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#1 of 90 Old 08-28-2010, 06:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This is a thread where women who are pregnant again after past pregnancy loss can gather to introduce ourselves, chat, vent, grieve, and celebrate on our journey to new rainbow babies.

Share as much or as little as your feel comfortable sharing. Congratulations! We can't wait to get to know you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tara, mama to Addison (4/07) and brokenheart.gif 03/20/10, brokenheart.gif05/27/10, and our newest addition and  rainbow1284.gifbabygirl.gif Emerson Rae (4/27/11) uc.jpg, married to John
 
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#2 of 90 Old 08-28-2010, 06:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi ladies....

I am kind of tip-toeing my foot in the water here...

I am 4 weeks 2 days today and due May 5th, so (if this one stays) will probably straddle April and May DDC's.

I'm Tara and I'm 25 years old with one 3 year old DD. We have been TTC since June 2009, and finally found out I was pregnant Feb. 13th, 2010. Everything was fine, until about 6 weeks. I had some brown spotting, and then we found out I had a raging symptomless UTI. I thought the spotting could just be from that so I went on abx against my better judgment, but I was just so scared. Then I had HCG and progesterone levels..and my progesterone level was a 5...a FIVE! I had a US done and there was a heartbeat and everything looked great! I went on prometrium, and everything was fine..no more spotting for 2 more weeks. I was scheduled for another US..but had to have it done a day early due to another episode of spotting. We found out that day that our baby had died shortly after the first US. I was devastated.

Fast forward to May 2010....and I found out I was pregnant again. This time, at 5 weeks 4 days I started spotting and just knew that that baby wouldn't stay. To me..any spotting = miscarriage so by the next day I had bright red bleeding. I thought I was taking it fine....since I had just gone through it, but a month or so later things got very tough and I was very very depressed.

Now here I am...pregnant again.. after being on prometrium starting at 4dpo....hoping and praying for this one to stay. Trying to take one day at a time and embrace this little life as long as I have him/her. This is by far the hardest year of my life.

Many of you probably have such similar stories so I am so glad that we can share our stories together and we all know almost *exactly* what we are all feeling.

Got my beta's done this week.

HCG = 133
Progesterone = 38.36

Second HCG = 402 with a doubling time of 30.8.

I am really having a hard time deciding on whether I should consent to a US around 7 weeks or not.....

Tara, mama to Addison (4/07) and brokenheart.gif 03/20/10, brokenheart.gif05/27/10, and our newest addition and  rainbow1284.gifbabygirl.gif Emerson Rae (4/27/11) uc.jpg, married to John
 
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#3 of 90 Old 08-28-2010, 08:49 PM
 
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Hey Tara! Thanks for making the thread.

My name is Kathy, I am 40 years old. I have one DS, age 6. I have been TTC #2 since Jan 08 (I was 37 when I started this). Since that time, I have had a 9w loss, then at 17 weeks, 20 weeks and rounding out the losses with another 9w loss back in January this year. This journey has been rough. I have had every test under the sun done and seen multiple MFM docs as well as my regular OBGYN docs and the final answer was "bad luck, if you really want one try again as soon as you can because you're old."

So for the past six months we have been actively TTC and finally got a BFP. Multiple BFP's because I keep POAS every single day. Is it dark? How dark? Is it darker than yesterday? I line them up like little soldiers in the bathroom and inspect them every day and compare to the new one. Because I am bonkers by this point.

The good that has come of this is I can tell my DH and I are so much stronger than just a few years ago. We have differing viewpoints on most subjects, including child rearing, so we have had our share of bumps in the road, but these past few years, which could have torn us apart, have been surprisingly smooth and strong. Hard on me personally, as well as my husband personally (I think he wants a kiddo more than I do!), but together we have become stronger. I am very thankful for that.

I hope this journey isn't just to strengthen our relationship, but to give us another child, which we desperately want.

We don't currently have insurance (won't kick in until Nov 1st because of a move to another state and a change in jobs), so an U/S is out of the question. I am kinda glad I don't have the option. If I did, I would most certainly be utilizing it! Now that I don't have that option, I am just having to contend with calming my brain rather than analyzing data. It might be good for me. I might end up losing my mind with all of you to witness!

I am so glad we are here.

Momma to DS 1, age 8 and rainbow baby DS2 4-21-11.
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#4 of 90 Old 08-28-2010, 09:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Geek~ I cried when I read your last sentence with the little happy jumper.....You know you're pregnant when...............

I am so happy we are here too!!! What struggles you and your DH have gone through. It breaks my heart! I am so glad we can vent and deal with our "stuff" in such a safe place.

I am really really *really* struggling with whether I want a US or not. They will give me one around 7 weeks....but I'm not sure I want one. The last time I had one they said everything was fine too...and it wasn't. I am not sure I would believe them if they said all was well....you know?

The other part of it is that a US can't really DO anything...as in...it can't really save a failing pregnancy you know? I am already on progesterone...so getting a US doesn't really tell us all that much more than waiting a few more weeks and hearing a heartbeat.

And..I am not totally convinced there are not some risks associated with early US's....

BUT....

seeing a little tiny baby with its heart beating is one of the biggest "pros" I can think of. That and the slight..or decent amount of relief I would feel if everything looks okay.

I just can't figure out what to do. My acupuncturist said stress is the biggest thing for me right now..and I need....NEED to stay stress free. So I am trying. Lots of praying and staying calm happening. I'm not sure if a US would stress me out more or not.

Ah...the decisions that come with pregnancy!

Tara, mama to Addison (4/07) and brokenheart.gif 03/20/10, brokenheart.gif05/27/10, and our newest addition and  rainbow1284.gifbabygirl.gif Emerson Rae (4/27/11) uc.jpg, married to John
 
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#5 of 90 Old 08-28-2010, 09:57 PM
 
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I know for a fact that if I *could* get an u/s sound, I definitely would. For me, the pro is knowing that there is a heart beating. So I know at least up to that point I have a live baby in there. My doc was so good to me that she said I could come in and she would scan me herself and not charge if I ever got really paranoid. I never took her up on it, but she did bring the scanner in when we couldn't get a heart beat with the doppler just to reassure me.

u/s are scary for me, but reassuring, too. They are the way I have found out about each loss, and when I get the scan and there is no heartbeat, I am at least thankful that I don't have to carry the baby any longer thinking that it's alive. Because I hate that. That's the worst.

Momma to DS 1, age 8 and rainbow baby DS2 4-21-11.
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#6 of 90 Old 08-28-2010, 10:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by geekgolightly View Post
I

u/s are scary for me, but reassuring, too. They are the way I have found out about each loss, and when I get the scan and there is no heartbeat, I am at least thankful that I don't have to carry the baby any longer thinking that it's alive. Because I hate that. That's the worst.
That *IS* the worst. *sigh* I carried my first miscarried baby for two extra weeks...though I thought everything was fine. When they said that the baby had died....and having to carry the baby for a few more days and waiting and wondering when things would "start" was terrible. Having a dead baby in you is one of the strangest feelings in the world. I know understand what my grandma went through as she had to carry her dead twin baby until the premature birth of my aunt.

Maybe I can just get the US..but have them do it as quickly as absolutely possible? I just don't know! Ugh.

Maybe the other reason I'm so scared about having a US is that the last time I had one...the US tech showed me with her body language that things were not good..and I didn't see a heartbeat..and the tech couldn't tell me a single THING! It was TERRIBLE! We had to wait in that freaking room for what seemed like FOREVER before the damn doctor came in to tell us what we already knew...that our baby had died.

Maybe that is the real reason I am struggling with this decision so much.

Tara, mama to Addison (4/07) and brokenheart.gif 03/20/10, brokenheart.gif05/27/10, and our newest addition and  rainbow1284.gifbabygirl.gif Emerson Rae (4/27/11) uc.jpg, married to John
 
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#7 of 90 Old 08-28-2010, 10:14 PM
 
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Oh yes, that would be awful. I would have a hard time with that decision then, too.

My u/s tech was trusted I guess? She had been with that practice for decades. Even though she isn't supposed to dx, only a doc can, she was very upfront with me and compassionate. I am going to miss her actually. And my OBGYN. I have to find a new provider. They aren't really going to know what I've been through. They will see it on the chart, but they won't have been through all it with me. Moving sucks.

Momma to DS 1, age 8 and rainbow baby DS2 4-21-11.
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#8 of 90 Old 08-29-2010, 12:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am so glad your tech was able to tell you and be honest!!! I think the added stress of everything was that the tech wasn't allowed to tell me anything...even though her body language said it ALL. I honestly do not ever want that freaking tech again. In fact..come to think of it..I'm going to request a DOCTOR do a US if/when I decide to get one...because I do NOT want to be in the room with a tech who can't tell me anything ever again. That was awful and humiliating.

Hmm...apparently I have some unresolved anger issues or something?

I'm so sorry you have to find new providers because of moving. That's really tough when you come to trust them and they've been with you through everything. New ones really won't understand as well as those who have gone through everything with you. s I am kind of in the same boat. I need to find new providers too I think....after the first trimester. I want to have a homebirth....but I need to figure out insurance stuff with that first. I hate money.

I am in such a ..."I want to have all the answers for everything right now" mentality that I am driving myself crazy! I realize I have plenty of time to figure everything out..but sometimes it doesn't seem like enough time..and other times it seems like WAY too far away!

I keep telling myself....just get through a day at a time....one day at a time..that is it.

Tara, mama to Addison (4/07) and brokenheart.gif 03/20/10, brokenheart.gif05/27/10, and our newest addition and  rainbow1284.gifbabygirl.gif Emerson Rae (4/27/11) uc.jpg, married to John
 
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#9 of 90 Old 08-29-2010, 05:45 AM
 
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Hi. I'm Sadie.. also pregnant for the first time after many losses. This is the first time I feel like it may stick. I've had several losses - all before 10 wks. The last time was about a yr ago. I'm scared out of my mind.

Quote:
Multiple BFP's because I keep POAS every single day. Is it dark? How dark? Is it darker than yesterday? I line them up like little soldiers in the bathroom and inspect them every day and compare to the new one. Because I am bonkers by this point.
I totally do this.

~Sadie fly-by-nursing1.gifintactlact.gif  guitar.gif sewmachine.gif - mom to dd 9/15/01, ds 11/12/03 {ubac}, and ds 4/29/2011, wife to Mitchell.  pos.gif coming soon in late June!
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#10 of 90 Old 08-30-2010, 12:18 AM
 
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Originally Posted by xtara2003x View Post

Maybe the other reason I'm so scared about having a US is that the last time I had one...the US tech showed me with her body language that things were not good..and I didn't see a heartbeat..and the tech couldn't tell me a single THING! It was TERRIBLE! We had to wait in that freaking room for what seemed like FOREVER before the damn doctor came in to tell us what we already knew...that our baby had died.
This happened to me too with my 11 week loss that was a missed m/c. I was pretty certain the baby had passed since I had abruptly lost all symptoms and could no longer find the heart beat with my doppler. But the tech refused to tell me anything as I was crying and begging. That whole experience was terrible.

Mama to 5 busy bees (12, 9, 7, 3, 2) and expecting #6 June/2014

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#11 of 90 Old 08-30-2010, 10:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
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This happened to me too with my 11 week loss that was a missed m/c. I was pretty certain the baby had passed since I had abruptly lost all symptoms and could no longer find the heart beat with my doppler. But the tech refused to tell me anything as I was crying and begging. That whole experience was terrible.

Yep..sounds very much like mine. I thought my baby was fine because the spotting stopped (but I was also put on progesterone) so the progesterone made the spotting stopped and made it a missed miscarriage. We mamas just KNOW...especially watching the body language and not seeing any heart beating. It was terribly traumatic. In fact, I am actually getting so angry about it again that I want to call and put a complaint down that that shouldn't be allowed. I mean I guess I understand that doctors are so busy so they need someone to do the other stuff..but the techs should be allowed to say something then!!!


And yep...I POAS again last night. It was SUPER super dark..which made me feel so much better. Much darker than the other ones. And my boobs have like doubled in size. I am really feeling that this little one will stick with us.

Tara, mama to Addison (4/07) and brokenheart.gif 03/20/10, brokenheart.gif05/27/10, and our newest addition and  rainbow1284.gifbabygirl.gif Emerson Rae (4/27/11) uc.jpg, married to John
 
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#12 of 90 Old 09-01-2010, 01:08 AM
 
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Popping in from April (though I may lurk a lot since I am due at the very end of April). I was always very grateful for my ultrasounds even with my losses because I at least got a picture of the baby, kwim? With my middle loss, we saw a heartbeat and a lovely little baby, and lost the baby about a week and a half later (miscarried 5.5 weeks later).

I was so glad to have that u/s pic of the baby just to reassure myself that I was not crazy and this baby did exist, kwim?

That being said, I have learned to read u/s so that even if the tech doesn't say anything, I can figure it out on my own. Here is a good site:

http://www.brooksidepress.org/Produc...nd_scannin.htm

If you watch when they do measurements, you can see if the baby is growing on track by figuring out what the baby is supposed to measure at for where you are at weekseise in pregnancy. For instance, I'm going to be 6w6d for our first u/s. So I'll be looking for a sac size of 20mm (4 weeks + 20 days = 6w6d) and CRL of 6mm (6 weeks + 6 days).

I'm still freaking out all the time, don't let me fool ya, I just try to overcontrol the situation and manage my freakouts that way.

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#13 of 90 Old 09-01-2010, 12:36 PM
 
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I have gained 2 pounds. Already. This happens with me. I gain about five pounds right in the beginning and then don't gain until into the second trimester.

I feel guilty that I am upset about this. I want to be able to enjoy this pregnancy, even if I do gain weight. (I am obese so I am not freaking for no good reason) I wish I could embrace everything instead of resenting the idea that I am going to lose all ground that I made over these past six months that I haven't been pregnant. For the past two and a half years I have mostly been pregnant and gained 40 pounds in the process. I lost 27 pounds since February when I had my last loss.

I think to myself what's the point of gaining all this weight when I am just going to lose another baby? And then I feel guilty about thinking that, too.

Yesterday I woke up convinced that I was having a miscarriage right then and there. I was convinced I was bleeding and I was terrified to go to the bathroom. I was mildly cramping and it was continuous and that just reinforced the idea. I finally did and there was not even a hint of blood, Clear clear clear discharge.

I am scared to have sex or have an orgasm. I have (selfish!) and then I worry that this is going to cause a miscarriage.

I am in full blown freak out mode.

Momma to DS 1, age 8 and rainbow baby DS2 4-21-11.
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#14 of 90 Old 09-02-2010, 01:39 AM
 
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Hi all, I'm Lacie and this is my second PAL. DS1 is turning 5 this month - had no issues conceiving/carrying him. Shortly before his first birthday, I got pregnant - 12 week u/s showed a missed miscarriage around 8 weeks. Then a month later I got pregnant again, started bleeding heavily due to a subchorionic hematoma at 6 weeks, and m/c at 9 weeks. Both times we saw the heartbeat around 6 weeks, so I'm one of those unlucky 5% that m/c after seeing the hb.

DS2 took 6 months to conceive after my second loss, and I was under the care of a RE for the first 12 weeks. I had a bunch of testing done, and discovered that I have the stupid MTHFR mutation. I also have issues with progesterone production, so between the baby aspirin/Folgard and PIO shots, I carried him successfully to term.

Now here I am, 3 years later, with a surprise pregnancy! I've started the baby aspirin, and am picking up Folgard tomorrow. Also hoping to get in to see my RE soon so I can start the PIO. I'm trying not to freak out too much about the possibility of miscarriage - it's easier this time now that I've had a successful pregnancy inbetween.

Wishing everyone lots and lots of sticky baby vibes!!!

Lacie, mama to Ethan (5), Logan (2), and Dylan, born 5/12/11!
 
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#15 of 90 Old 09-02-2010, 04:38 PM
 
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I think to myself what's the point of gaining all this weight when I am just going to lose another baby? And then I feel guilty about thinking that, too.

Yesterday I woke up convinced that I was having a miscarriage right then and there. I was convinced I was bleeding and I was terrified to go to the bathroom. I was mildly cramping and it was continuous and that just reinforced the idea. I finally did and there was not even a hint of blood, Clear clear clear discharge.

I am scared to have sex or have an orgasm. I have (selfish!) and then I worry that this is going to cause a miscarriage.

I am in full blown freak out mode.
Ah, I couldn't read this and not respond. I'm so there with ya. Every time I feel the tiniest twinge of a cramp or anything, I immediately think I'm about to start bleeding.. scared to use the toilet.. etc. Scared to make love, scared to O.. I thought this caused one of my miscarriages in the past. I've read in several different places this cannot cause m/c.. but still feel I shouldn't, and do{selfish!}, and then feel guilty.

You are so not alone. Hopefully, we will get thru the fright of early pregnancy, and look back and laugh at our neuroses!

~Sadie fly-by-nursing1.gifintactlact.gif  guitar.gif sewmachine.gif - mom to dd 9/15/01, ds 11/12/03 {ubac}, and ds 4/29/2011, wife to Mitchell.  pos.gif coming soon in late June!
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#16 of 90 Old 09-02-2010, 04:39 PM
 
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What is the purpose of baby aspirin? Can you tell me more about that please?

~Sadie fly-by-nursing1.gifintactlact.gif  guitar.gif sewmachine.gif - mom to dd 9/15/01, ds 11/12/03 {ubac}, and ds 4/29/2011, wife to Mitchell.  pos.gif coming soon in late June!
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#17 of 90 Old 09-02-2010, 05:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Geek~ s I get myself all worked out and get convinced something is wrong too. It's terrible how easily we can do that to ourselves. I hate tiny cramps because I'm afraid bigger ones are coming, and I am petrified to have sex/O and feel guilty over "not being a good wife" in that area.

Everything is just so terrifying. Walking around at the zoo with DD I kept thinking maybe I shouldn't be walking around so much.....etc.

It really really stinks. I just want to feel less anxious!

s to everyone going through this!!


LacieD~ I saw my baby's HB atound 6 weeks too and had a miscarriage shortly two weeks after though the baby died shortly after we saw the HB.



s Welcome back!! Hang in there!!!!

AFM:

5 weeks today. The last time I got pregnant I started spotting at 5 weeks 4 days. The time before that...around 5 weeks 2 days. I feel like this is an important week for me. If I can get past the next week with no spotting....I will feel a bit of relief. *sigh*

Was just on vacation visiting my sister for a few days.....and now I"m home. It's nice to be home..but now I think about my pregnancy so much more than when I was with my sister staying busy.

Tara, mama to Addison (4/07) and brokenheart.gif 03/20/10, brokenheart.gif05/27/10, and our newest addition and  rainbow1284.gifbabygirl.gif Emerson Rae (4/27/11) uc.jpg, married to John
 
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#18 of 90 Old 09-03-2010, 12:48 AM
 
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Sadie, I take the baby aspirin because of the MTHFR. The MTHFR increases the chance of blood clots in the placenta, so the baby aspirin thins your blood to prevent that from happening. That's the quick and dirty version, anyway.

Lacie, mama to Ethan (5), Logan (2), and Dylan, born 5/12/11!
 
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#19 of 90 Old 09-03-2010, 02:29 AM
 
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Thanks for starting this thread - it's reassuring to know that there are others in the same boat.

I'm also wondering.. what's the reason for baby aspirin?

I just got my BFP yesterday, 2 mos after an early m/c at 5 wks. I'm only 3 wks and a few days along, so I'm pretty nervous and still poas 2x day to see if the lines are getting darker. Sort of embarassed to admit that.. guess I should calm down already
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#20 of 90 Old 09-03-2010, 02:45 AM
 
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Sadie, I take the baby aspirin because of the MTHFR. The MTHFR increases the chance of blood clots in the placenta, so the baby aspirin thins your blood to prevent that from happening. That's the quick and dirty version, anyway.
That *really* looks like some sort of expletive, lol. Sorry to hear that's a problem for you.. and I hope the baby aspirin does its job.

~Sadie fly-by-nursing1.gifintactlact.gif  guitar.gif sewmachine.gif - mom to dd 9/15/01, ds 11/12/03 {ubac}, and ds 4/29/2011, wife to Mitchell.  pos.gif coming soon in late June!
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#21 of 90 Old 09-03-2010, 11:36 AM
 
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Just joining in here. I'm 6w5d right now with my 6th pregnancy. I have 2 dd's, 6 and 3. My last loss was almost exactly one year ago. I absolutely hate the uncertainty of pregnancy after loss. I hate the fact that I worry about every stupid little thing. All the while trying to stay calm and not stress because I know that's not good. I try to have the whatever is going to happen will happen mentality but I'm not very good at that.

With this pregnancy I've known since 3w5d and I'm beginning to think that's just way too early to know. Because then it takes forever to get through the first tri. I've had tons of crampy/pully/twingy stuff this time and my midwife assures me that's just normal after this many pregnancy's. But it always concerns me. I had a dream today right before I woke up that I had used the bathroom and was spotting. I was very scared to use the bathroom when I woke up. But nothing. I look at every single wipe just to make sure. I'm worried that I don't feel bad enough. M/s started for me at about 5w4d this time and I had a couple really bad days. But the past few I feel yucky and super tired and have moments of complete nausea but then wonder if it's enough. My dh said last night, "So you're worried because you feel like crap all day and it's not enough??" I mean really, am I going crazy?

I see the same midwife I've seen for all my pregnancy's and love her but she's very wait and see how it goes person. Which is why I like her. But I'm so tempted to go see an OB to get an early ultrasound just to see. If I could see a heartbeat would that make it less worrisome or more? The other part of me thinks, just wait until 11 weeks when I'll go to my midwife and have an ultrasound with her. Whatever will happen will happen...

On the outside I seem fine, calm, but I just absolutely hate the wondering, the worrying, the hoping and praying. Okay, well, I guess I needed to just get it all out there. So here's hoping we all have sticky babies and healthy pregnancies!

Mama to three wonderful girls, H (9-2-04), A (8-23-07), and Q(4-24-11, our Easter baby). Married to D since (6-3-00).

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#22 of 90 Old 09-03-2010, 12:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by kitty waltz View Post
You are so not alone. Hopefully, we will get thru the fright of early pregnancy, and look back and laugh at our neuroses!
Yes! I would so love this. I am sending out a request to the universe that we all have safe happy and healthy pregnancies.

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Geek~ s I get myself all worked out and get convinced something is wrong too. It's terrible how easily we can do that to ourselves. I hate tiny cramps because I'm afraid bigger ones are coming, and I am petrified to have sex/O and feel guilty over "not being a good wife" in that area.

Everything is just so terrifying. Walking around at the zoo with DD I kept thinking maybe I shouldn't be walking around so much.....etc.

It really really stinks. I just want to feel less anxious!

s to everyone going through this!!
It does feel good, or at least less lonely that pretty much all of us are experiencing essentially the same thing.

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Was just on vacation visiting my sister for a few days.....and now I"m home. It's nice to be home..but now I think about my pregnancy so much more than when I was with my sister staying busy.
This is why, even though I will be exhausted, I am looking forward to starting my new job. I need something to keep my mind off of things. I hope, though, that my new job is less demanding than my last one. It was *extremely* difficult to find even two minutes to get water in my 12-15 hour shift, other than my 30 minute lunch. Working in ICU was far too stressful to have a healthy pregnancy. I am working in trauma stepdown now, and hope that I will be able to leave my patients side long enough to get water!

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Originally Posted by sillysmile View Post
Thanks for starting this thread - it's reassuring to know that there are others in the same boat.


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I just got my BFP yesterday, 2 mos after an early m/c at 5 wks. I'm only 3 wks and a few days along, so I'm pretty nervous and still poas 2x day to see if the lines are getting darker. Sort of embarassed to admit that.. guess I should calm down already
I am 5w5days and *still* POAS every day! You are in excellent POAS crazy lady company here.

Momma to DS 1, age 8 and rainbow baby DS2 4-21-11.
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#23 of 90 Old 09-03-2010, 12:33 PM
 
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Hi! This is my third pregnancy this year with a loss in December 09 and April 10. We're hoping and praying this baby lives. I go next Wednesday for a sonogram. I'll be just 6wks and am really wanting to hear the heartbeat.
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#24 of 90 Old 09-03-2010, 11:35 PM
 
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Glad to hear that there are other POAS crazies here

So today my 19m DD took every opportunity she could to kick, punch, or hurl various other body parts toward my little bean. I know it's a well-cushioned nest, but it still makes me nervous. Anyone else with a wild toddler on their hands?
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#25 of 90 Old 09-04-2010, 01:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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ME!

My 3 year old seems to want to bounce on my belly every chance she gets. I can't believe how overprotective of my belly I can be. I explain to DD she needs to be gentle and usually all it takes is a gentle reminder not to be too rough.

Tara, mama to Addison (4/07) and brokenheart.gif 03/20/10, brokenheart.gif05/27/10, and our newest addition and  rainbow1284.gifbabygirl.gif Emerson Rae (4/27/11) uc.jpg, married to John
 
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#26 of 90 Old 09-04-2010, 02:07 AM
 
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OMG I can't wait until DD learns "gentle". Right now I've pretty much taught her that it means "hit mommy in the face", because that's when I usually say "gentle, please". Guess I should have seen that one coming
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#27 of 90 Old 09-11-2010, 06:06 PM
 
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Just checking in.. how is everyone doing? I'm 7 wks along today.. been pukey half of the week. I'm beginning to stop worrying.

~Sadie fly-by-nursing1.gifintactlact.gif  guitar.gif sewmachine.gif - mom to dd 9/15/01, ds 11/12/03 {ubac}, and ds 4/29/2011, wife to Mitchell.  pos.gif coming soon in late June!
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#28 of 90 Old 09-11-2010, 08:06 PM
 
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Hi Mamas!

I am very excited to be here.

My name is Charlotte. I live in the beautiful White Mountains of NH with my DH, Adam and my 2 year old DS, Marshall. We wanted another baby so very, very much. We tried for 6 months and conceived in March '09. I had a missed miscarriage found in June, waited for 45 days to pass the baby naturally, and then finally a D&E in July.

I read TCOYF after that miscarriage and began charting. I have been charting for one cycle and after ovulation my BBTs just kept rising and rising. I am 14 DPO today and tested + this morning. I couldn't believe it!

Instead of telling myself to remain calm and collected, I have allowed myself to feel joy and even elation, today. Even if I wake up tomorrow and this wonderful day was just a dream, I will have had a day filled with joy and hope.

I regret a few things about my last pregnancy; being a worry-wort, allowing the nausea and fatigue to get to me, etc... I am just going to cherish and enjoy this one for as long as I am able to.

Best wishes to all!

treehugger.gif and geek.gif walking a path illuminated by our coolshine.gif5/08coolshine.gif 8/11 3rdtri.gif due in 1/14

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#29 of 90 Old 09-12-2010, 11:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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cparkly~

WELCOME! I am sooo glad you are allowing yourself to feel joy and happiness!!! That made me smile so much to read that!!

kitty waltz~ Yah for almost being done worrying!!!!!!

I am 6 weeks 3 days today. I'll be 7 weeks on Thursday. I feel a lot more reassured that things are going well since with both miscarriages, I started spotting sometime in the 5th week. I've passed that mark...and now I feel like if I can make it another week or two without issues, I'll be good to go!!!!

My first m/c, the baby died shortly after the US at 6 weeks..but I didn't' miscarry until 8.5 weeks.

I still feel very sick, tired, nauseous, and emotional though so I just keep remembering those signs....oh yeah and such such sore BBs!!!!

I hope everyone else is doing well!!!

Tara, mama to Addison (4/07) and brokenheart.gif 03/20/10, brokenheart.gif05/27/10, and our newest addition and  rainbow1284.gifbabygirl.gif Emerson Rae (4/27/11) uc.jpg, married to John
 
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#30 of 90 Old 09-14-2010, 06:22 PM
 
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hey everyone. hope you're doing well.

i sort of am, but sort of not. i am continually monitoring myself for symptoms, totally micromanaging my pregnancy and the thing is, i know i have no control over the outcome (except stress is not good so i need to calm the heck down) so my micromanaging is LOONY outerspace crazy lady stuff. it does me NO. GOOD. yet i do it on a minute by minute basis.

today i didnt gag as much while brushing my teeth. OH NOES i think. OH NOES THE WORLD IS ENDING

and all day i was thinking ok well maybe there isnt a baby anymore. who knows. i kept trying to get it off my mind. and then when i got home from orientation (just started a job) i noticed signifigant bloat and my boobs hurt after taking my bra off so i thought, ok maybe im safe.

WHY am i head tripping myself like this. i literally can.not. stop this behavior. i know its bad. but i cant help myself.

can anyone relate?

Momma to DS 1, age 8 and rainbow baby DS2 4-21-11.
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