then they would inch away from me, as if the baby might slide out right then and there. ROTFLMAO.gif

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#16 of 23 Old 03-11-2011, 08:07 AM
 
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At first I kept it vague but I let family and friends know the EDD since I live far from all of them and they aren't the type to call very often. There are advantages to family that doesn't seem to care much and friends who are laid back. 


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#17 of 23 Old 03-11-2011, 10:16 AM
 
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DDCC- When I was pregnant and working, a lady came in and asked my due date. I just said, "Oh, the end of March." She said, "But what date?" I said, "Anytime at the end of March, the baby pretty much decides the actual date." (Keep in mind I did not know this woman AT ALL.) "But what day?" she insists. Finally, I just say, "March 20, but baby will come when he's ready."

She says, "Oh, yeah, but due dates don't really matter." irked.gifheadscratch.gifdizzy.gif

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#18 of 23 Old 03-11-2011, 01:11 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pandora665 View Post

I'm due April 1, so I've told everyone early April.  Jokes not withstanding, I'm just not up for having the whole month of March be...is it here yet?  My first was due end of August, and I feel like I would have been better off saying September.  Grandmothers/coworkers/everyone heard "August" and on August 1, I started getting called every other day to "check in".



Ditto.  4/6 here and I just say April.  It's easier than dealing with people and for PETE'S SAKE, it is really no one else's business!!!!  My mother wanted to know because she was visiting around the time when we *could* have gotten pregnant and is being disgustingly nosey about whether she was here when baby was conceived.  Back the #&$^ off!  Totally not your biz, even if we WERE close!!

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#19 of 23 Old 03-15-2011, 12:08 PM
 
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Last baby I just said, "Christmas." Meaning around Christmastime.  Baby came on Christmas Day so I guess I was giving an exact date after all!

 

This time, I've been saying Spring.  And now that it's about Spring I've changed it to "a month or two."  I have been helpfully informed that the midwife or doctor can figure out an exact date based on my LMC but I have the handy excuse of not having had one (conceived before I knew I was ovulating).  Per fundal measurements, I'm due April 30th but I asked my midwife if I could have a May 1st due date because I like the holiday significance.  So she crossed out 30 April and put down 1 May because, why not?  We don't really know when this baby's coming anyway!

 

We are hoping, and expecting, that the baby will come after 15 April because my mom works for H&R Block and when tax season ends she'll be all freed up to attend.


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#20 of 23 Old 03-15-2011, 03:52 PM
 
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My family keeps asking, too.  I keep saying mid-April.  It's so weird to me that they care so much, but I guess since DD#1 came on her due date, they expect this one to do the same?

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#21 of 23 Old 03-16-2011, 12:44 PM
 
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I am SOOOO here! 

 

I just say he'll come sometime in April since I'm "due" mid month.  I don't get why everyone is obsessed with the actual date either, like it's a coutdown or something.

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#22 of 23 Old 03-16-2011, 12:52 PM
 
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I love this thread!  Haha, when I was pregnant, everyone kept asking my due date and then telling me when I would have the baby.  I got a thousand calls on the actual due date, as if it was absolute, and the baby was surely born already.  He was a week and a half 'late' and people kept saying when are you going to have that baby?  Are you going to get induced?  Is something wrong?  AAAAAAAAAH!!!  Jeez.  If I have another one I'm not telling ANYONE the due date, which is such a silly thing to give a pregnant woman anyway, since really everyone is just guessing, and rarely accurate.  Teehee.

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#23 of 23 Old 03-16-2011, 01:47 PM
 
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I completely agree! I am due April 10th, and I feel like everyone has been asking my my EXACT due date, when that is not a predictor as to when the baby will arrive. This is especially frustrating because I have a small build, so my stomach looks larger than it would on a woman with an average build...immediately people start asking me how many babies I am having and if I am having twins. Twins would be wonderful, yet at 9 months pregnant, I dont feel very open to discussing how very large my stomach is. An estimate  of my due date should be enough.

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