My Horrible Appointment - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 10-07-2010, 02:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok. Horrible is a hyperbole but I did cry afterward. Nothing was awful but it wasn't the wonderful experience I'd hoped for. I went to see my usual gyno whom I do love as a person/friend and for regular woman stuff because she is so sweet, funny and in and out.

I got there and was seen immediately by her assistant who always seems distant. She did my urinalysis and didn't give me any results on it. She did my b/p and didn't tell me what it was. She did my medical history and baby having history. Then she put me in the room and told me to take everything off below the waist. I was wearing a skirt so I just kept that on. The doctor came in and I asked if she was doing a pap because I'd just had one last month. She said no, it was just STD screening so I got it because it will make refusing the eye ointment easier when that time comes.

Then we did my questions. I asked what the chances were if I had the baby at the hospital 10 miles from my house that I'd have her attend. She was at least truthful- slim to none because she mainly delivers at one in a different state ( an hour and a half away). If I do the one by my house it's almost certain I will get her partner whom I HATE! I was a little upset and told her that I will drive to her hospital but I really hate the idea of being in a car so long during labor. She was very smiley and said, "Oh! We'll just schedule it then! We can induce you about a week and a half before your due date." Then I felt like I was being a downer when I said, "This is probably my last baby. I want it to be perfect and special. I really don't want to be induced." So she said, "You have long labors, just come on in and if you're only 1 or 2 cm instead of sending you home we'll start the pitocin."

I moved on to my other concerns. She was willing to write me a prescription for Zofran which I haven't filled yet because my nausea hasn't been as bad this week. I am going to a work conference next week so I plan on filling it just in case I need it while there. I then told her I want an ultrasound. I was about to say at 20 weeks when she bursts in (excitedly-not meanly) and said, "We're going to do one today!" I told her I don't want one today, and she asked why. I explained I don't want a vaginal one and I don't want one so early because I don't want to do anything that might hurt the baby (which sounded majorly stupid coming out of my mouth.) She did talk me into it by saying since I am thin we could do it abdomonally. So I got it. And I did love seeing the little heartbeat but if she talked me into that so easily what else might happen later?

Then I had all those vials of blood taken by the cold assistant. While I was walking back from the ultrasound room to the blood station I passed her talking to a young 17ish aged girl who was crying. The door was open. This girl obviously wasn't happy about being pregnant and I felt just by walking by the open door I was intruding. Amazingly , the assistant had a bit of sense and walked over and shut the door.

On the way out I got an Enfamil bag with stuff, mainly magazines. So, it wasn't horrible but I was upset because I know I deserve differently. With the other pregnancies I always did y own urine dips, and my midwives seemed to defer to me about everything. Just typical stuff but I feel really uneasy about it. Plus, if I have to be driving an hour and a half (more if it's Memorial Day Weekend) to that hospital I might as well go to the birth center which is only about 15-30 minutes past that hospital.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far.

Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan dust.gifage8, Ava energy.gifage 4 and baby Georgia baby.gif (6/3/11).

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#2 of 10 Old 10-07-2010, 03:12 PM
 
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The assistants never tell you the results, they tell the doctors if there's a problem. You have to ask if you want the information.

Otherwise, in your situation I would switch providers immediately. You just sound unhappy. Midwives are known for much better care, you may want to look into one. Sweet & nice are not qualities I care much about, you want experienced providers that support your birth philosophy's. But in general midwives come with the sweetness too

ok I did read it all but now I'm confused...did you have a midwife in your previous births and you switched to your GYN? And you are going to a birth center or your not? Maybe it's preggo brain but I don't get the last paragraph.

Christian SAHM & birth doula.
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#3 of 10 Old 10-07-2010, 03:12 PM
 
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sorry it didnt turn out the way you wanted.

id doent sound to my like you got 'tricked' into anything, it sounds to me like maby you wernt sure about it? ( ie: the ultrasound) so it was easier for her to get excited, then it gets you excited! lol

i always get nervous, (and im not a shy person) when i go into places with a set agenda...i get nervous im going to mess it up! haha i now try to just sit and listen, it gives me time to think while they talk. i know what i want (and obviously you do too) so maybe just wait till the topic comes up (ultrasound schedule ect...) and you can say "no thank you" or somethign without inviting dialogue about it.

and about the birth center v 1.5 hour drive. i labored in the car for 45 minutes to the hospital of my choice to see the midwife i wanted. and it was uncomfortable but SOO worht it!
pack the backseat with pillows, and hang out hwile hubby drives.

good luck in your choice!

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#4 of 10 Old 10-07-2010, 03:15 PM
 
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mama to 9 year old h  and 3 year old z

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#5 of 10 Old 10-07-2010, 03:18 PM
 
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It just plain sucks to go from midwifery care to OB care, regardless of how great the OB is.. it's just such a different experience.

Are there any other care providers that would make it easier to deliver near your house? That way you dont have to go in until you are really close. But when the hospital is so far away it's hard not to go in early and then have them do a bunch of interventions.

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#6 of 10 Old 10-07-2010, 03:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovebeingamomma View Post
The assistants never tell you the results, they tell the doctors if there's a problem. You have to ask if you want the information.

Otherwise, in your situation I would switch providers immediately. You just sound unhappy. Midwives are known for much better care, you may want to look into one. Sweet & nice are not qualities I care much about, you want experienced providers that support your birth philosophy's. But in general midwives come with the sweetness too

ok I did read it all but now I'm confused...did you have a midwife in your previous births and you switched to your GYN? And you are going to a birth center or your not? Maybe it's preggo brain but I don't get the last paragraph.
Yes. I have always used midwives. Unfortunately, there are none around here. The CNMI used for DD1 moved and the CPM I used for DD2 retired. It was just a different experience than I am used to. I was considering using midwives and a birth center in a different state but nervous about the drive in labor so I decided to give my gyno a try to avoid the car ride. But if I want her as an attendant I'll have to drive an hour and a half anyway so I might as well go to the birth center.

Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan dust.gifage8, Ava energy.gifage 4 and baby Georgia baby.gif (6/3/11).

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#7 of 10 Old 10-07-2010, 03:47 PM
 
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Sounds like she's really into convenience birthing and all the bells and whistles that go with it. Docs are really good about knowing exactly what to say to get you to do what they want. Which is what it sounds like your doc did with the u/s. You tried to refuse, but she got it to happen anyway. This is a perfect point of why doulas are good for birth.

I'm sorry you didn't get the kind of care you'd hoped for. I would look for a more natural birth friendly person. She just sounds way too eager to induce and use pit for my tastes...or should I say for her convenience.

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#8 of 10 Old 10-07-2010, 07:57 PM
 
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I think that if you are going to have to drive almost the same distance to have her or go to a birth center, then I would go to the birth center.

Is there anyone who does homebirth near you, or are those the one you mentioned that are gone?

I agree, she is a little eager to induce IMO as well.

Heather
mama to E (4 years) and J (2 years) and K (born in May)
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#9 of 10 Old 10-07-2010, 08:18 PM
 
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I would immediately switch providers as well. If she's OK w/ inducing a week and a half before your edd, I'd not be Ok w/ that. It seems that your philosophies might not mesh well.

Mama to two lovely boys and a new baby due mid-May 2011
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#10 of 10 Old 10-07-2010, 08:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by northcountrymommy View Post
I think that if you are going to have to drive almost the same distance to have her or go to a birth center, then I would go to the birth center.

Is there anyone who does homebirth near you, or are those the one you mentioned that are gone?

I agree, she is a little eager to induce IMO as well.
Yes. They're gone. I do have the word out though and am hoping someone new springs on my radar. Now that midwives in VA are licensed most will not risk their license to drive down here to NC to do a homebirth.

There is a midwife who attends hospital births about 60 miles from me so that's an option too.

Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan dust.gifage8, Ava energy.gifage 4 and baby Georgia baby.gif (6/3/11).

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